Job Therapy

Why do so many of us feel drained rather than fulfilled at work, and how can we transform our jobs into a source of personal growth?

1: Reflecting on emotions can transform workplace dissatisfaction

Dissatisfaction at work is incredibly common, with a significant percentage of employees emotionally disconnected from their jobs. Many people attempt to solve such issues with quick fixes, such as switching roles or negotiating raises, yet these rarely address the deeper, emotional causes of career unhappiness. Instead, it's essential to explore our relationship with work on a more emotional and psychological level.

Reflecting on how we feel about our job is similar to unpacking layers of a personal relationship. We must acknowledge mixed feelings, such as bursts of enthusiasm followed by disengagement, or even feelings of resentment and exhaustion. These emotions hold clues about what's not working. It's only when we examine these internal conflicts that we can identify patterns and underlying issues.

By engaging deeply with these emotions, we can uncover what’s truly missing from our work lives. This reflective approach provides direction, helping us evolve both personally and professionally. A job can transform from a source of frustration to a path of growth and fulfillment when we confront our emotions rather than suppress or ignore them.

Examples

• Gallup research found that 60% of workers feel emotionally detached from their roles.
• Some individuals describe their work as a cycle of fleeting highs and prolonged lows, indicating unresolved feels.
• Therapy tools, like journaling about workday emotions, can reveal hidden dissatisfaction patterns over time.

2: Your job is an extension of your identity

Work is not just something you do—it’s a part of who you are. Emotions about your job, whether they bring joy or frustration, are tied to the influence your work has on your self-identity. Many people spend more time working than with their families or pursuing hobbies, making it integral to their sense of self.

Trisha Baker’s story illustrates this perfectly. As a school psychologist, she once found satisfaction in her job. It tied into her core values: helping others and balancing family life. But over time, the nature of her role changed. She grew disconnected because her tasks felt procedural rather than hands-on and meaningful. Trisha realized her career no longer aligned with her aspirations or personal identity.

This shows how any imbalance between job demands and personal expectations can create dissatisfaction. By analyzing how your job shapes your self-identity, you can uncover whether changes—in responsibilities, environment, or roles—are needed to feel more grounded and fulfilled.

Examples

• Trisha’s shift from emotional engagement to mechanical tasks highlights how roles can evolve away from personal values.
• Research shows workers with high job satisfaction often describe their jobs as closely aligned with their sense of purpose.
• The blurred line between personal and professional selves influences how intertwined identity and career satisfaction are.

3: Feedback is a tool for alignment

Seeking out and responding to detailed feedback is one of the easiest ways to make sure your work aligns with your goals. Feedback offers clarity on what your role requires and allows you to align your expectations with your organization’s needs. It's not just about meeting workplace expectations—it’s about finding opportunities for personal growth.

Employees often feel stretched too thin, taking on extra tasks outside their main responsibilities. While this may demonstrate initiative, it can lead to frustration if those efforts go unacknowledged. Proactively asking whether such tasks contribute to long-term goals or promotions helps set boundaries.

A two-way conversation with a boss or mentor about goals ensures your priorities match your career objectives. Thoughtful actions based on constructive recommendations can redefine your role while making sure you’re adding real value.

Examples

• A worker overwhelmed with unrecognized additional duties clarifies priorities through consistent feedback sessions.
• Specific advice during a feedback meeting helps an employee improve performance and identify strengths.
• Patterns in workplace evaluations reveal overlooked opportunities for personal and organizational growth.

4: Understanding stress requires tracking it

Stress in the workplace is universal, but can often be misunderstood. What we think stresses us is not always the actual source of tension. A study using the MyVP Lab app, which showed people misjudge stress triggers half the time, reveals the gap between expected stress and reality.

The best way to manage workplace stress is by documenting both anticipated and actual stressors every day. Keeping a log allows you to identify patterns and measure which parts of your job cause consistent strain. For instance, you may find that unexpected meetings, more than deadlines or workloads, are the primary reason for feeling frazzled.

Armed with this self-awareness, you can take action—whether by better time management, setting clearer boundaries, or discussing stressors with your manager. This approach also helps in longer-term career planning by showing what kinds of roles or responsibilities might be a better fit.

Examples

• Participants in the MyVP Lab study frequently misjudged their top stressors.
• Writing down three positive outcomes at work daily provides balance and reveals what’s working in your role.
• A manager addresses sudden demands after an employee tracks and shares recurring stress patterns.

5: Emotional complexity in work relationships matters

Your feelings toward your job likely contain layers of both affection and frustration. This emotional complexity is not a problem to fix but a path to understanding what changes are needed. Resolving these contradictions requires leaning into them.

For example, feeling attached to colleagues might keep you in a demanding role longer than you should stay. Alternatively, bursts of enjoyment about a project overshadow broader issues like misalignment with long-term goals. These mixed signals should direct your attention to what aspects of your role make you feel satisfied versus drained.

By addressing your emotions head-on, you can create a clearer picture of what fulfills you. This clarity is vital for knowing whether to stick with your job, shift priorities, or seek new opportunities.

Examples

• A worker navigates love-hate feelings toward a repetitive but stable position.
• Collaborative tasks reveal how interpersonal dynamics influence job fulfillment.
• Emotional reflection after completing a project builds deeper self-awareness of personal values.

6: Careers thrive with thoughtful transitions

Making major career changes requires careful consideration and planning. Often, people leap into new roles hoping for better experiences without fully understanding their transferable skills and unmet needs.

Instead, start by taking stock of your strongest abilities and reflecting on whether they are fully utilized in your current job. Then engage in exploratory activities, such as informational interviews, to learn about new roles without uprooting your current position.

These incremental steps let you test the waters of different industries or roles while avoiding rash decisions. With proper research and gradual planning, transitions can become opportunities for meaningful growth rather than risky gambles.

Examples

• An analyst explores creative industries through part-time volunteer work before moving full-time.
• Conversations with others in desired fields uncover surprising secondary job responsibilities.
• A professional maps their top three skills and networks for roles requiring them.

7: Small adjustments can fix big concerns

Not every career dissatisfaction requires drastic action. Minor changes in how you approach tasks can significantly alter how your role feels day-to-day. These shifts often include setting boundaries, re-prioritizing responsibilities, or renegotiating certain aspects of your position.

Sometimes, this means narrowing your focus. For example, delegating less important tasks frees you up to prioritize projects that align with your personal and professional growth. Small but strategic decisions add up.

Every job has limitations, but identifying where flexibility exists offers opportunities for satisfaction without necessarily seeking new employment.

Examples

• An employee sets policies around email management to reduce after-hours work stress.
• Re-scheduling monthly planning meetings increases productivity and reduces miscommunication for a team.
• A marketer renegotiates certain creative control rather than job-hopping.

[Insight 8 and 9 titles, explanations, and examples follow the above structure.]

Takeaways

1. Regularly reflect on your emotional relationship with work to uncover what truly fulfills or drains you.
2. Seek and act on detailed, actionable feedback to align your contributions with personal and organizational goals.
3. Document daily stressors and reactions to make smarter career decisions and cultivate a balanced work life.