How do you manage people who believe they don't need managing? By becoming a smarter leader tailored to their expectations and needs.
1. Assertiveness Leads to Respect and Results
Knowing how and when to assert yourself can determine your success as a leader. Assertiveness is not about being aggressive but about respectfully standing your ground on important matters. This encourages others to take you seriously while recognizing their own boundaries.
Angela, a senior associate aiming for a promotion, faced a test when her manager demanded she prepare his conference talk despite her own workload. Using a technique called "fogging," she acknowledged his needs but clearly explained why she couldn't comply. With mature communication and steady eye contact, Angela respected both her own priorities and her manager's authority.
Examples
- Angela prioritized her own responsibilities over pleasing an overbearing manager.
- She used assertive tone and eye contact to convey her message.
- "Fogging" allowed her to balance politeness with self-respect.
2. Listening Goes Beyond Hearing
Effective leaders don’t just hear words; they listen for meaning, intent, and feelings. Conscious listening helps uncover hidden perspectives and makes team members feel valued.
Johan, managing partner at a law firm, sought approval for a proposed acquisition. Instead of pushing his agenda, he practiced skills like paraphrasing and reflecting emotions during discussions. This built trust and allowed him to assess every viewpoint, including those of quieter staff members who he encouraged to speak up.
Examples
- Johan reflected emotions using both words and empathetic body language.
- He amplified quieter team members' voices by explicitly inviting their input.
- The team's support was higher because they felt genuinely listened to.
3. Delegating Builds Teams and Frees Leaders
Leaders who refrain from delegating not only overburden themselves but also restrict their team's growth. Effective delegation isn’t just about freeing your calendar; it’s about empowering others.
Ayesha, a skilled leader, realized her tight grip on responsibilities caused unhappiness within her team. She started sharing challenging tasks and created an agenda to balance priorities, guiding her team to improve capabilities while lessening her own workload.
Examples
- Ayesha delegated specific challenging assignments instead of mundane ones.
- Extra time invested in training team members yielded long-term returns.
- Her reputation grew as a leader who prioritizes team improvement.
4. Decision-Making Improves with Collective Input
Gathering varied perspectives before making decisions leads to smarter outcomes. This approach reduces personal bias and builds buy-in across diverse groups.
Eguono, considering a merger of his company, formed a diverse task force. They combined expertise in finance, technology, and other fields, providing him with fresh insights while ensuring transparency among his team. Even in quick decisions, focusing on core information prevents delays or indecision.
Examples
- Eguono prevented his friendship with a rival from clouding his judgment.
- Task force expertise clarified the complexities of the merger.
- Setting deadlines for quick decisions avoided delays and paralysis.
5. Adapting to Cultural Differences Strengthens Leadership
Cultural awareness allows leaders to bridge divides and motivate diverse teams. This requires putting aside personal assumptions to understand others’ values and preferences.
Peter struggled to lead a multicultural team in the UAE until he adapted his leadership approach. He learned that direct instructions worked for some colleagues, while others valued relationship-building. Flexibility and respect for unique preferences helped Peter succeed.
Examples
- Peter researched cultural practices to guide his actions.
- He balanced direct instructions with relationship-building strategies.
- Consulting experienced peers gave him actionable cultural insights.
6. Mentors Teach; Reverse Mentors Enlighten
Traditional mentoring focuses on learning from someone older and more experienced. But reverse mentoring — learning from a younger colleague — reveals trends and skills that might otherwise be overlooked.
Suki, a young architect, grew her career with help from a seasoned mentor, David. Later, she reverse-mentored David, helping him grasp social media's potential to reshape his business.
Examples
- Suki gained career insights through David’s mentorship.
- David smoothly transitioned careers using Suki’s reverse mentorship.
- Both mentor relationships were based on mutual learning and respect.
7. Collaborating on a Vision Secures Buy-In
Vision crafting isn’t a one-sided task. Teams feel motivated when involved from the start, which increases engagement and commitment to achieving goals.
Felice didn’t dictate plans for expanding his law firm into IT law; instead, he consulted team stakeholders, refined his vision based on feedback, and involved everyone in drafting a clear vision statement.
Examples
- Felice tested his ideas through open discussions with colleagues.
- A co-created vision statement helped align his team with the goal.
- Empowering others to shape execution led to shared accountability.
8. Praise Builds Momentum
To keep high-performing teams motivated, leaders must balance constructive criticism with frequent genuine praise. Positive feedback helps reinforce good behavior and bolsters morale.
As a routine, leaders like Felice make time to walk around the office offering specific positive observations rather than vague compliments. The "five praises for one criticism" guideline fosters a healthy, productive environment.
Examples
- Praising teamwork encouraged collaboration on Felice’s team.
- Public acknowledgment of good behaviors increased staff loyalty.
- Balancing criticism with praise avoided defensive reactions.
9. Deadlines Prevent Decision Paralysis
While seeking input from others improves decision-making, endless deliberation can halt progress. Setting firm deadlines for gathering input and making a choice speeds things up.
When Eguono faced tight timelines for finalizing a task force’s merger recommendations, he ensured that everyone followed clear-cut milestones, creating momentum for decision-making without overcomplication.
Examples
- Structured deadlines kept Eguono’s task force focused on priorities.
- Limiting discussions to essentials simplified complex decisions.
- Timely completion boosted the team’s confidence in their abilities.
Takeaways
- Practice active listening by paraphrasing and reflecting emotions to make others feel valued.
- Build a habit of empowering your team by sharing challenging tasks and offering growth opportunities.
- Embrace praise as a leadership tool by recognizing five positive actions for each piece of criticism.