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Fear will always try to stop you, but the only way to beat it is to punch it in the face and start anyway.

1. Fear is the biggest roadblock to awesomeness

Fear is the number one thing that holds people back from pursuing their dreams. It convinces you that your goals are impractical or unattainable, keeping you stuck in mediocrity. The book emphasizes that fear is often irrational and thrives on exaggeration. To overcome it, you need to confront it head-on.

One effective way to deal with fear is to write it down and exaggerate it to absurd levels. For instance, if you’re afraid of starting a new project because you might fail, imagine the worst-case scenario: losing your job, becoming homeless, and talking to stray cats. When you see how ridiculous these fears are, they lose their power over you. Another strategy is to simply start. You can’t control the outcome, but you can control the beginning. Taking action, even if it’s small, is the best way to silence fear.

The author uses the example of the Segway inventors. They risked failure and ridicule to pursue their dream of creating a new mode of transportation. While the Segway didn’t revolutionize the world, their willingness to act despite fear is a lesson in courage. Fear will always exist, but it doesn’t have to control you.

Examples

• Writing down fears and exaggerating them to see their absurdity.
• Starting a project despite uncertainty, like the Segway creators.
• Taking small steps to build momentum and reduce fear’s grip.

2. Balance realism with big dreams

To escape the average, you need to dream big while staying grounded in reality. This balance creates a healthy tension that propels you forward. Start by assessing your current situation—your responsibilities, skills, and limitations. Then, identify the areas of your life that feel average and write down what you want to improve.

Dreaming big is essential, but it’s equally important to acknowledge where you are now. For example, the author once tried to start an ad agency without any business or programming experience. The project failed because he wasn’t realistic about his starting point. By being honest about your current skills and resources, you can set achievable goals that lead to bigger dreams.

Once you’ve identified your dreams, break them down into actionable steps. If you want to play at a music festival but have never touched an instrument, your first step might be taking a beginner’s class. This approach keeps you grounded while still aiming high.

Examples

• Assessing your current skills and responsibilities before pursuing a goal.
• The author’s failed ad agency project due to unrealistic expectations.
• Breaking down big dreams into small, actionable steps.

3. Stop searching for your purpose and start living with purpose

Many people waste time waiting for a grand epiphany to reveal their life’s purpose. This mindset creates unnecessary pressure and often leads to inaction. Instead of searching for a singular purpose, focus on living with purpose in your daily life.

Living with purpose means being intentional about your actions. At work, this could mean writing thoughtful thank-you notes to colleagues. In your personal life, it might involve planning a meaningful date night with your partner. Even on vacation, you can live with purpose by setting boundaries, like checking your email only once a day.

The book argues that purpose isn’t something you find; it’s something you create through your actions. By focusing on what you can do today, you’ll build a life filled with meaning and direction, without the pressure of finding a single, all-encompassing purpose.

Examples

• Writing handwritten thank-you notes at work.
• Planning intentional quality time with loved ones.
• Setting boundaries during vacations to focus on relaxation.

4. The first step to success is learning through experimentation

The journey to awesomeness begins with learning. This stage is all about trying new things and gaining experience. You can’t know what you’re passionate about until you’ve explored different options. Think of it as a scientific experiment—every attempt, even a failed one, teaches you something valuable.

For example, Tiger Woods didn’t become a golf champion overnight. He started practicing at a young age and spent years honing his skills. Similarly, if you’ve always wanted to learn a new language, start small. Dedicate 30 minutes a week to learning the basics. Small, consistent efforts prevent burnout and build momentum.

The book also highlights the importance of managing your willpower. Studies show that willpower is a finite resource, so tackle challenging tasks early in the day when your energy is highest. By experimenting and learning in manageable steps, you’ll discover what truly excites you.

Examples

• Tiger Woods practicing golf for 18 years before winning the Masters.
• Starting small, like dedicating 30 minutes a week to learning a new skill.
• Tackling difficult tasks in the morning to maximize willpower.

5. Edit your life to focus on what brings you joy

Once you’ve explored different options, it’s time to edit your life. This stage involves narrowing down your focus to the things that truly bring you joy. You can’t excel at everything, so choose one passion to prioritize and let go of the rest.

For instance, if you love both writing and public speaking, decide which one you want to develop further. The other can remain a hobby or something to revisit later. Create a “later list” for passions you want to explore in the future. This helps you stay focused without feeling like you’re abandoning other interests.

The key is to ask yourself what brings you the most joy, rather than what’s most practical or lucrative. When you focus on what inspires you, success becomes more fulfilling. For example, if you love sharing ideas, you could become a blogger, author, or podcast host. The possibilities are endless when you align your work with your passions.

Examples

• Choosing between writing and public speaking as a primary focus.
• Creating a “later list” for future passions.
• Pursuing a career that aligns with your love for sharing ideas.

6. Build expertise and ignore the haters

Mastery is the next step on the path to awesomeness. To become an expert, start small and seek opportunities to learn. Volunteering or offering your services for free can help you gain experience and build connections in your chosen field.

For example, if you want to be a blogger, start by commenting on other blogs and writing guest posts. This not only improves your skills but also helps you connect with the blogging community. As you grow, you’ll inevitably face criticism. Learn to distinguish between constructive feedback and baseless negativity.

When dealing with haters, consider the source and their motivations. If the criticism comes from a stranger online, it’s not worth your energy. Often, negativity stems from the other person’s struggles, not your work. Focus on improving and let the haters fade into the background.

Examples

• Volunteering to gain experience in your chosen field.
• Writing guest posts to improve blogging skills and build connections.
• Ignoring online negativity and focusing on constructive feedback.

7. Stay focused as you approach your goals

As you near your goals, it’s easy to lose focus or feel overwhelmed by how much is left to do. To maintain momentum, break your larger goal into smaller milestones. Celebrate each win to keep yourself motivated.

For example, if you’re writing a book, set weekly word count goals or deadlines for each chapter. This makes the process more manageable and keeps you on track. Additionally, be cautious of external pressures to aim for “more.” Stick to what matters to you and avoid getting sidetracked by others’ expectations.

Reflect on what got you to this point and identify tasks you can let go of. For instance, if your blog has gained a following, you might spend less time promoting it and more time creating quality content. Simplifying your efforts helps you stay focused on what truly matters.

Examples

• Setting weekly word count goals for writing a book.
• Avoiding external pressure to pursue goals that don’t align with your values.
• Shifting focus from promotion to content creation as your blog grows.

8. Share your journey by guiding others

Once you’ve achieved your goals, the final step is to help others on their path. Guiding others is deeply rewarding and allows you to share the lessons you’ve learned. Start by having conversations and asking questions to understand their needs.

For example, the author and his friend supported each other by working out together. This combined their shared interest in fitness with their desire to guide each other. Helping others doesn’t mean you stop growing. Use this time to revisit your “later list” and start a new journey.

Guiding others not only benefits them but also reinforces your own growth. By teaching what you’ve learned, you deepen your understanding and continue to evolve.

Examples

• Supporting a friend by combining guidance with shared activities.
• Revisiting your “later list” to start a new journey.
• Deepening your own growth by teaching others.

Takeaways

1. Write down your fears and exaggerate them to see how irrational they are.
2. Create a “later list” to keep track of passions you want to explore in the future.
3. Break big goals into smaller milestones to stay motivated and focused.