How Am I Doing?

Have you ever asked yourself, 'How am I doing?'—not just to reflect, but to truly understand yourself and grow into the person you want to be?

1. You Are the Most Important Person in Your Life

Taking care of yourself isn't selfish; it's necessary. Dr. Yeager emphasizes that valuing yourself more than anyone else isn't about neglecting others but recognizing that you can't provide for others without taking care of yourself first.

This concept challenges the societal norm of prioritizing others' needs over your own. You need to realize that putting energy into self-care makes you better equipped to pour love and attention into others' lives. Strike a balance by making time for yourself alongside your commitments to loved ones.

Make progress by reflecting on times you've put others first at your own expense, writing these instances in a journal, and strategizing ways to set boundaries. Taking occasional "me days" and unapologetically focusing on self-renewal is key to maintaining balance.

Examples

• Jotting down moments when you hesitated to prioritize yourself and analyzing their impact.
• Scheduling solo days filled with activities you love whenever you feel drained.
• Remembering that genuine love for others starts with self-love.

2. Dream Big – but Make Those Dreams Achievable

Wild dreams might feel out of reach, but many are closer to reality than you think if you break them down into steps. Dr. Yeager invites you to dream as outrageously as you'd like, but then align those dreams with your skills and motivations.

Start by visualizing what excites you, whether it’s building an unconventional career or starting a creative side project. Next comes scaling those dreams to fit your current abilities and passion while being realistic about the effort involved. Define macro goals—what you'd like to achieve in a few years—and micro steps to start taking today.

Grounding your goals in what excites you ensures long-term dedication. Success is most fulfilling when tied to your real interests, not society's standards or others' approval.

Examples

• Breaking down a dream like running a marathon into training for 15 minutes daily.
• Pivoting a dream of becoming a Google CEO into launching your own promising tech business.
• Turning a love for colors into designing or painting as a regular practice.

3. Use Mirrors as Tools for Reflection—Literally

Mirrors reflect more than physical appearance; they give unique clarity about who you are. Dr. Yeager advises seeing your reflection as another person offering valuable perspective and insight during decisions.

This practice is about stepping outside yourself. When facing choices, such as conflicting commitments, ask your mirror reflection what matters most. Over time, these reflective moments create clarity for decision-making and strengthen your sense of self.

Start small—observe your reflection and think about what it shows; later, progress into full conversations. These discussions become an internal compass guiding you to live authentically.

Examples

• Using mirrors to decide on prioritizing family versus work in tough situations.
• Reflecting on what's emotionally holding you back during daily mirror moments.
• Talking openly in the mirror about challenges to explore new solutions.

4. Vulnerability Presents Opportunities for Growth

Hiding weaknesses often leads to stagnation. Dr. Yeager encourages embracing vulnerabilities as steps to reach personal freedom and realize we don’t have to face them alone.

For instance, admitting areas where you lack expertise lets others share their knowledge, making the journey easier. Vulnerability forms connections, showing others you’re human, while their support opens pathways previously hidden by pride or fear.

Discover strength by exploring both sides—where you need help and where you can assist someone else. Transparency fosters genuine relationships and sparks collective growth.

Examples

• Admitting you don't know how to cook and letting loved ones teach you.
• Sharing a weakness with a mentor, resulting in tailored guidance.
• Helping someone overcome public speaking fears with insights from your own experiences.

5. Anger Often Masks Other Emotions

What if your anger isn’t anger but hidden sadness or disappointment? Dr. Yeager suggests peeling back anger’s layers to discover root causes and better process emotions.

Analyze moments when you’ve lashed out—why were you upset? Reflecting helps you stop focusing on anger itself and instead untangle deeper emotions like frustration, loss, or unmet expectations. Acknowledging the real feeling behind anger brings relief and opens space for solutions.

Start journaling events that trigger anger to identify patterns. Over time, you'll gain self-awareness and reduce unnecessary conflict.

Examples

• Realizing you weren’t angry at a friend for being late, but hurt they didn’t prioritize you.
• Revisiting heated work arguments to uncover underlying stress or fear.
• Using a journal to trace where unexpressed disappointment spirals into irritability.

6. Accept the Past, Focus on Lessons Learned

Dwelling on regret is counterproductive—you can’t change the past, but you can shape the future. Dr. Yeager advises seeing past mistakes as opportunities for growth rather than failures.

Every regrettable moment exists as part of who you are today, teaching lessons you can use to make wiser decisions going forward. Write to your past self, recognizing the journey they endured and the strength they built within you.

Let regrets guide but never define you. Use past experiences as building blocks rather than weights.

Examples

• Thanking your younger self for the courage to start over after failures.
• Reframing a missed opportunity by recognizing relationships it preserved.
• Learning patience after a rushed decision that didn’t pan out as expected.

7. Learn and Grow from Every Mistake

Mistakes aren’t the end of the road—they’re detours that teach us how to navigate better. Dr. Yeager explains how each misstep carries lessons on understanding yourself and forgiving human imperfections.

Unpacking mistakes begins with facing them directly. Acknowledge what went wrong, consider what led up to it, and express gratitude for seeing your blind spots. Every mistake brings clarity to an area needing improvement or healing.

Fear of mistakes fades when you realize the self-growth that comes from them. With each stumble, you move closer to your best self.

Examples

• Detailing how skipping preparation led to flubbing a presentation.
• Understanding that neglecting self-care resulted in past burnout.
• Forgiving a mistake that cost you a relationship while appreciating lessons in communication.

8. Embrace the Power of 23 Seconds

Moments as short as 23 seconds can shift your mindset. Dr. Yeager highlights this brief span as ideal for setting daily intentions or resetting before critical events.

In less than half a minute, you can center yourself, breathe deeply, and align thoughts with meaningful actions ahead. Use these seconds to imagine the outcome you desire and prepare to step into it.

It’s surprising how far intentionality goes—focusing your mind for even a few seconds sets a tone that ripples into hours.

Examples

• Quietly refocusing before giving a high-stakes presentation.
• Calming anxieties before greeting family during a stressful reunion.
• Setting specific goals at the start of a meeting to keep points productive.

9. Laughter Is Medicine for the Soul

Laugh every day—it lightens burdens and enhances well-being. Dr. Yeager insists humor doesn’t only lift your mood, but also lowers stress and sharpens your perspective.

Laughter connects people and brings brightness to dark times. It reminds us not to take life too seriously and to welcome joy into even small moments.

Build laughter into routines by seeking humor in media, conversations, or self-deprecating jokes. Its benefits add up over time, nurturing joy and resilience.

Examples

• Watching a comedy show regularly with friends or family.
• Laughing at relatable fails instead of dwelling on embarrassment.
• Finding humor in children’s unfiltered perspectives during tough days.

Takeaways

1. Schedule weekly solo moments to recharge and reflect on self-prioritization.
2. Use 23-second rituals to align yourself with personal or professional goals daily.
3. Commit to journaling triggers for anger or regret to better process emotions and situations.