How to Begin

Introduction

In a world filled with self-help books that offer pre-packaged solutions and predetermined paths to success, Michael Bungay Stanier's "How to Begin" takes a refreshingly different approach. This book acknowledges that each person's journey is unique and that no one can tell us what truly matters to us. Instead of providing a one-size-fits-all roadmap, Stanier offers tools and techniques to help readers discover and pursue their own "Worthy Goals."

The concept of a Worthy Goal is central to this book. It's not just any objective or aspiration, but one that possesses specific qualities that make it truly worthwhile and fulfilling. Through a series of exercises, reflections, and stress tests, Stanier guides readers on a journey of self-discovery and goal-setting that is both practical and profound.

"How to Begin" is not about quick fixes or easy answers. It's about embarking on a thoughtful, introspective process to identify goals that are not only achievable but also deeply meaningful. The book recognizes that life is short and that we owe it to ourselves to pursue goals that are truly worthy of our time and effort.

As we delve into the key ideas of this book, we'll explore what makes a goal "worthy," how to draft and refine our goals, and how to test them for feasibility and personal significance. We'll also look at strategies for committing to our goals and taking action, even when faced with obstacles or self-doubt.

Whether you're feeling stuck in your current situation, searching for a new direction, or simply want to ensure that you're making the most of your life, "How to Begin" offers valuable insights and practical tools to help you chart your own course towards a more fulfilling future.

The Three Qualities of a Worthy Goal

At the heart of Stanier's approach is the concept of a "Worthy Goal." But what exactly makes a goal worthy? According to the author, every Worthy Goal should possess three distinctive qualities: it should be daunting, important, and thrilling.

Daunting

A Worthy Goal should push you out of your comfort zone. It should be challenging enough to require growth, learning, and personal development. This doesn't mean it should be impossible or overwhelming, but it should stretch your capabilities and force you to evolve.

For example, if you're a competent public speaker, giving a presentation to your team might not be daunting. But delivering a keynote speech at a major industry conference could be a daunting goal that pushes you to new heights.

Important

Your goal should have significance beyond just personal gain. It should connect you to the world in some way, whether by serving others, contributing to a cause, or creating something of value. An important goal gives you a sense of purpose and makes you feel that your efforts are meaningful in a broader context.

For instance, starting a business solely to make money might not qualify as important in this sense. But starting a business that solves a pressing problem in your community or helps underserved populations could be an important goal.

Thrilling

Finally, a Worthy Goal should excite you. It should align with your values and passions, making you eager to pursue it. This quality ensures that your goal isn't just something you feel you should do, but something you genuinely want to do.

Think about the difference between learning a new language because you feel it might be useful for your career, versus learning a language because you're fascinated by its culture and can't wait to immerse yourself in it. The latter is more likely to be thrilling and keep you motivated in the long run.

To illustrate these qualities, Stanier presents the story of Paul, a sensitive and intelligent boy who becomes a doctor to meet his parents' expectations. While being a doctor ticks the boxes of being daunting and important, it fails to be thrilling for Paul. This example underscores the importance of all three qualities being present in a truly Worthy Goal.

The author likens a goal missing one of these qualities to a three-legged stool with one leg shorter than the others. It might still function, but it will always be uncomfortable and unstable. This metaphor drives home the point that all three elements are crucial for a goal to be truly worthy of your time and effort.

By ensuring that your goals are daunting, important, and thrilling, you set yourself up for a journey that is not only challenging and meaningful but also deeply satisfying. This framework provides a solid foundation for the goal-setting process that follows in the rest of the book.

Starting with a Crappy First Draft

One of the key insights in "How to Begin" is the importance of getting your ideas out of your head and into the world, even if they're not perfect. Stanier introduces the concept of the "crappy first draft" as a way to overcome the paralysis of perfectionism and start the goal-setting process.

The Power of Imperfection

The author emphasizes that it's nearly impossible to nail your Worthy Goal on the first attempt. Instead of striving for perfection from the outset, he encourages readers to embrace imperfection and start with a rough sketch of their idea.

This approach has several benefits:

1. It makes the process less intimidating, allowing you to start without the pressure of getting everything right immediately.
2. It helps you overcome writer's block or analysis paralysis by focusing on action rather than perfection.
3. It provides a tangible starting point that you can refine and improve over time.

The 10-Minute Exercise

Stanier provides a practical exercise to help readers create their crappy first draft:

1. Think of a life project or goal you want to work on.
2. Give yourself 10 minutes to jot down quick word associations related to this goal.
3. Don't worry about coherence or completeness – the aim is to get your thoughts flowing.
4. As you write, keep in mind the three qualities of a Worthy Goal: Is it daunting? Important? Thrilling?

For example, if your goal is "Go to bed at 10 p.m. every night," your word associations might include:

• Early night
• Early start
• More energy throughout the day
• More productive after work
• Time for personal projects

Crafting a Mission Statement

After the word association exercise, Stanier suggests trying to distill your thoughts into a short mission statement. This doesn't need to be perfect or final – it's still part of your crappy first draft.

The author provides his own example: "Create a new, top-notch podcast." This simple statement encapsulates his goal without getting bogged down in details or perfectionism.

Embracing Imperfection

The key takeaway from this section is that starting is often the hardest part of any journey. By lowering the stakes and allowing yourself to produce a "crappy" first draft, you overcome the initial hurdle of getting started.

Remember, this is just the beginning. Your goal will evolve and become clearer as you progress through the exercises and reflections in the book. The important thing is to have something tangible to work with, rather than an abstract idea floating in your mind.

Stress-Testing Your Goal

Once you have your crappy first draft, it's time to put it through its paces. Stanier introduces two important "stress tests" to help you evaluate the feasibility and appropriateness of your goal: the spouse-ish test and the Goldilocks test.

The Spouse-ish Test

This test involves sharing your goal with someone who knows you well – a spouse, partner, close friend, or family member. The idea is to get feedback from someone who understands your strengths, weaknesses, and life circumstances.

Why It's Important

1. It makes you accountable by sharing your goal with someone else.
2. It provides a reality check from someone who knows you well.
3. It helps you identify potential blind spots or issues you might have overlooked.

What to Expect

When you share your goal, you're likely to get one of three responses:

1. "Yes, brilliant – do it!"
2. "No, that's nuts – don't do it!"
3. "Yes, it's a great idea, but you've been talking about it forever; just do it already!"

How to Interpret the Feedback

• Positive feedback is encouraging but shouldn't be taken as an automatic green light.
• Negative feedback isn't necessarily a red light but a warning to check if you've missed something important.
• The third response might indicate that you need to focus more on action rather than planning.

The Goldilocks Test

This test helps you determine if your goal is in the right "zone" – not too small and not too big, but just right.

The Concept

Stanier borrows the idea from astronomy's "Goldilocks Zone," where conditions are just right for life to exist – not too hot, not too cold.

Applying it to Goals

• Too Small: Goals that are too granular or easily achievable, like "Go to bed at 10 p.m. every night."
• Too Big: Abstract or overly ambitious goals, like "Find happiness."
• Just Right: Goals that are meaningful and inspiring, yet realistic and achievable.

Finding Your Goldilocks Zone

Ask yourself:

• Is this goal significant enough to be motivating?
• Is it specific enough to be actionable?
• Does it strike a balance between being challenging and achievable?

The Importance of Stress-Testing

These tests serve several crucial purposes:

1. They help you refine your goal by identifying potential issues or areas for improvement.
2. They force you to articulate your goal to others, which can clarify your own thinking.
3. They provide external perspectives that can validate or challenge your assumptions.
4. They help you gauge whether your goal is appropriately scaled for your current situation.

What If Your Goal Fails the Tests?

If your goal doesn't pass these stress tests, don't be discouraged. This is valuable information that can help you refine and improve your goal. Consider:

• Adjusting the scope of your goal
• Clarifying your intentions or desired outcomes
• Addressing any concerns or obstacles identified during the spouse-ish test
• Reconsidering whether this goal truly meets the criteria of being daunting, important, and thrilling

Remember, the purpose of these tests is not to discourage you, but to help you craft a goal that is both meaningful and achievable. It's normal and expected that your goal might need some tweaking at this stage.

Refining Your Goal: Adding Spice and Precision

After stress-testing your goal, the next step is to refine it, making it more precise and impactful. Stanier introduces a creative exercise to help readers add "spice" to their goals, using the analogy of a restaurant's heat scale for its dishes.

The Spice-Adding Exercise

The author suggests giving yourself about 15 minutes for this exercise. The idea is to experiment with adding words or short phrases to your mission statement to make it more specific and powerful.

Categories to Consider

1. Time:

   • When will you work on your goal? (Full-time, 5 hours a week, etc.)
   • What's your deadline? (By tomorrow, within 4 weeks, by 2040, before you die)

2. Method:

   • How will you work? (Alone, with a team)
   • What's your approach? (Willingly, joyfully, passionately, all-in)

3. Reach:

   • What's the scope of your goal? (Local, international)
   • Who's your target audience? (1,000 local customers, 10 million global subscribers)

4. Outcomes:

   • What results are you aiming for? (Profitable, sustainable, helpful, lucrative, freeing, fulfilling)
   • How will you measure success? (Top 10%, top 5%, top 3%)
   • What impact do you want to have? (Transformative, best-selling, recognized, loved, valued)

5. Standards:

   • What level of quality are you aiming for? (Professional, extraordinary, elite, competent, good enough)

Applying the Exercise

The author provides his own example to illustrate how this exercise can transform a vague goal into something more precise and meaningful:

• Initial draft: "Create a new, top-notch podcast"
• Refined version: "Launch a new podcast that is in the top 3 percent of all podcasts within 12 months"

Notice how the refined version includes specific timeframes and measurable outcomes, making it much more concrete and actionable.

The Power of Precision

This exercise serves several important purposes:

1. It forces you to think more deeply about what you really want to achieve.
2. It helps you set more concrete, measurable goals.
3. It can increase your motivation by making the goal feel more real and achievable.
4. It provides clearer criteria for success, which can help you track your progress.

Tips for Effective Refinement

1. Experiment with different combinations of words and phrases.
2. Don't be afraid to be bold or specific.
3. Consider how each addition changes the feel and impact of your goal.
4. Aim for a balance between ambition and realism.
5. Make sure the refined goal still meets the criteria of being daunting, important, and thrilling.

The Importance of Iteration

Remember that this process is iterative. You might not get it perfect on the first try, and that's okay. The goal is to make your mission statement as clear and impactful as possible, but it's still a work in progress.

As you refine your goal, you might find that it evolves or changes direction slightly. This is a natural part of the process and can lead to insights about what truly matters to you.

Balancing Specificity and Flexibility

While adding specificity to your goal is important, be careful not to make it so narrow that it becomes inflexible. Your goal should provide clear direction while still allowing room for adaptation as circumstances change or new opportunities arise.

For example, instead of "Become the CEO of Company X within 5 years," you might say "Achieve a senior leadership position in a Fortune 500 company within 5 years." This maintains the ambition and timeframe while allowing for different paths to success.

By refining your goal in this way, you transform it from a vague aspiration into a clear, motivating target. This precision not only helps you focus your efforts but also makes it easier to communicate your goal to others and enlist their support.

Evaluating Risks and Rewards: The Final Decision

After refining your goal, Stanier introduces a crucial step: evaluating the risks and rewards of pursuing your Worthy Goal. This process helps you make a final decision about whether to commit to your goal or reconsider your options.

The Call of the Wild

The author uses Gary Larson's "Far Side" cartoon of a couch-potato moose ignoring "the call of the wild" as a metaphor. The question is: Will you answer the call of your Worthy Goal, or let the opportunity pass you by?

The Cost-Benefit Analysis Exercise

Stanier provides a structured exercise to help readers weigh the pros and cons of pursuing their goal versus maintaining the status quo.

Step 1: List the Rewards of Not Pursuing Your Goal

Give yourself 10 minutes to consider how you benefit from not taking on your Worthy Goal. This might include:

• Maintaining comfort and security
• Avoiding potential failure or disappointment
• Keeping your options open
• Preserving current status or authority
• Avoiding the need to admit lack of knowledge or skill in certain areas
• Maintaining comforting beliefs or narratives about yourself

Step 2: List the Costs of Not Pursuing Your Goal

Spend another 10 minutes listing what you might lose by not pursuing your Worthy Goal. This could include:

• Missed opportunities for growth and learning
• Unfulfilled potential
• Regret or dissatisfaction later in life
• Lost chances to meet interesting people or expand your network
• Missed opportunities to develop valuable skills
• The possibility of settling for less than you're capable of achieving

Step 3: Evaluate and Compare

After completing both lists:

1. Choose the three biggest rewards and the three biggest costs.
2. Compare these top items and consider which way the balance tips.
3. Reflect on your gut feeling about the comparison.

Interpreting the Results

The outcome of this exercise can go two ways:

1. If the rewards of maintaining the status quo outweigh the costs, it might indicate that you're not ready to commit to this particular goal. In this case, Stanier advises returning to the beginning of the process to rethink or refine your goal.

2. If the costs of not pursuing the goal outweigh the rewards, it suggests that you're ready to commit to your Worthy Goal.

The Value of This Exercise

This cost-benefit analysis serves several important purposes:

1. It forces you to confront and articulate your fears and reservations about pursuing your goal.
2. It helps you recognize the hidden costs of inaction, which are often easy to overlook.
3. It provides a structured way to make a decision, balancing emotional and rational considerations.
4. It can reveal underlying beliefs or assumptions that might be holding you back.
5. It helps ensure that you're committing to your goal for the right reasons, not just out of obligation or external pressure.

Dealing with Uncertainty

It's important to note that even after this exercise, you might still feel uncertain. This is normal and doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't proceed. Some level of uncertainty is often present when pursuing significant goals.

The key is to determine whether your reservations are based on legitimate concerns that need addressing, or if they're manifestations of fear or self-doubt that you need to overcome.

The Power of Conscious Choice

Regardless of the outcome, this exercise empowers you to make a conscious, informed choice about your goal. Whether you decide to commit to your current goal, modify it, or explore a different direction, you're doing so with a clearer understanding of what's at stake.

This conscious decision-making process aligns with Stanier's overall philosophy of taking ownership of your life path, rather than passively accepting circumstances or following predetermined routes.

Taking Action: Moving from Planning to Doing

Having refined your goal and evaluated its risks and rewards, Stanier emphasizes the crucial step of moving from planning to action. This transition is often where many people stumble, getting caught in endless preparation without making real progress.

The Danger of Pseudo-Action

Stanier warns against the trap of "pseudo-action" – activities that feel productive but don't actually move you closer to your goal. This might include:

• Endlessly refining to-do lists
• Over-researching without implementing
• Constantly tweaking plans without executing them

While these activities can feel comforting and give an illusion of progress, they often serve as a form of procrastination.

The Power of Small Steps

Instead of getting overwhelmed by the entirety of your goal, Stanier advocates for breaking it down into small, manageable actions. He provides examples:

• If you're writing a book, focus on writing one page at a time.
• If you're building a community organization, make one phone call at a time.

The key is to commit to ongoing, small steps of action. This approach has several benefits:

1. It makes large goals feel less daunting.
2. It provides a sense of progress, which can boost motivation.
3. It allows you to build momentum gradually.
4. It helps you develop habits and routines that support your goal.

The Six-Week Cycle

To maintain momentum and ensure you're on the right track, Stanier suggests evaluating your progress every six weeks. This timeframe is long enough to make meaningful progress but short enough to prevent you from veering too far off course if adjustments are needed.

During these evaluation periods:

1. Take a few days to reflect on your progress.
2. Celebrate what you've accomplished.
3. Identify what didn't go as planned and why.
4. Decide if you want to continue with the project.
5. If continuing, set targets for the next six weeks.

This cycle of action and reflection helps you maintain focus, adapt to challenges, and stay aligned with your overall goal.

Overcoming Obstacles

As you begin taking action, you're likely to encounter obstacles. Stanier offers some strategies for dealing with common challenges:

1. Fear of failure: Remember that setbacks are part of the process. Focus on learning from mistakes rather than avoiding them.

2. Lack of motivation: Revisit your reasons for pursuing this goal. Connect with the "thrilling" aspect of your Worthy Goal to reignite your enthusiasm.

3. Overwhelm: Break tasks down into even smaller steps if necessary. Focus on one thing at a time.

4. Self-doubt: Remind yourself of past successes. Seek support from friends, family, or mentors who believe in you.

5. External setbacks: Be flexible and willing to adjust your approach. View obstacles as opportunities to problem-solve and grow.

The Importance of Consistency

Stanier emphasizes that consistent action, even if small, is more important than sporadic bursts of intense activity. Developing a routine or habit around your goal can help maintain momentum even when motivation fluctuates.

Celebrating Progress

As you take action towards your goal, it's important to acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. This positive reinforcement can help maintain motivation and build confidence.

Celebrations might include:

• Sharing achievements with supportive friends or family
• Treating yourself to something you enjoy
• Keeping a progress journal to visually see how far you've come

Adjusting Course

As you work towards your goal, you may find that your original plan needs adjustment. This is normal and expected. The six-week evaluation cycle provides regular opportunities to reassess and make necessary changes.

Be open to:

• Refining your approach based on what you've learned
• Adjusting timelines if needed
• Modifying specific aspects of your goal as you gain more insight

The Role of Accountability

Stanier suggests that sharing your goal and progress with others can help keep you accountable. This might involve:

• Finding an accountability partner
• Joining a group of like-minded individuals pursuing similar goals
• Regularly updating a mentor or coach on your progress

External accountability can provide extra motivation and support, especially during challenging times.

Conclusion: Embracing the Journey of Worthy Goals

As "How to Begin" draws to a close, Stanier reinforces the core message of the book: the importance of pursuing goals that are truly worthy of our time and effort. He emphasizes that this journey is not just about achieving a specific outcome, but about personal growth, self-discovery, and making a meaningful impact in the world.

Recap of Key Ideas

1. Worthy Goals are daunting, important, and thrilling. They push us out of our comfort zones, connect us to something larger than ourselves, and excite us on a deep level.

2. Starting with a "crappy first draft" helps overcome perfectionism and gets the process moving.

3. Stress-testing goals through the spouse-ish and Goldilocks tests helps ensure they are both personally meaningful and realistically achievable.

4. Refining goals by adding specificity and "spice" transforms vague aspirations into clear, motivating targets.

5. Evaluating the risks and rewards of pursuing a goal versus maintaining the status quo aids in making a conscious, informed decision.

6. Taking consistent action, even in small steps, is crucial for making progress and maintaining momentum.

7. Regular evaluation and adjustment help keep efforts aligned with the overall goal and allow for necessary course corrections.

The Ongoing Nature of Goal-Setting

Stanier reminds readers that setting and pursuing Worthy Goals is not a one-time event but an ongoing process. As we grow and change, our goals may evolve as well. The skills and insights gained through this process can be applied repeatedly throughout life, helping us continually align our actions with our deepest values and aspirations.

Embracing Imperfection and Growth

Throughout the book, there's an underlying theme of embracing imperfection and viewing the goal-setting process as a journey of growth. Stanier encourages readers to:

• Be kind to themselves when facing setbacks or doubts
• View challenges as opportunities for learning and development
• Celebrate progress and small wins along the way
• Remain open to adjusting goals as they gain new insights about themselves and the world

The Ripple Effect of Pursuing Worthy Goals

In the final reflections, Stanier touches on the broader impact of pursuing Worthy Goals. When individuals commit to goals that are not only personally fulfilling but also contribute positively to the world, they create a ripple effect. Their actions can inspire others, contribute to solving important problems, and help create a more purposeful and engaged society.

A Call to Action

The book concludes with a call to action, urging readers to take the first step towards identifying and pursuing their own Worthy Goals. Stanier reminds us that while the journey may be challenging, the rewards of living a life aligned with our deepest values and aspirations are immeasurable.

He encourages readers to:

1. Trust the process outlined in the book
2. Be patient with themselves as they navigate this journey
3. Remain curious and open to new possibilities
4. Seek support and community when needed
5. Remember that every small step forward is progress

Final Thoughts

"How to Begin" is more than just a guide to setting goals; it's an invitation to embark on a journey of self-discovery and meaningful action. By providing a structured yet flexible approach to identifying and pursuing Worthy Goals, Stanier empowers readers to take control of their life's direction and make the most of their time on this planet.

The book's message is clear: we owe it to ourselves to pursue goals that truly matter to us and contribute positively to the world. While the path may not always be easy, the fulfillment and growth that come from this journey are invaluable.

As readers close the book and begin applying its principles, they are equipped with tools and insights to navigate the complexities of goal-setting and achievement. More importantly, they are inspired to answer their own "call of the wild" – to step out of their comfort zones and pursue goals that are daunting, important, and thrilling.

In a world that often pushes us towards conformity and safe choices, "How to Begin" stands as a powerful reminder of the potential within each of us to chart our own course and make a meaningful impact. It challenges us to not just dream big, but to take concrete steps towards turning those dreams into reality, one Worthy Goal at a time.