Introduction
In a world where we're constantly bombarded with messages to chase our dreams, find our calling, and achieve greatness, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and stressed. Jordan Lee Dooley's book "Own Your Everyday" offers a refreshing perspective on finding purpose and meaning in life without succumbing to the pressures of societal expectations.
This book summary will explore Dooley's key ideas and provide practical advice for tackling life's challenges, embracing your true self, and finding purpose in the everyday moments. Through personal anecdotes and actionable strategies, Dooley encourages readers to stop focusing on proving themselves to the world and instead concentrate on discovering who they truly are.
Tackling Deep-Rooted Problems
One of the central themes in "Own Your Everyday" is the importance of addressing problems at their core rather than simply covering them up on the surface. Dooley uses her personal struggle with acne as a metaphor for this concept.
The Acne Analogy
As a teenager and young adult, Dooley battled severe acne. She initially tried to hide her skin problems with makeup, thinking that covering up the imperfections was the best solution. However, when she finally sought medical help, her doctor revealed a crucial truth: tackling the surface-level issue wasn't solving the underlying problem and might even be making it worse.
Applying the Lesson to Life
This experience taught Dooley a valuable lesson that applies to many aspects of life. Often, we try to cover up our insecurities, flaws, and problems instead of addressing them head-on. However, this approach only allows these issues to linger and potentially become more damaging over time.
Embracing Your True Self
To find genuine purpose and confidence, Dooley argues that we need to be brave enough to face the full truth of who we are. This means embracing both our strengths and weaknesses, rather than trying to present a perfect facade to the world.
The 30-Day Self-Criticism Challenge
To help readers build true confidence from within, Dooley proposes a 30-day challenge:
- Commit to stop criticizing yourself for 30 days.
- Avoid negative self-talk and identifying flaws in every photo or situation.
- Follow this rule: If you wouldn't say something to a friend, don't say it about yourself.
By focusing on self-acceptance and positive self-talk, readers can begin to embrace their whole, true selves – the foundation for discovering their purpose.
Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone
Another key idea in "Own Your Everyday" is the importance of pushing beyond your comfort zone to live a meaningful life. Dooley shares her personal experiences with imposter syndrome and how she overcame it to pursue her passions.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
Throughout her career, Dooley struggled with feeling like a fraud. Even as her Etsy store gained success and her social media following grew, she hesitated to show her face in posts, fearing that people would unfollow her if they knew how young and inexperienced she was.
The Danger of Giving In
Dooley emphasizes that giving in to imposter syndrome and refusing to try new things can prevent us from fully living out our intended purpose in life. To break free from this cycle, she offers two main pieces of advice:
Let go of expectations: Often, we do things simply because we think we should or because others expect us to. Dooley encourages readers to question these expectations and make choices that align with their true desires and passions.
Take small steps: Instead of trying to figure everything out upfront, focus on taking small, manageable steps towards your goals. This approach makes it easier to step out of your comfort zone and start pursuing your dreams.
The Power of Baby Steps
Dooley's own journey illustrates the effectiveness of taking small steps. When she started her Etsy store, she didn't create a detailed five-year business plan. Instead, she took one step at a time – learning about Etsy, buying supplies, and making her first sale. This gradual approach allowed her to build confidence and momentum without feeling overwhelmed.
Embracing Disappointment as a Positive Force
One of the most powerful lessons in "Own Your Everyday" is the idea that disappointment, while difficult, can be a catalyst for growth and new opportunities. Dooley shares the story of her husband Matt's dream of an NFL career falling through and how this experience shaped their lives in unexpected ways.
The Sting of Disappointment
When Matt's NFL dreams didn't materialize on draft day, the couple faced a crushing disappointment. Their carefully planned future suddenly seemed uncertain, and they had to grapple with the pain of shattered dreams.
Shifting Mindsets
Dooley emphasizes the importance of changing how we view disappointments. Instead of saying things "didn't work out," she suggests reframing the situation as things working out exactly as they were meant to, even if we can't see it at the time.
New Possibilities Born from Disappointment
Looking back, Dooley recognizes that their initial disappointment led to unexpected blessings:
- They were able to spend precious time with Matt's father before he passed away.
- Dooley had the opportunity to write her book.
- They discovered new paths and opportunities they might have missed otherwise.
The Hardest Lessons are Often the Most Important
Dooley shares a powerful message she once received: "The most important lessons in life are the hardest ones to learn." This sentiment encapsulates the idea that while disappointment is painful, it often leads to profound personal growth and new directions in life.
Overcoming Comparison-Induced Pressure
A significant source of stress and anxiety in modern life comes from constantly comparing ourselves to others. Dooley addresses this issue head-on in "Own Your Everyday," offering strategies to reduce the pressure we put on ourselves through comparison.
The Treadmill of Comparison
Dooley uses the analogy of running on a treadmill to illustrate the futility of constant comparison. Just as running on a treadmill doesn't actually get you anywhere, living in a state of comparison keeps you constantly trying to outpace others without making meaningful progress in your own life.
Focusing on Your "Why"
To combat comparison-induced pressure, Dooley suggests focusing on your personal motivations – your "Why." For example:
- At the gym: Remember that you're there for your health, not to compete with others.
- In business: Focus on providing for your family or making a difference, rather than showing off on social media.
By keeping your true motivations in mind, you can redirect your energy away from comparison and towards your genuine purpose.
Replacing Jealousy with Joy
Dooley shares a personal strategy she developed to overcome jealousy:
- Commit to matching any jealous thought with two positive, joyful thoughts.
- These positive thoughts can be about the person you're comparing yourself to or about yourself.
This practice helps shift your mindset from envy to appreciation, both for others' achievements and for your own unique qualities.
Conquering Distraction
In today's information-rich world, distractions are everywhere. Dooley argues that these distractions are one of the biggest barriers to living a purposeful life, as they make it difficult to focus on what truly matters.
Identifying Your Distractions
The first step in conquering distraction is to recognize your personal weak spots. What do you turn to when you're feeling overwhelmed or avoiding a difficult task? Common distractions might include:
- Scrolling through social media
- Binge-watching TV shows
- Online shopping
- Excessive gaming
The Danger of Default Distractions
Dooley warns that these default distractions lead to a passive life. The more distracted we are, the less purposeful and active we become in pursuing our goals and living out our values.
The 10-10-10 Rule
To help readers make better decisions about how to spend their time, Dooley introduces the 10-10-10 rule, developed by author Suzy Welch. This decision-making framework involves considering the consequences of your choices:
- In 10 minutes
- In 10 weeks
- In 10 years
By applying this rule, you can more easily see the long-term impact of giving in to distractions versus pursuing more meaningful activities.
Practical Application
The next time you're tempted to choose a distraction over a more purposeful activity, pause and apply the 10-10-10 rule. This can help you stay focused on what truly matters and avoid getting sidetracked by short-term gratification.
Redefining Success
A central message in "Own Your Everyday" is the importance of redefining success on your own terms, rather than conforming to societal expectations or social media ideals.
The Pressure to Succeed
Dooley acknowledges the immense pressure many people, especially young women, feel to be successful in all areas of life. This pressure often comes from:
- Social media influencers and #GirlBoss culture
- Societal expectations
- Personal ambitions and goals
True Success vs. External Validation
Dooley argues that true success isn't about:
- Sharing perfect selfies from a dream job
- Leading multi-million dollar companies
- Appearing to "have it all together"
Instead, she defines success as living in alignment with who you were created to be and showing up for your life every day, regardless of external recognition.
Practical Success Redefinition
To help readers redefine success in their own lives, Dooley suggests setting daily goals that reflect their true values and aspirations:
- Start with big-picture dreams and goals.
- Break these down into small, daily actions that contribute to your overall purpose.
Example Daily Goals
Dooley shares some of her own daily goals as inspiration:
- Staying off her phone and spending quality time with her husband after 6 p.m.
- Moving her body for 30 minutes
- Taking time to talk to God
- Writing 1,000 words
By focusing on these small, meaningful actions, Dooley argues that we can achieve a sense of success and purpose every day, rather than constantly chasing external validation.
Embracing Your Unique Journey
Throughout "Own Your Everyday," Dooley emphasizes the importance of embracing your individual path and not comparing it to others'. She encourages readers to recognize that everyone's journey is different and that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to success or purpose.
Celebrating Small Victories
One way to embrace your unique journey is to celebrate the small victories along the way. These might include:
- Completing a challenging task at work
- Showing kindness to a stranger
- Making progress on a personal project
- Overcoming a fear or insecurity
By acknowledging and appreciating these small wins, you can build confidence and momentum in pursuing your larger goals.
Learning from Setbacks
Dooley also emphasizes the importance of viewing setbacks as learning opportunities rather than failures. When faced with obstacles or disappointments, she encourages readers to:
- Reflect on the experience
- Identify lessons learned
- Adjust your approach moving forward
- Use the setback as motivation to keep pushing forward
Finding Purpose in the Everyday
A key message in the book is that purpose isn't always found in grand gestures or major life events. Often, it's in the small, everyday moments that we find our true calling. Dooley encourages readers to:
- Pay attention to the tasks or activities that bring them joy
- Notice when they feel most fulfilled or energized
- Identify ways to incorporate these elements into their daily lives
By focusing on finding purpose in the everyday, readers can cultivate a sense of meaning and satisfaction that isn't dependent on achieving specific milestones or meeting external expectations.
Building a Supportive Community
Another important aspect of owning your everyday life is surrounding yourself with a supportive community. Dooley recognizes the impact that our social circles can have on our mindset and ability to pursue our goals.
Assessing Your Current Circle
Dooley suggests taking a close look at the people you spend the most time with and asking yourself:
- Do they encourage and support your dreams?
- Do they challenge you to grow and improve?
- Do they celebrate your successes without jealousy?
- Do they offer constructive feedback and honest opinions?
Cultivating Meaningful Relationships
To build a more supportive community, Dooley recommends:
- Seeking out people who share your values and aspirations
- Being vulnerable and authentic in your interactions
- Offering support and encouragement to others
- Participating in groups or activities related to your interests and goals
The Power of Mentorship
Dooley also emphasizes the value of finding mentors who can offer guidance and wisdom based on their own experiences. She suggests:
- Identifying people you admire in your field or area of interest
- Reaching out to potential mentors with specific questions or requests for advice
- Being open to learning from people at different stages of life or career
By cultivating a supportive community and seeking out mentorship, readers can create an environment that nurtures their personal growth and helps them stay focused on their true purpose.
Practicing Self-Care and Boundaries
An essential component of owning your everyday life is taking care of yourself and setting healthy boundaries. Dooley recognizes that many people, especially women, struggle with prioritizing their own needs and saying no to others.
The Importance of Self-Care
Dooley emphasizes that self-care isn't selfish; it's necessary for maintaining the energy and motivation to pursue your purpose. She encourages readers to:
- Prioritize sleep and rest
- Engage in regular physical activity
- Practice mindfulness or meditation
- Pursue hobbies and activities that bring joy
- Seek professional help when needed, such as therapy or counseling
Setting Healthy Boundaries
To avoid burnout and maintain focus on what truly matters, Dooley suggests implementing healthy boundaries in various areas of life:
- Time management: Learn to say no to commitments that don't align with your priorities
- Relationships: Communicate your needs and limits clearly to friends, family, and colleagues
- Work-life balance: Establish clear boundaries between work and personal time
- Social media: Set limits on your social media usage to avoid comparison and distraction
Practicing Self-Compassion
Throughout the book, Dooley emphasizes the importance of being kind to yourself. She encourages readers to:
- Speak to themselves with the same compassion they would offer a friend
- Acknowledge that mistakes and setbacks are part of the growth process
- Celebrate their efforts and progress, not just their achievements
By prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, and practicing self-compassion, readers can create a strong foundation for pursuing their purpose and owning their everyday lives.
Conclusion: Embracing Your Everyday Purpose
In "Own Your Everyday," Jordan Lee Dooley offers a refreshing perspective on finding purpose and meaning in life. By addressing deep-rooted problems, stepping out of our comfort zones, embracing disappointment, overcoming comparison, conquering distraction, and redefining success, we can begin to live more purposeful and fulfilling lives.
The key takeaways from the book include:
- Tackle problems at their core instead of covering them up
- Push beyond your comfort zone to grow and discover your true potential
- View disappointments as opportunities for growth and new directions
- Focus on your personal "Why" rather than comparing yourself to others
- Use the 10-10-10 rule to make better decisions and avoid distractions
- Redefine success based on your values and daily actions
- Embrace your unique journey and celebrate small victories
- Build a supportive community and seek mentorship
- Practice self-care and set healthy boundaries
By implementing these strategies and shifting our mindset, we can find purpose and meaning in our everyday lives, rather than constantly chasing after external validation or societal expectations of success. Dooley's message encourages readers to embrace their authentic selves, focus on what truly matters, and find joy in the journey of personal growth and self-discovery.
Ultimately, "Own Your Everyday" reminds us that true purpose isn't about proving ourselves to the world or achieving specific milestones. Instead, it's about living in alignment with our values, embracing our unique gifts and challenges, and showing up fully for our lives each day. By owning our everyday experiences and choices, we can create a life of meaning, purpose, and genuine fulfillment.