Untangle Your Emotions Summary

Emotions are not a hindrance but a pathway to deeper connection—with God, others, and ourselves.

1. Emotions Are Meant to Be Felt, Not Fixed

Many people either avoid their emotions or rush to fix them without truly engaging with what they feel. This creates a cycle where emotions are suppressed only to resurface unexpectedly.

Engaging with our emotions allows us to understand their deeper purpose. Scripture and science agree that emotions are part of our humanity and serve as a connection to God and others. Instead of rejecting our pain, we must embrace it, as this opens the door to healing and wholeness.

When we let ourselves feel deeply, we begin untying the emotional knots that hold us back. Denying feelings diminishes our humanity, but turning towards emotions can lead to freedom and meaningful relationships.

Examples

• Feeling sadness after an argument might help us uncover unresolved issues and work toward reconciliation.
• Allowing ourselves to grieve after a loss creates space for emotional healing over time.
• Expressing joy fully, like laughing with loved ones, strengthens our bonds with them.

2. Emotions Are Gifts, Not Burdens

From childhood, many are taught to suppress emotions through phrases like “suck it up” or “don’t make a scene.” Society often labels emotions as illogical or dangerous, pushing people to hide or avoid them.

In contrast, emotions are core to the human experience. Think of how joy lights up special occasions or how sadness honors meaningful losses. Even God expresses emotions in Scripture, showing their divine origin and purpose.

Rather than viewing emotions as obstacles, seeing them as gifts helps us embrace both the highs and the lows. Emotions like fear or anger communicate where healing is needed and call us to rely on God during challenges.

Examples

• A parent moved to tears at a child’s graduation reflects the pride and love inherent in deep relationships.
• Fear can serve as a warning, encouraging safety and preparation, like double-checking tasks before an important event.
• The anger a community feels about injustice can fuel a collective movement toward change.

3. Mismanaging Emotions Can Lead to Problems

When emotions run unchecked, they can overpower reason and conscience. Acting solely on feelings often leads to selfish choices, while repressing them can result in emotional outbursts or long-term numbness.

Neither extreme works. A balanced approach lets us experience emotions while staying grounded. This requires awareness of the emotional “river” within us, using self-control as the riverbanks to guide its flow.

Even negative emotions have value. They illuminate areas of growth and urge us back to God when life becomes overwhelming. Embracing emotions with intention can keep us from being ruled by them or drowning in suppression.

Examples

• An angry reaction to criticism may stem from unaddressed insecurity and require thoughtful reflection instead of impulsive responses.
• Repressing sadness over a relationship ending can lead to unprocessed grief affecting future relationships.
• Fear of failure can serve as motivation when paired with preparation and trust in God.

4. Recognize and Name Your Emotions

Recognizing emotions begins with paying attention to what bubbles up inside us. Specificity matters—vague terms like “stressed” don’t provide the clarity needed to address deeper issues.

Naming emotions—such as anger, betrayal, or impatience—grounds us in self-awareness. Honesty with ourselves and God about these feelings is key to emotional health. This open acknowledgment gives us space to process and share authentically.

Emotionally granular people—those who can distinguish between subtle differences in their feelings—are shown to have stronger relationships and better health. Practicing this skill transforms our inner and outer lives.

Examples

• Replacing “I’m just stressed” with “I feel exhausted and anxious about tomorrow’s deadline” pinpoints the true problem.
• Fully expressing sorrow in prayer allows it to bring us closer to God.
• Sharing precise feelings in relationships fosters deeper understanding and connection.

5. The Body-Emotion Connection

Emotions are not purely mental; they show up in the body as well. Tight shoulders, headaches, or a racing heart often signal underlying feelings like tension or anxiety.

Paying attention to physical sensations can uncover hidden emotions. Asking questions like “How does my body feel?” opens the door to untangling repressed or confusing feelings.

Taking care of physical health also helps stabilize our emotional world. Simple practices—like prioritizing rest, eating well, and cutting back on screen time—have emotional benefits that ripple through daily life.

Examples

• Tightness in the chest during conflict may reflect unspoken anger or sadness.
• A sense of calm after jogging demonstrates how exercise can release emotional tension.
• Drinking sufficient water improves both physical and emotional well-being.

6. Sharing Emotions Creates Healing

Emotions become less overwhelming when shared with others in a safe, supportive environment. Talking about how we feel builds emotional resilience and heals emotional wounds.

Healthy sharing is about connection, not dumping feelings in a destructive way. Partners, friends, or communities who empathize help create spaces for growth. With the right support, emotional burdens become lighter.

Communal acknowledgment of emotions also strengthens bonds and fosters mutual care. Expressing grief with others or celebrating joy multiplies the blessings of both.

Examples

• A friend saying, “I feel sad you’re upset,” communicates care and understanding.
• Sharing struggles with a small group builds trust and accountability.
• Opening up during counseling sessions provides insights into long-standing emotional issues.

7. Lean on Trusted Community and God

A strong community amplifies emotional healing. Caring friends and family can share the load during life’s hardest moments, helping identify blind spots and offering strength.

Prayerfully approaching God with all of our emotions invites His guidance and peace. Honest prayers—whether joyful or heartbroken—connect us with our Creator, who knows and loves us fully.

Seeking professional help when needed, such as therapy or counseling, also equips us with tools for managing emotions in productive, sustainable ways.

Examples

• A friend offering encouragement during uncertainty provides needed stability and hope.
• Journaling prayers to God during anger allows us to process and seek patience.
• Therapy sessions can uncover patterns and strategies for navigating deep emotional challenges.

8. Emotionally Healthy People Live Wholeheartedly

Retaining connection to our emotions allows us to live fully and authentically. Emotional health means we’re no longer numbed by suppression or hijacked by overwhelming feelings.

Being present with our feelings opens doors to rich experiences. It enables vulnerability and deepens trust in relationships, creating reciprocal, life-giving connections.

Over time, as we face emotions with honesty and intentionality, we develop resilience. This leads to true personal flourishing, peace, and the ability to empower others.

Examples

• Engaging joy creates memorable experiences, like fully celebrating milestones with loved ones.
• Acknowledging fears allows vulnerability, such as admitting a need for support during hard times.
• Facing sadness without shame fosters intimacy and mutual care in close relationships.

9. The Journey to Emotional Freedom Can Be Learned

Transforming our relationship with emotions takes time, reflection, and intentional practice. It’s not about erasing difficult feelings but learning to steer through life’s emotional currents.

Starting small—like noticing and naming emotions throughout the day—is a practical first step. Gradually sharing feelings in safe circles helps create confidence in vulnerability.

This process leads to freedom: freedom from masking pain, freedom to connect authentically, and freedom to trust in the way God designed us as emotional beings.

Examples

• Journaling feelings each day builds the habit of emotional awareness.
• Sharing experiences with a trusted friend strengthens relational intimacy.
• Enrolling in therapy supports growth for those grappling with long-standing pains.

Takeaways

1. Practice naming emotions every day, starting with four primary ones: joy, sadness, anger, and fear.
2. Engage in regular emotional check-ins, noting both physical sensations and inner landscapes.
3. Build supportive community connections to share feelings openly and foster deeper relationships.