Book cover of You Never Forget Your First by Alexis Coe

Alexis Coe

You Never Forget Your First Summary

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Is it fair to hold legends to human standards, or does mythmaking blind us to the truths we need to understand?

1. The Myths Surrounding George Washington

Our traditional stories about George Washington often prioritize creating an untouchable legend over the truth. From the infamous tale of the cherry tree to his supposedly wooden dentures, these myths cast Washington as larger than life. However, many of these stories simply aren’t accurate.

The cherry tree story, which paints Washington as a virtuous boy who proclaimed, “I cannot tell a lie,” was fabricated by his first biographer. Similarly, the dentures made of wood? A misconception. While Washington suffered from terrible dental health, his dentures were crafted from animal and human teeth—some purchased from enslaved individuals at extremely low prices.

These myths aren't just harmless embellishments; they're reflections of society's need for moral exemplars. By distilling Washington’s life into simple, unrelatable myths, we miss the opportunity to learn from his humanity—both the good and the bad.

Examples

  • His supposedly wooden dentures were patched together with real teeth.
  • The cherry tree anecdote was created decades after his death.
  • His image on the dollar bill represents a sanitized, distant version of his character.

2. Washington’s Humble Beginnings

Washington wasn’t born into fortune; he grew up in a struggling family, with financial stress shaping his worldview and relentless ambition. His father’s early death left his widowed mother to fend for the family under tough economic conditions.

To contribute, a young Washington left school prematurely and worked as a land surveyor. By eighteen, he was earning enough to support his family while purchasing land for himself. Later, the mentorship of his wealthy half-brother Lawrence exposed him to the upper class and influenced his aspirations.

Washington’s early hardships gave him an acute understanding of money and power, but also fostered an unrelenting hunger for wealth and status. This drive led him to cross boundaries that included exploiting labor from enslaved people to maintain his lifestyle.

Examples

  • After his father’s death, Washington’s family sold most of their farm to stay afloat.
  • His surveying work at a young age showcased his early independence.
  • Mentorship by his half-brother introduced him to Virginia’s elite.

3. Military Missteps and a Taste of Power

Washington's military career began with blunders, yet these failures didn’t stop his trajectory. His early roles in the Virginia militia saw him ignite international conflict by accidentally sparking the French and Indian War.

However, his commanding presence and published wartime diaries turned him into a daring figure in the public’s eye, even as his superiors in the British army dismissed his ambitions. These experiences revealed the disparity between Britain's view of colonists and Washington's frustration with the limitations placed on him.

These disappointments fueled his revolutionary spirit. Washington learned that true power wouldn’t come from aligning with the British but by leading his own people—a risky notion at the time.

Examples

  • His actions in Pennsylvania triggered fights between Britain and France.
  • His diaries turned even his missteps into tales of boldness.
  • British commanders’ dismissive attitudes fostered his resentment toward colonial subordination.

4. Marriage as a Strategic Partnership

Washington’s marriage to Martha Custis brought him tremendous wealth and status, transforming his life overnight. With that, he transitioned from a struggling veteran to one of Virginia’s wealthiest planters.

Martha’s estate was one of the largest in the colony, with thousands of acres and hundreds of enslaved workers. This allowed Washington to expand his influence as a politician and planter, though it also tied him deeper into the institution of slavery.

Although their union was practical more than romantic, the marriage worked in Washington’s favor. It reflected both his charm and his determination to elevate himself socially and financially.

Examples

  • Martha was a widow with vast landholdings and hundreds of enslaved workers.
  • Their marriage raised Washington’s standing among colonial elites.
  • Their partnership became both a personal and political strength for Washington’s ambitions.

5. Victory Through Cunning and Spying

Washington didn’t win the Revolutionary War through sheer battlefield brilliance—his victories required cunning and resourcefulness. He lost more battles than he won but relied on intelligence networks, propaganda, and strategic retreats.

Washington’s spy network used invisible ink and everyday signals (like clothes hung on lines) to communicate. These efforts helped neutralize British plans while boosting Patriot morale. Washington also mastered the art of public perception, framing the British as brutal oppressors to rally resistance.

Though undermanned and underfunded, Washington’s creative approach to war made all the difference. His willingness to outthink his enemies secured a Patriot victory against enormous odds.

Examples

  • Washington’s layout of invisible ink helped secure covert operations.
  • Stories of British cruelty were circulated as propaganda to bolster support.
  • His strategic retreat in key moments preserved his army for later wins.

6. Washington’s Reluctance to Stay in Power

After winning the war, George Washington stunned the world by stepping away from power rather than claiming it. While many feared he would become an emperor, Washington voluntarily returned to his plantation instead of turning his victory into a monarchy.

This act elevated him to hero status, even in the eyes of King George of England, who called his relinquishing of power unparalleled in history. But Washington couldn’t stay away for long. As divisions threatened the fledgling nation, he was reluctantly drawn into its politics.

Ultimately, Washington’s initial retreat helped preserve the ideal of democracy. His willingness to leave made it easier to return on terms rooted in leadership rather than coercion.

Examples

  • Washington shocked the world by resigning as commander-in-chief in 1783.
  • King George called Washington the “greatest man in the world” for this.
  • Political chaos eventually pulled him back into public life as president.

7. A Difficult Presidency

Washington’s presidency was anything but a smooth ride. Despite towering popularity, he faced bitter political rivalries within his administration. Major events—like the Jay Treaty and Whiskey Rebellion—polarized his critics and supporters alike.

Washington’s use of executive privilege during the Jay Treaty negotiations set a precedent, while his forceful response to the Whiskey Rebellion brought his leadership style into question. Though admired as a statesman, frustration began to mount over his authoritarian tendencies.

By the end of his second term, Washington chose not to seek re-election—a decision that cemented the two-term norm. He left office worn down by political conflict and eager for retirement.

Examples

  • The Jay Treaty stirred anger about his pro-British tendencies.
  • The Whiskey Rebellion tested Washington’s willingness to confront dissent.
  • Persistent divisions in his cabinet strained his image as a unifier.

8. The Moral Quandary of Slavery

Though he expressed quiet support for emancipation, Washington never acted decisively against slavery—his plantation operations depended on it. Any claim of opposition was undermined by his continued ownership of enslaved people.

In his will, Washington belatedly freed the enslaved individuals he owned. However, this act wasn’t entirely altruistic, as many of them remained enslaved on Martha’s estate. He had the wealth to free them earlier but chose not to make financial sacrifices.

This dichotomy portrayed Washington’s conflicted legacy: a revolutionary leader who fought for liberty while denying it to hundreds of lives under his control.

Examples

  • Washington’s estate depended on hundreds of enslaved laborers.
  • He delayed his decision on emancipation until his deathbed.
  • Financial choices demonstrated his reluctance to prioritize freedom over wealth.

9. Securing a Legacy

In retirement, Washington became preoccupied with his image and legacy. His daily routine at Mount Vernon—horse rides and predictable breakfasts—belied a mind preoccupied with history’s judgment.

He consistently annotated books that critiqued him, adding defensive or catty comments in the margins. While his final years were quieter, his death sparked debates about his choices, particularly regarding slavery and his later political failings.

Ultimately, Washington controlled aspects of how history would remember him, but his complexities were too deep to ignore entirely.

Examples

  • Washington’s will promised emancipation only after Martha’s death.
  • He micromanaged critiques of his presidency in real-time.
  • His routine breakfast of corncakes became a sentimental detail in his story.

Takeaways

  1. Challenge the myths you know about historical figures—exploring their flaws reveals deeper truths about their achievements.
  2. Honor leadership by examining not just the victories, but also the sacrifices and failings that shaped the journey.
  3. Reflect on how ambition can both shape and confine legacies, and consider your own priorities in life.

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