Introduction
In "The Promises of Giants," John Amaechi, a former NBA player turned psychologist, shares his insights on how to achieve extraordinary success while making a positive impact on the world. The book's central premise is that everyone has the potential to be a "giant" – someone who can tap into their own potential and use their power to elevate others.
Amaechi's journey from a basketball-loving teenager in Manchester, England, to a successful NBA player and then a psychologist, forms the backdrop for his exploration of what it means to be a giant. He argues that success isn't just about personal achievement, but about creating environments that foster potential in everyone.
The book outlines seven key promises that giants must make to themselves and others. These promises serve as a roadmap for those who want to achieve their goals, distinguish themselves as leaders, and make the world a better place. Let's dive into these promises and explore how they can transform your approach to success and leadership.
Promise 1: Know Yourself Deeply
The first and most fundamental promise of a giant is to commit to deep self-knowledge. This promise is the foundation upon which all other promises are built.
Amaechi illustrates this concept with a personal anecdote from his teenage years. When he shared his ambitious plan to become an NBA player with his mother, she didn't focus on the details of his strategy. Instead, she asked him a profound question: "Would you recognize your soul in the dark?"
This question highlights the importance of understanding your deepest nature, beyond surface-level characteristics. Amaechi's mother was pointing out that the biggest obstacles to success often come from within – our own tendencies, habits, and blind spots.
To become a giant, you need to develop a habit of regular and thorough self-reflection. Ask yourself:
- What do you try hardest to avoid?
- What irritates you and what inspires you?
- How do you react to big emotions?
- What do you need to feel at peace?
The goal is to understand yourself beyond demographic descriptors like age, gender, or nationality. Dive deep into exploring who you are when you strip away physical and biological characteristics.
This ongoing commitment to self-knowledge gives you an up-to-date, objective, and accurate picture of who you are. It allows you to make the most of your assets and overcome your liabilities. Without this deep self-understanding, you risk being derailed by your own unexamined tendencies and blind spots.
Promise 2: Be Vulnerable
The second promise of giants is to be vulnerable. This might seem counterintuitive – after all, isn't strength and invulnerability what we typically associate with giants? However, Amaechi argues that vulnerability is a crucial component of success and growth.
Amaechi shares his own experience of vulnerability when, as a teenager, he wrote thousands of letters by hand to American high school coaches, sharing his dream of playing in the NBA. This act of putting himself out there, risking rejection and ridicule, was a crucial step in his journey to success.
Being vulnerable offers three important gifts:
It pushes you into transformative spaces: Personal growth happens when you step out of your comfort zone and take risks. By being vulnerable and sharing your goals and dreams, you open yourself up to new opportunities and experiences.
It keeps your dream in focus: When you articulate your goals to others, you reaffirm them to yourself. This keeps you committed and accountable to your dreams.
It helps you find allies: By being open about your ambitions and the help you need, you create opportunities to connect with people who can support you on your journey.
Amaechi's persistence in sharing his dream eventually led him to connect with a coach in Toledo, Ohio, who recognized his potential and offered him a place at the school. This connection became a crucial stepping stone in Amaechi's path to the NBA.
The lesson here is clear: don't be afraid to share your dreams and goals, even if it makes you feel vulnerable. It's through this vulnerability that you open yourself up to growth, keep yourself accountable, and find the support you need to succeed.
Promise 3: Monitor Your Biases Vigilantly
The third promise of giants is to be constantly aware of and monitor their biases. Amaechi introduces this concept with a personal story about his mother changing his first name from Uzoma to John when he was eleven. This wasn't because she was ashamed of his name, but because she understood the biases that exist in society and wanted to protect her son from potential discrimination.
This anecdote illustrates a crucial truth: everyone has biases. The key is not to deny their existence, but to be aware of them and choose whether or not to let them influence our words and actions.
Amaechi challenges the effectiveness of popular unconscious bias training programs. These programs often suggest that we act on every thought we have and that since these thoughts are unconscious, we have no control over the actions they prompt. Amaechi argues that this is flawed thinking. We always have a choice when it comes to our words and actions, regardless of our initial thoughts or instincts.
To be a giant, you must:
Take responsibility for your behavior: Recognize that you have control over your actions, regardless of your initial thoughts or biases.
Address unacceptable behavior immediately: Don't let biased actions or comments slide, even if confronting them creates tension or discomfort.
Hold yourself accountable: Constantly question your assumptions about others and strive to learn more about them through respectful conversation.
Avoid making assumptions: Treat everyone you meet, even those you think you know well, as endlessly fascinating individuals worthy of genuine curiosity and respect.
By vigilantly monitoring and addressing biases – both your own and those of others – you can become a true agent of change in your workplace and community.
Promise 4: Nurture Everyone's Potential
The fourth promise of giants is to actively nurture the potential in everyone around them. This promise is rooted in the understanding that how we respond to others shapes not only their feelings but also their sense of identity and potential.
Amaechi illustrates this concept with a personal story from his childhood. When he changed schools at age eleven, he went from seeing himself as a clever kid (through his mother's eyes) to feeling like a monster due to how his new schoolmates treated him. This dramatic shift in his self-perception led him to withdraw and "blur out" much of the world to protect himself from hurt.
This story highlights the profound impact our responses can have on others, especially those we lead or work with. As a giant, you must understand that your reactions and expectations can shape how others see themselves and their potential.
Amaechi references the work of German-American psychologist Robert Rosenthal, who found that when we show someone we believe in their potential, they're more likely to thrive. Our expressions and body language can reinforce our faith in their abilities, which alone can improve their performance.
To nurture potential in others:
Look for value in every idea: Even if a colleague's idea isn't perfect, find something worth exploring or praising.
Be mindful of your expressions: Ensure your face and body language convey belief and encouragement, not dismissal or doubt.
Empower through your reactions: Use your responses to make others feel capable and valued.
Create a supportive environment: Foster a culture where everyone feels their potential is recognized and nurtured.
By consistently nurturing the potential in others, you not only help them grow and succeed but also create a more positive and productive environment for everyone.
Promise 5: Be Consistently Present
The fifth promise of giants is to be consistently present in all interactions. This promise is about giving your full attention and care to the people you interact with, making them feel seen and valued.
Amaechi introduces this concept with an anecdote about a car service driver who had prepared the car to accommodate Amaechi's height, making him feel seen and cared for. This level of attention and consideration is what giants should strive for in all their interactions, especially in the workplace.
To help achieve this level of presence, Amaechi introduces the POB technique, inspired by the car service driver's "Passenger on Board" notification. The POB technique involves three steps:
Preparation: Before meeting someone, check in with yourself. Clear any lingering emotions from previous situations and commit to being positive and supportive.
Orientation: Pay attention to your body language. Face the person you're talking to, put away distractions like your phone, and give them your full attention.
Behavior: Maintain eye contact, mirror the other person's posture and gestures subtly, and adjust your expressions to ensure they're clearly visible (especially important in online meetings).
The POB technique not only helps build trust and connection with your team, making them feel valued and supported, but it also increases your own focus. By concentrating on the present moment, you're less likely to get overwhelmed by your to-do list and more likely to pay attention to important details.
Being consistently present has several benefits:
- It makes your colleagues feel important and valued.
- It improves team performance by fostering better communication and understanding.
- It helps you stay focused and reduces stress by keeping you in the present moment.
- It reduces mistakes by ensuring you're paying full attention to the task or conversation at hand.
By making this promise to be consistently present, you create an environment where people feel truly seen and heard, which is crucial for building strong, effective teams and relationships.
Promise 6: Drive Your Workplace Culture
The sixth promise of giants is to take an active role in shaping and driving workplace culture. Amaechi illustrates this concept with an analogy of a littered courtyard he can see from his balcony. He observes how small transgressions, like tossing cigarette butts, go unchallenged and eventually lead to larger problems, like fires starting from accumulated trash.
This analogy demonstrates how workplace culture is formed:
- Small transgressions go unchallenged because they seem insignificant.
- Others see these behaviors and assume they're acceptable.
- The problematic behavior spreads and escalates.
- Eventually, a crisis point is reached, forcing management to intervene.
- The immediate problem is addressed, but the underlying behaviors often remain unchallenged.
Amaechi argues that many leaders misunderstand workplace culture. They might think it's created through superficial changes like adding a ping-pong table to the break room or bringing in occasional wellness specialists. However, these tokenistic attempts rarely lead to long-term change because they're not connected to what really drives culture.
On the other hand, many employees, especially those lower in the organizational hierarchy, might feel they have no influence over workplace culture. They assume that without formal authority, they can't shape the environment around them.
Giants understand a crucial truth about workplace culture: it's created by the millions of choices that each employee makes every day, regardless of their position in the company. While systemic forces in a company do affect culture, it ultimately comes down to how people treat each other on a daily basis.
To drive positive workplace culture as a giant:
Have zero tolerance for small transgressions: Address problematic behavior immediately, no matter how minor it might seem.
Lead by example: Demonstrate the behavior and attitudes you want to see in your workplace.
Empower others: Encourage and support your colleagues in addressing issues they see, creating a culture where everyone feels responsible for maintaining a positive environment.
Be consistent: Don't let your standards slip, even when it's inconvenient or uncomfortable to address issues.
Focus on choices: Remember that culture is built choice by choice, interaction by interaction. Every decision matters.
By taking responsibility for driving culture, you create an environment where positive behaviors are reinforced and negative ones are addressed promptly. This leads to a healthier, more productive workplace where everyone feels valued and empowered to contribute to the culture.
Promise 7: Foster Belonging to Create a True Team
The final promise of giants is to create an environment of true belonging. Amaechi illustrates this concept with a personal story from his NBA career. Despite receiving a more lucrative offer from the Los Angeles Lakers, Amaechi chose to stay with the Orlando Magic because of the sense of belonging he felt there.
This decision highlights the power of inclusion and belonging in motivating people and inspiring them to go above and beyond. The Magic had created an environment characterized by trust, psychological safety, and individual agency – qualities that Amaechi valued more than money or fame.
Giants understand that creating a workplace where people feel valued isn't just about making everyone feel good. It's about building a successful environment. Employees who feel they belong become loyal to their organization and committed to their work.
To foster belonging and create a true team:
Make each person feel seen and important: Take the time to recognize and appreciate each team member's unique contributions.
Create a culture of shared responsibility: When things go wrong, encourage the team to share the burden rather than looking for someone to blame.
Celebrate successes as a team: Recognize that victories are a result of collective effort, not individual heroics.
Encourage psychological safety: Create an environment where people feel safe to share ideas, make mistakes, and be themselves.
Promote trust and individual agency: Give team members the autonomy to make decisions and trust in their abilities.
The difference between a true team and a mere group of individuals becomes apparent in how they handle failure and success. A true team shares both the burden of failure and the joy of success, making them more resilient and united.
By fostering a sense of belonging, you create an environment where people are more likely to:
- Take risks and innovate
- Support and uplift each other
- Remain loyal to the organization
- Go above and beyond in their work
- Bounce back from setbacks more quickly
Remember, the power of belonging is what initially motivated Amaechi to pursue his NBA dream when he found acceptance in his local gym as a teenager. By creating this same sense of belonging in your workplace or community, you can inspire others to reach for their dreams and achieve extraordinary things.
Final Thoughts
"The Promises of Giants" by John Amaechi offers a powerful framework for personal growth, leadership, and positive change. By making and keeping these seven promises, you can harness your potential as a giant and create environments where others can thrive as well.
Let's recap the seven promises:
- Know yourself deeply: Commit to ongoing self-reflection and understanding.
- Be vulnerable: Share your dreams and goals, even if it feels risky.
- Monitor your biases vigilantly: Be aware of your biases and choose not to act on them.
- Nurture everyone's potential: Believe in others and show it through your words and actions.
- Be consistently present: Give your full attention to every interaction.
- Drive your workplace culture: Take responsibility for shaping a positive environment.
- Foster belonging to create a true team: Create an inclusive environment where everyone feels valued.
These promises are not one-time commitments but daily practices. They require constant attention, effort, and self-awareness. However, by dedicating yourself to these promises, you can transform not only your own life but also the lives of those around you.
Amaechi's book reminds us that being a giant isn't about physical size or formal authority. It's about recognizing the impact we have on others and using that impact as a force for good. Whether you're a CEO, a team leader, or an individual contributor, you have the power to be a giant in your sphere of influence.
By seeking out your blind spots and biases, paying attention to how you make others feel, and consistently working to create inclusive and supportive environments, you can live the extraordinary life you seek while helping others do the same.
Remember, the journey to becoming a giant is ongoing. It's not about perfection, but about consistent effort and growth. As you implement these promises in your life, be patient with yourself and others. Celebrate small victories and learn from setbacks.
In the end, the true measure of a giant isn't in personal accolades or achievements, but in the positive impact they have on the world around them. By making and keeping these promises, you can become a force for positive change, creating ripples of impact that extend far beyond your immediate reach.
So, are you ready to embrace your potential as a giant? The journey starts with a promise – to yourself and to others – to strive every day to be the best version of yourself and to lift others as you rise. The world needs more giants. Will you answer the call?