Start Where You Are Summary

Start where you are. This is very important. This is just like training in a gym. Everything that comes up is in the context of training.

1. Meditation Centers You in the Present

Meditation is a way to escape the traps of regrets about the past and fears of the future by focusing on the now. When you meditate, you redirect your energy toward fully experiencing the present moment, leading to peace of mind and contentment. This practice can shift your perspective and ground you in reality, where you can find true clarity.

Shamatha-vipashyana, a Buddhist meditation technique, starts with focusing on your breathing. As you sit upright with your eyes open and legs crossed, you tune into your environment—a simple yet profound reminder that life happens right now. Breathing becomes your anchor, pulling you back to the moment whenever your thoughts wander.

This practice encourages calm yet active awareness. Rather than punishing yourself for having wandering thoughts, you gently guide your focus back to your breath. Acknowledging that it’s normal to have a busy mind diverts judgment and helps beginners find meditation more approachable.

Examples

• Observing the sounds of nature while focusing on your breath.
• Returning your thoughts back to present breathing after drifting to items on a to-do list.
• Using the simple cue of saying "thinking" to stop rumination.

2. Joy Comes From Letting Go of Seriousness

Life often feels burdened by obligations and benchmarks of success, creating a cycle of fear and self-judgment. By letting go of rigid expectations and embracing moments with an open mind, you can introduce more joy into your life.

Meditation shows you how to meet your day with lightness and enthusiasm by grounding yourself in the present. Simple, joyful changes—like singing while showering or biking a new route—spark this attitude shift. They help you view each day as an opportunity for fresh experiences rather than a continuation of past struggles.

Choosing joy is an intentional act. By focusing on small, meaningful tweaks to your routines, you remind yourself that your approach to life is within your control. This focus helps clear away needless pressure and expectations.

Examples

• Exploring a new hobby like painting or dancing.
• Opting to take a different route to work and admiring new scenery.
• Preparing breakfast foods for dinner to shake up mealtime.

3. Embracing Emptiness Frees You From Judgment

In Buddhism, embracing "emptiness" isn't about negativity—it’s about releasing judgments and the need to categorize experiences. When you stop labeling moments as good or bad, you free yourself from the mental weight of judgment and expectations.

Think of emptiness as seeing the world like a hologram: things appear solid and fixed but are actually fluid and malleable. This concept encourages a flexible mind capable of revisiting assumptions. It can also ease anger. For example, many times the things we believe anger us—like someone cutting us off in traffic—are stories we create in our own heads.

Emptiness also provides reassurance around loss. People who accept emptiness face endings, including death, with greater peace and understanding. The author's story of two dying friends highlights this idea: One faced death fearfully, while the other met it cheerfully by embracing the impermanence of everything.

Examples

• Responding to daily frustrations without attaching blame.
• Reflecting on times when a shift in perspective changed an emotional reaction.
• Witnessing others find serenity through acceptance of impermanence.

4. Pain Teaches You Strength and Resilience

Pain is an inevitable part of life and serves as a teacher if you’re willing to face it head-on. Rather than avoiding or suppressing sorrow, Buddhism encourages embracing it as part of the full spectrum of being alive.

Feelings of despair, grief, and sadness are as important as moments of happiness and laughter. Avoiding difficulties can make you less resilient, while grappling with them builds your ability to endure and grow. Accepting pain doesn’t mean wallowing in it but rather allowing it to pass through, leaving you wiser and more grounded.

Figures like Mother Teresa and Jesus demonstrate this principle—they didn’t evade suffering but worked closely with those in distress. Their closeness to pain cultivated immense compassion and depth of understanding.

Examples

• Allowing yourself to cry and grieve after a personal loss.
• Learning from setbacks rather than becoming bitter or resentful.
• Drawing inspiration from compassionate role models who faced suffering.

5. Confronting Your Weaknesses Brings Growth

Strength grows from acknowledging and confronting your own weaknesses. Buddhism teaches that we all carry "three poisons"—craving, aversion, and ignorance. These impulses, when understood, reveal the root of harmful behavior and enable self-awareness.

Repressing negative emotions like jealousy or anger only deepens their hold on you. Instead, allowing them to surface and examining their source helps you reconcile with your flaws. This practice transforms painful self-reflection into a growth opportunity.

The story of Milarepa depicts self-acceptance beautifully. When confronted with demons in his cave, he stopped resisting and invited them to coexist. By embracing his perceived enemies, they dissipated. The message is clear: acceptance dissolves what resistance strengthens.

Examples

• Journaling about emotions like anger instead of hiding from them.
• Identifying patterns of envy in relationships and exploring their origins.
• Using moments of discomfort as opportunities for self-inquiry.

6. Releasing Your Narrative Frees You

Everyone carries personal stories about who they are, where they’ve come from, and what they aim to be. These narratives provide structure but can also limit you. Sticking rigidly to your "storyline" keeps you trapped in predefined roles and expectations.

Breaking free from your narrative allows you to act spontaneously and connect more deeply with the present moment. You don’t worry as much about embarrassment or looking foolish. Meditation fosters this flexibility of identity by helping you drop preconceived notions about yourself.

For example, the story of Juan, a tough kid from LA, illustrates transformation through letting go. He learned to discard the “tough guy” persona that limited his potential, opening himself to growth and new life paths.

Examples

• Trying something new others wouldn't typically associate with you.
• Dropping unhelpful narratives like "I can't sing" or "I’m bad at art."
• Recognizing when limiting beliefs hold you back from growth opportunities.

7. Suffering Deepens Your Compassion

Experiencing your own struggles can open your heart toward those who suffer as well. Compassion grows naturally when we see pain as a shared experience rather than isolating us from others.

Mother Teresa’s willingness to sit with lepers and care for the most destitute demonstrates how proximity to pain fosters kindness. By being present with others' suffering—for example, listening to a friend vent without judgment—you can strengthen genuine connections.

Breathing exercises like tonglen help take this process further. By visualizing someone else's pain as you breathe in and sending out your own strength as you exhale, you cultivate empathy even for those you dislike.

Examples

• Comforting a friend going through a difficult time without trying to fix things.
• Practicing tonglen with individuals who irritate or anger you.
• Volunteering in community initiatives that promote connection.

8. Facing Embarrassment Builds Courage

Fear of embarrassment often keeps people locked within their comfort zones. Yet courage blooms when you're willing to look silly or bold enough to be vulnerable.

For instance, Trungpa Rinpoche’s flat singing voice captivated listeners not for its melody but for the fearlessness within it. His willingness to sing off-key demonstrated the power of showing up, imperfections and all.

By stepping out of feared scenarios of judgment, individuals can open themselves to more authenticity in life interactions.

Examples

• Trying public speaking despite initial hesitance.
• Sharing an unpolished creative work, like a poem, with a supportive group.
• Dancing in public or letting your personality shine without second-guessing it.

9. Meditation Prepares You to Serve

Regular meditation equips you to serve others more effectively by grounding you in compassion and patience. Instead of positioning yourself as a savior, you meet others with humility and mutual respect.

Practices like tonglen encourage selflessness by guiding you to share positive energy while taking in worry or pain. This approach dissolves separation, fostering unity even with perceived enemies.

Serving others with an open heart doesn't mean fixing every problem. Sometimes, simply being present proves to be the most powerful support.

Examples

• Listening deeply to someone without offering advice unless asked.
• Performing small acts of kindness, like helping a neighbor in need.
• Practicing tonglen sessions for individuals you find challenging.

Takeaways

1. Begin a daily breathing practice to center yourself in the present and guide your wandering thoughts back gently.
2. Challenge yourself to embrace feelings you find uncomfortable rather than avoiding or suppressing them.
3. Try tonglen breathing exercises to cultivate compassion, especially toward individuals you find difficult to understand.