Book cover of Staring Down the Wolf by Mark Divine

Mark Divine

Staring Down the Wolf

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Fear doesn't have to be a roadblock; it can be the force that pushes you to become the leader you’re destined to be.

1. Facing Fear: The Wolves Within

Each one of us battles two forces in life: the "fear wolf" and the "courage wolf." The fear wolf embodies our negative patterns, doubts, and insecurities. It’s what whispers self-defeating thoughts and holds us back. The courage wolf, on the other hand, is the voice of strength, bravery, and hope. The battle between these two "wolves" often dictates actions and, ultimately, one’s evolution as a leader.

Staring down the wolf means directly confronting fears that keep us stuck—acknowledging negative mental scripts and choosing courage over comfort. For Navy SEALs, this concept is not just psychological; it’s tactical. Every decision could mean the difference between success and failure, or even life and death, making courage a muscle they constantly train.

In Mogadishu, Somalia, during the Black Hawk Down incident, SEALs demonstrated the essence of this concept. Faced with the choice to play it safe and wait or risk everything to save stranded pilots, they chose courage over fear. This calculated risk paid off because they were prepared and trusted their training.

Examples

  • Daily mental rehearsal in SEAL training helps condition responses to override fear.
  • Courageous decisions on the battlefield save lives, as in the Black Hawk Down case.
  • Incremental acts of bravery in everyday life—like addressing a difficult work conversation—reflect this principle.

2. Leading with Trust

Trust is the glue of any successful team, especially under intense pressure. Without it, fear sneaks in, and doubt paralyzes action. Building trust demands transparency, humility, and following through on commitments, even when mistakes happen.

William McRaven, a SEAL leader, made a poor decision during a beach landing training, risking his team’s safety. Yet, he won back their trust by taking full responsibility, being honest about his errors, and demonstrating a commitment to mutual growth. Trust grows not through perfection but from authentic and consistent leadership.

Effective leaders also own their vulnerabilities. McRaven stood shoulder-to-shoulder with his men even during the mishap, showing humility. He learned from his mistake, pushing forward innovations like improved boats to prevent future failures.

Examples

  • McRaven’s accountability during the failed boat landing reassured his team.
  • Transparent communication after mistakes builds lasting confidence.
  • Trust grows through actions like showing up, admitting errors, and working hard alongside the team.

3. Earning Respect Through Authenticity

Respect isn’t automatic; it’s earned through actions over time. SEAL leaders like Captain Jim O’Connell show this by crafting an image of integrity and treating everyone, regardless of rank, with the same respect.

Being authentic as a leader builds respect. O’Connell was known for his unwavering moral compass and transparent communication style, ensuring everyone clearly understood their roles and responsibilities. His consistent honesty reinforced his team’s trust and respect.

Positive and clear communication is another key pathway to respect. When leaders remain firm in their principles while also showing vulnerability, it draws people in. O’Connell made sure to operate with clarity, reinforcing his team's ability to act decisively in high-stakes situations.

Examples

  • O’Connell treated high-ranking officers and enlisted men equally, modeling fairness.
  • Clear communication from leaders prevents doubts and confusion during projects.
  • Standing up for moral principles, even when uncomfortable, earns respect over time.

4. Growth Through Challenge

The only way to grow is to take on challenges that push you outside of your comfort zone. Navy SEALs embrace this philosophy through Hell Week, a grueling test of physical and mental limits. Challenges like these reveal what one is truly capable of.

Growth does not come from ease. Facing discomfort transforms individuals into stronger, more capable versions of themselves. Hell Week symbolizes this by forcing candidates to overcome exhaustion and unpredictability with grit and perseverance. Likewise, real-life challenges, like navigating failures or personal change, offer the chance for similar growth if embraced fully.

Mentorship is a valuable ally during challenges. Just as SEAL trainees rely on seasoned veterans for guidance, everyday individuals benefit from mentors who provide insight, encouragement, and help navigate setbacks.

Examples

  • Hell Week tests recruits’ resilience through extreme sleep deprivation and physical exhaustion.
  • Personal challenges, like taking on a new role at work, spur professional growth.
  • Mentors offer necessary support and wisdom for navigating life’s tough moments.

5. Excellence Begins with Curiosity

Curiosity is the foundation for continuous improvement and innovation. Leaders like Richard Marcinko, founder of SEAL Team Six, encouraged his team to question norms and seek better methods, resulting in breakthroughs like the HAHO parachute technique.

Asking questions like “Why not?” can drive creativity and lead to fresh solutions. Curiosity pushes teams to think beyond existing limitations and create smarter, more effective strategies. Staying adaptable and open to exploration keeps teams afloat in a constantly shifting environment.

Marcinko’s emphasis on curiosity led his unit to master various skills, such as flying and piloting water crafts. This made them adaptable in virtually any situation, a testament to the power of staying curious and breaking old rules.

Examples

  • The development of the HAHO parachute technique illustrates inventive problem-solving.
  • Encouraging cross-training allowed Marcinko’s team to handle unforeseen scenarios.
  • Asking challenging questions often reveals solutions others may miss.

6. Resilience Through Adaptability

Adversity is inevitable, but resilience defines how well you recover. Navy SEAL Marcus Luttrell’s harrowing experience in Afghanistan showed how adaptable thinking allows one to survive and thrive in impossible circumstances.

Adaptability is about letting go of failed plans and quickly finding new ones. This mindset allowed Luttrell to escape danger and contribute further to missions. This resilience is fueled by emotional agility, a skill that leaders can develop through mental toughness training and mindset shifts.

Leaders show resilience not by avoiding failure but by bouncing back stronger. By swapping negativity for action-oriented thinking, they use failures as springboards for growth and creativity.

Examples

  • Marcus Luttrell adapted tactics during deadly combat and survived being stranded.
  • Leaders can use setbacks, like missed targets, to pivot strategies and improve results next time.
  • Viewing mistakes as lessons rather than dead ends builds long-term resilience.

7. Simple, Focused Communication Drives Team Alignment

Getting a strong, independent team to align toward a common goal can feel like herding cats. But open communication ensures that every team member understands the mission and their role in it, preventing confusion.

Mike Magaraci, a senior SEAL leader, succeeded in aligning independent thinkers by holding focused videoconference sessions that encouraged open dialogue. This gave team members a shared platform to discuss innovative ideas, challenges, and teamwork without losing focus on the mission.

Open lines of communication not only inform but reinforce team morale and collaboration. Regularly reiterating overarching goals fosters clarity and reminds teams of the bigger picture, enabling tighter connections and effective execution.

Examples

  • Weekly reflection sessions allowed Navy SEALs to share updates and challenges.
  • Focused meetings prevent the mindless “meeting overload” that hampers productivity.
  • Leadership alignment improves when mutual feedback and updates are scheduled.

8. Discipline Fuels Integrity

Integrity doesn’t just build respect—it binds teams to a shared ethos. SEAL leaders emphasize discipline to ensure their actions and decisions align with moral values, even during tough splits-second choices.

Upholding integrity takes work, especially in high-stakes environments. When teams see leaders consistently prioritizing what’s right, they trust those decisions—even if outcomes don’t always align with plans.

Through moral clarity and disciplined habits, integrity becomes more than an expectation. It transforms into a team-wide standard, ensuring cohesive behavior and success amid adversity.

Examples

  • Maintaining a moral code made leaders like Captain O’Connell highly respected.
  • Integrity can be small but impactful, like meeting all deadlines without excuses.
  • Teams thrive when transparency and steadfast moral behavior guide leadership.

9. Momentum Comes From Drive, Not Perfection

In leadership, what matters isn’t flawless execution but relentless progress toward a goal. SEALs build momentum during missions by sustaining effort in the face of unpredictability, trusting training to guide decisions.

As long as a mission moves forward—even imperfectly—success remains possible. The SEAL philosophy of “no man left behind” exemplifies this, prioritizing effort and team unity over clear paths to victory.

The workplace can reflect this principle. Waiting for “perfect plans” often delays action. Start small, adjust along the way, and maintain steady momentum to accomplish objectives.

Examples

  • The SEAL “no man left behind” rule emphasizes unified progress over perfect execution.
  • Action beats inaction; even trying new tactics can spark momentum.
  • Leadership encourages overcoming paralysis by analysis to keep teams moving forward.

Takeaways

  1. Confront fears daily. Practice small acts of bravery to build your "courage wolf."
  2. Start journaling each morning to identify new solutions to everyday challenges and problems.
  3. Hold honest and open team meetings focused on aligning goals and clear communication.

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