Own Your Greatness

“Isn’t it time to finally change that tired, old story?” This question captures the heart of Own Your Greatness—a guide for recognizing and overcoming the self-doubt that imposter syndrome creates.

1. Understand the Foundation of Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome often begins with a story we tell ourselves, usually inherited from early family dynamics. This story, replayed over years, convinces us that we lack worth or skill.

The roots of these feelings often stem from childhood. Maybe a parent set unrelenting standards, or a sibling’s accomplishments overshadowed your own. These experiences create deep beliefs about your abilities and role in life. Understanding this foundation is the first step to dismantling the thoughts that tell you that you’re a fraud.

Consider Elizabeth, whose family labeled her “sensitive,” while her brother was the "smart one." Over time, she believed her intelligence was inadequate and dismissed her strengths. This origin story shaped her adult self-doubt and need for external validation.

Examples

• A child labeled "lazy" may grow up overcompensating at work to escape that tag.
• Siblings constantly compared may feel inferior no matter their achievements.
• A parent’s focus on perfection might leave a child believing nothing is ever good enough.

2. Recognize Your Triggers

Imposter syndrome doesn’t always run in the background—it’s often activated by specific experiences or situations. Recognizing what sets these feelings off is key for breaking the power they hold.

Triggers might occur at work when given a daunting task, or socially when meeting accomplished peers. Other moments, like receiving praise or stepping into new roles, may bring feelings of undeservingness. All of these situations point to the same root issue, but once recognized, they can be anticipated and prepared for.

For example, you might realize you feel inadequate when starting a new job. By identifying this as a trigger, you can prepare yourself to respond differently, rather than relying on automatic self-critical patterns.

Examples

• A promotion challenges your self-worth, requiring reflection and confidence.
• Compliments feel undeserved, triggering endless internal doubt.
• Leading a presentation might pressure you to overprepare out of fear.

3. Rewrite Your Inner Story

The narrative we tell ourselves about our abilities becomes reality. Step three invites you to rewrite it—adding context, balance, and, most importantly, truth.

Our default narratives are often one-dimensional and overly harsh. Thickening the story involves seeing nuances—recognizing growth and acknowledging strengths. For Elizabeth, her family’s label of being “emotional” ignored her intelligence and resourcefulness. By thickening her story, she saw herself as both sensitive and capable.

This reframed perspective doesn’t deny difficulty but gives equal weight to achievements. It enables you to challenge distorted labels and include the positives long ignored.

Examples

• “I’m bad under pressure” becomes “I’ve successfully handled pressure before.”
• “I’m in over my head” is reframed as “I’ve earned this opportunity to learn.”
• “I’m undeserving” changes to “Here’s what I did to arrive here.”

4. Share Your Feelings to Break Their Power

Imposter syndrome thrives in isolation. Speaking openly about it, however, weakens its grip and creates opportunities for connection and validation.

Identifying one or two trusted individuals to talk with is a powerful way to confront these feelings. Sharing your struggles often reveals that others experience them, too. It also opens the door for loved ones or mentors to remind you of your strengths and accomplishments.

When Elizabeth shared her feelings with a colleague, she was surprised to hear they had felt the same way early in their career. This connection reassured her she wasn’t alone and reframed her challenges as a common experience rather than evidence of failure.

Examples

• A friend may point out talents you minimize.
• A colleague might admit to the same insecurities, offering solidarity.
• A mentor could share stories of past doubts, helping you see the bigger picture.

5. Quiet the Negative Voices

Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) play a large role in perpetuating imposter feelings. Breaking their cycle is essential to fostering confidence.

These ANTs include thoughts like “I’ll definitely fail,” or “Everyone else is better than me.” They distort reality with exaggerated fears or self-criticism. Silencing them starts by questioning their validity. For instance, if your thought is “I’m unqualified,” ask yourself, “What evidence supports this?” or “What would I say to a friend who felt this way?”

Replacing ANTs with positive thoughts creates space to rewrite your story. Each affirmation erodes the hold of the negative narrative that defines imposters.

Examples

• Challenge “I’ll make a mistake” with “I’ll learn and improve from feedback.”
• Replace “I’m not as good” with “I bring unique strengths to the table.”
• Push back on “They regret choosing me” with “I’ve earned my place here.”

6. Try New Roles in Daily Life

People with imposter syndrome often adopt limiting roles—like the “Helper” who avoids focus on their achievements. Experimenting with new roles helps expand your identity.

This doesn’t mean abandoning helpfulness or competency but adding balance. For example, the “Helper” might also become a “Help-Seeker” who occasionally asks for support. The “Superperson,” who tries to do it all, can practice delegation and collaboration with others.

Starting small allows these shifts to feel safe. Over time, flexibility grows, and new roles become instinctive, dissolving old habits of overcompensation and self-doubt.

Examples

• The “Perfectionist” might embrace mistakes as part of growth.
• The “Failure Avoider” could take small, calculated risks.
• The “Invisible Worker” can practice stepping into visible leadership.

7. Celebrate Your Strengths

One of the lasting strategies to combat imposter syndrome is acknowledging and celebrating your accomplishments and abilities.

Imposter feelings make it easy to focus on perceived deficits while overlooking what you do well. Actively identifying and listing your skills reshapes your self-perception. These could range from technical expertise to interpersonal abilities or creative talents.

Try looking at past accomplishments, identifying the efforts behind each. For Elizabeth, recalling her resilience in personal challenges helped her see qualities she’d previously downplayed or ignored.

Examples

• Creating a list of talents, from problem-solving to creativity.
• Reflecting on solved challenges to recognize perseverance.
• Revisiting positive feedback to reinforce strengths others see in you.

8. Build a Support Network

Supportive relationships can make all the difference when imposter syndrome resurfaces. Surrounding yourself with trusted people ensures you don’t face these feelings alone.

The authors recommend assembling a “dream team” of confidants who fulfill distinct roles, like the Cheerleader who boosts you when you’re down or the Grounder who provides honest, stabilizing feedback. This network can also include an experienced Mentor or someone sharing similar struggles as an Imposter Expert.

Having these individuals to rely on offers encouragement and perspective, reinforcing the journey toward self-acceptance.

Examples

• A Cheerleader provides reassurance during self-doubt.
• A Grounder helps you see beyond exaggerated fears.
• A Mentor guides you to focus on long-term growth.

9. Self-Care as an Antidote to Burnout

Imposter syndrome often leads to overwork, perfectionism, and, ultimately, burnout. Prioritizing self-care helps conserve energy and establishes balance.

Many people push themselves to exhaustion, believing they must prove their worth. Instead, intentionally relaxing or engaging in activities that bring joy can prevent mental overload. Self-care acts as both a reward and a reminder of the value you hold outside of work or achievements.

From meditation to taking walks, regular self-replenishment strengthens resilience, making it easier to push back against self-doubt when it arises.

Examples

• Reading, cooking, or a hobby might boost creativity and relaxation.
• Scheduling time to sit quietly can recalibrate emotional equilibrium.
• Spending time with friends helps shift focus from stress to connection.

Takeaways

1. Reflect on your childhood story to understand how your thoughts were shaped, and write it down to make the emotions clearer.
2. When negative self-talk arises, respond with evidence-based questions and reframe the narrative with positive statements.
3. Identify six supportive people—your dream team—and define how and when each can assist you in overcoming obstacles.