The Promises of Giants

"Would you recognize your soul in the dark?" This profound question lies at the heart of John Amaechi's teachings, inviting us to deeply examine who we are and the impact we have on others.

1. Everyone Has Untapped Strength

We all possess immense inner potential, whether we recognize it or not. Amaechi uses the metaphor of being a "giant" to describe this strength, emphasizing our capability to make a difference. Like Amaechi himself, who transitioned from professional basketball to becoming a psychologist, everyone has the ability to unlock this power.

But this strength comes with responsibility. Just as Amaechi had to navigate situations carefully to avoid accidentally hurting someone due to his physical stature, we too must wield our influence thoughtfully. Our actions can either inspire and empower others or cause unintended harm.

This understanding leads to a balanced approach. Amaechi urges us to focus on our own growth while creating environments where others can succeed. By fostering fairness, collaboration, and support, giants build relationships and systems that benefit everyone.

Examples

• Amaechi’s basketball experience taught him the importance of teamwork over individual achievement.
• Leaders who encourage team growth, not just their own success, amplify collective capability.
• Simple acts of kindness, like listening attentively to coworkers, can motivate others to thrive.

2. Know Yourself Deeply to Progress

Amaechi learned early in life to carefully analyze himself. His mother’s question about recognizing his soul in the dark pushed him toward profound self-awareness. Understanding who you are beyond labels and surface traits is key to achieving meaningful success.

This involves identifying habits and tendencies that hold you back. Amaechi realized his fondness for pie and reluctance to exert himself challenged his NBA aspirations. By addressing these tendencies, he was able to move forward, both athletically and personally.

Self-reflection should be an ongoing practice. Asking yourself difficult questions about your motivations, fears, and reactions to emotions helps you uncover blind spots. This habit is foundational to becoming not just a better leader, but also a better human being.

Examples

• Amaechi’s introspection helped him face his weaknesses and plan for success.
• Reflecting on your reactions to challenges can help you choose better paths.
• Leaders who regularly examine their actions create stronger, more conscious decision-making processes.

3. Vulnerability Unlocks Growth

Sharing your dreams or weaknesses can feel scary, but it’s a necessary step toward personal growth. As a teenager, Amaechi’s dream of playing in the NBA seemed far-fetched. Yet, despite doubts and ridicule, he kept sharing his ambition, reinforcing his commitment.

Vulnerability often opens the door to transformation. When you risk deepening relationships or betting on an uncertain path, you step into a zone where progress happens. It also invites others to become allies in your journey, as Amaechi discovered through a coach who believed in him.

By exposing your goals or admitting you need help, you make space for guidance and support. Vulnerability strengthens your focus and builds connections, which are vital for achieving ambitious dreams.

Examples

• Sending thousands of letters to basketball coaches despite rejection showed Amaechi's vulnerability.
• Admitting mistakes at work often fosters trust among teams.
• Sharing personal aspirations invites others to contribute toward making them a reality.

4. Beware of Unchecked Biases

Biases, conscious or unconscious, influence everyone. Amaechi points out that while biases are part of being human, their effects can be mitigated with effort. His mother changed his name to "John" to counteract others' biased reactions to his ethnic name, showcasing an awareness of societal tendencies.

Programs like unconscious bias training can fall short because they act as if biases are uncontrollable instincts. In reality, people have the ability to make different choices when they’re aware of their biases.

The challenge lies in consistently addressing biases—both personally and within organizational culture. By challenging assumptions and fostering respectful communication, leaders can create fairer, more inclusive environments.

Examples

• Amaechi’s mother preemptively tackled societal bias by changing his name.
• Calling out assumptions in workplace or social settings prevents marginalization.
• Asking open-ended questions helps uncover others' authentic selves without projecting assumptions.

5. Uplift Others to Thrive Together

The way others treat us shapes our self-identity. As a child, negative treatment left Amaechi feeling monstrous, even though his mother consistently praised his intelligence. Personal interactions, he explains, have the power to either uplift or marginalize.

When you believe in someone’s abilities, you influence their confidence and performance. Even in small moments, showing that you value other people lets them know they matter, inspiring them to do their best.

Nurturing others isn’t just about kindness—it drives better results. Encouraging a teammate with constructive feedback or simply treating them with respect can prompt them to deliver their strongest effort.

Examples

• As a kid, Amaechi's confidence waned due to others’ hurtful comments about his size.
• Leaders who actively support their employees see greater dedication in return.
• Praising someone’s efforts, even when imperfect, can motivate continued improvement.

6. Be Fully Present with Others

In today’s rushed world, showing even small gestures of attentiveness makes a big difference. Amaechi learned this from a car-share driver who went out of his way to make Amaechi feel comfortable after a long flight.

Creating intentional presence—whether in person or virtually—enhances relationships and productivity. Amaechi suggests checking your own emotions before meetings, aligning body language to show respect, and establishing warm engagement.

By practicing presence, you not only foster trust and positivity but also sharpen your focus on current tasks. This can reduce stress and improve decision-making in the long run.

Examples

• Amaechi’s driver prepared a thoughtful environment, making him feel valued.
• Keeping phones out of sight during conversations strengthens personal connections.
• Leaders who actively listen to their team often receive better feedback and ideas.

7. Tackle Small Problems Early

Unchecked behaviors, like littering in Amaechi’s courtyard example, can escalate into bigger issues. This applies to workplace culture, where ignoring small transgressions fosters broader dysfunction.

Amaechi emphasizes addressing behaviors as they arise rather than waiting for full-blown crises to occur. This proactive approach sets clear expectations and empowers others to uphold positive norms.

Whether you’re in a leadership position or an entry-level role, calling out behaviors that harm culture—even subtly—shows others they also have a role in shaping an effective team environment.

Examples

• Ignored cigarette butts in a courtyard eventually caused fires.
• Quietly tolerating workplace interruptions can allow disrespect to spread.
• Addressing lateness in meetings early prevents it from becoming habitual.

8. Build True Belonging

Belonging is powerful, as Amaechi discovered playing for the Orlando Magic. Despite higher offers from elite teams, he stayed because the Magic culture valued people, trust, and genuine connection.

Teams that foster inclusion inspire stronger loyalty and performance. When people feel seen and supported, they’re more likely to tackle challenges and bring their best selves to work.

True belonging transforms groups of individuals into cohesive teams. With shared purpose and mutual respect, even failures become opportunities to learn rather than reasons to assign blame.

Examples

• Amaechi turned down millions from the Lakers to stay with the Magic.
• Inclusive workplaces lower turnover rates by keeping employees engaged.
• Trust-based teams recover from losses faster than blame-driven ones.

9. Choices Create Culture

Culture isn’t built through grand statements or expensive perks; it’s created by the everyday choices people make. Amaechi argues that workplace culture forms through small, consistent behaviors.

When leaders ignore minor infractions or evade responsibility, toxic environments emerge. However, holding oneself and others accountable for these actions reinforces positive norms and values.

Both leaders and employees play a role. By committing to responsible, respectful behavior, everyone contributes to a sustainable, respectful workplace culture.

Examples

• Amaechi observed how silent bystanders allowed trash to accumulate in his courtyard.
• Shifting work habits over time transforms larger systems.
• Small policies, like consistently following meeting times, establish team reliability.

Takeaways

1. Develop a habit of self-reflection. Regularly ask yourself what behaviors might be holding you back and how you can grow.
2. Actively support others’ aspirations by offering constructive feedback and genuine praise for their efforts.
3. Address small issues immediately to prevent larger challenges. From workplace norms to team dynamics, tackle one step at a time.