Own Your Everyday Summary

What if success isn’t about achieving more, but about becoming more of who you already are?

1. Problems Require Depth, Not Surface-level Fixes

Far too often, people attempt to tackle their problems by focusing on superficial solutions, but true growth requires addressing deeper issues. Jordan Lee Dooley learned this firsthand through her long battle with acne, which she initially tried to hide under layers of makeup. However, hiding the surface symptoms didn’t solve the root causes of her struggles, like stress and diet.

This lesson applies beyond the cosmetic realm. Many people find themselves trying to cover imperfections so they appear "put together" on the outside, fearing what others might think if their true problems are exposed. However, fixing external symptoms does little to heal internal wounds. The real breakthroughs come when you confront the root causes and embrace your flawed but authentic self.

Dooley advises building real confidence by focusing on self-kindness. When you commit to not criticizing yourself and treating “you” like a friend, you’ll pave the way for deeper contentment.

Examples

• Dooley's doctor told her that makeup was worsening her acne, the same way people worsen their insecurities by trying to “mask” them.
• Stopping self-critical habits—like criticizing your appearance—helps build inner confidence and create purpose.
• Practicing self-acceptance daily helps you set the foundation for meaningful change.

2. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone and Embrace Growing Pains

Imposter syndrome can leave many of us feeling like frauds. Dooley’s journey from a casual crafting project to an influential social media presence illustrates how stepping out of your comfort zone can lead to unexpected success, even when self-doubt looms.

She advises breaking free from self-imposed expectations that hold us back. For instance, Dooley turned down a prestigious internship after realizing it didn’t align with her desires. Instead of meticulously planning her future, she took action one small step at a time, like learning Etsy business basics or creating her first product.

Courage to face uncharted territory often inspires trust in your own journey. By rejecting perfectionism and tackling challenges incrementally, you’ll open doors to purpose-driven success.

Examples

• Dooley avoided self-imposed pressure by pivoting to paths that excited her, even when they weren’t conventional.
• Her hobby, launched on a whim, grew into a career when she took small, consistent steps.
• Listening to her mom’s advice—“just don’t do it”—helped her walk away from pursuing roles she didn’t love.

3. Disappointment Can Be a Launchpad for Transformation

Instead of derailing your life, disappointments can push you in new, fulfilling directions. When Dooley’s husband, Matt, dreamed of joining the NFL but was passed over, the couple initially struggled with dashed hopes. Over time, though, they reframed their perspective, understanding that life was working out as it should.

Some of life’s richest moments come after navigating hardship. Matt’s NFL setback redirected their family priorities—it gave them time to support his father during his final days and opened fresh opportunities for both of them. Embracing disappointment as a teacher rather than an enemy will build resilience.

Instead of labeling challenges as failures, consider how they might lead to new adventures. That shift in mindset allows you to find hidden blessings in difficult moments.

Examples

• The NFL-related disappointment gave Matt extra time to spend with loved ones.
• Giving up on one dream allowed Jordan to write her book, opening new career paths.
• Reflecting on hardships as life lessons helps you grow emotionally stronger and more adaptable.

4. Comparison Breeds Pressure: Break the Habit

Comparison often adds unnecessary stress to our lives, making us chase achievements just to “keep up” with others. Social media heightens this pressure, as we measure our accomplishments, bodies, or happiness against curated and polished online content.

Dooley shares that she’s not immune to this—whether it’s competing on treadmill speeds at the gym or feeling inadequate compared to others’ Instagram lifestyles. But living in comparison mode is like running on a treadmill without going anywhere meaningful. The solution? Prioritize your Why—your personal motivation—and replace jealousy with joyful appreciation.

By realigning your values and celebrating your own unique path, you’ll reduce stress. You’ll also find it easier to feel genuine happiness for others instead of trapped in silent rivalry.

Examples

• At the gym, Jordan shifted from competing on a treadmill to celebrating her own health progress.
• Focusing on her Why helped her find fulfillment while building her business instead of seeking admiration.
• Replacing envy with gratitude allows you to see both your and others' wins more clearly.

5. Avoid Distractions to Stay Focused on What Matters

Distractions are everywhere, from endless social media feeds to constant entertainment options. Modern life offers so many choices that it can paralyze your sense of purpose, pulling you toward short-term amusement instead of long-term meaning.

To counter this, Dooley recommends identifying your “default distractions” and disciplining yourself to focus on activities with greater long-term payoff. One helpful framework is the 10-10-10 rule: Ask how a decision will affect your life in ten minutes, ten weeks, and ten years.

Distraction tends to draw us into passive living. By making intentional choices and committing to meaningful activities, you can beat the temptation to drift aimlessly.

Examples

• Avoiding social media scrolling during downtime creates opportunities to connect authentically.
• Using the 10-10-10 rule on decisions highlights how small choices accumulate meaningfully over time.
• Skipping Netflix to finish a personal project immediately builds fulfillment, unlike fleeting entertainment.

6. Redefining Success Means Letting Go of External Validation

Success isn’t about chasing idealized versions of yourself or achieving societal milestones—it’s about living in alignment with your values. Jordan argues that the most successful people are the ones who show up authentically for their lives, whether they’re raising kids or running companies, without seeking approval.

Daily intentionality underscores true success. Small rituals—like personal reflection, time with loved ones, or prayer—help define purpose within each day. Success, then, comes from living true to who you’ve been created to be, not chasing someone else’s story.

By shifting focus from doing impressive things to simply being present, you’ll feel a deeper, more satisfying kind of success.

Examples

• A stressed mom can define success as giving her best to her family, not meeting unrealistic external standards.
• Jordan’s habit of avoiding her phone after 6 p.m. strengthens her relationships, anchoring her daily goals.
• Writing 1,000 words a day helped Jordan align her creative passion with her long-term purpose.

Takeaways

1. Treat yourself like your closest friend—swap criticism for self-compassion over 30 days.
2. Identify your biggest distraction and limit it; for instance, schedule “offline hours” to focus on meaningful goals.
3. Create a daily success checklist that aligns with your long-term values—include things like quality time, hobbies, or reflection.