In his thought-provoking book "Unlearn," Humble The Poet challenges readers to question their deeply held beliefs and assumptions about life. Drawing from his experiences as a former elementary school teacher and his journey to becoming an internationally recognized artist, Humble The Poet offers a fresh perspective on happiness, love, success, and truth.
Introduction
We often hear that children are like sponges, absorbing everything around them. But what happens to that sponge-like quality as we grow older? As we transition from childhood to adulthood, we begin to organize our lives around the most compelling beliefs and assumptions we've absorbed. These scripts, once fluid, slowly solidify over time.
Unfortunately, many of us end up internalizing beliefs and assumptions that aren't true. If we've received enough evidence for them – from family, friends, education, or society – we simply assume they're accurate. Over time, these faulty frameworks can hold us back from feeling fulfilled or realizing our true potential.
Humble The Poet argues that to become lifelong learners, we sometimes need to unlearn first. This means letting go of incorrect beliefs and assumptions we've become attached to, in order to make space for the true nature of things. In "Unlearn," he explores the truths he's discovered about happiness, love, success, and truth itself.
Truths About Happiness
Happiness Is Simpler Than We Think
We often make happiness unnecessarily complicated. Many people subscribe to the idea that happiness is an elusive state, only possible when a vast constellation of circumstances aligns perfectly. However, Humble The Poet offers a simpler explanation:
Unhappiness is simply our response to seeing that the vision in front of us doesn't match the vision in our heads.
In other words, unhappiness is just the gap between our expectations and our reality. Happiness, then, isn't some rare external phenomenon. It's much more straightforward: happiness is our response to being in the moment – present with what is.
Embracing Life's Obstacles
It's easy to think that happiness is only possible when life is smooth sailing. But the truth is, we have very little control over what happens to us. That's why it's crucial to take control of how we interpret these circumstances.
Life is more accurately thought of as a string of obstacles, one after the other. Some obstacles are objectively formidable – like war breaking out in your homeland – while others are just annoying – like spilling coffee on your laptop. If we postpone our happiness until the day when obstacles become obsolete, we'll never be happy.
The Pursuit of More vs. Needing Less
There's a common assumption that we must get more to be happy. While this is true to an extent, especially for meeting basic needs like food, water, and shelter, it becomes a harmful stance beyond that point.
The pursuit of more is a game you'll never win. There will always be another zero to add to your income, another exclusive experience to have, or another gadget to add to your collection. In reality, happiness has little to do with getting more and everything to do with needing less.
Humble The Poet suggests actively acknowledging everything you already have and everything you already get to experience. By doing so, you'll find that happiness will bubble up to the surface like a deep spring. You'll come into the present moment, and the gap between your expectations and reality will narrow.
Truths About Love
The Myth of "The One"
Society has painted romantic relationships with a palette of Disney pastels, full of knights in shining armor and happily ever afters. While these images make for compelling children's films, they do little to help in the real world. In truth, pursuing or passively waiting for "the one" does more harm than good.
Love Yourself First
Instead of seeking "the one," Humble The Poet advocates for loving yourself first. This may sound selfish or cliché, but the relationship you have with yourself is undeniably your most important. After all, who else do you spend every waking and sleeping moment with?
True loving relationships arise when two whole individuals come together, not when two void and lonely people try to complete each other. These dynamics are free from conditions and dependency – two factors that inevitably lead to unnecessary challenges and complications.
Giving Love Instead of Demanding It
Rather than approaching relationships with a list of traits and characteristics you demand from a partner, Humble The Poet suggests coming to the table with a list of things you're ready and excited to give. This approach improves the experience for both parties and leads to what you're both after: love, appreciation, and respect.
Moreover, filling your own metaphorical cup makes you more attractive to others. Confidence is one of the most alluring qualities you can possess. So even if the long-term benefits of self-love don't grab you right away, consider doing it for the short-term gains.
Truths About Success
Success Doesn't Equal Happiness
As Humble The Poet's reputation and fanbase grew, he noticed something often heard but rarely believed: happiness doesn't directly correlate with success. While his career flourished, his sense of contentment and ease didn't necessarily follow suit.
The Reality of Pursuing Success
The importance of attaining success is a belief so pervasive that it's hard to appreciate its influence on us. While there's nothing wrong with wanting to be outstanding, it's crucial to approach the pursuit with eyes wide open.
Success is far less glamorous than society would have you believe. Simply having a compelling dream isn't enough; you have to roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty every single day. Initially, this means taking action around your current demands and commitments – even when you're exhausted and working for an hour or two is the least appealing thing you could imagine.
Comfort vs. Growth
We often hear that "you don't grow in your comfort zone," but it's equally important to acknowledge the inverse: you don't get comfort in your growth zone. Those who achieve long-term success aren't immune to feelings of anxiety, doubt, and fear. In fact, they likely experience these uncomfortable emotions more than most because they're constantly operating at their limit.
Money and Success
Society has tightly tied money to success, making wealth a go-to measuring stick. However, Humble The Poet reminds us that money is simply a tool. It should serve you; you shouldn't serve it. Once you have enough to cover your basic needs, more isn't necessarily better. As the Notorious B.I.G. famously said, "mo' money, mo' problems."
Truths About Truth
Embracing Uncomfortable Truths
While we might agree that truth is desirable, we often act otherwise in our daily lives. We fight to continue floating away with bubbles of fantasy rather than have them popped by the piercing pin of truth.
For instance, Western culture tends to avoid the topic of death, sweeping it under the rug. However, Humble The Poet argues that respect and appreciation for life can only come from respect and appreciation for death. Life is precious because it's fleeting, and the present is to be cherished precisely because the future isn't guaranteed.
Life Isn't Fair
Society often tries to sell the image of life being fair – that justice always prevails. However, this isn't the reality. Bad things happen to good people just as good things happen to bad people.
Confronting this truth can lead to questioning the value of being an upright citizen. What's the point if both the honorable and dishonorable are subject to misfortune? Humble The Poet's conclusion is this: being a good person should be done for its own sake, not because life will hand you a get-out-of-jail-free card in return.
The Empowerment of Truth
While these truths may seem disheartening at first, Humble The Poet encourages readers to awaken to the tremendous, if somewhat paradoxical, empowerment that comes with such clear-eyed sight. Don't discount yourself; you can handle the truth. And the truth, as they say, will set you free.
Practical Steps to Unlearn
While Humble The Poet doesn't provide a step-by-step guide to unlearning, he offers several practical suggestions throughout the book:
Practice Mindfulness: Be present in the moment and appreciate what you have right now.
Challenge Your Beliefs: Regularly question your assumptions and where they come from.
Embrace Discomfort: Recognize that growth often comes from uncomfortable situations.
Focus on Self-Love: Prioritize your relationship with yourself before seeking love from others.
Redefine Success: Look beyond societal definitions of success and create your own metrics.
Cultivate Gratitude: Regularly acknowledge what you already have in your life.
Face Hard Truths: Don't shy away from difficult realities like mortality; use them as motivation to live fully.
Give Without Expectation: In relationships and in life, focus on what you can give rather than what you can get.
Embrace Obstacles: See challenges as opportunities for growth rather than roadblocks to happiness.
Detach from Outcomes: Do good things for their own sake, not for expected rewards.
The Impact of Unlearning
As you begin to unlearn harmful beliefs and embrace these truths, you may experience several positive changes:
Increased Resilience: By accepting life's obstacles as normal, you become better equipped to handle challenges.
Improved Relationships: Self-love and a giving attitude can lead to healthier, more fulfilling connections.
Greater Contentment: Focusing on what you have rather than what you lack can increase overall life satisfaction.
Enhanced Personal Growth: Embracing discomfort and challenging your beliefs can accelerate personal development.
Clearer Perspective: Facing hard truths allows you to see life more clearly and make better decisions.
Increased Authenticity: By shedding societal expectations, you can live more true to yourself.
Reduced Anxiety: Letting go of the need for constant success and perfection can alleviate stress.
Greater Appreciation: Acknowledging life's impermanence can lead to a deeper appreciation for each moment.
Improved Decision-Making: A clearer understanding of reality allows for more informed choices.
Increased Empowerment: Realizing you have control over your reactions, if not your circumstances, is deeply empowering.
Final Thoughts
"Unlearn" is a powerful reminder that many of our struggles stem from faulty beliefs and assumptions we've accumulated over time. By challenging these narratives and embracing uncomfortable truths, we can live more authentic, fulfilling lives.
Humble The Poet's insights on happiness, love, success, and truth offer a refreshing perspective that cuts through societal noise. He reminds us that true fulfillment comes not from chasing external ideals, but from understanding ourselves and our place in the world more clearly.
The process of unlearning isn't always easy. It requires courage to face uncomfortable truths and let go of comforting illusions. However, the rewards – increased resilience, deeper relationships, greater contentment, and a clearer perspective on life – make the journey worthwhile.
As you close the pages of "Unlearn," you're left with a challenge: to examine your own beliefs, to question what you've always assumed to be true, and to be open to new perspectives. It's an invitation to embark on a lifelong journey of growth and self-discovery.
Remember, as Humble The Poet emphasizes, you can handle the truth. And in embracing it, you'll find a freedom and empowerment you may never have known was possible. The path to a more authentic, fulfilling life begins with unlearning – are you ready to take the first step?