Help Me! Summary

"If I'm not happy with my life, why not take the advice of the self-help books I've been reading for over a decade and actually do what they say?" Marianne Power wonders, sparking an unforgettable journey.

1. Taking Action Transforms Ideas into Reality

Marianne Power realized that her years of consuming self-help books failed to change her life because she merely read them without applying their advice. A hungover Sunday marked her breaking point, creating a plan to act on the books' guidance. She committed to dedicating 16 months to implementing the lessons of one book every month. The commitment shifted her perspective, making her an active participant in her self-improvement.

Examples

• Marianne left her journalism job over a decade ago after a self-help book gave her the courage.
• She started trying out exercises like public speaking and even stand-up comedy.
• Her attitude transformed, instilling confidence as she acted on the principles of these books.

2. Facing Fears Can Be Empowering but Has Limits

Marianne turned to Susan Jeffers’ "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway," which instructs readers to tackle their fears for personal growth. From jumping into an icy pond to performing public stand-up, Marianne faced countless fears, earning exhilaration and pride. Still, she realized that some fears, like physical ones, served a practical purpose.

Examples

• Marianne received an award for public speaking despite her initial stage fright.
• She discovered excitement after initiating conversations with strangers on London’s subway.
• On the flip side, skydiving reinforced that her fear of heights protected, not limited, her life.

3. Money Troubles Often Stem from Emotional Patterns

Exploring financial self-help, Marianne discovered her money issues rooted in childhood experiences. Kate Northrup’s "Money, A Love Story" prompted her to reflect on her family’s excessive spending habits. The exercise revealed guilt and insecurity driving Marianne’s financial mishaps, like overspending to gain approval, and helped her confront these patterns.

Examples

• Growing up affluent but later witnessing the family’s financial collapse shaped her avoidance.
• Analyzing her bank statements led to a tearful realization of being $19,000 in debt.
• She adopted gratitude journaling and money tracking but struggled to sustain the habits.

4. Visualizing Goals Can Inspire Action – But Beware of Magical Thinking

Rhonda Byrne’s "The Secret" asked Marianne to visualize her dream life through a vision board. Though skeptical, Marianne found herself adding images that prompted reflection. Her initial visions, like owning a mansion, felt out of place. She began redefining her desires to a life that focused on health, connection, and freedom – not material wealth.

Examples

• Marianne’s housemate questioned the mansion image, sparking her deeper self-inquiry.
• Four days after envisioning yoga and kale, her editor assigned her articles related to them.
• She shifted her financial focus from haphazard affirmations back to grounded money skills.

5. Seeking Rejection Can Lead to Affirmation

Inspired by "Rejection Therapy," Marianne pursued one rejection per day. This exercise increased her resilience and even birthed unexpected successes. However, a personal tragedy paused her mission and emphasized gratitude, leading her to intersect rejection’s lessons with meaningful opportunities.

Examples

• As an unintended outcome, a newspaper accepted her article pitch as a recurring column.
• A man she approached at a café asked her out after she confronted her fear.
• Her uncle’s funeral prompted a shift to value connections over perfection.

6. Finding Your Flow with “Saying No” Creates Room for Happiness

Marianne attended John Parkin’s retreat in Italy for his book "F**k It." Exercises including trust-building and mindfulness left her feeling emotionally lighter. Yet, misinterpreting Parkin’s philosophy of avoiding negativity, she moved to cut ties with friends who she thought didn’t support her growth.

Examples

• One exercise guiding participants to float in water revealed her struggles trusting others.
• She grew emotional after seeing squirrels, uncovering bottled-up feelings.
• A friend's feedback about becoming self-absorbed caused Marianne to reevaluate.

7. Grounding High Ambition After Loss of Control

Spurred by Tony Robbins, Marianne attended his seminar. Walking on coals and committing to a 10-day challenge made her feel invincible but short-lived. Her financial disarray soon demanded she confront the balance between chasing dreams and maintaining stability.

Examples

• She walked on hot coals, an act she initially deemed impossible.
• Robbins’ teachings left her inspired but unprepared for unchecked optimism leading to financial denial.
• Marianne worked tirelessly to address her $4,000 overdraft within a month.

8. Connection and Giving Shift the Focus from Inward to Outward

Angel therapy’s whimsical promises pushed Marianne away from self-help into seeking tangible meaning through kindness. Her neighbor and mother highlighted the joy and grounding effects of helping others, offering Marianne a new perspective.

Examples

• Clearing leaves for an elderly neighbor rekindled her sense of purpose.
• Motherly advice encouraged Marianne to explore selflessness instead of constant self-focus.
• Listening to others’ struggles gave Marianne relief tied directly to connection.

9. Aligning Present Happiness Without Chasing Perfection

Eckhart Tolle’s "The Power of Now" illuminated her deep anxiety caused by perfection-seeking. Marianne realized how stories she told herself about inadequacy and unattainable ideals harmed her fulfillment in the moment. Letting go of striving for an illusionary perfect future transformed her to savor life's simplicity.

Examples

• She described newfound calming peace, appreciating nature's beauty around her.
• Tolle’s emphasis on dislodging emotional attachment brought clarity about the futility of perpetual goal-chasing.
• Marianne ended her years-long shame cycle once accepting her flaws as strength markers.

Takeaways

1. Take action on self-help principles; ideas are impactful only when practiced.
2. Face meaningful fears decisively while discerning unhelpful pain points or safe boundaries.
3. Prioritize connection over perfection by cultivating present mindfulness and sharing vulnerability.