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Buy book on AmazonWhat if a tiny, illegal drug could transform your mood, sharpen your focus, and make every day a really good day?
1. Struggling with unstable moods leads to a search for answers
Ayelet Waldman spent years contending with unpredictable and overwhelming emotions. On good days, she could be cheerful and productive, but bad days meant self-loathing, anger, and spirals of guilt. These erratic emotions impacted not only her but also her relationships with family and friends. While she was a successful author, her personal battles often overshadowed her accomplishments.
Determined to manage her mood swings, Waldman tried therapy and a host of prescription medications. She explored a range of mental health treatments, including mindfulness techniques, but nothing seemed to provide lasting relief. At one point, a suicidal thought shook her, leading her to seek further medical intervention. Initially misdiagnosed with bipolar II disorder, she later discovered her mood swings were tied to premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD).
When PMDD became harder to track due to perimenopause, she found herself back at square one emotionally. Desperate for a solution, she came across psychologist James Fadiman’s work on microdosing LSD. This small-scale, experimental practice promised the possibility of a “really good day,” something Waldman craved deeply.
Examples
- Waldman’s bad days sometimes led her to pick fights with her husband and feel overwhelmed by pessimism.
- Misdiagnosis led to years of trial and error with medications like Celexa and Prozac, which caused side effects like weight gain and low libido.
- Discovering PMDD tied her mood shifts to her menstrual cycle, but perimenopause disrupted this clarity.
2. Microdosing LSD introduces a new approach to mood regulation
Microdosing involves taking very small doses of LSD—amounts far below the level needed to induce hallucinations—on a structured schedule. The idea is that such doses may subtly improve mood, focus, and overall emotional balance. Waldman decided to try this method over the course of 30 days in hopes of stabilizing her mind and improving her family dynamics.
The dosing routine follows a three-day cycle. On the first day, you take the microdose; on the next two days, you abstain but continue monitoring your mental and physical responses. A typical recreational LSD dose might be 100-150 micrograms, but microdosers use only around ten micrograms, preventing noticeable physical effects.
Though skeptical at first, Waldman proceeded carefully by acquiring the substance from a trusted source and testing its safety. With some trepidation, she took her first dose—and discovered she had what she could finally call a “really good day.”
Examples
- Waldman followed James Fadiman’s microdosing protocol, which emphasizes self-monitoring across the three-day cycle.
- An initial dose of just 10 micrograms allowed her to sense subtle shifts in mood and awareness without feeling “high.”
- She purchased a drug-testing kit online to ensure the safety and authenticity of the substance.
3. Early experiences showed mindful benefits and reduced irritability
From the very first dose, Waldman noticed changes in how she experienced the world. Her senses felt heightened, and minor irritations no longer dominated her outlook. Daily stresses seemed easier to face, and she felt significantly more loving and present with her family.
On days she skipped the dose but continued monitoring her mood, she saw a gradual return to her baseline irritability. This helped her appreciate the direct impact of the microdose days. As her tolerance grew, the calm and focus helped her manage everyday frustrations with grace. For example, she didn’t yell at her children when they ran late in the morning, and even spilled tea on her favorite book without a meltdown.
She linked these improvements to how LSD influences brain chemistry. Microdoses increase the interaction between serotonin and other neurotransmitters, potentially fostering new neural pathways and emotional perspectives.
Examples
- She felt unusually calm when her children’s mischief delayed the school run.
- Her renewed focus enabled a productive workday without procrastination.
- Scientific studies show LSD supports neuroplasticity, improving emotional resilience.
4. LSD’s safety contrasts with its controversial history
Despite common fears about LSD causing psychological damage or dangerous behavior, research indicates it is one of the safest recreational drugs. The scare stories of users leaping off buildings were urban legends. In fact, overdosing on LSD is nearly impossible, with no documented fatal cases attributed solely to the drug.
LSD faced a reputational decline in the 1960s due to its association with counterculture movements, antiwar protests, and the civil rights struggle. Politicians turned it into a scapegoat to suppress social upheaval, rather than addressing its genuine effects or potential benefits.
The myths surrounding LSD may hinder its acceptance, but modern studies suggest it can reduce depression, anxiety, and even suicidal tendencies when used responsibly.
Examples
- A 2008 review found no deaths solely from LSD overdoses, even with excessive use.
- LSD’s bad reputation grew as it became tied to youth protests against the Vietnam War.
- In clinical settings, moderate LSD use correlates with fewer suicide attempts.
5. Creativity gains and problem-solving connections
Throughout her experiment, Waldman noticed heightened focus and creative flow, similar to reports from other LSD users. Steve Jobs famously credited the drug with part of his innovative genius, while Nobel Prize winner Kary Mullis said his LSD experience shaped his scientific breakthroughs.
MRI studies confirm that LSD increases communication between unrelated regions of the brain, sparking creative thinking and problem-solving. In the career of James Fadiman, research with psychedelics led to inventions like the computer mouse when brilliant minds used LSD to tackle professional challenges.
Even Waldman’s writing process felt smoother and less hindered by procrastination during her microdosing period, boosting both her productivity and confidence.
Examples
- Steve Jobs described LSD as "one of the most important things" he ever did for his creativity.
- James Fadiman’s experiments found LSD users often solved previously intractable technical problems.
- Waldman experienced a creative breakthrough in her writing projects on microdose days.
6. America’s war on drugs creates harmful inequalities
One of the most damaging consequences of strict drug laws is disproportionately high incarceration rates among African Americans and low-income individuals. Despite evidence showing LSD to be relatively harmless, possession carries hefty legal penalties.
Historically, U.S. drug laws have often targeted marginalized communities. For example, 19th-century opium bans focused on Chinese immigrants, while 20th-century marijuana campaigns villainized Mexicans. Today, African Americans face ten times more convictions for drug offenses than white people, even though studies reveal that white Americans use drugs more frequently.
Waldman reflects on this injustice with frustration, considering how racism and outdated policies hinder any conversation about reforming drug use and research.
Examples
- African Americans are ten times more likely to be imprisoned for drugs compared to white Americans.
- In 1972, unemployment among marginalized groups drove stringent drug laws like mandatory minimums.
- Waldman’s privilege as a white, wealthy woman likely protected her from legal consequences.
7. Initial experiments show microdosing’s broad benefits
James Fadiman’s informal investigations reveal that users consistently report better emotional stability, focus, and even physical health while microdosing. Although anecdotal, his findings suggest microdosing reduces anxiety, minimizes depression, and improves relationships at home and work.
Participants in his research also noted benefits such as quitting harmful habits, including smoking or overusing marijuana. Others reported unexplained but welcome side effects, such as reduced symptoms of Parkinson’s or stuttering.
Clinical trials are now in development across Europe and Australia, which may further clarify and support these early positive results.
Examples
- A Parkinson’s patient felt less depression, despite unchanged physical symptoms.
- One participant quit smoking during their month of microdosing.
- An individual reported significant stutter reduction after following Fadiman’s protocol.
8. Microdosing showed real, but not perfect, improvements
As Waldman reached the end of her 30-day trial, both she and her family noticed tangible improvements. Her children described her as “nicer” and “happier,” even under stressful conditions, and conflicts with her husband resolved more quickly than usual.
However, Waldman occasionally experienced dizziness, and some days still brought minor irritability. Even so, the experiment provided her with what she sought—a series of unexpectedly good days.
This left her optimistic yet disheartened by the illegality of her newfound solution, especially compared to the easy availability of more harmful prescription drugs.
Examples
- Her children commented on her improved patience and reduced yelling during conflicts.
- Several days of dizziness were minor trade-offs that eventually subsided.
- Waldman still wished that legal reform would make similar treatments widely accessible.
9. Society misses out by criminalizing LSD research
Waldman concludes that widely accepted treatments like antidepressants come with significant risks, yet they’re embraced without the stigma LSD faces. She emphasizes that it’s time to reevaluate how drugs are classified, researched, and used. If stigma were removed from certain substances, they might help millions.
Her experiment could be just the tip of the iceberg, hinting at the possibilities of alternative approaches to mental health and creativity.
Examples
- Ten percent of the population regularly takes antidepressants despite frequent side effects.
- Legalizing or decriminalizing LSD could open the door to regulated, safe medical experiments.
- A 2011 survey by James Fadiman’s followers showed overwhelmingly positive outcomes for microdosers.
Takeaways
- Explore alternative approaches for mental health, such as mindfulness or neuroplasticity-focused practices, while staying informed about existing therapies.
- Advocate for policy changes that separate drug stigma from its scientific assessment to allow more research.
- Track personal habits, moods, or patterns to recognize and better address emotional triggers or cycles.