Bringing Up the Boss Summary

What makes a great manager isn't knowing all the answers—it's being willing to learn, to listen, and to grow.

1. Setting Clear Expectations Is Key

Good management begins with clarity—making sure each team member knows exactly what’s expected of them. This involves defining objectives, setting quality standards, and agreeing on deadlines. Simply assigning tasks without proper direction often leads to miscommunication and inefficiency.

Managers must strike a balance between giving direction and allowing autonomy. Micromanaging stifles creativity, while being too hands-off can leave employees feeling unsupported. Clarity ties efforts to broader organizational goals, helping to keep everyone aligned on what really matters.

When employees understand their responsibilities and boundaries, it increases their confidence and accountability. They’re less likely to second-guess themselves, and this clarity leads to smooth workflows and fewer misunderstandings.

Examples

• A manager clearly outlines a project scope, ensuring the team knows what the end product should look like.
• Assigning weekly check-ins allows employees to address misunderstandings early.
• Setting mutual expectations through role descriptions reduces performance anxiety and misunderstandings.

2. Delivering Constructive Feedback Changes Everything

Feedback isn’t just about identifying problems; it’s about helping employees grow. Timely, specific, and actionable feedback ensures team members stay on track and feel acknowledged for their contributions. This process requires a balance of empathy and honesty.

When feedback is delivered effectively, it fosters a culture of growth and continuous improvement. Constructive input can transform performance and build stronger relationships between the manager and the team. Asking employees to provide feedback to you, the manager, also strengthens communication.

Though difficult at times, feedback sessions are opportunities to uncover misunderstandings or challenges that may otherwise remain hidden. A direct and thoughtful approach creates trust and openness in the organization—key ingredients for long-term success.

Examples

• After an underwhelming project presentation, rather than criticizing, the manager suggests ways to structure future presentations for clarity.
• Offering praise for specific achievements (e.g., “great presentation layout”) alongside criticism motivates employees to improve.
• Asking employees, “How can I better support you?” gets valuable feedback from them too.

3. Motivation Looks Different for Everyone

Managing motivation requires understanding the unique drivers behind each team member. For some, it’s about achieving goals, while others may value collaboration or crave positions of leadership and recognition.

Managers who adapt their approach to these differences have more successful and engaged teams. They set meaningful challenges for high achievers, involve collaborative workers in team efforts, and give leadership opportunities to those who thrive on influence. It’s about finding what fuels each person’s fire.

Goals and compensation—even promotions—can motivate, but they must be handled carefully. Goals should challenge but not overwhelm. Fairness in pay and recognition is valued more than arbitrary bonuses. Promotions work well when they signal true growth in responsibilities.

Examples

• Assigning challenging projects to ambitious employees who thrive on personal achievements.
• Offering team-oriented tasks to staff who enjoy collaborating and contributing collectively.
• Using fair salary structures to inspire trust and prevent misunderstanding.

4. Find Small Purposes to Discover Big Meaning

Work isn’t fulfilling when it’s just about tasks; it’s meaningful when rooted in personal values and deeper purpose. Helping team members find purpose in their daily work can improve satisfaction and performance.

Small-m meanings are about the immediate value of work—the role their tasks play in a bigger picture. Big-M Meaning stems from understanding how a job fits into a career or life purpose. Managers should deliberately design tasks to offer both kinds of purpose.

Engaging employees in job-crafting—reshaping their roles to match skills and values—empowers them to connect their roles with personal goals. Even a mundane task can become valuable when it aligns with someone’s sense of contribution.

Examples

• Assigning roles with clear ties to the organization’s mission (e.g., "This project helps serve our customers better").
• Encouraging employees to propose adjustments to their tasks for better alignment.
• Offering autonomy to let employees implement their own solutions, increasing ownership.

5. Building a Cohesive Team Is More Than Just Hiring

Creating a strong team starts by hiring well. But it doesn’t stop there—onboarding, transitions, and even managing exits need just as much attention. Every decision you make impacts group morale and dynamics.

Hiring should be based on both competence and cultural fit. Candidates who align with the team’s ethos integrate more effectively. But even with a sound hire, onboarding processes should reinforce shared goals and values from day one.

When conflicts arise—and they will—it’s important to address them constructively. Staff departures, whether voluntary or otherwise, also require thoughtful handling to ensure morale remains intact and the exiting employee feels respected.

Examples

• Using structured interviews with clear criteria to minimize bias when hiring.
• Conducting thorough onboarding sessions to familiarize new employees with team culture.
• Addressing team conflicts quickly with facilitated conversations to rebuild trust.

6. Coaching Empowers Your Team

Being a coach means prioritizing questions over answers. Instead of dictating solutions, guide your team members to find their own. This develops stronger problem-solving skills and helps individuals take ownership of their roles.

A coaching approach creates trust and builds confidence. Employees feel supported without being micromanaged, and they grow to rely more on their instincts. It’s less about telling people what to do and more about guiding them toward their best thinking.

Asking open-ended questions, leaving room for silence, and listening deeply are strategies for successful coaching. Engaged coaching sets the stage for long-term development and trust.

Examples

• A manager asks, “What steps could you take to tackle this challenge?” instead of providing a solution.
• Silence during coaching discussions lets employees reflect before responding.
• Reflecting back, “So what I hear you saying is …” ensures accurate understanding.

7. Managing Upward Demands Intention

Your relationship with your boss matters as much as how you manage your team. Proactively understanding and adapting to your manager's style enables smoother communication and better collaboration.

Effective upward management means clearly expressing needs while aligning with your boss’s priorities. A respectful but assertive approach allows for open conversations about expectations and shared goals.

By managing upward well, you create meaningful support for your own team. When your leadership aligns with upper management, it creates harmony across all levels.

Examples

• Creating notes with bullet points to share key team accomplishments in regular updates to your boss.
• Proactively scheduling 1:1 discussions about expectations for your role.
• Learning about your manager's preferences for receiving updates or problem-solving.

8. Mistakes Build Stronger Leaders

All managers will make mistakes, and those errors are invaluable learning opportunities. It’s less about avoiding blunders and more about reflecting on them to improve your approach.

Keeping a journal of both achievements and struggles can inform better decisions in the future. Every challenge—whether a bad hire or a failed project—is a step toward stronger leadership.

Accepting vulnerability shows your team you’re human, which builds trust and openness. Being transparent about your learning process encourages your team to do the same.

Examples

• Logging daily reflections in a “never-again” journal to remember lessons learned.
• Sharing with your team, “Here’s what I learned from that project misstep.”
• Recognizing early on where things went wrong and implementing changes right away.

9. Leadership Means Managing Yourself First

Self-awareness is critical when leading others. Recognizing how you’re perceived can shape your interactions and decisions. Managing your own emotions is fundamental to maintaining a productive environment.

Balancing confidence with vulnerability ensures effective team communication. Emphasizing strength when representing your team builds confidence in your leadership, but showing vulnerability fosters connection and humility.

Reflecting on your career is an ongoing process. Evaluate where your current role aligns with your future goals and be ready to evolve when necessary. You can’t lead others well if you’re out of alignment with your personal aspirations.

Examples

• Practicing mindfulness exercises to stay self-aware during stressful team conflicts.
• Admitting mistakes to your team alongside actionable plans for improvement.
• Setting biannual self-reviews to assess your growth as a manager and consider career goals.

Takeaways

1. Start asking open-ended questions to coach your team members instead of dictating solutions.
2. Keep a “never-again” journal to detail lessons learned and prevent repeat mistakes.
3. Regularly check in with your team to align their work with their sources of motivation and fulfillment.