Time and How to Spend It

Your time is shrinking by the second – why not use science to ensure you make the most of it?

1. Positive Experiences Lead to Happiness and Success

People tend to feel they don't have enough free time despite having several hours daily, often because we waste it scrolling through devices or prioritize work over meaningful leisure. Research shows experiences, not work, are what truly make us happy. Engaging in enjoyable activities boosts well-being and creates a foundation for success, rather than the other way around.

Happiness has been proven as a precursor to success in studies by Cornell and Harvard. Despite societal emphasis on productivity, meaningful experiences foster joy and a sense of fulfillment much more effectively. Shifting focus from constant busyness to purposeful leisure can help us lead richer, happier lives.

To live well, ask yourself this: How are you spending the time you do have? Making time for enriching activities can transform how you feel and function in all areas of life.

Examples

• Americans and Brits feel time-starved but average over five free daily hours.
• Screens consume over three hours a day, stoking FOMO instead of satisfaction.
• Positive experiences, such as shared hobbies, result in both happiness and professional growth.

2. Be the Hero of Your Own Story

Life is more fulfilling when you see yourself as the protagonist of a grand story. Great stories involve change, struggles, and victories, which help give life meaning. The Story aspect of the STORIES checklist suggests viewing challenges as essential parts of personal growth.

Joseph Campbell’s "Hero’s Journey" highlights the notion of leaving the ordinary world, facing trials, and reaping rewards. This framework not only applies to fantasy tales but real modern life, motivating you to embrace opportunities and tackle obstacles head-on.

When you act as the hero in your own narrative, you embrace transformation. Struggles turn into tools for self-improvement, allowing a more adventurous and courageous approach to life.

Examples

• Facing fears during public speaking, then reveling in newfound confidence.
• Taking up a demanding hike and cherishing the stunning views after completing it.
• Returning from a soul-searching trip with wisdom to share, altering your perspective.

3. Seek Transformative Experiences

The best experiences aren’t just entertaining; they also change you. To feel fulfilled, seek out opportunities that help you grow, learn, and adapt. Change doesn’t have to be accidental – you can intentionally shape it.

Vacations showcase this principle. "Fly and flop" trips (resort vacations with minimal engagement) don’t create compelling stories or personal development. However, "go and become" trips that immerse you in new cultures or teach you a skill can transform you profoundly.

Even mundane hobbies, like learning to cook or taking a dance class, can ignite long-term personal change. Transformation leads to satisfaction and keeps life exciting.

Examples

• Attending a cultural workshop during a vacation instead of lazing by the pool.
• Taking martial arts lessons and gaining mental strength through discipline.
• Joining a language class and unlocking new ways to connect with people abroad.

4. Nature and Disconnecting Improve Moods

Being offline and surrounded by nature is one of the simplest ways to instantly feel better. The "Outside and Offline" part of STORIES encourages reducing screen time and reconnecting with natural environments for serenity and clarity.

Forest bathing, a Japanese tradition, reduces anger, fatigue, and cortisol. Coastal areas consistently rank high in happiness surveys, proving nature's power to refresh. On the flip side, excessive phone use leads to isolation and stress, resembling addictive gambling cycles with its erratic rewards.

Unplugging opens space for moments of beauty and spontaneity. Whether exploring parks, beaches, or mountains, these moments bring joy and balance.

Examples

• A forest hike that reduces tension and fosters deep, meaningful conversations.
• Gathering around a campfire instead of endlessly checking emails.
• A sunset walk along a lake, far from the distractions of notifications.

5. Relationships Counter Loneliness

Persistent loneliness has dire health effects, increasing risks of heart attacks, diabetes, and even mortality by up to 32%. Building strong connections and meaningful relationships is vital for health and well-being.

Loneliness can be tackled through engaging experiences. Joining clubs, groups, or participating in team sports encourages interaction and fulfilling connections. Shared activities allow storytelling, laughter, and bonding.

Research shows even solitary activities, like reading or meditation, provide mental nourishment that fosters social belonging on a broader level.

Examples

• Joining a hiking group promotes shared adventure and friendships.
• Reconnecting with neighbors through regular community events.
• Starting or joining a book club to exchange ideas and connect.

6. Intense Flow Experiences Bring Joy

True satisfaction often comes from immersive activities requiring full attention and effort – also known as flow. This involves engaging in challenging yet rewarding tasks that demand genuine focus.

The difference between "real flow" and "fake flow" is clear: Games or social media might distract you but lack the depth of flow states achieved through creative or physical efforts. Real flow has a struggle, immersion, and a rewarding end – much like the hero’s journey.

Whether through sports, playing an instrument, or taking up improv, intense engagement creates deeply memorable and joyful moments.

Examples

• Playing a team sport where focus on strategy brings community and exhilaration.
• Writing poetry or painting, losing track of time with intense creativity.
• Standing on stage during an improv class, both terrified and alive with energy.

7. Extraordinary Moments Shape Memories

The peak-end rule says we remember events primarily for their peak moments and endings. Extraordinary experiences, rather than just ordinary routines, leave lasting impressions.

An ordinary moment, like sipping tea, can gain significance through awareness and mindfulness. Conversely, adventures like attending a grand music festival etch unforgettable peaks into memory. How you end a day or event also impacts its recall later.

Balance ordinary experiences with occasional extraordinary highlights to create a well-rounded and happy life.

Examples

• Finishing a tough road trip with a once-in-a-lifetime concert.
• Appreciating a sunrise during a mundane weekday as something extraordinary.
• Planning a wonderful vacation ending with a spectacular farewell dinner.

8. Status Impacts Happiness

Status isn’t just about money or power; it’s about education, options, and active social participation. These forms of status offer control, enriching life through connectedness and new opportunities.

Continuing education or building expertise not only earns respect but often deepens a sense of purpose. Activities like joining committees or engaging in physical challenges boost both community involvement and personal satisfaction.

Using time actively rather than passively – like outdoor hobbies over TV – creates story-worthy experiences, increasing self-worth and happiness.

Examples

• Traveling to study traditional crafts and becoming an expert in a niche field.
• Networking through workplace initiatives gives you both status and belonging.
• Training for a marathon boosts physical confidence and fosters camaraderie.

9. Material Things Can't Replace Experiences

Using resources for experiences, not possessions, leads to long-lasting happiness. Unlike goods, experiences create memories, connections, and personal growth.

Giving money or time to help others often brings a stronger sense of joy than spending on trivial material items. Taking someone out for an adventure or coaching a community sports team enriches your bonds and creates stories.

Shift focus away from material consumption to actively investing in relationships, skills, and well-being.

Examples

• Spending on cooking classes with friends instead of dining out frequently.
• Organizing a family camping trip instead of buying new gadgets.
• Donating free time to volunteer causes that resonate with personal goals.

Takeaways

1. Plan activities that align with the STORIES elements for your weekends, like adventurous outings or skill-building workshops.
2. Set regular screen-free periods to avoid the pitfalls of fake flow and feel more connected to the present.
3. Invest in transformational and memorable experiences over material goods to build happiness and lasting fulfillment.