Meditation has come a long way in recent years. Once seen as a fringe practice for monks and hippies, it has now entered the mainstream. Doctors recommend it to patients, celebrities promote meditation apps, and even high-powered executives are embracing mindfulness techniques. But for many people, meditation still seems inaccessible or impractical. They may think they're too fidgety, too busy, or too skeptical for it to work.
Dan Harris, the author of "Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics," was once one of those skeptics. As a fast-paced news anchor, he never imagined he'd become an advocate for meditation. But after experiencing a panic attack on live television, Harris realized he needed to make some changes in his life. His journey led him to discover the scientifically-proven benefits of meditation, and he's now on a mission to help others overcome their doubts and experience these benefits for themselves.
This book serves as a practical guide for anyone interested in starting a meditation practice, especially those who may be hesitant or skeptical. Harris, along with meditation teacher Jeff Warren, offers simple techniques, addresses common concerns, and provides evidence-based reasons for giving meditation a try. Whether you're a busy professional, a stressed-out parent, or just someone looking to improve their mental well-being, this book aims to show you that meditation is more accessible and beneficial than you might think.
The Wake-Up Call
For Dan Harris, the journey to meditation began with a very public wake-up call. In 2004, while working as an anchorman for ABC News, Harris experienced a panic attack live on air in front of five million viewers. He began to stutter and slur his words, unable to continue the broadcast. This embarrassing and frightening incident was the culmination of years of unaddressed stress and anxiety.
Harris had spent years reporting from war zones, witnessing horrific events that had taken a toll on his mental health. Without realizing it, he had sunk into a state of depression. The symptoms were there - difficulty getting out of bed, a constant feverish feeling - but in the fast-paced world of news journalism, he had failed to recognize or address them. In an attempt to cope, Harris had briefly turned to cocaine and ecstasy, further exacerbating his problems.
The on-air panic attack served as Harris's rock bottom moment. It forced him to confront the issues he had been ignoring and seek out ways to improve his mental health. This search led him to meditation, a practice he had previously dismissed as new age nonsense.
Initially skeptical, Harris was surprised to find a wealth of scientific evidence supporting the benefits of meditation. Research showed that regular meditation practice could:
- Reduce stress and anxiety
- Lower blood pressure
- Help people recover from depression and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- Strengthen the immune system
- Rewire the brain to improve self-awareness, endurance, and compassion
These findings challenged Harris's preconceptions about meditation and sparked his interest in exploring the practice further. His personal experience serves as a powerful reminder that sometimes, our lowest moments can lead us to unexpected solutions and positive life changes.
Getting Started with Meditation
For those new to meditation, the prospect of sitting still and quieting the mind can seem daunting. Harris and Warren offer practical advice for getting started, emphasizing that meditation is about finding inner peace through focus, not achieving some perfect state of zen.
Finding Comfort
The first step in any meditation practice is getting comfortable. This doesn't mean you need a special cushion or a dedicated meditation room. Simply find a comfortable chair or spot where you can sit with a straight spine. Take a few deep breaths and allow your body to settle.
Starting Small
For beginners, it's best to start with short meditation sessions, typically 5-10 minutes. The authors stress the importance of having a positive, easy-going attitude when beginning a meditation practice. Leave behind any competitive feelings or preconceived notions of what meditation should be like.
Dealing with Distractions
It's normal for beginners to find it difficult to sit quietly and peacefully. You might get annoyed by external noises or easily distracted by your own thoughts. The key is not to get discouraged. Remember, there's no "right" or "wrong" way to meditate. If you find yourself getting fidgety or distracted, simply acknowledge it and gently bring your attention back to your focus point.
Focusing on a Sensation
The core of meditation practice is focusing your attention on a single sensation. The most common and traditional focus point is the breath. Without trying to change your natural breathing rhythm, simply pay attention to the sensation of breathing. Notice how the air enters through your nose, moves to your lungs, and how your chest or stomach expands and contracts.
You can make this focus more concrete by silently noting each breath, saying "in" for each inhalation and "out" for each exhalation. Alternatively, you can count your breaths, starting over each time you reach ten.
While breath is a common focus point, it's not the only option. You can choose to focus on whatever sensation works best for you. This could be the sound of a ticking clock, the sight of a candle flame, the feeling of your body against the chair, or your feet against the floor.
Cultivating Enjoyment
As you focus on your chosen sensation, try to approach it with a sense of enjoyment. Think of each breath or moment of focus as something to be savored, much like you might enjoy each bite of a delicious meal or each sip of a favorite beverage.
By starting with these simple techniques and approaching meditation with an open and positive attitude, even the most fidgety skeptics can begin to experience the benefits of a regular practice.
Making Meditation a Habit
One of the most common concerns people have about meditation is finding the time to practice regularly. Many assume that meditation requires long periods of uninterrupted silence, which can seem impossible to fit into a busy schedule. However, Harris and Warren argue that forming a meditation habit doesn't have to be time-consuming or difficult.
The Power of One Minute
The authors emphasize that even just one minute of meditation can be beneficial. They encourage readers to start with these short "meditation minutes" throughout the day. These brief moments of mindfulness can be easily incorporated into daily routines:
- After brushing your teeth
- Following your first cup of coffee
- During your commute on public transportation
A simple one-minute meditation technique they recommend is the "ten breaths meditation." Wherever you are, take ten long, deep breaths, silently counting each one. This quick exercise can help shift your attention away from worries or preoccupations, providing a moment of calm in a busy day.
Gradual Increase
While starting with short meditations is key, many people find that these brief sessions naturally lead to longer ones over time. What begins as one minute today might evolve into five minutes tomorrow, and potentially ten or fifteen minutes a few weeks later.
This gradual increase often happens because people begin to experience the benefits of meditation and want more. They move from extrinsic motivation ("I should meditate") to intrinsic motivation ("I enjoy meditating"). This shift in perspective makes it much more likely that meditation will become a regular, sustainable part of one's life.
Finding Your Meditation Time
The authors suggest looking for natural pauses in your day where you can incorporate meditation. This might be:
- First thing in the morning before starting your day
- During a lunch break
- In the evening as a way to unwind from work
The key is to find a time that works consistently with your schedule and lifestyle. Consistency is more important than duration, especially when you're first establishing the habit.
Overcoming Obstacles
Even with the best intentions, obstacles can arise when trying to establish a meditation habit. Some common challenges include:
Forgetting to meditate: Set reminders on your phone or link meditation to an existing habit (like having your morning coffee).
Feeling too busy: Remember that even one minute counts. On particularly hectic days, a few deep breaths can still make a difference.
Inconsistent results: Some days, meditation will feel easier or more rewarding than others. This is normal. The benefits of meditation often accumulate over time, even when individual sessions feel unremarkable.
Doubt and skepticism: It's natural to question whether meditation is "working." Trust in the process and the scientific evidence supporting meditation's benefits.
By starting small, gradually increasing practice time, finding consistent moments in your day, and persevering through challenges, even the busiest and most skeptical individuals can develop a sustainable meditation habit.
The Mainstream Acceptance of Meditation
While meditation has gained significant popularity in recent years, it hasn't always been widely accepted, especially in more conservative or traditional circles. Harris and Warren discuss the journey of meditation from a fringe practice to a mainstream wellness tool, highlighting some key figures and institutions that have helped drive this change.
Meditation in Politics
One unexpected advocate for meditation is Congressman Tim Ryan. In his book "A Mindful Nation," Ryan promotes the benefits of meditation not just for individuals, but for the nation as a whole. He argues that mindfulness practices could lead to better governmental policies on issues ranging from education to health insurance and military training.
Ryan has taken concrete steps to promote meditation:
- Started a meditation group near Capitol Hill
- Convinced a public school in his home state of Ohio to implement mindfulness exercises in the classroom
- Advocates for meditation and mindfulness training for soldiers
While Ryan has faced some resistance, he's armed himself with statistics and compelling arguments to counter skepticism. For instance, to parents concerned about religious implications, he points out that mindfulness is not forbidden by any religion and is not inherently spiritual. He also presents scientific evidence showing the benefits of meditation for developing healthy brains in children.
Meditation in Business
The business world, traditionally resistant to practices perceived as "soft" or "new age," has also begun to embrace meditation. Many high-profile companies now offer meditation and mindfulness programs to their employees. For example:
- Google offers meditation classes to employees, which have reportedly reduced stress levels by 19%
- Apple, Nike, and Procter & Gamble have all implemented mindfulness programs
- Many CEOs and business leaders, including the late Steve Jobs, have publicly endorsed meditation
The acceptance of meditation in the corporate world has been driven by research showing its benefits for productivity, creativity, and stress reduction in the workplace.
Meditation in Sports
The world of sports, where mental toughness is crucial, has also seen a growing acceptance of meditation. Notable athletes who practice meditation include:
- Novak Djokovic, tennis champion
- Kobe Bryant, former NBA player
- Russell Wilson, NFL quarterback
These high-performing athletes credit meditation with improving their focus, reducing performance anxiety, and enhancing their overall game.
Overcoming Stigma
Despite its growing acceptance, some people still hesitate to try meditation due to concerns about what others might think. To counter this, Harris and Warren suggest:
Focusing on the scientific evidence: Emphasize the research-backed benefits of meditation rather than any spiritual or mystical aspects.
Highlighting successful practitioners: Point to respected figures in various fields who meditate regularly.
Framing meditation as a performance tool: Present it as a practice for improving focus, productivity, and stress management rather than a spiritual or religious activity.
Starting small and private: Begin with short, private sessions until you feel more comfortable with the practice.
The mainstreaming of meditation represents a significant shift in how we approach mental health and personal development. As more influential figures and institutions embrace the practice, it becomes increasingly accessible and acceptable for everyone. This growing acceptance paves the way for more people to experience the benefits of meditation without fear of judgment or stigma.
Advanced Meditation Techniques
As practitioners become more comfortable with basic meditation techniques, they may want to explore more advanced practices. Harris and Warren introduce several techniques that can deepen one's meditation practice and provide additional benefits.
The Two-Hour Meditation
While the idea of a two-hour meditation might seem daunting, the authors present it as a luxurious opportunity for relaxation rather than a grueling exercise. Here's how it works:
- Lie down comfortably on your back, either on the floor, bed, or couch.
- Close your eyes and take deep breaths, allowing your body to relax gradually.
- Imagine yourself sinking into the surface beneath you, letting go of all tension.
- Continue this process of relaxation and letting go for the full two hours.
Key points about this meditation:
- It's very flexible - you can have soft music or even the TV on in the background if you prefer.
- If you fall asleep, that's okay - there are no strict rules.
- If your mind wanders, gently bring it back to the sensation of relaxation.
This meditation serves as a "free pass" to be lazy and fully relax, which can be deeply rejuvenating in our often overscheduled lives.
Companion Meditation
This is a variation of the two-hour meditation that involves a companion - either a pet, close friend, or partner. The process is similar:
- Lie down next to your companion.
- Use the proximity of the other body to heighten your focus on your own sensations.
- You can focus on the connection to your companion's body or the slight movements caused by their breathing.
This meditation can help cultivate deeper feelings of compassion and love towards both your companion and yourself. It's important not to force these feelings, but rather be open to them as they arise naturally.
The R.A.I.N. Method
This is a technique for dealing with difficult emotions that may arise during meditation. R.A.I.N. stands for:
- Recognize: Identify the emotion and its physical sensations.
- Accept: Allow yourself to have and feel the emotion without judgment.
- Investigate: Try to understand the origins of this feeling.
- Non-identification: Remember that you are not defined by your emotions; they are temporary experiences.
This method helps practitioners face and process their emotions rather than avoiding or suppressing them.
The S.U.R.F. Technique
Designed for high-pressure situations, the S.U.R.F. technique is particularly useful for those in stressful jobs. It stands for:
- Stop: Pause before reacting to a stressful situation.
- Understand: Recognize the emotion or urge driving you.
- Relax: Instead of giving in to the urge, respond with calm.
- Freedom: Embrace the fact that you're in control of your reactions.
This quick meditation can help prevent impulsive reactions and promote more thoughtful responses in challenging situations.
Meditating on Nothing
As an advanced practice, the authors suggest trying to meditate on absolutely nothing. This involves:
- Gradually making the sensation you focus on more and more subtle.
- Eventually letting go of all focus points and simply being present.
This practice can be challenging and may lead to initial frustration as the mind rebels against the lack of focus. However, it can also be deeply rewarding as it cultivates a state of pure awareness.
These advanced techniques offer ways to deepen and expand one's meditation practice. They provide tools for relaxation, emotional processing, stress management, and cultivating deeper states of awareness. As with all meditation practices, the key is to approach these techniques with patience, curiosity, and a non-judgmental attitude.
The Benefits of Meditation
Throughout the book, Harris and Warren emphasize the wide-ranging benefits of regular meditation practice. These benefits are supported by a growing body of scientific research and anecdotal evidence from practitioners across various fields.
Stress Reduction
One of the most well-known benefits of meditation is its ability to reduce stress. Regular practice has been shown to:
- Lower levels of cortisol, the stress hormone
- Decrease symptoms of anxiety and depression
- Improve overall emotional regulation
For example, police officers in El Cerrito, California, who implemented a meditation practice reported recovering faster from difficult incidents and bringing less stress home, leading to a calmer family life.
Improved Focus and Productivity
Meditation can enhance cognitive functions, leading to:
- Better concentration and attention span
- Increased productivity
- Enhanced problem-solving skills
Many businesses have recognized these benefits, with companies like Google reporting a 19% reduction in stress levels among employees who participated in meditation classes.
Physical Health Benefits
Beyond mental and emotional benefits, meditation can also positively impact physical health:
- Lowering blood pressure
- Strengthening the immune system
- Improving sleep quality
- Reducing chronic pain
These physical benefits often complement the mental and emotional improvements, contributing to overall well-being.
Enhanced Self-Awareness
Regular meditation practice can lead to greater self-awareness and emotional intelligence:
- Better understanding of one's thoughts and emotions
- Increased ability to regulate emotional responses
- Greater empathy and compassion for others
This enhanced self-awareness can lead to improved relationships and better decision-making in both personal and professional contexts.
Resilience and Coping Skills
Meditation equips practitioners with tools to better handle life's challenges:
- Improved ability to cope with stress and adversity
- Greater emotional resilience
- Enhanced ability to navigate difficult situations calmly
For those in high-stress professions, like first responders or military personnel, these skills can be particularly valuable.
Creativity and Innovation
Many practitioners report that meditation enhances their creative thinking:
- Increased ability to think "outside the box"
- Enhanced problem-solving skills
- Greater access to intuitive insights
This aspect of meditation has made it popular among artists, writers, and innovators in various fields.
Improved Relationships
The self-awareness and emotional regulation fostered by meditation often lead to better interpersonal relationships:
- Increased patience and understanding
- Better communication skills
- Greater empathy and compassion
These improvements can benefit both personal and professional relationships.
Long-Term Brain Changes
Neuroscientific research has shown that regular meditation practice can lead to structural changes in the brain:
- Increased gray matter in areas associated with learning, memory, and emotional regulation
- Reduced activity in the "default mode network," associated with mind-wandering and self-referential thoughts
- Enhanced connectivity between different areas of the brain
These changes suggest that meditation can have lasting positive effects on brain function and structure.
Spiritual Growth
While not everyone approaches meditation from a spiritual perspective, many practitioners report experiences of:
- Increased sense of connection to others and the world
- Greater sense of purpose and meaning
- Deepened spiritual awareness or insights
It's important to note that these spiritual benefits can be experienced regardless of one's religious beliefs or lack thereof.
The authors emphasize that while these benefits are impressive, they often accumulate gradually over time with consistent practice. They encourage readers to approach meditation with patience and consistency, understanding that the full range of benefits may not be immediately apparent but can have a profound impact on one's life over time.
Overcoming Common Obstacles
Even with all the potential benefits, many people still struggle to establish a regular meditation practice. Harris and Warren address several common obstacles and provide strategies for overcoming them.
"I Don't Have Time"
This is perhaps the most common excuse for not meditating. The authors suggest:
- Start with just one minute a day
- Integrate meditation into existing routines (e.g., right after brushing teeth)
- Use "transition times" like commutes for brief meditations
- Remember that consistency is more important than duration
"My Mind Is Too Busy"
Many beginners feel frustrated when they can't quiet their thoughts. The authors remind readers:
- A busy mind is normal and doesn't mean you're "bad" at meditation
- The goal isn't to eliminate thoughts, but to observe them without judgment
- Each time you notice your mind wandering and bring it back to focus, you're strengthening your meditation "muscle"
"I'm Too Fidgety"
For those who struggle to sit still, the authors suggest:
- Try walking meditation or other forms of moving meditation
- Start with shorter sessions and gradually increase duration
- Use guided meditations that give your mind something to focus on
"I'm Not Seeing Results"
Some people give up when they don't experience immediate benefits. The authors advise:
- Be patient - many benefits accumulate over time
- Keep a meditation journal to track subtle changes
- Focus on the process rather than specific outcomes
"I'm Too Stressed/Anxious to Meditate"
Paradoxically, those who might benefit most from meditation often feel too overwhelmed to start. Suggestions include:
- Start with very short sessions (even 30 seconds)
- Use guided meditations specifically designed for anxiety
- Remember that meditation is a tool for managing stress, not eliminating it entirely
"I'm Not Spiritual/Religious"
For those who associate meditation with spirituality or religion, the authors emphasize:
- Meditation can be entirely secular
- Focus on the scientifically-proven benefits
- Choose techniques that align with your personal beliefs and comfort level
"I Can't Find a Quiet Place"
In a busy household or noisy environment, finding silence can be challenging. The authors suggest:
- Use noise-cancelling headphones
- Incorporate background noise into your meditation focus
- Meditate during quieter times of day (early morning or late evening)
"I Keep Forgetting to Meditate"
Establishing a new habit can be challenging. Strategies include:
- Set reminders on your phone
- Link meditation to an existing habit (e.g., after your morning coffee)
- Use a meditation app that sends daily reminders
"I Feel Guilty Taking Time for Myself"
Some people, especially parents or caregivers, struggle with dedicating time to self-care. The authors remind readers:
- Self-care is crucial for being able to care for others
- Even short meditations can make you more present and patient in your relationships
- Think of meditation as a way to "recharge your batteries"
"I'm Not Sure If I'm Doing It Right"
Many beginners worry about their technique. The authors emphasize:
- There's no "perfect" way to meditate
- The key is consistency, not perfection
- Consider taking a class or using guided meditations for more structure
By addressing these common obstacles, Harris and Warren aim to make meditation more accessible to everyone, regardless of their background or circumstances. They emphasize that the key to overcoming these challenges is often a combination of patience, flexibility, and a willingness to experiment with different approaches until you find what works best for you.
Conclusion: Embracing the Journey
As Harris and Warren wrap up their guide to meditation for fidgety skeptics, they emphasize several key points:
Meditation is for Everyone
The authors stress that meditation is not just for monks, hippies, or those with naturally calm dispositions. It's a practical tool that can benefit anyone, regardless of their background, profession, or personality type. Even the most fidgety, skeptical, or busy individuals can find value in a regular meditation practice.
Start Small and Be Consistent
The key to successful meditation is not lengthy sessions or perfect technique, but rather consistency. Starting with just a minute or two each day and gradually building up can lead to significant benefits over time. The authors encourage readers to focus on making meditation a regular habit rather than striving for lengthy or "perfect" sessions.
Embrace Imperfection
There's no such thing as a "perfect" meditation session. The mind will wander, distractions will occur, and some days will feel more challenging than others. This is all part of the process. The authors remind readers that each time you notice your mind wandering and bring it back to focus, you're strengthening your meditation skills.
Stay Attuned to the Benefits
To maintain motivation, it's important to stay aware of the positive changes that meditation brings to your life. These might be subtle at first - perhaps you're a bit more patient in traffic or slightly less reactive to stress at work. Over time, these small changes can accumulate into significant improvements in well-being.
Experiment and Find What Works for You
There's no one-size-fits-all approach to meditation. The authors encourage readers to experiment with different techniques, times of day, and settings to find what works best for them. Whether it's a traditional sitting meditation, a walking meditation, or a brief mindfulness exercise during your commute, the best meditation practice is the one you'll actually do consistently.
Use Meditation as a Tool, Not a Goal
While regular practice is important, the authors caution against turning meditation into another source of stress or obligation. Instead, view it as a flexible tool to enhance your well-being and navigate life's challenges more effectively.
Continue Learning and Growing
The journey of meditation is ongoing. As you become more comfortable with basic practices, don't be afraid to explore more advanced techniques or delve deeper into the philosophy behind meditation. There's always more to learn and experience.
Share the Benefits
As you experience the positive effects of meditation, consider sharing your experiences with others. By discussing the practical benefits you've noticed, you might inspire friends, family, or colleagues to give meditation a try.
In closing, Harris and Warren remind readers that meditation is not about achieving some perfect state of calm or eliminating all stress from life. Rather, it's about developing a more mindful, aware, and resilient approach to whatever life brings. By starting small, staying consistent, and approaching the practice with curiosity and openness, even the most fidgety skeptics can discover the transformative power of meditation.
The authors hope that by demystifying meditation and providing practical, accessible techniques, they've opened the door for more people to experience its benefits. Whether you're looking to reduce stress, improve focus, enhance creativity, or simply find a moment of calm in a busy day, meditation offers a powerful tool for improving your overall well-being and quality of life.