The Power of Choice

"How do you turn challenges and doubts from others into a stepping stone for your success? By harnessing the power of choice and focusing on what you can control.”

1. Stay Focused on What You Can Control

When others doubt your abilities, it’s easy to lose confidence. Workplace environments may still carry subtle biases, whether it’s assumptions about gender, ethnicity, or background. Instead of internalizing these doubts, you should focus on your response to them.

Low expectations can create a damaging spiral. For example, if you start believing these doubts, your confidence falters, you put in less effort, and your performance suffers. This, in turn, seems to confirm the doubts holding you back. Breaking this cycle requires you to emphasize what you can control: your actions and mindset.

The author emphasizes an empowering mantra: “It’s not the stimulus, it’s the response.” By owning your actions, you can redirect negativity into growth. Starting with a personal responsibility mindset not only changes how you approach challenges but helps you build the skills and confidence needed to rise above unfair expectations.

Examples

• A Black junior executive chose not to fixate on being overlooked for mentorship but worked on expanding their technical and leadership skills.
• A woman in a male-dominated industry overcame doubts by consciously seeking opportunities to lead successful projects.
• In a new job, an employee focused on delivering outstanding work instead of dwelling on subtle biases.

2. Treat Failure as a Learning Opportunity

It’s easy to feel discouraged after a setback, but failure doesn’t define your potential. Instead, it provides insight into what to improve. This mindset shift can be transformative in your professional growth.

Research on elite soccer players showed that practice and effort, rather than innate talent, often define success. Players born earlier in a school year had developmental advantages, simply because of their age. This proves that skills can be nurtured with effort and time, even if you start with disadvantages.

Adopt a capacity-building approach by asking yourself three questions after a setback: What happened? Why did it happen? How can I improve? By treating failure as feedback, you build resilience and open up opportunities for continued growth.

Examples

• A struggling musician analyzed their performance errors, leading to focused improvement in weaker areas.
• A young manager used a failed team project as a chance to improve their delegation skills.
• An unsuccessful job candidate sought constructive feedback and worked on interview strategies that landed them a future role.

3. Clarify Your Goals Before Taking Action

Hard work doesn’t always translate to progress, especially if you haven’t defined what you want to achieve. To make the best use of your energy, take the time to clarify your goals.

Without a clear vision, you risk spinning your wheels. Imagine a driver circling a neighborhood without knowing their destination; their efforts are wasted. Similarly, professionals like Germaine, who buried herself in routine tasks, often miss growth opportunities because they don’t align their work with their long-term aspirations.

To develop a vision, ask yourself what success looks like for you. Is it professional advancement, creative satisfaction, or financial achievement? By defining your desired outcomes, you can then prioritize your tasks and focus on actions that directly lead to your goals.

Examples

• Germaine declined an opportunity due to her overwhelming workflow but could have benefited from clearer prioritization of her career goals.
• A young developer mapped out a step-by-step process to gain leadership skills, rather than just completing work without direction.
• A teacher reevaluated their time to focus on professional development workshops.

4. Be Proactive in Building Connections

New environments can feel lonely, especially when colleagues aren’t immediately welcoming. But waiting for others to approach you won’t help. To gain acceptance and foster valuable alliances, you may need to take the first step.

This can feel intimidating, especially across cultural or social differences, but it pays off. People appreciate coworkers who actively engage and share who they are. Preparing an engaging introduction that combines your skills, interests, and unique personality will help start these conversations.

Building strong professional relationships requires more than just knowing someone’s name. Over time, trust develops as mutual understanding grows. This trust often results in deeper collaboration and long-term work relationships.

Examples

• Eduardo reached out personally to coworkers in Ohio, despite initial cultural differences, to build rapport.
• A manager impressed a consultant during an introduction by sharing their unique motorcycle racing hobby.
• An intern introduced herself with enthusiasm, leading to mentorship with a senior leader.

5. Build Relationships by Finding Shared Interests

Strong work relationships rely on understanding and sharing common interests. This helps create alliances that benefit both parties. Finding these points of connection requires curiosity and effort.

For example, Darnell successfully resolved a professional conflict by showing both parties how their success depended on one another. Instead of focusing on differences, he highlighted mutual gains. Start by learning what drives your colleagues—their goals, values, and working styles—and find ways to support each other.

Regular communication and understanding pave the way for connection. Even when differences arise, staying focused on collaboration rather than confrontation strengthens relationships.

Examples

• Darnell reconciled two parties in a dispute by pointing out mutual advantages to working together.
• A manager who took the initiative to learn her employees’ working styles found better productivity within her team.
• A professional bridged cultural gaps by listening to colleagues’ stories and sharing their own.

6. Shape Opportunities to Share Your Voice

Having great ideas means little if you don’t share them. Influence begins with making your voice heard and choosing to contribute, even when it feels uncomfortable at first.

If you’re used to being in the background, speaking up in meetings or offering proactive solutions may take effort. Watch the dynamics of your workplace: are there opportunities to present ideas, contribute in committee meetings, or lead small projects? Each of these efforts builds your visibility and confidence.

The more you participate, the easier it becomes to communicate your value to others and gain influence. Learning leadership starts with owning your space and daring to make contributions.

Examples

• A warehouse supervisor made an impactful contribution by joining a process improvement committee and suggesting actionable changes.
• A self-conscious employee began speaking up in team meetings, which improved their collaboration and visibility.
• A junior employee proposed a new workflow process, which later enhanced team efficiency.

7. Observe and Learn from Effective Leaders

To better exert influence in your workplace, study how experienced leaders operate. This doesn’t just involve watching their decisions but analyzing their strategies for inspiring and persuading others.

Good leaders gain commitment by creating shared visions and fostering collaboration, even when facing opposition. Learn their techniques for handling rejection gracefully and maintaining momentum behind their ideas.

By modeling efforts after successful leaders, you gain practical tools to shape your workplace interactions. Combining observation with practice helps align leadership strategies with your personal style.

Examples

• A junior public relations executive noted how senior managers listened carefully before proposing solutions.
• An HR professional observed how their director framed meetings to encourage participation and buy-in from staff.
• A nonprofit volunteer studied how team leaders navigated conflict calmly to protect their goals.

8. Make Shift from Task-Doer to Strategic Leader

Staying busy with routine tasks can limit growth if you’re not engaging strategically. Leaders focus on high-value tasks that contribute to long-term outcomes. Shift your approach by identifying responsibilities that expand your influence and skill set.

Stepping into a leadership role means setting a clear vision for others. Delegate mundane tasks strategically and align your time with initiatives that align with organizational goals. This is how true leaders stand out in their teams.

Becoming strategic solidifies your professional progression and visibility in meaningful ways.

Examples

• A senior analyst delegated data entry tasks to focus on presenting key metrics to executives.
• A new manager shifted their attention to team development instead of individual projects.
• A marketing professional took leadership of campaign planning instead of just execution.

9. Take Small Risks to Grow

Progress isn’t always easy; it often involves stepping into the unknown. Taking risks, even small ones, helps you grow and learn. Whether it’s speaking up, embracing challenges, or exploring new responsibilities, these actions bolster resilience and skill.

Fear can hold you back, but consider each opportunity as a lesson. By trying something outside your comfort zone, you stretch your limitations and build confidence over time.

Each risk taken adds to your sense of empowerment, laying the foundation for greater endeavors in the future.

Examples

• A hesitant engineer volunteered to lead a design presentation, which later earned recognition from leadership.
• An introverted employee kicked off team meetings to practice public speaking.
• Volunteer mentorship transformed one employee’s networking abilities over a year.

Takeaways

1. Turn every failure into actionable strategies. Ask: "What can I improve from this?"
2. Proactively connect with new colleagues. Start with a friendly introduction to build trust.
3. Learn workplace dynamics. Study how effective leaders in your organization inspire and gain approval.