Take Back Your Power Summary

Workplaces aren’t fair, but that doesn’t mean you can’t thrive within them. Learn to reclaim power and pave your own way to success.

1. Acknowledge the Playing Field

Women face different expectations and biases from an early age. These disparities shape the challenges they experience in the workplace.
Encouraging traits in girls like being cooperative or “nice” inadvertently discourages leadership qualities praised in boys. When these girls grow up and enter their careers, they often have to choose between being liked or being powerful. Recognizing this dynamic is the first step to addressing it.

Underpaying mothers and promoting fathers simply for parenting underscore deep gender gaps. Research shows working mothers suffer a 30% hit on their earnings over their careers, while fathers enjoy salary boosts. Acknowledging such patterns helps us question them and demand better.

Understanding these biases isn’t enough. Action, like speaking up against inequities or outdated tropes, matters. When Mark Zuckerberg suggested we tell girls to “be the nerd” rather than “date the nerd,” he flipped the standard narrative toward empowerment instead of reliance.

Examples

• Girls are called “bossy” while boys are called leaders.
• Salaries drop 4% per child for women but rise 6% per child for men.
• Zuckerberg challenging an outdated notion with the advice to "be the nerd."

2. Let Go of Free Passes

Avoiding challenges may feel comfortable but can hold you back. Letting yourself “blend in” or avoid risks is a free pass that might limit your growth.
Many people bypass challenges because they seem scary or uncomfortable. As a young woman in a male-dominated environment, Deb Liu avoided conflict or standing out, masking herself to fit in. But giving oneself permission to ‘opt out’ is costly. True growth demands we stop holding ourselves back.

Carol Isozaki’s concept of free passes is simple: anytime we quietly step back or minimize ourselves, we lose opportunities to grow. This doesn't just mean avoiding work challenges; it can also apply to avoiding conversations about uncomfortable but needed change.

Liu spent a year working to stop holding herself back. By pushing through discomfort, she discovered her capability and strength. Choosing growth over avoidance transformed her career trajectory.

Examples

• Deb Liu hiding during her early years in a new town to avoid bullying.
• Women avoiding leadership opportunities in difficult settings.
• Carol Isozaki’s advice that free passes have long-term costs.

3. Discover Your Superpower

Every person has a distinct strength, one that defines them and adds unique value to the world. Amplifying this “superpower” is key to standing out and thriving.
Instead of adopting broad skill sets or trying to blend in, identifying and leaning into what sets you apart can lead to unparalleled success. Whether it’s creativity, analysis, or building relationships, showcasing your authentic abilities is vital.

Many workplaces fail to appreciate these unique attributes, often valuing a limited set of traits. This can discourage women from using their skills. Sylvia Acevedo excelled not by trying to fit in but by leveraging her adaptability and determination to break stereotypes.

Celebrate your skills, nurture them, and let them shine. Like Captain Marvel’s emergence as a standalone hero, you can be the protagonist of your own success story by recognizing your gifts.

Examples

• Sylvia Acevedo taking on space engineering despite stereotypes.
• Marvel taking 20 years to release a female standalone superhero movie.
• Acevedo revitalizing the Girl Scouts to emphasize STEM programs.

4. Recognize Work-Life Balances Begin at Home

Your support system at home directly influences your success at work. Building an equitable partnership with a spouse or sharing responsibilities is critical.
Sheryl Sandberg said the most significant career choice is often who you marry. Strong support teams and fair division of labor at home are essential for success in demanding careers.

Anne-Marie Slaughter could take on governmental leadership positions only because her husband shouldered the majority of household and parenting duties. However, few couples follow this model. Statistics highlight that working women, on average, take on several more hours of housework daily than their spouses, impacting their energy and growth at work.

Reassessing partnerships and dividing tasks equitably benefits all parties. It's not just about thriving in industries but creating sustainable personal lives that counter burnout and setbacks.

Examples

• Anne-Marie Slaughter’s husband adopting the “lead parent” role.
• Sandberg’s statement about marriage influencing one’s career.
• Studies showing working wives doing two extra hours of household duties compared to their husbands.

5. Write Your Legacy in Advance

Understanding your purpose starts with envisioning how you’d want to be remembered. Reflecting on the end of your life helps you shape the direction of your journey.
Spend time crafting your obituary. What would you want it to say about your character, achievements, and contributions to the world? Doing so clarifies your priorities and encourages intentional everyday decisions.

Former Facebook executive Carolyn Everson used personal vision statements to align her career with long-term values. Creating yearly goals became her grounding practice, influencing both her and her global team’s growth.

Once you imagine your ideal legacy, actions toward that legacy become clearer. Drafting this vision ensures your professional goals align with your personal values, creating sustained motivation.

Examples

• Deb Liu drafting her obituary to define her greater purpose.
• Everson annually reaffirming her values and inspiring her team to do the same.
• Focusing on long-term contributions instead of short-term achievements.

Takeaways

1. Reflect on workplace inequalities and educate yourself so you can actively challenge them and support others facing similar obstacles.
2. Identify your unique strengths, amplify them, and lean into discomfort to stand out in your chosen path.
3. Balance and communicate responsibilities at home to foster healthier, more sustainable work-life dynamics.