Beyond Getting By

Is financial stability about relentless saving, or is it about aligning your money with your values and joy?

1. Shame-Free Money Management

Many financial strategies focus on deprivation, urging people to forgo all comforts to meet strict budgets. However, this leads to burnout and frustration rather than success. Instead of feeling ashamed for spending on yourself, it’s better to practice compassionate budgeting.

• Constant deprivation causes overspending on impulse items and an eventual lapse in financial planning. Instead, treating occasional indulgences as part of the plan helps maintain balance.
• The 50/30/20 rule is an effective budgeting method, allocating 50% of income to needs, 30% to wants, and 20% to long-term goals. This can be adjusted based on individual circumstances.
• Framing financial planning using the concepts of ego (needs), superego (goals), and id (wants) allows for a mindful approach where joy is not sacrificed.

Examples

• Someone who removes all recreational spending might overspend later on unnecessary luxuries.
• The 50/30/20 approach could shift for a single parent who needs 70% of their budget for essentials.
• Balanced budgeting permits a family night out monthly, even while they save for retirement.

2. Rethinking Budget Advice

Traditional budgeting advice often assumes a level of privilege and doesn’t work for everyone. Suggestions like moving to a cheaper area or cutting luxuries may be out of reach for many people.

• Cutting back further isn’t feasible for someone earning a bare minimum, so financial stability may require finding new income sources or adjusting perceptions.
• Studies on a “happiness threshold” reveal that beyond a certain income, more money does not equate to greater happiness, emphasizing that building meaningful relationships and autonomy matter more.
• Aligning spending with values, rather than striving endlessly for more income, leads to greater satisfaction and security.

Examples

• A college student working two jobs lacks the means to “cut back” any further.
• Research indicates that someone earning enough to live comfortably experiences less benefit from additional income than someone below that threshold.
• Saving to work fewer hours and spend more time with family can have a bigger impact than a minor pay raise.

3. Cheapness versus Frugality

While it’s tempting to save by choosing cheaper options, excessive bargain hunting can sometimes cost more in the long run. Distinguishing between frugality and harmful cheapness is essential.

• Buying low-quality products often means higher replacement costs and greater environmental waste.
• Skimping on tips or paying less for services undervalues workers and harms their livelihoods.
• Oversaving for the future at the expense of current joy can lead to missed opportunities for meaningful experiences.

Examples

• Someone repeatedly buys inexpensive, poorly-made shoes but ends up spending more over time than they would on durable ones.
• A friend constantly avoids paying their fair share during group meals, causing resentment and damaging social ties.
• Saving years for a retirement activity while missing out on simpler, joy-filled moments along the way.

4. Finding Financial Balance

Balancing savings goals with the things that bring emotional fulfillment is a practical, life-enhancing financial strategy. Cutting everything out in the name of thrift creates an unmet emotional void.

• The “both/and” approach allows people to save for their goals while still allowing for discretionary spending on the things they love.
• Redirecting spending to reflect personal and family values leads to a sense of abundance, rather than focusing on limits.
• Prioritizing mindful purchases means choosing what adds value to life, instead of giving in to trends or advertisements.

Examples

• A family prioritizes saving for vacations together, rather than spending largely on material goods.
• Someone downsizes their wardrobe and invests in fewer, quality clothing pieces that they truly enjoy.
• Mindful spending could involve shifting from fast fashion to eco-friendly brands aligned with one’s ethics.

5. The Role of Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome frequently affects financial and career growth, making people feel like they don’t deserve higher pay or better positions.

• Clance and Imes’ research shows that self-doubt affects many high achievers, especially women and underserved groups, leading them to undervalue themselves in negotiations.
• Understanding that external factors, like privilege, often play a large role in success helps counter these inner doubts.
• Creating proof of your achievements through a career journal builds confidence in advocating for better compensation and seeing your own worth.

Examples

• A young professional keeps a journal documenting wins at work, boosting her confidence in asking for a pay raise during her performance review.
• Someone leaves a toxic workplace where systemic barriers make them work twice as hard without fair returns.
• Learning negotiation skills helps a freelancer confidently increase their rates to reflect their value.

6. The Power of Advocacy

Workplace advocacy allows individuals to aim for better conditions alongside better pay, ensuring their success benefits everyone involved.

• Managers should create positive, supportive environments by recognizing contributions and promoting fair compensation.
• Joining or starting unions strengthens collective bargaining power, improving wages and conditions for all employees.
• Fair hiring and managing practices reduce inequalities perpetuated by systemic privilege and unpaid labor.

Examples

• A worker negotiates for flexible hours, resulting in higher productivity and well-being.
• Unionized employees secure better benefits like healthcare and equitable wages.
• A company offering paid internships ensures opportunities for those without external financial support.

7. The Risks of Extreme Work Ethics

A relentless drive for financial success often promotes toxic workplace environments. True success means aligning your career with your values and well-being.

• Public figures like the Kardashians glorify extreme hustle, but these ideals often come packaged with unacknowledged privilege.
• Media icons sometimes perpetuate unattainable appearances, fueling personal dissatisfaction and overworking.
• Defining success for yourself, rather than adhering to societal standards, prevents burnout.

Examples

• Someone striving to keep up with the “self-made” image of influencers experiences financial and mental strain.
• Employees in a demanding workplace begin to reevaluate their priorities after seeing long-term health risks of overworking.
• Choosing a lower-paying but passion-aligned job increases life satisfaction overall.

8. Slow Progress is Valuable

True financial growth is a gradual process, requiring small, consistent steps rather than drastic changes or overnight successes.

• Breaking habits like overspending or undervaluing oneself takes patience and persistence.
• Sinking funds for specific goals encourage saving without significant lifestyle compromises.
• Monitoring progress lets you celebrate minor accomplishments, which sustains motivation.

Examples

• Someone begins saving $10 weekly for a vacation they’ve always dreamed of and watches their fund grow steadily.
• A couple sets monthly check-ins to align on spending goals, keeping their relationship strong.
• Small raises over a career eventually add up due to the effects of compounding.

9. Redefining Success

Success is about creating a life that feels fulfilling, not one defined solely by numbers in a bank account or job title.

• Prioritize time and resources that support your relationships, health, and passions over material wealth.
• Recognize how traditional notions of success often exclude emotional needs and human connection.
• Reframe by letting go of “more is better” attitudes to focus on what matters most.

Examples

• A professional scales back their hours to spend more time with their children and notices a profound increase in happiness.
• Taking a step back from societal competition allows someone to enjoy simple joys, like time outdoors.
• Eliminating hustle culture from personal goals ensures long-term physical and emotional health.

Takeaways

1. Practice mindful budgeting by checking whether your spending prioritizes your true needs and values over societal expectations.
2. Build your confidence through action: track your work achievements or spend within your values while letting go of unnecessary guilt.
3. Regularly evaluate what success means to you, ensuring you focus your energy on fulfillment rather than just financial milestones.