Tell Me My Story

Is it their well-being or mine? What if we didn't have to choose but could instead find balance while serving others?

1. Self-Care and Service Can Coexist

The idea that self-care and serving others are mutually exclusive is common in humanitarian work. Many caregiving professionals believe that putting personal well-being first diminishes the value of their service. Yet, Dhabalia suggests the opposite: caring for oneself enhances caregiving.

Humanitarian work often involves exposure to trauma and relentless challenges. Teachers, caregivers, and first responders often experience exhaustion and emotional strain, considering it a badge of honor. However, Dhabalia argues this perception fosters burnout rather than productivity. By redefining self-care as essential and not indulgent, humanitarians can sustain their capacity to serve in the long run.

Organizations also play a role in cultivating this balance. Cultures that foster compassion and respect for workers’ needs acknowledge the human element in humanitarianism. Service becomes a genuine two-way street of healing when both caregivers and recipients benefit.

Examples

• A teacher who sets boundaries on work hours to focus on rest and family finds renewed energy for students.
• A nonprofit worker attending therapy to process secondary trauma better engages beneficiaries.
• Organizations with supportive policies like mental health breaks report higher job satisfaction among employees.

2. Take Responsibility for Your Well-Being

Waiting for organizations to fix structural issues is common, but Dhabalia challenges individuals to take radical responsibility for their health. This involves owning one’s thoughts, actions, and how they impact others.

Personal responsibility doesn't mean relinquishing organizational accountability. Instead, it empowers individuals to focus on actions within their control. Building healthier habits, practicing self-awareness, and seeking solutions help workers thrive, even in imperfect systems. Accountability, mindset, and well-being represent the foundation of radical responsibility.

For instance, accountability isn't about blame but about recognizing one's role in challenges and actively working on them. A growth mindset focuses on adapting and learning, rather than becoming defensively stagnant. Combined, these approaches foster resilience and sustainable growth.

Examples

• A shelter worker practicing meditation navigates high-stress environments better.
• A physician learning better time-management avoids burnout by adjusting how they handle overpacked schedules.
• A social worker open to feedback improves work-life balance and becomes more effective in assisting clients.

3. Mindfulness as a Tool for Awareness

Mindfulness cultivates clarity. By becoming aware of our emotions and stress triggers, we open the door to better decision-making and deeper self-compassion.

Rather than silencing thoughts, mindfulness teaches us to observe them without judgment, understanding their roots and navigating them constructively. This not only improves individual well-being but also enhances the capacity for empathy and connection. With practice, mindfulness becomes a tool to regulate emotions and respond calmly to crises.

Balancing hyper-stressful days with small mindful actions creates a profound change in perspective. As workers develop this skill, it becomes easier to separate from overwhelming stress and embrace solutions.

Examples

• A counselor uses breathing exercises to navigate heated moments with clients.
• First responders journaling their emotions weekly notice improved mental clarity.
• Mindfulness workshops in organizations increase employee focus and emotional resilience.

4. Self-Care is Necessary, Not Luxury

Historically, self-care is seen as indulgent, and guilt often accompanies any effort toward personal well-being in caregiving professions. This mindset is flawed and dangerous. Without self-care, humanitarian workers risk serious physical, emotional, and relational fallout.

Reframing self-care as a non-negotiable allows workers to sustain their ability to give. It’s not about lavish spa days but finding simple, restorative practices that promote recovery. Caregivers who prioritize themselves are more present and effective with the people they serve.

Establishing personal routines for healing ensures that ongoing service delivery doesn’t deplete workers' energy reservoirs. Doing so is neither selfish nor optional—it’s the foundation for long-term engagement without sacrificing personal health.

Examples

• A nurse scheduling regular walking breaks avoids feeling overwhelmed during long hospital shifts.
• Team members sharing gratitude with each other at day-end boost collective morale.
• A psychologist using five-minute breathing exercises between patients reduces emotional drain.

5. The Role of Boundaries in Sustainable Giving

Healthy boundaries allow humanitarians to give effectively without becoming overwhelmed. Establishing clear limits isn’t about shutting others out but about making space to recharge and return stronger.

People with poorly defined boundaries often feel resentful or exhausted from constant demands. On the other hand, caregivers who communicate limits preserve their energy and provide higher-quality care. Drawing lines around time, availability, or emotional engagement helps avoid compassion fatigue and ensures the ability to sustain service.

The idea is simple: support others willingly but not at your own expense. Clear self-boundaries lead to better problem-solving, deeper personal relationships, and a stronger foundation for professional contribution.

Examples

• A disaster-relief volunteer sets a no-checking-email-after-7 p.m. rule to maintain family connection.
• A social worker teaches clients to problem-solve independently instead of always being on-call.
• Teachers scheduling availability blocks become more focused and accessible during those hours.

6. Small Acts of Self-Care Add Up

Grand gestures aren’t the only way to practice self-care. Incorporating small, daily actions builds cumulative benefits over time, preparing individuals for bigger challenges.

Simple routines, like stretching after prolonged sitting or briefly meditating, are quick but effective. Micro self-care practices maintain baseline well-being, making long days or tough moments easier to handle. These small efforts often prevent larger physical or mental health problems.

This approach addresses the classic excuse of not having enough time. By weaving short reprieves into daily schedules, caregivers can maintain energy levels and emotional balance consistently.

Examples

• A teacher maintains a gratitude journal, writing three positive moments from their day every night.
• Taking five minutes to enjoy coffee mindfully slows a high-pressure morning for an NGO manager.
• A paramedic uses car rides as time for reflective thinking and listening to calming music.

7. Rewriting the Leadership Rulebook

Leadership in humanitarian organizations is evolving. Traditional views of control, perfection, and detachment no longer address the emotional realities of mission-driven work.

Leaders who embrace vulnerability encourage their teams to talk openly, connecting authentically. Trust and support grow within these environments. Compassionate leaders are better equipped to inspire teams and model behaviors that build long-term success. This helps break the idea of leadership being about authority alone and transforms it into collective growth.

By admitting mistakes, showing human flaws, and valuing curiosity, compassionate leaders shift power dynamics in a positive way.

Examples

• A hospital director sharing personal struggles with staff creates an empathetic culture.
• A manager prioritizing team wellness initiatives over productivity increases retention rates.
• NGO leaders attending emotional intelligence workshops foster better internal communication.

8. Connection Over Control

The core of leadership lies in connection, not merely control. When leaders are open to learning and listen to team members, they create a growth-centered workplace.

Avoiding the urge to micromanage allows employees to take initiative and feel valued. By understanding individual needs, compassionate leaders avoid assumptions and work collaboratively toward shared goals. This approach lays the groundwork for a culture of mutual respect and honest communication.

Prioritizing connection helps teams thrive, even under immense pressure, reinforcing a collective mission while also respecting individual needs within that mission.

Examples

• A nonprofit leader holding regular check-ins builds support networks within teams.
• A CEO encouraging staff feedback encourages collaboration over hierarchy.
• An organization-wide emphasis on work-life balance strengthens employee dedication.

9. Embracing Humanity in Humanitarianism

At its heart, humanitarian work is about shared humanity. Acknowledging this fosters community healing, personal fulfillment, and an understanding of interconnectedness. By reframing service as a shared experience of growth, caregivers and recipients both benefit equally.

Viewing humanitarians not just as professionals but as people who themselves need healing transforms organizations. Instead of an “us-versus-them” divide, service becomes a shared journey toward collective betterment. This fosters compassion and breaks down barriers both within teams and with those being helped.

The result? Renewed purpose and deeper meaning in the work, creating an environment of coexistence and mutual understanding.

Examples

• Organizations offering trauma-processing resources deepen trust among team members.
• Health workers attending shared grief sessions recover empathy after patient losses.
• Humanitarians volunteering as teams bond over experiences, strengthening workplace solidarity.

Takeaways

1. Integrate small but consistent self-care actions into daily life—start by identifying what brings you peace in five minutes or less.
2. Practice mindfulness without overcomplicating it. Begin with deep breathing exercises to reset during challenging moments.
3. Lead with vulnerability and curiosity, showing compassion not only to your team but also to yourself.