Choose Yourself

“Reclaim your power: Don't wait for someone else to decide your future. Choose yourself.”

1. The Decline of the American Dream

For decades, the American Dream—education, a steady job, and homeownership—was a roadmap for success. This promise stemmed from a growing post-WWII workforce, with men and women both contributing to households. Families enjoyed disposable income and lived in ways their parents only dreamed of.

But this vision was built on a model that depended on continuous economic growth and consumerism, where success was measured by material possessions. By the 2008 financial crisis, the cracks finally became undeniable. Stable, middle-class jobs faded as companies outsourced, automated, and shifted to gig and temporary employment.

This collapse of the old system left millions overqualified and underpaid. While disheartening, James Altucher argues this seismic shift offers an opportunity to embrace a world where people forge their own paths and pursue genuine happiness over societal expectations.

Examples

• Families in the 1950s were using disposable income to buy cars and television sets.
• The financial crisis displaced millions of stable middle-class workers.
• Automation and outsourcing eliminated countless steady jobs globally.

2. Welcome to the “Choose Yourself” Era

Yesterday’s world demanded validation from authority figures. Whether from bosses, publishers, or studio executives, you needed someone else’s approval to succeed. This reliance often reduced individuals to passive participants in a game ruled by others.

Today, the paradigm has shifted. With the internet and affordable technology, everyone has tools to create their brand, business, or art. Instead of waiting for a green light from others, you have the power—and responsibility—to “choose yourself.”

Altucher argues this frees people from the hollow pursuit of wealth for its own sake. In this new era, success stems from doing meaningful work on your terms, which often aligns better with genuine happiness.

Examples

• Budding authors can now self-publish books through platforms like Amazon.
• Entrepreneurs can bypass costly storefronts by selling directly online.
• Youtube allows creators to bypass traditional media distribution channels entirely.

3. Overcoming the Fear of Rejection

The fear of rejection paralyzes many, leaving them waiting for opportunities instead of creating them. This fear often stems from the belief that others are more competent or hold the key to success. As Altucher recounts, this mindset leads to missed chances and heartbreak.

For instance, when he developed a TV project, he relied on a single executive to greenlight his idea. The rejection crushed him, proving the risk of handing control of your dreams to someone else. Empowering yourself means taking risks, even if it means failing more frequently.

For real change, you must challenge the fear head-on. As Yale professor Stanley Milgram's subway experiment revealed, most people will comply if asked—suggesting that fear often exists only in our minds.

Examples

• Asking subway riders for their seats, Milgram saw 70% complied.
• Altucher’s TV project failed because he depended on external validation.
• Fear often stops people from simple acts like initiating conversations in public.

4. Care for Yourself to Succeed

Building a life where you choose yourself requires daily self-care. Altucher introduces the idea of four “bodies”—physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. All four must work together to help you perform under pressure.

Physical health anchors everything. Simple habits like sleeping seven to nine hours, eating balanced meals, and getting regular exercise help sustain your energy. Your mental health also needs nurturing. Train your brain to focus on productive tasks, such as brainstorming ten ideas daily, instead of dwelling on worries.

Caring for these two bodies builds the stamina required for tackling rejection and achieving independence.

Examples

• Regular sleep boosts decision-making and emotional regulation.
• Writing ten ideas daily strengthens creative problem-solving.
• Simple exercise keeps stress levels manageable and spirits high.

5. Nurture Emotional and Spiritual Resilience

To thrive, you must also nurture positive emotions and live fully in the present moment. Negative relationships drain energy and prevent progress. Altucher recommends gradually distancing yourself from toxic people, while simultaneously embracing kindness.

Your spiritual side helps you stay present. By focusing on the here and now, you reduce burnout caused by regrets or anxieties. Even small exercises, like attentively observing surroundings, reprogram your brain to prioritize the present over unnecessary stress.

Examples

• Cutting ties with toxic friends improves emotional well-being.
• Acknowledging only this moment reduces anxiety rooted in “what ifs.”
• Looking at architectural details helps ground you in the present.

6. Build Habits to Sustain Progress

Big changes rely on small, consistent daily habits. Altucher emphasizes that transformational success doesn't start with changing your job or circumstances—it starts with your mindset and daily routines. Simple habits like avoiding junk food, meditating regularly, or expressing gratitude set the tone for lasting progress.

Helping others is another highly rewarding practice. Giving releases oxytocin, a hormone that reduces stress and increases feelings of connection. Even small gestures like giving a compliment or showing gratitude create a positive cycle that benefits both you and others.

Examples

• Avoiding junk food keeps energy levels stable and mental clarity sharp.
• Random acts of kindness boost oxytocin, enhancing emotional health.
• The author gave chocolate to struggling traders during the 2008 crisis to uplift spirits.

7. Searching for Life’s Purpose Isn’t Necessary

The endless pursuit of purpose leads many to overwhelm and, at times, despair. Altucher warns that the pressure to define your life by one overarching mission can do more harm than good. Many successful people, like Colonel Sanders or Peter Roget, found purpose late in life.

When the pressure builds, people may fantasize about starting over through “pseudocide,” or disappearing completely. Instead of making drastic changes, Altucher advocates for meditative exercises to reset and release mental baggage.

Examples

• Peter Roget published Roget’s Thesaurus after retiring at 70.
• Colonel Sanders started franchising KFC at age 65—long after “expected” success.
• Meditating on the concept of homelessness can release the burden of expectations.

8. Cut Out the Middleman

In this new era of empowerment, work directly with your audience or clients instead of relying on intermediaries. Entrepreneur Bryan Johnson left his job at a credit card company to start his own business. By cutting out his employer as the middleman, he built a successful multimillion-dollar company.

Altucher also reminds readers to think strategically about gains. His own example: accepting low-paying gigs with prestigious companies gave long-term value. Those partnerships built his reputation and attracted elite talent to his company.

Examples

• Bryan Johnson scaled his startup, Braintree, into a multimillion-dollar venture.
• Altucher’s work with New Line Cinema boosted his company’s profile.
• Selling directly to customers gains more profit and control for creators.

9. Honesty Is the Ultimate Business Strategy

In this era, honesty is vital. Dishonesty may generate quick returns but destroys trust over time. Bernie Madoff’s infamous scheme exemplifies the long-term consequences of deceit. Compare this to ethical entrepreneurs whose integrity builds lasting networks and opportunities.

Transparency compounds benefits. People trust and recommend trustworthy individuals, and that creates opportunities even when facing setbacks. Altucher urges readers to build honesty through habits like avoiding gossip and managing anger to stop self-deception.

Examples

• Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme lost him not just money, but any public trust.
• Transparent companies often attract loyal customers and long-term investors.
• Staying calm in conflict reinforces decisions grounded in fairness.

Takeaways

1. Each day, generate ideas to stretch your creativity and lessen unproductive worries. Consistency makes this more natural over time.
2. Gradually distance yourself from negative individuals while showing kindness, increasing energy for productive connections.
3. Focus on honest, meaningful work that aligns with your values for more sustainable and fulfilling success.