Show Your Worth

“What does success look like to you, and are you bold enough to claim it on your own terms?”

1. Success Starts When You Define It

True success isn’t handed to you or dictated by others; it requires self-awareness and clarity about what genuinely matters to you. Shelmina Babai Abji emphasizes that the journey starts with defining success in a way that aligns with your unique goals and aspirations. Take the time to ask yourself: What excites you? What brings a sense of achievement? These reflections expose the type of life and career you genuinely seek.

Abji suggests blending personal and professional dreams, forming a broader life vision. Success could mean climbing the corporate ladder while fostering strong relationships at home or achieving career growth while giving back to the community. The beauty lies in owning a definition of success that complements every chapter of your life.

She weaves in Verna Meyers' story, who left law despite its prestige to follow her passion for Diversity and Inclusion. Meyers’ bold choices—creating her own consultancy and ultimately joining Netflix—underscore the importance of crafting your own unique version of success, no matter how unconventional it may seem.

Examples

• Ask yourself “What energizes or exhausts me?” to identify goals that align with your values.
• Create a vision board with both short-term and long-term milestones.
• Reflect weekly on achievements to stay aligned with your personal roadmap.

2. Your Attention Is Your Most Valuable Investment

Successful people don’t just manage time—they manage their focus. Abji shares how Johanna Maska, an aide to President Obama, made nano-second decisions on allocating his limited attention, showing the need to prioritize with clarity and purpose.

Your priorities act as your guidance system. Without a sharp focus, your days can be consumed by distractions leaving no time for what truly matters. Structuring your day intentionally and mapping out your priorities can help maximize the results of your efforts.

Breaking down goals into actionable steps is key. Being intentional might mean saying “no” more often, allocating time to essential yet mundane tasks, and delegating efforts smartly. Whether it’s work or life responsibilities, determining what’s most important gives your attention the direction it needs.

Examples

• Create a yearly plan and divide it into monthly and weekly objectives.
• Review your calendar and notice if unproductive meetings dominate your time.
• Practice prioritizing by saying no to tasks misaligned with core goals.

3. Balance Starts in the Mind

Work-life balance is often seen as an elusive goal. Abji shares that belief matters more than circumstances when achieving harmony. Believing balance is possible—even when juggling significant responsibilities—empowers you to create boundaries and routines that protect your time.

She advocates for treating personal priorities, like family or self-care, as equally important as work obligations. Structuring personal time with the same intention as work time ensures balance. Saying no to unnecessary demands also creates space for a calmer life.

One actionable tool is establishing transition routines between home and work. For many, this simple act—like changing clothes after work—acts as a mental cue to switch gears. The result? Less spillover stress and better productivity in each domain.

Examples

• Schedule family time on your calendar just like work meetings.
• Create after-work rituals to mentally disconnect and recharge.
• Protect non-working hours by silencing work emails and calls.

4. Lead by Being Authentically Yourself

Authentic leadership is leading with transparency and embracing your personal story, even in adversity. Kathleen Hogan, Microsoft’s Chief People Officer, learned the power of authenticity after sharing her breast cancer diagnosis and receiving overwhelming workplace support. Authenticity breaks down barriers and invites genuine connections.

Abji stresses that self-doubt and societal expectations can deter women from showing up authentically. Instead, she encourages embracing one’s full self. Corporate cultures often reward conformity, but real strength lies in celebrating individual experiences and perspectives.

Assertiveness also ties closely to authenticity. Practice clear, confident communication and resist phrases that undermine your credibility, such as, “This might be a silly idea . . .” Your voice matters—and owning it authentically strengthens your contributions.

Examples

• Replace self-undermining language with direct and confident statements.
• Share vulnerable parts of your story to connect more deeply with colleagues.
• Seek environments where authenticity is valued if your current role stifles you.

5. Say “No” to Grow

Saying no is an underrated skill, but it’s essential for growth. Women, more than anyone, are often handed non-strategic responsibilities. These “office housework” tasks—like organizing meetings or volunteering for additional admin work—can derail long-term goals.

By learning to confidently decline or delegate irrelevant tasks, you free more time and energy to focus on higher-priority ambitions. Abji encourages re-evaluating what’s worth a yes and strengthening your refusal muscle without guilt.

Every “no” allows for a purposeful “yes” in areas where your time yields results, whether that’s high-impact projects or nurturing personal values outside of work.

Examples

• Redirect unnecessary requests with “I don’t have capacity right now.”
• Decline tasks politely while suggesting alternatives or delegations.
• Review what distracts you daily and cut it out where possible.

6. Leadership Is Built on Trust and Care

Leadership involves more than commanding teams—it’s about building trust and lifting others. Abji highlights qualities like trustworthiness, listening, and empathy as cornerstone traits of impactful leaders. People follow leaders who truly care for their growth.

Trust grows when you consistently deliver on promises and communicate transparently. Meanwhile, attentively listening ensures team members feel valued. Simple lessons like making space for others’ voices result in more motivated, connected teammates.

Leaders also inspire by creating supportive environments. These spaces encourage innovation while celebrating personal and team accomplishments.

Examples

• Practice deep listening by summarizing others’ points before responding.
• Offer mentorship to team members eager to grow.
• Recognize individual and collective wins in team meetings.

7. Communication Commands Attention

Imagine being the person whose ideas always get noticed—this begins with strong, intentional communication. Avoid hedging statements with qualifiers such as “I could be wrong…” Speak with clarity and ensure colleagues understand your ideas’ importance.

Silencing self-doubt enables you to dominate the conversation with confidence. Whether asserting yourself after interruptions or presenting ideas clearly, clear communication demands attention and respect.

Abji also stresses using meetings deliberately. Don’t fill space with fluff. Bring concise, valuable contributions to become known as a thoughtful communicator.

Examples

• Replace uncertain phrases like “I think” with confident statements like “I recommend.”
• Pause to listen but assert yourself firmly in moments of interruption.
• Prepare specific, actionable talking points before key discussions.

8. Embrace Bold Career Decisions

Taking risks can redefine your path. Success stories like Verna Meyers highlight how bold leaps—leaving comfort zones for true passions—often lead to better alignment with long-term goals.

When your current environment limits growth or recognition, it might be time to pivot. Moving toward projects, teams, or even entirely different industries that align with your vision opens doors for growth.

Abji encourages tapping into inner audacity when facing such potential transformations. Every bold decision reinvents and strengthens your professional identity.

Examples

• Transition jobs when opportunities within your current one plateau.
• Volunteer for stretch assignments that excite rather than drain you.
• Develop a growth mindset by embracing calculated risks.

9. Branding Yourself Solidifies Leadership

Your personal brand is how others perceive you, and branding as a leader involves demonstrating qualities that earn respect. Identify the traits—such as trust, innovation, or compassion—you want associated with your leadership.

Leadership branding isn’t passive. By consistently developing and exemplifying these qualities, you carve a space where people associate your name with impactful leadership.

This includes owning difficult moments. Leaders are defined in crises, where decisions, communication, and composure matter most.

Examples

• Actively grow leadership traits like listening or cooperation.
• Seek feedback to adjust how colleagues perceive your effectiveness.
• Share leadership wins in settings where it builds broader visibility.

Takeaways

1. Regularly schedule time to define and refine your long-term vision of success, ensuring it aligns with personal values.
2. Create boundaries around priorities by saying “no” to distractions and unaligned tasks to preserve focus.
3. Work on cultivating and expressing leadership qualities like trustworthiness, communication, and genuine care to expand influence.