Book cover of Be Seen by Jen Gottlieb

Jen Gottlieb

Be Seen

Reading time icon13 min readRating icon4.4 (231 ratings)

What does it take to truly stand out in today's crowded digital landscape? The answer lies in conquering fear, embracing visibility, and confidently building a personal brand that speaks to your authentic self.

1. Fear Is a Passenger, Not the Driver

Fear often sneaks into the decision-making process, holding us back from pursuing our goals. Social media amplifies this by fostering issues like the fear of missing out (FOMO), imposter syndrome, and “comparisonitis” – the constant evaluation of oneself against others. These fears can lead to procrastination, indecision, or focusing more on pleasing others than on personal growth.

Acknowledging fear is the first step to controlling it. While it’s a natural response, fear doesn’t need to drive your actions. Instead, view it as a passenger that offers opportunities for self-reflection and growth. Successful individuals don’t wait for fear to disappear; they embrace it, using it as a tool to take risks and learn from challenges.

Building self-confidence goes hand in hand with managing fear. It’s not about being fearless but about acting even when doubt lingers. The Confidence Continuum – focusing on clarity, community, and consistent effort – can help transform thoughts into actions, reinforcing the belief in your abilities and ensuring progress despite fear.

Examples

  • Recognizing that imposter syndrome is a common feeling helps individuals take the first step in silencing internal doubts.
  • Adopting the rule of 51 percent reminds us that believing in ourselves just over half the time is enough to take action.
  • Tools like listening to motivational music or recalling personal achievements provide quick boosts of confidence.

2. Visualization: Meet "You 2.0"

To achieve the life you envision, you must first imagine it vividly. "You 2.0" represents the best version of yourself, brought to life by aligning your actions with your true goals and intentions. Visualization, the mental practice of picturing success, engages your subconscious to work toward what feels real.

Your brain doesn’t differentiate between imagined and actual experiences. By envisioning specific aspirations, such as presenting confidently in meetings or growing a business, you prepare your mind for success. This process is strengthened through affirmations — positive declarations that align with your goals.

Taking consistent actions bridges the gap between your vision and reality. Motivation often fades, but discipline and recognizing small victories keep progress steady. Each milestone reached lays the foundation for your next goal, creating a cycle of achievement.

Examples

  • Athletes often visualize winning games or achieving personal records to prepare for top-notch performance.
  • Entrepreneurs might repeatedly affirm their business goals, reinforcing their belief in success.
  • Celebrating personal achievements like finishing a project fosters gratitude and encourages continued growth.

3. The Strength in Asking for Help

Asking for help is a sign of courage, not weakness. Many struggle with seeking assistance due to the misconception that it reflects inadequacy. However, reaching out is crucial for building connections and uncovering new opportunities.

The "top 20 tool" helps identify and prioritize people in your network who can guide you. Start by listing potential contacts, rank them based on their ability and willingness to aid you, and then engage with those most likely to offer support. This approach ensures intentional and strategic networking.

By offering value to others first, you create a foundation of trust. Whether it’s sharing expertise, connections, or encouragement, collaboration becomes mutually beneficial. Reciprocity enriches relationships, often leading to unexpected opportunities and growth.

Examples

  • Reaching out to a former colleague for career advice might open doors to new opportunities.
  • Sharing helpful resources with a peer can lead to future partnerships.
  • Networking events provide platforms to meet like-minded individuals and exchange support.

4. Visibility: A Responsibility, Not a Risk

The fear of visibility often stems from worries about judgment or coming across as boastful. Yet embracing visibility is about sharing your unique skills and knowledge to serve others. It’s a responsibility to contribute value, not just a personal ambition.

Dr. Norah, a psychologist, overcame her imposter syndrome by focusing on the people she could help. Her willingness to step into the spotlight allowed her expertise to reach those in need, showing that visibility is less about self-promotion and more about making an impact.

The H.O.P.E. (Help One Person Every day) strategy reframes visibility as manageable. The goal isn’t to reach millions overnight but to start with one individual at a time. This approach eases anxiety and emphasizes meaningful action.

Examples

  • A chef who shares recipes online helps individuals improve their cooking skills.
  • Posting a tutorial video on social media can connect with someone struggling with the same issue.
  • Public speaking engagements inspire or educate attendees, fulfilling a greater purpose.

5. CIA: Building a Strong Personal Brand

Credibility, Influence, and Authority (CIA) are the three pillars of a compelling personal brand. Together, they establish trust, amplify reach, and position you as a leader in your field, giving your online presence a competitive edge.

Credibility is built through external validation. Appearing in reputable media or receiving recognition from trusted sources enhances your reputation as an expert. Influence involves partnering with others’ audiences, using platforms that already have a following to expand your own reach. Authority cements your position as a trusted voice, encouraging people to seek your insights.

Crafting engaging, valuable content plays a key role in building CIA. Relatable stories, useful tips, and calls to action foster connections. Repurposing successful content keeps your message fresh and broadens your audience's reach.

Examples

  • Being featured in a popular industry magazine adds credibility to your profile.
  • Collaborating with an influencer introduces your content to a broader audience.
  • Sharing authentic stories about overcoming challenges helps connect with followers.

6. Confidence Requires Consistency

Confidence isn’t an unchanging quality but something that grows with continuous effort. It flourishes through small, regular actions that align with your aspirations.

Developing confidence involves setting attainable goals, tackling them step by step. Over time, these successes reinforce your belief in your ability to handle challenges. The act of showing up daily, even in small ways, builds noticeable momentum.

Still, setbacks are inevitable. Resilience, the ability to bounce back despite difficulties, becomes key to maintaining confidence. Recognizing that stumbling is part of the growth process keeps you motivated.

Examples

  • Starting a daily journaling habit might increase clarity and self-awareness.
  • Taking a course to improve skills gradually builds belief in your abilities.
  • Rebounding from a failed project teaches that persistence leads to long-term gains.

7. Networking Is Collaboration, Not Transaction

Networking means building genuine, mutually beneficial relationships. Shifting away from “What can I get?” to “How can I contribute?” strengthens your bond with others and attracts reciprocal support.

Approaching networking with curiosity and authenticity eases discomfort. Setting personal goals, such as meeting three new people per event, makes the process manageable. Following up demonstrates sincerity and helps relationships flourish.

Stronger networks often lead to growth because you’re surrounded by people who inspire, challenge, and push you toward success. Intentional networking emphasizes quality over quantity, ensuring impactful connections.

Examples

  • Attending a conference might lead to finding a mentor or collaborator.
  • Following up with a LinkedIn contact could lead to joint projects.
  • Joining a small group of peers ensures deeper engagement and shared success.

8. Learn to Share Before You’re Ready

Perfectionism often delays progress, but sharing your journey—flaws and all—builds authenticity. People connect with those who are real, not with an impossible ideal.

Creating authentic content involves sharing lessons, stories, and even failures. This approach builds trust, showing that you’re approachable and relatable. It also establishes a unique voice that sets you apart.

Consistency matters more than perfection. Regularly showing up for your audience communicates commitment, which builds loyalty over time.

Examples

  • Posting a behind-the-scenes story on a business launch humanizes the project.
  • Sharing personal challenges resonates with audiences facing similar struggles.
  • Hosting a weekly podcast fosters consistent engagement.

9. Gratitude and Celebration Drive Momentum

Recognizing and celebrating achievements, big or small, reinforces motivation. Gratitude creates a positive feedback loop, making future goals feel attainable.

Celebrating helps you pause to acknowledge progress, rather than constantly chasing the next milestone. Sharing these moments strengthens connections with others who support you.

Practicing gratitude shifts the focus from what’s lacking to what’s gained, creating a more fulfilling journey no matter the destination.

Examples

  • Writing down three things you’re thankful for each day boosts morale.
  • Thanking a mentor or supporter strengthens bonds and encourages collaboration.
  • Sharing a milestone on social media engages and inspires followers.

Takeaways

  1. Start visualizing the person you want to become and take small, deliberate steps toward making that vision a reality every day.
  2. Build a network by offering genuine value first, and don’t hesitate to reach out for help when you need it.
  3. Post authentically and consistently—trust grows not through perfection, but through showing up and sharing your growth.

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