Getting to Neutral

Neutral thinking isn't about what could have been or what should be; it's about what is, and where to go next.

1. The Limitations of Positive and Negative Thinking

Positive thinking may seem like a strong mental strategy, but it can backfire when outcomes don’t align with optimistic expectations. Similarly, negative thinking leads to fear and hopelessness, affecting decisions and mental health.

Positive thinking often sets unrealistic expectations. For example, an athlete might believe they'll win simply because they want to, without focusing on preparation. When success doesn't come easily, the result is likely frustration and self-doubt.

Negative thinking can paralyze progress. During the early days of COVID-19, many people spiraled into fear, overwhelmed by bad news about rising infection rates and fatalities, ignoring potential solutions like vaccines.

Neutral thinking offers a middle ground, using facts rather than emotions to make decisions. This approach involves analyzing past outcomes to guide future actions, while maintaining emotional balance.

Examples

• People fixating on bad news during the pandemic struggled to see progress, like vaccine breakthroughs.
• A student who assumes they'll ace an exam without studying may end up demoralized by a poor grade.
• Athletes who prepare through both analysis and hard work—rather than blind optimism—perform better.

2. Living in Neutral Isn’t Emotional Detachment

Neutral thinking doesn't mean suppressing emotions. Instead, it means using rationality in decision-making while allowing emotions their place in other areas of life.

In neutral thinking, emotions are gathered and acknowledged but aren’t allowed to dictate decisions. This is useful in crises where focusing on what to do next, instead of the emotional toll of the situation, can lead to better outcomes.

For example, the author processed his personal emotional challenges with cancer but chose to avoid drowning in fear or false hope. Decision-making was rooted in facts: what treatment was next, and how best to prepare.

Living neutrally doesn’t reduce passion; it channels it. Someone can emotionally grieve but still think clearly about practical steps, harmonizing feelings and actions for the best possible outcomes.

Examples

• Trevor Moawad prioritized facts about his treatment over emotions of fear or panic.
• A public speaker balances nerves by focusing on preparation rather than emotions.
• Instead of denying sadness over a loss, a person uses those feelings to make practical choices for moving forward.

3. Begin With "What's Next?"

The most important question in neutral thinking is simple: “What is the next thing I need to do?” This shifts the focus from overwhelming problems to manageable actions.

Si France, the CEO of Welbe Health, applied this approach during COVID-19. With a vulnerable group at risk, he instructed his team to follow simple, prioritized steps for patient care.

By focusing on the immediate task, rather than being consumed by hypothetical worst-case scenarios, his team performed effectively. This mindset saved the lives of 50 clients who statistically might not have survived otherwise.

Small, prioritized actions often create meaningful outcomes. Tackling one piece at a time prevents burnout and builds momentum to address larger challenges.

Examples

• Si France’s staff focused on daily checklists during the pandemic.
• A job seeker improves their odds of success by applying for one job a day instead of despairing over a tough market.
• A marathon runner succeeds by focusing on each mile rather than the entire race.

4. Align Decisions With Your Core Values

Your values anchor you amid life’s chaos. Identifying what matters most helps guide your daily decisions, keeping you focused and balanced.

For many, life-changing challenges like layoffs or health diagnoses create panic. The neutral-thinking approach to such situations ties action to values, helping maintain clarity.

In a stressed workplace presentation, someone might focus on both career dedication and family time, dividing their day into preparation time followed by relaxation with loved ones. Recognizing these values fosters balance.

Values ensure that regardless of external turmoil, your actions align with what’s important to you, creating purposeful progress.

Examples

• A worker juggles job responsibilities by prioritizing teamwork and family.
• A fitness enthusiast works out despite a busy schedule by valuing health above excuses.
• A leader fosters honesty and transparency by prioritizing communication in tough times.

5. Habits Are the Building Blocks for Values

Habits turn values into consistent actions. Small, repeated behaviors can transform aspirations into achievable success.

Admiral McRaven emphasized this idea in his famous speech: start by making your bed each morning. Accomplishing one task lays the foundation for tackling others throughout the day.

Habits also reinforce emotional focus and mindfulness. Serena Williams used pre-written notes to center her tennis matches after her sister’s death, playing in honor of her sibling while staying focused on her game.

Detrimental habits, like doom scrolling, have the opposite effect. Overexposure to negativity prevents mental clarity, making it harder to live in alignment with your values.

Examples

• Serena Williams maintained strong mental focus through repetitive journaling.
• Admiral McRaven underscored the power of small daily victories in Navy SEAL training.
• Doom scrolling amplifies anxiety, highlighting the need to replace such rituals with uplifting habits.

6. Preparation: A Key Neutral Tool

Getting to neutral often involves solid preparation. Knowing what to focus on—and what to leave out—is essential.

Trevor Moawad prepped for his cancer surgeries by controlling what he absorbed. He avoided unnecessary medical information that would overwhelm him, focusing only on the next step.

Whether for exams, games, or life changes, preparation shifts worry into action. Focus only on what helps you move forward, and avoid overburdening your mind with irrelevant data or excessive emotional input.

Using preparation as a strategy helps create a calm, purposeful mindset.

Examples

• Trevor avoided unnecessary medical details during his cancer journey.
• Athletes build routines to minimize game-day stress and improve focus.
• Students pass exams by eliminating distractions and structuring study time.

7. Your Social Circle Impacts Your Neutrality

Surrounding yourself with supportive people is crucial, but balance matters. Neutral thinking flourishes in a balanced social environment.

Trevor sought people who neither jumped into toxic positivity nor reinforced negativity. A supportive but realistic group enables forward-thinking without emotional baggage.

Start by identifying those who encourage your goals without overburdening you. Avoid "energy vampires"—people who take more than they give.

A balanced support system reinforces neutral decision-making by helping you focus on facts while maintaining emotional well-being.

Examples

• Trevor limited interactions with overly negative or overly positive friends during his cancer treatment.
• A project team performs well when its members balance optimism with realism.
• Athletes advance faster with coaches who provide honest feedback rather than hollow encouragement.

8. Empathy Plays a Role in Neutral Leadership

Emotional awareness and support enhance leadership. Maria Shriver implemented emotional intelligence checks in her workplace to understand how her team members felt.

This helped her adopt approaches matching her employees’ needs instead of enforcing rigid, one-size-fits-all leadership strategies.

By fostering understanding, leaders can create environments respectful of individual differences, increasing productivity and trust.

Examples

• Maria Shriver adjusted her leadership style to better meet employee needs.
• Navy SEALs revamped training for better success by focusing on individual preparedness.
• Mentors who adapt their guidance to individual mentees inspire stronger outcomes.

9. Neutral Thinking Makes You Resilient

Neutral thinking teaches you to view challenges through a calm lens. By addressing one step at a time, you create resilience in the face of adversity.

This resilience comes from knowing you can learn from the past without being constricted by it. Emotional setbacks become manageable obstacles rather than insurmountable walls.

The neutral mindset helps maintain focus, ensuring even the most difficult circumstances are faced with purpose and resolve.

Examples

• Trevor processed cancer challenges without fear or false hope, focusing solely on actionable steps.
• A business leader navigates market downturns with steady optimism rooted in realism.
• A single parent balances demanding work schedules by focusing on immediate priorities.

Takeaways

1. Start small. Take one reasonable action each day to shift from overwhelm to productive neutrality.
2. Set boundaries with negativity. Reduce consumption of bad news or gossip that pulls you into doubt.
3. Lean on your values and habits. Identify what matters most and build strong daily routines around it.