“Be a bawse by controlling your thoughts, training your emotions, and breaking through your fears for ultimate success.”
1. Build Self-Awareness to Befriend Your Mind
Your brain can either propel you forward or hold you back. To work with it, self-awareness is essential. Self-awareness helps you understand the deep-set causes of issues and deal with them effectively.
Peeling back the layers of personal challenges is the first step in achieving this. For example, Lilly Singh shares how she dismisses her romantic life as unimportant because of work. But digging deeper, she finds her fear of relationships stems from childhood exposure to unhealthy partnerships. Reaching this root cause allows for genuine growth.
Secondly, controlling negative reactions and emotions brings you closer to achieving this awareness. When faced with someone causing a negative reaction, remember it is often about them, not you. Also, let happiness drive you rather than fear; working towards joy cultivates motivation and purpose.
Examples
- Analyzing why you procrastinate rather than blaming distractions.
- Recognizing self-doubt as stemming from a past failure and not from current abilities.
- Using meditation to identify and reduce stress triggers.
2. Train Your Mind Like a Muscle
Success isn't only about physical actions; it's also about mental strength. Like lifting weights builds biceps, discipline trains the mind for success.
Start by challenging your self-control. Lilly suggests setting small goals, like resisting a bad habit for 24 hours. Reward yourself for success to reinforce the behavior. Additionally, introduce pauses into your routine—your mind needs breaks to avoid burnout.
Meditation is an incredible tool to recover and recharge. During a low point, Lilly practiced mindfulness to refocus. This simple act of breathing and reflecting can refresh your mind.
Examples
- Setting a goal to complete a task faster every time to build focus.
- Rewarding yourself after finishing an assignment, like getting your phone back after working.
- Creating a personal meditation routine, such as deep breathing for five minutes daily.
3. Fully Commit to Your Vision
Your path to success requires undistracted focus and fearless action. Commitment means overcoming fears and not wavering from your goals.
Lilly cites her video shoot with Seth Rogen and James Franco as an example. Fear tried to undermine her confidence, but she imagined it as a jacket she could take off. This mindset allowed her to successfully manage the project despite intimidation.
A vision board helps you visually reinforce your dream and keep you aligned. For Lilly, her focus was on growing her YouTube career. She consistently let this vision guide her actions, ensuring she stayed on track.
Examples
- Visualizing fear as an object to be set aside before important tasks.
- Creating a vision board full of images representing your dream job.
- Saying no to distractions, like skipping social outings to dedicate time to personal goals.
4. Treat Personal Growth as a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Building personal and professional success takes time. Quick fixes might give temporary applause, but lasting success needs patience and effort.
Lay a strong foundation. Lilly avoided the allure of viral gimmicks and focused instead on producing meaningful, consistent content. Over time, this approach drew loyal viewers and long-term success. Goals like acting in Hollywood prompted her to set moving deadlines, keeping her accountable without overwhelming stress.
The journey also involves investing in resources and yourself. Lilly’s decision to hire a manager early on allowed her to expand her brand and achieve more.
Examples
- Working consistently on long-term projects rather than chasing fleeting trends.
- Setting a fixed date to achieve a goal, like moving to a new city for career opportunities.
- Investing in learning new skills, such as taking professional courses.
5. Choose the Right People to Surround You
The people around you have a huge impact on your growth. Ensure you're part of groups that challenge and inspire you.
Lilly grew as a creator by seeking mentors and teammates who knew more than she did. She prioritized learning from others instead of letting her ego get in the way. Even Snoop Dogg says his team members' intelligence is what has helped his career excel.
Too much validation can also hold you back. Lilly learned this from her mother, who only sparingly praised her, keeping her grounded and hungry to achieve more.
Examples
- Joining a group where you’re the least experienced to learn faster.
- Asking people for honest constructive feedback rather than superficial compliments.
- Partnering with individuals who are stronger where you are weak.
6. Stand Out by Breaking the Right Rules
To be memorable, never hesitate to bend the norms—when it’s meaningful.
Lilly broke Hollywood’s no-direct-contact rule when she texted her idol, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. This bold step forged a friendship that would have taken years to cultivate through traditional channels. Standing out depends not just on courage, but also on focus and being present in key moments.
During a job interview, Lilly confidently declared her aim for "world domination," a response that boldly set her apart from others. Her deliberate presence convinced her interviewer of her unique drive.
Examples
- Skipping illogical norms when they block critical opportunities, like networking.
- Preparing and confidently expressing your genuine aspirations during presentations or interviews.
- Seizing unplanned chances to showcase creativity.
7. Cultivate Positivity Instead of Negativity
Negative thoughts waste time and energy. Focusing on positive aspects, however, fosters growth and gratitude.
Lilly trains herself to notice people’s best traits instead of gossiping or criticizing. When negativity arises, she avoids speaking it aloud unless it’s constructive.
Avoiding negative distractions also helps time management. Instead of following celebrity drama, Lilly shares her admiration for artists’ merits, redirecting energy toward the positive.
Examples
- Silently acknowledging but not vocalizing negative thoughts.
- Complimenting someone's talent rather than focusing on their flaws.
- Refusing to participate in unnecessary gossip at work.
8. Define and Follow Your Values
Leadership and success come from having a moral compass. Know your values and act by them.
Lilly keeps a personal manifesto of values, reading and reciting it regularly to train her mind. For instance, refraining from gossip reinforces her integrity. These consistent affirmations make positive behaviors almost automatic, ensuring she stays on her path.
Clear values also simplify decision-making. By defining how she views hard work, Lilly avoids shortcuts or compromising on ethics.
Examples
- Writing down your values and reviewing them weekly.
- Choosing work partners based on shared principles over monetary gain.
- Avoiding projects that conflict with your ethical beliefs.
9. Amplify Change by Promoting What You Love
Focus on positivity and practical solutions instead of tearing down what you dislike.
Kindness opens doors. When Lilly complimented Justin Bieber’s manager, it started a relationship that helped her career grow. Similarly, she highlighted the virtues of female celebrities when asked about their drama, using the moment to inspire others.
Being nice also means engaging with all levels of collaboration. Lilly consistently thanks every team member on her sets, earning a stellar reputation.
Examples
- Saying one kind remark to someone every day to help build relationships.
- Offering creative solutions instead of complaining about problems at work.
- Prioritizing praise over criticism in public conversations.
Takeaways
- Create a vision board that illustrates your dreams and keep it visible to guide your daily actions.
- Write a personal manifesto with specific values and review it weekly to reinforce positive behaviors.
- Commit to practicing acts of kindness daily, such as expressing gratitude to your colleagues or acknowledging someone's efforts.