I Know How She Does It

“Instead of believing we are strapped for time, can we rearrange our hours to achieve work/life harmony?”

1. The Myth of Being Constantly Overworked

Many working mothers feel perpetually overwhelmed, convinced their lives are entirely consumed by work. But research tells a different story. For example, the American Time Use Survey reveals that full-time working mothers average 35-44 work hours per week, leaving significant time for other priorities.

This overload often feels real because of constant interruptions that disrupt the day. Snow days, family obligations, or unexpected tasks can leave us feeling perpetually behind schedule, even if the total hours don’t add up to endless work. These interruptions give the illusion of being busier than we are.

Reframing these interruptions can help ease the stress. Instead of seeing them as setbacks, mothers can plan for flexibility and tackle challenges at a steady pace.

Examples

• Data showing working mothers have up to 68 free hours a week despite full-time jobs.
• A mother realized small interruptions like school closures shifted her perception of productivity.
• Recognizing flexible time options helped one mother enjoy her non-working hours guilt-free.

2. Flexibility Is Your Superpower

Flexibility offers working parents the chance to balance professional and family responsibilities while easing pressures on both fronts. The majority of full-time employees report having some form of flexibility at work, but many don't use it effectively.

For instance, splitting your day into shifts allows more family interaction while maintaining career productivity. Start working early before the kids wake and finish another work “shift” after bedtime. Employees working from home two days a week often find relief from commutes and more time for family.

Structured flexibility makes room for emergencies and opportunities alike. Whether it’s leaving work early for a dance recital or answering late-night emails, blending structured and fluid schedules creates a more accommodating balance.

Examples

• A mother used split shifts to attend her kids’ school events while meeting work goals.
• Work-from-home options enabled one woman to extend work hours by reducing commuting.
• Technology allowed parents to remain responsive at both work and home.

3. Work Smarter, Not Longer

The problem isn’t just long hours – it’s inefficient use of time. Starting your day with the hardest and most important task takes advantage of energy levels, which often peak in the morning.

By 8:00 a.m., you’re mentally sharpest, making this the ideal time to tackle priority tasks. Shortening meetings or skipping unnecessary ones also helps streamline your schedule. Additionally, pre-scheduling personal plans, like a weekly class or family outing, ensures you leave the office on time.

Building efficiency into your day eliminates overwhelming workloads and creates space for personal and family time.

Examples

• Johnson & Johnson’s study found 8:00 a.m. is the most productive time.
• Skipping or shortening meetings freed up hours for focused work.
• One working mom signed up for weekly swimming classes to commit to leaving work on time.

4. Planning Prevents Chaos

Proactive planning simplifies your life and prevents Monday overwhelm. Studies show Mondays are less productive because they’re often used to sort through last week’s leftover tasks.

Instead, plan your entire week on Friday afternoons. When responsibilities and priorities are clear ahead of time, the week starts on a stronger note. Also, prioritizing the parts of your job that bring the most satisfaction can help you stay motivated at work.

Evaluating your tasks to focus on meaningful work can reinvigorate your career. For example, one scientist found joy again by adjusting her schedule to spend more time in the lab rather than on administrative duties.

Examples

• Accountemps’ survey highlights Tuesday as the most productive day with pre-planning.
• A scientist reclaimed lab time to rekindle her passion for research.
• Pre-week planning reduced stress for mothers juggling work and family.

5. Enhancing Family Connections

Being present for your family means doing more engaging activities together. Sharing meals, playing outdoors, or visiting the library create more meaningful bonds than simply sitting in the same room.

Family meals don’t have to be complicated; breakfast or weekend lunches count just as much as dinner. Incorporating active, fun communal routines turns limited time into quality time. Bringing kids into work on special occasions can also help them explore and appreciate your professional life.

A conscious effort to include small, enjoyable activities enriches family ties without needing huge time investments.

Examples

• UCLA interviews found that fewer than 20% of families eat dinner together every night.
• A mom took her children to work for an inspirational field trip.
• Seasonal traditions like weekend library visits created lasting memories.

6. Romance Needs Prioritization Too

Strong romantic relationships deserve attention, even amidst hectic schedules. Plan date nights creatively; they don’t always need to fall late in the evening. A relaxed lunch or a day date can be just as enriching.

Separating relationship time from logistical discussions, such as chore planning, ensures the focus remains on the partnership. Romantic moments don’t have to be grand; even small, consistent gestures like morning cuddles or scheduled walks can rekindle closeness.

Shifting focus from the demands of life to your significant other builds a sustainable connection despite busy days.

Examples

• Couples who prioritized daytime dates found communication improved.
• Partners who reserved intentional quiet time rekindled their bond.
• One family set aside "couples-only" weekend afternoons to refresh their relationship.

7. Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations

Perfectionism can sabotage the joys of work-life balance. Allowing yourself to not sweat the small stuff – small mismatched outfits, imperfect cleaning, or unchecked task lists – creates room for joy and relaxation.

Learning to delegate can make life easier. Enlisting help through childcare, housekeeping, or grocery delivery lightens the load. Collaborating with kids on housework also teaches them responsibility.

Dropping perfection not only spares your time but also restores your mental space so you can focus on what adds value instead of busywork.

Examples

• One mother skipped enforcing matching clothes for her toddler’s school outfits.
• Hiring a cleaner gave working moms more time to relax.
• Kids took over simple tasks like dishwashing to help balance family schedules.

8. Everyone Deserves a Break

Me-time isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for emotional well-being. A quick fix is looking at TV binge-watching habits – people always seem to find time for their favorite shows. The same principle applies to hobbies, exercise, or creative activities.

Try gardening, painting, or writing – pursuits proven to offer more profound happiness than passive activities. And don’t leave vacation days unused. It’s counterproductive to save them up only to reach burnout.

Reclaiming personal leisure revitalizes your energy and prevents the likelihood of exhaustion long-term.

Examples

• Larry Kanarek observed workers resigning despite unused vacation days.
• Moms found knitting and watercolor classes restorative.
• One family scheduled monthly alone days to refresh their minds.

9. Small Steps to Big Changes

Instead of overhauling your life overnight, introduce small shifts daily. Prioritize earlier bedtimes, unplug from devices before sleep, or try 10 minutes of yoga or meditation.

Repeat attempts with even tiny adjustments. Building attainable habits eventually leads to long-term success and overall life satisfaction.

The changes don't have to be disruptive. By focusing on incremental improvements, the equation of balancing career, family, and personal needs doesn’t feel so daunting.

Examples

• A mother set a strict rule: no screen time after 10 PM for better sleep.
• Families who practiced weekend planning lowered daily chaos.
• Regular meditation turned one mom’s hectic mornings into peaceful starts.

Takeaways

1. Start your week on Friday by planning the tasks and goals for the upcoming days, relieving Monday stress.
2. Incorporate meaningful family activities like shared breakfasts or park trips instead of sticking solely to routines like dinner.
3. Create pockets of personal downtime, whether it’s for hobbies, creative pursuits, or rest, to recharge and prevent burnout.