Let That Sh*t Go Summary

"Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it." This book asks: What if happiness isn’t something to be found, but something to be uncovered by clearing mental clutter?

1. Understanding Your Chatter vs. Observer Mind

Your mind can feel like a noisy room filled with chatter, but mindfulness helps you tune into a clearer, more rational perspective. By recognizing the distinction between your "chatty mind" and your "observer mind," you gain the ability to question the endless stream of chaotic mental noise.

The chatty mind often leans into criticism, worry, or regret, dominating your thoughts with unnecessary mental clutter. Mindfulness invites you to pause and use your observer mind to create distance, much like stepping into another room to view the situation objectively. Once you identify this mental noise, you can work on silencing it.

For example, if you're beating yourself up for breaking a diet, your observer mind can reframe it by saying, "You enjoyed a treat, and one dessert won't ruin everything. Move forward differently tomorrow." This shift helps you bypass unhelpful mental loops and focus on what's within your control.

Examples

• Mentally replaying a work mistake and reminding yourself it’s a learning experience.
• Observing self-critical thoughts when looking in the mirror and replacing them with affirmations.
• Viewing someone else’s harsh words objectively instead of reacting emotionally.

2. The Power of Self-Love

Speaking kindly to yourself isn't fluff; it can impact you at the cellular level. Dr. Masaru Emoto’s study on how emotions shape water molecules shows how positive or negative words influence their structure. As humans are mostly water, self-talk shapes how you feel and act.

Negative self-talk can restrict your potential, but self-love helps you access your true self. Think of how you'd talk to a child—encouraging and gentle. Applying that kindness to yourself nourishes your emotional well-being. When your self-perception changes, so does your ability to handle challenges.

When your internal dialogue shifts from “I’m such a failure” to “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough," you begin to build resilience and confidence. With intentional self-love, you can embrace your flaws as part of your unique story.

Examples

• Replacing "I made a stupid decision" with "I’ll learn from this mistake."
• Practicing daily affirmations like “I am enough.”
• Looking in the mirror and reminding yourself what you admire about your character.

3. Practicing Authenticity

The discomfort between what you truly want and what others expect of you creates inner tension—a rock in your shoe. Authenticity means acknowledging your real desires and aligning your actions with them.

When you act authentically, not based on societal "shoulds," you remove barriers to joy. This clarity helps you see what truly adds to your fulfillment rather than going along with external pressures. Authenticity also strengthens your ability to say no to things misaligned with your values, freeing up energy for what matters most.

For instance, you may feel pressure to climb the corporate ladder but have a deep desire to work in non-profit. Embracing authenticity guides you toward what genuinely resonates with your soul, even if the path may seem untraditional.

Examples

• Skipping trendy goals in favor of those that personally excite you.
• Turning down offers that don’t align with your long-term happiness.
• Pursuing hobbies you’ve neglected due to social pressures.

4. Acceptance as a Practice

Acceptance doesn’t mean surrendering; it means releasing resistance to situations you can’t control. This mindset lets you navigate life's ups and downs while preserving your peace.

By accepting things as they are, you stop wasting energy lamenting what isn’t. Instead, you adjust expectations and approach issues with grounded solutions. Whether dealing with bad weather or interpersonal conflict, acceptance creates a mindful response instead of reactive noise.

For instance, if your dream vacation is rained out, you can decide to explore indoor activities. It isn’t the trip you imagined, but accepting the situation allows you to find joy in new ways instead of letting frustration ruin the experience.

Examples

• No longer fixating on a colleague’s bad attitude after realizing you can’t change it.
• Adjusting travel plans due to last-minute cancellations.
• Releasing tension by accepting your body's pace while recovering from illness.

5. Gaining Perspective

Perspective invites you to step back from immediate feelings and view events on a larger scale. It shrinks problems that may initially feel monumental.

Whether it's a missed promotion or a delayed flight, asking yourself, "Will this matter in a year?" often repositions the severity of the stressor. Perspective lets you see that most difficulties, while upsetting in the moment, fade with time or even present new opportunities.

For example, experiencing job rejection might sting initially but later guide you toward a better-fitting role. Perspective turns what feels like a failure into a stepping stone.

Examples

• Reframing job loss as a chance to recharge or reset your career goals.
• Remembering a minor argument won’t damage a long-term friendship.
• Viewing parenting tough days through the lens of long-term growth.

6. Clearing the Heaviness of Forgiveness

Forgiveness benefits you more than the other person. Letting go of resentment against others or yourself clears an emotional weight.

When you forgive, it doesn’t mean you agree with the harm done—it means deciding not to carry the emotional burden anymore. The author shares her experience of forgiving her father after a tragic family incident by seeking understanding and compassion for his mental health struggles.

Forgiveness allows you to reclaim mental space for peace and joy, even though the process takes time and effort.

Examples

• Writing a letter (unsent) to express your hurt feelings and then setting it aside.
• Letting go of anger toward yourself for past poor choices.
• Releasing resentment toward a friend after an apology clears the air.

7. The Present Moment is Your Power

Living in the now shifts focus from regrets about the past or worries about the future. Mindfulness integrates you into current experiences, offering more engagement and joy.

When you pay attention to your breath and surroundings in any given moment, you stop the mental loop pulling you elsewhere. This practice calms anxiety while sharpening presence, whether you're spending time with loved ones or tackling everyday tasks.

For instance, mindful eating increases meal enjoyment, and mindful listening deepens connections with others.

Examples

• Taking three deep breaths during stressful commutes.
• Practicing gratitude for your surroundings while hiking.
• Pausing to listen fully during a friend’s conversation.

8. Maintaining Mindfulness Daily

Mindfulness thrives with consistency. Setting breathing reminders or meditating regularly ensures lasting benefits.

Building mindfulness into small moments of life transforms the mundane into meaningful. Pausing to ground yourself during work or gratitude journaling each morning reinforces this habit. Mindfulness isn’t a perfect state; it’s a practice you maintain over time.

Apps or timers help beginners establish regular mindfulness practices that stick.

Examples

• Using phone alarms as reminders to breathe deeply every hour.
• Starting a five-minute daily meditation habit.
• Journaling nightly to release lingering thoughts.

9. Mindfulness in Relationships and Work

Mindful practices improve your connections by fostering patience, understanding, and clear communication. Whether resolving conflicts with a partner or leading a team at work, your presence strengthens every relationship.

When you approach interactions with empathy, boundaries, and gratitude, you stop reacting and start responding thoughtfully. Mindfulness transforms relationships into deeper sources of connection and fulfillment.

For instance, viewing disagreements as opportunities to better understand each other improves marriages while staying calm in professional negotiations yields stronger outcomes.

Examples

• Actively listening to your child’s worries instead of dismissing them.
• Setting work goals without comparing yourself to peers.
• Letting your partner's perspective guide joint decisions sensitively.

Takeaways

1. Practice self-love by replacing negative self-talk with words you'd say to a friend or child.
2. Accept what’s outside your control and reframe situations with a larger perspective.
3. Block dedicated moments each day to focus on mindfulness, such as deep breathing or meditation.