Who Not How

"Success is rarely about 'How' to do something; it's about finding the 'Who' that can help you do it." This book challenges the very way we approach achieving goals—could your path to success rely on others more than yourself?

1. Shift From "How" to "Who" for Better Results

We often ask ourselves "How can I do this?" when setting a goal. The problem with this approach is that it places all the pressure on you to do every task, even the ones you're not skilled at. Instead, the book suggests you consider "Who can help me achieve this?"

Michael Jordan's journey with the Chicago Bulls exemplifies this concept. As an extraordinary player, Jordan couldn’t win a championship alone during his early seasons. It wasn't until the team brought in "Whos" like Scottie Pippen and coach Phil Jackson that success followed. The team utilized everyone's strengths, proving that collaboration beats individual effort.

If even the best basketball player needed people to amplify his talents, it shows how universally helpful it can be to identify the right collaborators. By focusing on your core abilities and outsourcing the rest, you make space for meaningful contributions.

Examples

• Michael Jordan's partnership with Scottie Pippen and Phil Jackson led to six NBA championships.
• Entrepreneurs often succeed by hiring specialists to fill gaps in their skillset, like a marketer bringing in a data analyst.
• Delegating mundane household chores, like cleaning, can free up mental energy for more creative or strategic work.

2. Asking for Help Expands Your Possibilities

Sometimes, the best ideas come not from your own mind but from someone else's suggestion. By incorporating the expertise or resources of others, you can open doors you didn’t even know existed.

Richie Norton experienced this firsthand as a teenager. His father suggested an unconventional summer job selling misshapen watermelons—a brilliant idea he’d never have thought of on his own. The result? Richie made money fast and enjoyed the rest of summer free from work.

Psychologists Elaine and Arthur Aron's Self-Expansion Model supports this idea. They argue that effectiveness is often shaped by relationships that expand your resources and vision. Involving a "Who" isn't just about ease; it's about unlocking opportunities you wouldn’t have imagined alone.

Examples

• Richie's successful watermelon-selling business stemmed from his father's suggestion.
• Working with a mentor can shift your perception of what's achievable in your career.
• Teams with diverse members often outperform homogeneous ones because of combined perspectives.

3. Procrastination Signals the Need for a "Who"

Procrastination gets a bad rap, but it can carry a hidden message: you’re delaying tasks because you lack either the knowledge or the skills to do them well.

Think about someone wanting to start a business but putting it off for years. This hesitation often stems from not knowing the "How." Asking "Who can help me?" is the first step out of that rut. The "Impact Filter" worksheet by Dan Sullivan helps clarify what outcomes you want—making it easier to identify the right collaborators.

Rather than struggling alone, reaching out can turn procrastination into productivity. When you delegate tasks to people better equipped to handle them, you'll find your momentum restored.

Examples

• A college student struggling with a dissertation hires a research assistant to help compile sources.
• Entrepreneurs often launch faster when they bring on co-founders to share the workload.
• Dan Sullivan's "Impact Filter" helps leaders explicitly define project goals for their Whos.

4. Time Freedom Leads to Financial Freedom

One of the biggest advantages of delegating is the time it frees up. That time can then be used for high-value activities that improve your income and impact.

Real estate coach Dean Jackson discovered this when he hired someone not just to clean his house but to take care of errands, like grocery shopping and laundry. This freed him to build his coaching business, generating much larger financial returns than the initial expense of hiring help.

Attorney Jacob Monty took this idea further by hiring a driver. This decision turned his commute into productive work time, ultimately allowing him to grow his earnings dramatically. Time saved translates directly into more opportunities.

Examples

• Dean Jackson’s helper made his home life seamless, giving him time to focus on his business.
• Jacob Monty’s driver allowed him to focus on high-priority legal tasks during commutes.
• Investing in a customer service team enabled a startup owner to focus on product development.

5. Focus on Results, Not Processes

Nicole Wipp learned the hard way that trying to control every process leads to burnout. Instead, leaders should focus on outcomes and delegate the "How" to others.

When Wipp started her own law firm, she found herself drowning in the details of daily operations. Once she brought in skilled team members and outlined clear goals, her team stepped up, freeing her to focus on law and her personal life. It’s a powerful reminder: your energy is best spent refining your vision, not micromanaging.

Transformational leadership means mentoring and empowering your team while giving them autonomy to innovate. This breeds loyalty and creativity, yielding better overall results.

Examples

• Nicole Wipp grew her law firm by hiring team members to take on administrative tasks.
• Transformational leaders often inspire employees to perform better than expected.
• Delegating allowed a CEO to focus exclusively on strategic planning, doubling company revenue.

6. Mutual Value Builds Long-Lasting Relationships

A "Who" relationship works best when it’s mutually beneficial. By focusing on what you can offer others rather than just what you need, you create relationships that stand the test of time.

Joe Polish’s collaboration with Richard Branson is a great example. By focusing on how he could help Branson’s charitable foundation, Polish gained not just goodwill but access to a lasting partnership. Relationships built on shared value grow stronger and yield opportunities for everyone involved.

Taking a mindset of “What’s in it for them?” turns networking into meaningful collaboration rather than a one-sided transaction.

Examples

• Joe Polish’s idea to help Branson’s charity turned into a long-term relationship.
• A sales director builds trust with clients by offering free consultations before pitching services.
• Collaborating with peers on a project often results in shared success for all contributors.

7. Delegating Frees You to Focus on Purpose

Too many people grow up believing that asking for help is weak or wrong. In reality, collaboration multiplies what you can accomplish and gives you room to pursue your deeper passions.

Attorney Karen Nance experienced this when writing her grandmother’s biography. Partnering with a historian led to a better final product and freed her to focus on her human rights work. Viewing partnerships as an opportunity to expand rather than competing for credit can change everything.

By letting go of tasks or goals you don’t need full control over, you make space for meaningful personal growth.

Examples

• Karen Nance’s biography collaboration saw better results with less stress.
• Founders who delegate routine tasks often have more time for creative thinking.
• Sharing leadership lets teams innovate while staying aligned with long-term goals.

Takeaways

1. Identify one task or project where you are stuck and ask yourself, "Who could help me with this?"
2. Adopt the 80 percent rule: focus on completing the first 80 percent of a task and leave the polishing to others.
3. Practice gratitude in your work relationships—thank your collaborators often and sincerely to strengthen partnerships.