Elevate

“Ask yourself the right questions, seek meaningful connections, and structure your life to achieve satisfaction and success.”

1. Ask the Questions That Lead to Solutions

Great solutions often start with asking thoughtful questions. This approach helps you identify your desires and map out a way to achieve them. Instead of focusing on the negatives, you shift your mindset toward solutions.

When faced with winter depression, the author asked himself why he enjoyed Thanksgiving and how to recreate that joy throughout November. He realized that spending time with loved ones was key, so he planned social gatherings to enjoy the season. By asking purposeful questions, he turned a dreary time into something he could look forward to.

Children instinctively want things, but they lack the framework to think about how to achieve them. The author taught his son Matt a method of asking how he could earn rewards, which encouraged problem-solving and initiative. This mindset helped Matt understand that his actions could lead to fulfilling his desires, such as earning video games through household chores.

Examples

• The author overcame seasonal depression by asking actionable questions.
• Teaching children to ask "How can I earn it?" fosters a productive mindset.
• Reflecting on holidays helped identify pathways to joy.

2. Listening Unlocks Learning

Good listening is a skill that helps you improve and gather valuable knowledge. It creates strong connections and opens you to feedback that can refine your ideas or behavior.

At a feedback seminar, a participant struggled to accept critical comments and erupted in frustration. Ironically, this confirmed the critique of their inability to handle feedback constructively. This situation demonstrated how not listening stunts growth.

True listening takes conscious effort. It involves fully focusing on what others say without distractions. Engaging with opinions with an open mind allows you to learn new perspectives that enrich your understanding and relationships.

Examples

• The feedback seminar participant highlighted the pitfalls of ignoring feedback.
• Active listening helps build personal and professional connections.
• Shifting attention back when distracted ensures communication is meaningful.

3. Shift Your Mindset with Positive Programming

The way you think and speak about yourself shapes your reality. Negative self-talk creates self-fulfilling prophecies, while positive affirmations pave the way for success.

The author taught his son Matt to think of himself as an excellent sleeper, reinforcing confidence in sleep. This positive “programming” shaped Matt’s identity, proving the power of language in altering mindset.

Feeling low? Try standing upright, brightening the room, and smiling to change your mood. Thoughts and physical behavior influence emotions, transforming negative energy into positive.

Examples

• Positive affirmations helped Matt become confident in his ability to sleep.
• Slumping and focusing on bad memories worsens mood; standing tall reverses it.
• Thinking constructively about challenges can empower successful outcomes.

4. Motivation Needs Positive and Timely Rewards

Motivation works best when rewards are timely, certain, and uplifting. Negative reinforcement often backfires by discouraging effort and deceiving people about their progress.

Reward-driven strategies are more effective. A boss who acknowledges employees’ achievements immediately fosters a supportive environment that enhances performance. Similarly, self-rewarding, such as enjoying spa days as a milestone for weight loss, keeps goals achievable and enjoyable.

To sustain motivation, avoid delays or uncertain rewards. Consistent, reliable feedback encourages steady progress toward goals.

Examples

• Immediate recognition of good work boosts employee output.
• Linking diet milestones to small rewards makes tough tasks easier.
• Uncertain rewards diminish enthusiasm and willingness to strive.

5. Use Structures to Conserve Energy and Avoid Errors

Routines and systems allow you to operate more efficiently and reduce mistakes. They also conserve mental energy when facing routine or crisis situations.

Pilots use checklists to ensure safety, drastically reducing flight accidents. Similarly, medical professionals rely on structured procedures, preventing errors and saving lives.

Nature offers wisdom here—organisms expend as little energy as possible while meeting essential needs. Similarly, balancing effort and recovery in daily tasks prevents burn-out.

Examples

• Pilots’ checklists minimize life-threatening risks.
• Structures in hospital workflows improve patient care.
• Efficient use of effort avoids wasted time and energy depletion.

6. Power Naps Enhance Focus but Don’t Replace Sleep

Rest is vital for both mental and physical performance. While power naps can provide a quick cognitive reset, they cannot replace long, rejuvenating sleep.

Figures like Thomas Edison and Leonardo da Vinci embraced power naps, taking advantage of their rapid impact on cognitive functions without falling into grogginess. Short naps replenish energy and optimize brain functions without the baggage of deep sleep inertia.

For deeper sleep troubles, avoid medication when possible. Combining regular exercise and natural remedies offers a sustainable way to address insomnia effectively.

Examples

• Thomas Edison and others benefited significantly from power naps.
• Naps of 20-30 minutes boost productivity without causing grogginess.
• Chinese medicine-inspired remedies may restore better sleep patterns.

7. Commit Energy Early to Build Lasting Momentum

Starting new ventures requires an upfront burst of energy to overcome inertia. Fully committing at the beginning sets the foundation for lasting success.

Using the author’s ski example, an inconsistent effort led to insufficient progress, causing frustration. By contrast, committing to a 30-day yoga challenge kept him disciplined, integrating yoga as a lifelong habit.

Tracking time usage highlights hidden pockets of opportunity. Logging activities can reveal wasteful habits such as excessive TV watching, leaving room to refocus on meaningful pursuits.

Examples

• The author’s 30-day yoga challenge built consistency.
• Casual efforts at skiing faltered due to lack of continuity.
• Tracking activities uncovers wasted time to redirect to personal goals.

8. Love and Connection Transform Lives

Love makes life richer. Building affectionate relationships and embracing touch fosters happiness and emotional health.

Puppy-like enthusiasm is a perfect metaphor for building new connections. Being playful and genuine when meeting others creates openness and warmth. Additionally, children’s abundant love teaches the value of unconditional affection.

Touch is another dimension of love. Hugging builds bonds, and in romantic partnerships, tenderness deepens physical and emotional intimacy.

Examples

• Spending time with loving people lifts spirits.
• Children model the power of love and acceptance.
• Regular hugs and touch significantly improve emotional well-being.

9. Your Thoughts and Routines Define Success

Life isn’t just about coasting through—it’s about evolving toward fulfillment. Successful living requires clarity, structure, and balance in how you think and use your time.

Recognize unproductive habits through reflection and use questions to clarify where you want to grow. Reframing negative narratives allows you to replace them with empowering beliefs.

The right structures, enriched by love and positive thinking, integrate balance, purpose, and joy, leading to a meaningful life.

Examples

• Using effective structures, like checklists, reduces errors.
• Positive affirmations encourage healthier self-images.
• Meaningful connections amplify joy and overall well-being.

Takeaways

1. Reflect and identify where you feel stuck; ask solution-focused questions to remove obstacles.
2. Commit fully to new activities early to build momentum and overcome resistance.
3. Prioritize building stronger, loving connections by spending time with positive influences and embracing physical touch.