Life Worth Living

What is worth wanting? It's not just about what you desire, but discovering what truly makes life meaningful and fulfilling.

1. The Question That Shapes Life

Life’s big question isn't just "What do I want?" but rather "What is worth wanting?" This reframing asks us to move beyond fleeting desires or material gains to explore what creates a meaningful life.

To address this, we must dive deep into self-reflection—like a deep-sea dive—searching past surface-level cravings to uncover our true values and hopes. This task isn’t easy; it demands honesty and introspection. It’s about envisioning a flourishing life, one that benefits not just us but others and perhaps even the planet.

The authors argue that identifying what we value is only half the task. The greater challenge lies in ensuring our daily actions align with these values. Living authentically means consistency between our words, thoughts, and deeds.

Examples

• The phrase "Only you can prevent forest fires" illustrates how we balance responsibility to ourselves, others, and larger systems.
• Self-reflection is like a mirror: it reveals alignment or gaps between values and actions.
• Philosophers like Aristotle and theologians like St. Ignatius of Loyola have long explored living according to our principles.

2. Pleasure and Pain: Friends or Foes?

The pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain are age-old motivators, but how do they fit into a meaningful life? Thinkers like Jeremy Bentham propose that pleasure defines the good life, but others, like Oscar Wilde and the Buddha, see drawbacks to this approach.

Bentham’s philosophy, utilitarianism, measures good or bad based on whether actions create pleasure or alleviate pain. Yet, Wilde’s prison writings describe the limits of pleasure and the transformational beauty of sorrow. The Buddha goes deeper, suggesting that craving itself—a relentless attachment—is the source of unhappiness, not the absence of pleasure.

The balance may lie in what the Buddha called "the middle way," acknowledging life’s highs and lows while detaching from harmful cravings. Pleasure can be enjoyed, but overvaluing it leads to distraction, while pain can teach us profound truths when faced with acceptance.

Examples

• Bentham’s approach led to policies designed for societal happiness through reducing pain and increasing joy.
• Wilde’s shift from idolizing fame to valuing the sorrow of shared humanity reveals emotional growth.
• The Buddha’s self-discipline, then embracing moderation, exemplifies finding balance amid extremes.

3. Freedom Through Following

Religious traditions, like Islam, Judaism, and Christianity, offer guidance for the good life rooted in obedience to divine will. These teachings provide a framework anchored in moral values.

In Christianity, Paul highlighted that adhering to God’s commandments is central to a meaningful existence. Islam emphasizes an ancient oath to God, reminding believers of their innate responsibility to live in harmony with divine guidance. Such frameworks can provide clarity and relief, freeing us from personal doubt about our actions’ ethical implications.

While these traditions demand discipline, they also share hope: living meaningfully becomes achievable when we align ourselves with a purpose greater than ourselves.

Examples

• Islamic focus on humanity’s primordial oath (to recognize God as our Lord) promotes accountability throughout life’s journey.
• Jesus’s teachings in Christianity suggest love and selflessness as central to personal freedom.
• Judaism’s commandments establish a moral guide for understanding responsibility.

4. Expand Your Forest of Responsibility

The metaphor of Smokey the Bear’s forest makes us evaluate how far we extend our care and influence. Our life isn't just about personal success, but how we nurture and protect others, including nature.

Many traditional philosophies focus narrowly on personal flourishing, excluding broader communities or the natural world. However, figures like Robin Wall Kimmerer stress the importance of embracing land, animals, and natural resources as integral to a good life. This reflects Indigenous wisdom, where relationships with nature sustain well-being and unity.

The idea challenges us to grow our “forest” by considering the well-being of everything connected to our lives, from family to future generations — and even non-human life forms.

Examples

• Aristotle’s individualistic focus contrasts sharply with ancient Indigenous views that stress living cooperatively with nature.
• The Native American ethos to respect what sustains us amplifies the idea of communal responsibility.
• Overconsumption and its impact, as seen during the exploitation of North America, show the dangers of self-centered values.

5. Life and Death: The Transformative Tension

The question isn't just about living—it’s also about dying. For some, death inspires urgency and gives life meaning. For others, like Buddhists, the line between life and death fades altogether.

Western philosophers like Martha Nussbaum propose that life’s finitude gives it urgency: the knowledge of eventual death pushes us to live fully and intentionally. Meanwhile, Buddhist teachings, as shared by Thich Nhat Hanh, emphasize that birth and death are part of a flow, not endpoints.

Different beliefs about death shape how we live. Whether it’s valuing life’s fleeting moments or seeing ourselves as part of an eternal transformation, these ideas can help us decide what matters.

Examples

• C.S. Lewis viewed death as proof of life’s weight and purpose.
• Hamlet’s soliloquy debates existence’s burdens, but Buddhists embrace both being and non-being without conflict.
• The shared Hindu and Buddhist belief of "constant transformation" supports peaceful acceptance of life cycles.

6. The Transformative Power of Sorrow

Pain and sorrow aren’t obstacles but transformative tools. Oscar Wilde’s prison reflections reframe sadness as connecting us to life’s beauty.

Instead of shunning sorrow, Wilde highlighted how facing it nourished growth, grounding him in empathy and truth. Buddhist detachment adds another layer, advising acceptance of pain without resistance, so it no longer leads to suffering.

By recognizing sorrow’s presence in everyday life, we open the door to understanding life’s deeper truths.

Examples

• Wilde called sorrow “the supreme emotion” and credited it for his profound personal transformation.
• Buddha’s teachings offer tools to separate pain’s physical reality from psychological suffering.
• Everyday heartbreak, like losing a job or ending a relationship, often leads to new growth.

7. Ritual and Community Support Change

Personal vision requires commitment, and maintaining this change can be daunting. Communities and rituals can offer vital support.

Alcoholics Anonymous, for example, highlights how mutual support in small groups fosters lasting transformation under challenging circumstances. Additionally, rituals, whether religious or personal, can sustain focus and provide stability amidst life’s chaos.

Even small daily actions, like meditative prayers, amplify our ability to stay aligned with a more purposeful and fulfilling life.

Examples

• Alcoholics Anonymous sponsors offer accountability to fellow members.
• Religious practices, like the Christian Eucharist or Islamic Salah, anchor believers in gratitude.
• Meditation tools, such as St. Ignatius’s examen, provide daily opportunities to take stock and recalibrate.

8. Tools for Reflection: The Examen

The examen is a remarkable method from Christian tradition for maintaining self-awareness and gratitude. St. Ignatius of Loyola’s practice combines prayer and reflection.

Each evening, participants acknowledge good moments, reflect on their day’s actions, seek forgiveness for missteps, and ask for guidance tomorrow. This five-part ritual fosters ongoing improvement and gratitude.

While rooted in theology, the examen appeals to anyone seeking sustained mindfulness in their life practice.

Examples

• Gratitude as the examen’s foundation shifts focus toward life’s positive aspects.
• Reflecting on mistakes helps align behavior to values, similar to meditation in Buddhism.
• Asking for forgiveness and tomorrow’s guidance strengthens personal evolution.

9. Living What You Believe

Understanding values isn’t enough; living them fully is where fulfillment starts. This requires bravery to confront entrenched habits and the discipline to prioritize daily choices that reflect our ideals.

Change may be hard, but with effort and support structures in place, the good life becomes attainable. It’s about translating philosophical clarity into practical, everyday living.

Examples

• Lifestyle changes may force difficult decisions, like quitting harmful relationships or unfulfilling jobs.
• Community efforts or prayer practices offer motivation during challenging transitions.
• Simple actions—recycling regularly, helping neighbors—exemplify alignment between belief and behavior.

Takeaways

1. Reflect on what is worth wanting in life, prioritizing long-term meaning over fleeting desires.
2. Foster supportive communities or traditions to sustain focus and motivation for living the life you envision.
3. Embrace daily rituals like meditation or the Ignatian examen to reflect on values and goals consistently.