How to be F*cking Awesome

Success isn't about following someone else's plan; it's about being unflinchingly true to yourself and daring to go after what you truly want.

1. Prioritize Yourself First

To be successful, you must take care of yourself before trying to help others. This isn’t selfish – it’s essential. If you’re running on empty, you won’t be able to give your best to anyone else.

The author compares this idea to a teacher showing up to class while sick. Their depleted state leads to poor performance, which helps no one. Instead, stepping back, recovering, and returning strong is better for all involved. This metaphor also applies to life at large: focus on areas like nutrition, exercise, mental health, and relationships to build a strong foundation.

The author’s personal experience is a testament to this principle. Prioritizing his passions, health, and well-being allowed him to leave a corporate job that left him unhappy and burnt out. By aligning his life with his authentic goals, he found the energy and vision needed for success.

Examples

• Taking time off from work when sick ensures better long-term performance.
• Avoiding toxic relationships prioritizes mental balance.
• Starting a consistent exercise routine boosts energy and motivation.

2. Stop Seeking Approval From Others

Constantly worrying about others' opinions can paralyze your progress. When you’re too focused on impressing people or avoiding criticism, you miss opportunities.

The author shares that fear of rejection once controlled his life. For years, he hesitated to engage with people or take risks, held back by "what-ifs." In hindsight, none of his worst fears actually came true, and by letting go of the need for approval, he unlocked new possibilities.

An authentic self always resonates more than a fake persona. Copying someone else, like mimicking Lady Gaga’s quirky style, repels rather than attracts people. Your originality is your strength, and it’s what will make you stand out in the crowd.

Examples

• The fear of judgment kept the author from networking for years.
• Copying another artist rarely leads to success; uniqueness is the draw.
• Authentic connections are only formed when people feel you're being real.

3. Acknowledge Your Strengths and Weaknesses

Honesty about your abilities is key. Everyone wants to downplay their flaws, but embracing them allows for growth.

The author used a feedback form sent to friends and colleagues to pinpoint areas for improvement and strengths worth building on. Receiving raw, unfiltered opinions gave him a new perspective and the tools to make positive changes.

Once you know where your strengths lie, you can focus on those skill sets while gradually improving your weaknesses. For instance, the author initially charged low rates as a personal trainer because he recognized his inexperience. As he honed his skills, his confidence grew – and so did his fees.

Examples

• Feedback forms provide honest insights into personal blind spots.
• Early lower rates reflect initial skills; increased confidence justifies price hikes.
• Reflecting on personal strengths gives direction for career growth.

4. Cultivate Interesting Conversations

To be effective at networking, you need to be interesting – and being interesting often comes from being interested in others.

The author recommends developing opinions on books and articles to have compelling things to say. Sharing thoughtful insights makes conversations memorable. Equally important, ask meaningful questions about others’ lives to uncover shared interests.

This mix of being engaging and curious not only builds connections but also helps showcase your individuality in personal and professional settings.

Examples

• Formulating opinions on topics leads to richer discussions.
• Asking about others’ hobbies establishes common ground.
• Actively listening in conversations strengthens connection.

5. Haters Serve a Purpose

Criticism is inevitable. From outright hostility to constructive feedback, learning to handle both with grace is a key skill.

The author emphasizes ignoring baseless negativity. Haters often act from envy or insecurity, so dwelling on their comments wastes your energy. Instead, focus on thoughtful critiques, which often contain advice that can propel you forward.

Rather than internalizing negativity, view your critics’ feedback as a mirror. Separate helpful advice from mere opinion, and don’t let someone's bad day dictate how you feel about yourself.

Examples

• Use constructive criticism to refine your work.
• Recognize when negativity says more about the critic than your project.
• Avoid engaging emotionally with hateful comments.

6. Set Actionable Goals With Purpose

A consistent system makes progress measurable and manageable. To tackle big goals, break them into clear priorities.

The “brain dump” method helps organize and rank tasks effectively. By writing everything down, you can identify what’s essential and what can wait. The author used a “one-two-three” ranking system to focus on critical tasks, starting with what mattered most.

Pairing this system with dedicated, distraction-free time slots (“the dentist appointment”) ensures you work efficiently. Whether it’s an hour each day or a longer stretch, consistency is key.

Examples

• Sorting tasks by priority avoids overwhelm.
• Dedicated work sprints lead to steady progress.
• Structured routines like “the dentist appointment” prevent procrastination.

7. Surround Yourself With Like-Minded People

Your environment influences your mindset. Surrounding yourself with driven, supportive individuals can have a transformative effect.

The author advises forming connections with people who share similar goals, whether through seminars, social media groups, or industry meetups. These relationships fuel motivation and often lead to growth through collaboration and shared experiences.

Instead of letting negative or indifferent people influence your outlook, seek those who embrace your journey and challenge you to excel.

Examples

• Industry events help form meaningful professional connections.
• Joining Facebook groups provides easy access to niche communities.
• Mentorship offers targeted guidance from experienced professionals.

8. Show Gratitude To Your Support Network

Behind every success story is a network of people who’ve helped along the way. Acknowledging them fosters goodwill and strengthens those relationships.

The author emphasizes crediting others who contribute to your achievements. Whether it’s a mentor’s advice or a peer’s collaboration, recognizing their input builds a foundation for future support.

This principle applies not only to allies but also to potential critics. Maintaining civility with haters shows strength and maturity.

Examples

• Public shoutouts honor your supporters’ contributions.
• Civil responses to criticism protect your reputation.
• Expressing gratitude builds lasting professional bonds.

9. Detach From the Outcome

Stressing over results can stall progress. Instead, the author suggests detaching from the final outcome to stay focused and reduce anxiety.

By letting go of uncertainty about whether something will succeed or fail, you can commit fully to the process itself. The act of trying becomes the victory, regardless of the result.

This shift in mindset makes even failures more constructive because the learning becomes part of your journey rather than a roadblock.

Examples

• Viewing setbacks as learning experiences prevents burnout.
• Focusing on effort over results builds resilience.
• Embracing process over perfection keeps momentum alive.

Takeaways

1. Spend time identifying your passions and set boundaries that ensure you focus on your personal and professional goals.
2. Create a daily system like the “brain dump” and prioritize tasks so that progress feels achievable and structured.
3. Seek out a supportive community or mentor who can encourage your goals and help keep you accountable.