What Every BODY is Saying Summary

"How you move says more about what you’re thinking than what you say aloud." What if we could learn to decode a person’s emotions and intentions through their body language alone?

1. Body language forms the majority of our communication

Nonverbal cues dominate our interactions, accounting for about 60 to 65% of interpersonal communication. This means facial expressions, gestures, tone, and body movements often reveal what words may not. People's real feelings often leak through these signals.

For instance, when someone says, "I'm fine," but their voice trembles slightly or their body shifts away, their body language often speaks louder than their words. These unconscious actions are unfiltered and honest, a stark contrast to the carefully crafted stories people may tell.

The author, Joe Navarro, shares his personal story of immigrating to the United States as a child. He spoke no English but learned to understand his classmates through their body language. Even without a shared language, he could interpret their emotional states and intentions, forming friendships along the way.

Examples

• A person nodding while saying "no" shows inconsistencies between their verbal and nonverbal communication.
• A smile paired with stiff body posture can signal discomfort.
• Two strangers becoming friends through shared gestures like offering help illustrate the power of nonverbal connection.

2. The limbic brain governs our involuntary responses

The limbic brain, also known as the “honest brain,” controls our instinctive reactions, which often reveal feelings we might not want to express. This part of the brain is hardwired into our survival system, prompting immediate responses to stress, fear, or discomfort.

For example, humans tend to freeze when caught off guard – part of the "freeze, flight, or fight" response. This quick reaction served to protect early humans from predators. Today, it manifests in subtle ways like leaning back in a chair to distance oneself during a difficult conversation.

In high-pressure circumstances, such as interviews or negotiations, we often see behaviors like fidgeting to release tension or slightly leaning away from confrontational figures. These reactions help reveal what the person is experiencing internally.

Examples

• Someone freezing momentarily when accused of something indicates discomfort or hesitation.
• In a heated debate, leaning away demonstrates a subconscious "flight" response.
• A person clenching their fists tightly is a modern display of the "fight" reaction.

3. Feet and legs don’t lie

Our feet and legs often reveal truths the rest of our body may try to hide. Since they evolved as survival tools, they're naturally quick to react and are less consciously controlled than the face or hands. Observing these movements can yield insights into someone’s feelings.

When feet shift direction during a conversation, it can mean the person wants to leave. This might happen during an awkward social setting. Additionally, crossed legs can signal comfort, while uncrossing can show unease or readiness to act. Legs naturally bounce or wiggle when someone feels upbeat or excited.

Noticing such changes in foot or leg position during interactions can indicate shifts in a person’s emotional state, offering valuable clues about their thoughts.

Examples

• Feet pointing toward the exit in a meeting might suggest someone is disengaged or ready to leave.
• Two friends sitting with crossed legs during a conversation show mutual comfort.
• A nervous person tapping their foot during an interview demonstrates internal tension.

4. Hands reveal sensitivity under stress

Our hands are incredibly expressive, often showing how we feel about a situation. This is because they've evolved to perform fine and precise activities crucial for human survival. As a result, they tend to react visibly when we’re nervous or tense.

For instance, during stressful moments, you might notice someone rubbing their hands together or gripping objects tightly. The strength of a handshake can often indicate confidence or nervousness. Thumb gestures are particularly telling: thumbs up show positivity, while thumbs hidden in pockets hint at insecurity.

Whether it’s a handshake, pointing gesture, or subdued movement, hands can be thought of as a window into a person’s emotional state.

Examples

• A weak handshake followed by withdrawn thumbs signals discomfort in a new social setting.
• Nervously twisting a ring during a tough question demonstrates stress.
• Pointing aggressively at someone can create a perception of hostility.

5. Dishonesty has its tells

When people lie, their body often betrays them. The limbic brain reacts to the internal conflict of knowing the truth but fabricating a falsehood, leading to involuntary signals like quivering, delayed movements, or pacifying behaviors.

Someone holding a pen while feeling stressed might quiver or shake. After the tense moment passes, they might engage in pacifying gestures, such as rubbing their neck or adjusting their clothes, to self-soothe. These small patterns are subtle but noticeable to a trained observer.

It’s worth noting that body language showing discomfort doesn’t always indicate lying. Understanding a baseline for someone’s natural expressions is essential for accurate interpretation.

Examples

• A suspect during an interrogation touching their neck after answering questions inconsistently suggests nervousness.
• A job candidate twiddling a pen during a panel interview indicates unease or lack of confidence.
• Pausing mid-movement while fabricating a story reveals a momentary lag between thoughts and speech.

6. Becoming a skilled observer requires practice

Reading people effectively requires honing observational skills, as these abilities don’t develop overnight. The key is to note a person's baseline behavior—the way they act when they’re calm and comfortable—before assessing deviations from it.

Context is also essential. A smile can convey happiness in a friendly situation but might be forced during a tense interaction. Effective observers rely on situational awareness to connect environmental factors with body language.

By focusing on observable but subtle signs, patterns will eventually emerge. Building this skill is like learning a new language—you start with the basics before advancing to nuanced interpretations.

Examples

• Observing someone’s foot position during regular conversations builds a baseline for comparison during negotiations.
• A person shifting their body mid-debate might show discomfort, especially if that behavior deviates from their typical posture.
• A neutral face from a coworker that becomes tense during project discussions signals underlying concern.

7. True communication aligns body language with words

Truthful communication naturally pairs spoken words with body movements. Someone sharing a genuine story will instinctively use hands or facial expressions to enhance their message, whereas a made-up tale often results in mismatched verbal and physical cues.

A liar might unconsciously delay limb movement or blink more slowly as they struggle to create and deliver a falsehood. These mismatches can be clear if you’re paying close attention but shouldn’t be addressed directly, as that could alter their responses.

Observing natural pauses, delays, or overcompensation in body language while staying neutral and non-confrontational can help decode intent.

Examples

• A manager who is genuinely excited about a new project uses hand gestures naturally while speaking.
• A salesperson exaggerating enthusiasm while standing stiff might suggest insincerity.
• Delays in arm movement while giving an account of events could show they're fabricating details.

8. Discomfort shows in arm crossings

Arm gestures are rich in meaning. People standing in public with crossed arms often indicate a level of discomfort or reservation, particularly if their hands grip their biceps tightly as if for protection.

At home, however, we rarely cross our arms unless something is troubling us. This protective posture reflects tension or uneasiness about a situation. It’s often paired with other behaviors like leaning back or stiffened shoulders.

This insight is helpful during situations like group discussions, presentations, or public interactions, where reading discomfort can guide more open communication.

Examples

• A participant gripping their arms tightly during a speech shows nervousness.
• A child crossing their arms when scolded reflects distress.
• A friend at a cafe leaning back with crossed arms signals frustration about a topic.

9. Observation must remain flexible

Reading body language is not a rigid science—you can’t rely on a single movement to tell the full story. Instead, multiple signs must be considered collectively, balancing what is seen with situational factors.

Overconfidence in interpretations can lead to misjudgments. Observers should continually adjust their assumptions as new signs emerge, letting behavior dictate the analysis rather than forcing a preconceived narrative.

Paying attention without disturbing the natural flow of the subject’s behavior ensures the most authentic results.

Examples

• Observing slow responses during casual conversations without jumping to conclusions fosters deeper understanding.
• A salesperson adjusting their speaking tone alongside hesitant body language refines interpretation.
• Pausing judgment when someone shows conflicting signals reduces unnecessary bias.

Takeaways

1. Observe people’s legs and feet during conversations to gauge interest or nervousness—they reveal truths our face may conceal.
2. Establish a person’s baseline behavior in relaxed settings to better identify unusual movements later.
3. Pay attention to how hands interact with objects or other body parts during stress; self-soothing actions often follow tense moments.