Primary Greatness

True success comes from within and is reflected by the virtues we cultivate, not the material symbols we display.

1. True Success Lies in Primary Greatness, Not Materialism

Primary greatness is the embodiment of inner qualities like integrity, purpose, and selflessness that create fulfillment and peace. This contrasts sharply with secondary greatness, which revolves around fleeting material symbols like wealth or fame. While external status might dazzle, it fails to offer lasting contentment.

Research from the Perry Preschool Project serves as proof of this. Through teaching 123 preschoolers to delay gratification, the study demonstrated that building attributes like persistence led to long-term accomplishments. Participants from the program succeeded more often in life compared to their peers. Success here arose from their inner development rather than external factors.

Primary greatness requires character building, rooted in the 12 levers of success. These include integrity, contribution, and renewal, among others, as the foundation for authentic leadership and life satisfaction. Pursuing primary greatness allows individuals to experience purpose over superficial promises of happiness.

Examples

• Young children in the Perry Project showed better life outcomes after learning to delay gratification.
• People who pursue primary greatness find fulfillment in relationships and purpose rather than possessions.
• Secondary greatness, like flashy cars or dominance, often creates fleeting security but no inner peace.

2. Self-Affirmations and an Abundance Mentality Create Growth

Before stepping into primary greatness, you need strong mental foundations. One way to prepare is through self-affirmations—positive, first-person statements that align you with your goals. These pave the way for action and belief in your personal evolution.

Equally important is fostering an abundance mind-set. This approach encourages you to see the world as a place of opportunity for everyone, replacing competitiveness with collaboration. When you view life as offering enough for all instead of engaging in a win-lose frame of mind, you avoid the pitfalls of insecurity or jealousy.

A basketball team embodies this lesson: When one player hogs the ball, the whole team suffers. However, by embracing teamwork—passing and sharing responsibilities—they improve performance. Similarly, an abundance mind-set helps build community rather than creating divisions.

Examples

• Writing affirmations like “I am proactive with planning” can help steer procrastinators toward action.
• Calmly rehearsing affirmations daily reshapes old self-limiting habits into forward-moving beliefs.
• A shift to abundance thinking strengthens collaboration across relationships, work, and even communities.

3. Integrity: The Bedrock of Trust and Authentic Success

Integrity brings together humility and courage. It demands introspection about areas needing improvement while acting boldly to live up to moral values. It’s about congruence—ensuring your actions align with your principles.

A friend of the author, after hurting him, chose humility to acknowledge wrongdoing and courage to apologize sincerely. This act of integrity not only salvaged their relationship but inspired trust. Acting with integrity isn't about perfection; it’s about truth combined with honest accountability.

When integrity shines, relationships flourish. Trustworthiness comes naturally since there are no hidden motives—just actions rooted in authenticity. Walking aligned with your values eliminates conflicts between inner intentions and external behavior.

Examples

• A heartfelt apology rebuilt trust and deepened a friendship for the author.
• Employees in ethical companies retain higher morale when management leads with clear principles.
• Aligning personal values with decisions creates harmonious work and personal outcomes.

4. Purpose Gives Clarity to Contribution and Priorities

Purpose lends clarity to how you create meaningful contributions and gives motivation to live with intention. It answers three foundational questions: Where are you needed? What strengths do you have? How can you turn passions into service?

Take the tragic yet uplifting story from Mr. Holland’s Opus. Although the character initially aimed for fame as a composer, he eventually found unmatched fulfillment guiding students with love and commitment. His contribution marked his real legacy.

Purpose also sharpens your ability to prioritize correctly. It ensures focus remains on vital, long-term goals over trivial but pressing matters. For example, a doctor in surgery prioritizes the larger task at hand—saving a life—over responding to mid-operation interruptions.

Examples

• A teacher finds greater purpose in mentoring students despite early ambitions for personal fame.
• Purposeful living helps individuals avoid distractions and work toward meaningful milestones.
• Prioritizing meaningful over urgent tasks keeps professionals effective under pressure.

5. Sacrifice and Service Build Genuine Relationships

Their roles are central: sacrifice tempers ego while service makes relationships nurturing. Both foster connection and mutual respect. True sacrifice involves small gestures—helping shine a colleague’s shoes or performing an unselfish act at home.

Service is about showing up with sincerity. Speaking to large crowds as though addressing one individual is an example of human connection through service. It offers listeners genuine engagement, increasing interpersonal bonds. Both acts reveal authentic care, thereby strengthening ties.

Examples

• A leader doing humble chores inspires camaraderie between themselves and team members.
• Relationships improve when individuals consciously put aside ego-driven habits.
• Effective speech-making anchors on connecting personally, not theatrically, with an audience.

6. Reciprocity and Diversity Foster Cooperation

Openness begins with solid self-esteem because insecurity tends to make us defensive. Secure individuals embrace opinions or strengths other than theirs while fostering cooperation through reciprocity. By building trust through open communication or solving problems together, this principle leads to flourishing teamwork.

Diversity thrives only when we value differing skills and embrace fresh perspectives. Workplaces or groups thrive creatively and push boundaries when diversity is not feared but celebrated.

Examples

• Reciprocal friendships or partnerships grow stronger with constructive feedback loops.
• Collaboration becomes possible quicker when diversity is met with inclusion.
• Teams brainstorming openly produce innovative solutions far beyond hierarchical constraints.

7. Loyalty Eliminates Division, While Responsibility Repairs Trust

Loyalty discourages gossip and deepens respect for human dignity. Avoiding gossip or sticking up for someone in absentia helps relationships avoid toxicity, while responsibility disciplines individuals to own mistakes truthfully.

After a public misstep, apologizing sincerely clears the air. Voicing a full acknowledgment prevents lingering resentment while signaling readiness for healthier patterns moving forward.

Examples

• Offices thrive when employees abstain from disparaging absent colleagues.
• Taking accountability for errors builds relationships rather than breaking them.
• A loyal defense can flip hostile interactions when positivity replaces negativity.

8. Learning and Teaching as Lifelong Practices

Learning continuously through reading literature, online lectures, or professional training ensures relevance in fast-changing times. This lifelong process avoids stagnation, while teaching amplifies absorption of knowledge. Explaining concepts endows the teacher with even sharper clarity.

Dr. Gong’s dinner-table method made sure learning went both ways. By teaching him daily school lessons, his children grew academically prepared for exceptional achievements.

Examples

• Success in competitive career fields requires constant adaptation through learning.
• Tutoring others consolidates understanding while addressing overlooked blind spots.
• Structured personal curricula nurture intellectual curiosity year-round.

9. Balance Across Mind, Body, and Relationships Prevents Burnout

Health in body, thought, and human connection demands balance. Visualizing personal challenges like health crises or rapid obsolescence strengthens productive habits such as exercising, upskilling, and setting positive social boundaries.

Neglecting emotional care could trickle into physical stress or other spheres of life. By taking holistic steps, mental clarity, physical fitness, and positive relationships intertwine for lasting holistic success.

Examples

• Hypothesizing post-crisis scenarios like bankruptcies spurs proactive self-preservation.
• Engaging respect-filled conversations maintains social harmony despite possible conflict.
• Balancing work pressure with downtime prevents preventable burnout waves.

Takeaways

1. Write and practice self-affirmations daily in a relaxed state to align your mindset with your aspirations.
2. Define your purpose by asking yourself how your strengths align with the world's needs, then prioritize tasks accordingly.
3. Commit to journaling weekly—record lessons, successes from self-reflection, and focus on areas needing action.