Have you ever met someone who seems to radiate joy and fulfillment? Someone who appears to have discovered the secret to living a deeply satisfying life? In his book "The Second Mountain", David Brooks explores what it takes to achieve this kind of profound contentment and sense of purpose.

Brooks draws on conversations with hundreds of people, philosophical and religious teachings, psychological research, and his own life experiences to present a compelling vision of how to live a meaningful life. He uses the metaphor of climbing two mountains to describe the journey many people take:

The first mountain represents the conventional pursuit of individual success - things like building a career, achieving status and wealth, and focusing on personal happiness. But for many, reaching the summit of this mountain proves unfulfilling.

The second mountain is where true joy and purpose are found. It involves moving beyond self-centered ambitions to dedicate oneself to serving others and contributing to the greater good.

Between these two mountains lies a valley of adversity and suffering that often serves as a catalyst for reassessing one's priorities and values.

Through this framework, Brooks makes a compelling case for why our culture's emphasis on individualism and personal success ultimately fails to deliver lasting fulfillment. He argues that the path to a joyful, meaningful life lies in committing ourselves to relationships, vocation, philosophy/faith, and community.

Let's explore the key ideas Brooks presents about climbing these two mountains and finding our way to a life of purpose, connection, and joy.

The First Mountain: The Pursuit of Individual Success

The Landscape of Individualism

To understand the first mountain that many people climb in search of fulfillment, we need to examine the cultural landscape from which it emerges. In Western societies, and particularly in the United States, this landscape is dominated by individualism.

Individualism is a belief system and cultural ethos that places supreme value on personal freedom, self-reliance, and the pursuit of individual interests. It encourages people to chart their own course in life rather than conforming to traditional social norms or expectations.

On the surface, individualism can seem very appealing. It offers the alluring promise of almost unlimited personal freedom and self-determination. Unlike more traditional or collectivist societies, an individualistic culture tells you that you don't have to live according to anyone else's rules or expectations. You're free to think for yourself, follow your own desires, and live life on your own terms.

Want to devote your life to an unconventional passion like extreme sports? Go for it. Dream of becoming a powerful CEO? That's your prerogative. As long as you're not directly harming others, individualism says you should be free to do whatever you want with your life.

This worldview sees people primarily as separate, autonomous individuals rather than as interconnected members of families, communities, and society. It values personal choice and self-expression over social obligations or collective goals.

While this may sound liberating, Brooks argues that when individualism becomes the dominant philosophy of an entire society, it can lead to some serious problems. That's because the more we focus on ourselves as isolated individuals, the less we focus on our connections and commitments to others.

The Downsides of Rampant Individualism

As individualism has become more pronounced in American culture over recent decades, Brooks observes a corresponding fraying of social bonds and civic engagement. He points to some troubling statistics that highlight this trend:

  • Only 8% of Americans report having a meaningful conversation with their neighbors over the course of a year.
  • 35% of Americans over age 45 suffer from chronic loneliness.
  • The fastest growing religious and political affiliations are "unaffiliated," indicating disconnection from traditional communities.

Beyond increasing isolation, this weakening of social fabric has contributed to rising rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide, especially among young people. From 2006 to 2016, suicide rates among Americans aged 10-17 increased by 70%.

As social connections have deteriorated, so has social trust. Since the 1950s:

  • The percentage of Americans who trust their neighbors has fallen from 60% to just 32%.
  • Trust in the US government has plummeted from 75% to less than 25%.
  • Church attendance, a proxy for involvement in religious community, has dropped by nearly 50%.

Without strong connections to neighbors, institutions, and communities that provide a sense of belonging and shared purpose, many Americans feel adrift and ungrounded. It's in this context of social disconnection that people begin climbing the first mountain in search of meaning and direction.

Climbing the First Mountain

For young adults emerging from the structured environment of school into the "real world," the freedom promised by individualism can feel overwhelming. After years of having clear expectations and goals laid out by teachers and parents, many find themselves unsure of what to do next or how to find purpose.

Feeling unmoored in a sea of choices, many gravitate toward the clear metrics of professional achievement as an anchor. The corporate ladder provides a familiar sense of structure - go to work, put in long hours, impress your bosses, earn promotions and raises.

And so begins the climb up the first mountain - the pursuit of conventional success through career advancement, wealth accumulation, and status-seeking. This gives people a sense of purpose and direction, at least for a while.

There's nothing inherently wrong with professional ambition or wanting to be financially secure. The problem arises when the pursuit of these external markers of success becomes all-consuming, crowding out other vital aspects of a fulfilling life.

The Limitations of Material Success

What happens when someone reaches the summit of that first mountain? When they've achieved career success, financial prosperity, and social status?

Brooks argues that all too often, they find themselves unsatisfied and sensing that something is still missing. The happiness and fulfillment they expected to find at the top fails to materialize, at least not in any lasting way.

That's because happiness based on external achievements and acquisitions tends to be fleeting. You get a temporary high from a promotion or buying a fancy car, but soon that fades and you're left wanting the next thing. It becomes an endless cycle of striving for the next goal or purchase, with only brief moments of satisfaction in between.

Moreover, a life oriented primarily around individual success and personal gratification ultimately feels small and self-centered when compared to lives dedicated to serving others or contributing to something greater than oneself. There's a fundamental emptiness to pure self-interest.

Of course, not everyone makes it to the top of that first mountain. Many people find themselves knocked off course by personal setbacks or tragedies - job loss, divorce, illness, death of a loved one. Or they may simply burn out from the relentless climb and choose to walk away.

Either way, they end up tumbling down into what Brooks calls "the valley" - a place of struggle, loss, and suffering that lies between the two mountains. While painful, time spent in this valley can be transformative if approached with the right mindset.

The Valley: Struggle and Transformation

The valley represents a period of adversity, loss, or inner turmoil that disrupts a person's previous way of life and forces them to reevaluate their priorities and sense of purpose. This could stem from external circumstances like losing a job or going through a divorce. Or it might come from an internal crisis - a creeping sense of emptiness and lack of meaning even amidst outward success.

Whatever precipitates it, time in the valley involves confronting difficult emotions like grief, fear, and uncertainty. The stable identity and sense of direction a person had while climbing the first mountain gets shaken up.

While incredibly challenging, this period of struggle and soul-searching is often necessary to spur profound personal growth. It creates an opening for people to reflect deeply on what truly matters to them and what kind of life they want to live going forward.

Some respond to adversity by trying to numb the pain through unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse. But those who are able to lean into the difficulty and allow themselves to be changed by it often emerge with new wisdom and clarity.

Supportive relationships are crucial for making it through the valley in a healthy way. Connecting authentically with friends, family, or a therapist provides comfort and helps people process their experiences. Acts of kindness from others serve as reminders of human goodness amidst pain.

For many, time in the valley leads to a shift in perspective - from self-centered individualism toward a more interconnected view of life. They begin to see how much they need other people and how fulfilling it can be to focus on caring for others rather than just themselves.

This paves the way for the journey up the second mountain - a life reoriented around service, commitment, and contribution to something greater than oneself.

The Second Mountain: A Life of Service and Joy

Moving Beyond the Pursuit of Happiness

Before we dive into what climbing the second mountain entails, it's worth examining why the pursuit of individual happiness - which drives so much of our culture - is ultimately unfulfilling as a central life goal.

Happiness, as most people think of it, is a fleeting emotional state that results from getting what we want or achieving our goals. You ace a test, land a promotion, or buy a new gadget and get a burst of positive feeling. But that feeling inevitably fades, and you're soon in pursuit of the next thing that might make you happy.

Living this way turns life into an endless treadmill of striving for the next hit of satisfaction. You never reach a stable state of contentment because there's always something else to want or achieve.

Moreover, this conception of happiness is fundamentally self-oriented. It's all about you getting your personal needs and desires met. While there's nothing wrong with wanting to feel good, a life built solely around seeking your own pleasure and success is ultimately rather small and unfulfilling.

The Alternative: Joy Through Self-Transcendence

Instead of this limited notion of happiness, Brooks advocates orienting our lives around the pursuit of joy. Unlike happiness, joy is a deeper, more enduring state of well-being and fulfillment. And critically, it comes not from self-gratification, but from self-transcendence.

Joy arises when we forget ourselves and become wholly focused on loving and serving others or contributing to a cause greater than ourselves. It's the delight we feel in deep friendship, the sense of purpose in meaningful work, the wonder of connecting with nature or the divine.

Picture joy as an inexhaustible wellspring of love inside you that you can tap into and let flow outward to nourish others. The more you give of yourself, the more uplifted you feel. It's the paradoxical truth that we find our best selves by losing ourselves in service to others.

A vivid example Brooks offers is the infectious laughter of the Dalai Lama. At a dinner the author attended, he was struck by how the Tibetan spiritual leader would periodically burst into laughter for no apparent reason - he simply couldn't contain the joy bubbling up inside him. And that joy spread to everyone around him.

This is the kind of rich, lasting fulfillment available to those who ascend the second mountain by committing themselves to a life of service and contribution. But make no mistake - the climb isn't easy.

The Work of Serving Others

Living a life dedicated to serving others isn't all kumbaya singalongs and warm fuzzy feelings. It requires real effort, sacrifice, and a willingness to tackle difficult problems.

Whether you're working to address issues like poverty and addiction in your community, maintaining deep and healthy relationships with loved ones, or trying to live out religious ideals of service to God and neighbor, you'll encounter plenty of challenges along the way.

You'll likely find yourself face-to-face with human suffering in ways that can be emotionally draining. The problems you're trying to solve may seem intractable at times. Relationships require ongoing work to nurture and sustain.

So how do you stay motivated to keep climbing this second mountain when the going gets tough? You might think that an abundance of love for humanity would be enough to carry you through. But Brooks argues that love alone, while essential, isn't sufficient.

Love is a feeling, and like all feelings, it fluctuates. Some days you'll feel a wellspring of compassion for those you're serving. Other days you may feel frustrated, burnt out, or simply indifferent. If you rely solely on warm feelings of love to fuel your efforts, you'll likely falter when those feelings inevitably ebb.

The Importance of Commitment

This is where commitment comes in. Commitment provides the structure and staying power to keep showing up and doing the work even when you don't feel like it.

Commitment means making a binding promise - to a person, a community, a cause - and then following through on that promise day after day, regardless of how you happen to be feeling. It's about building lasting habits and practices that sustain your service over the long haul.

Brooks explores how this plays out in several key domains of life:

Marriage and Family

Marriage offers perhaps the most familiar example of how commitment works to sustain love and service to others over time. When you get married, you make a public vow to your partner, promising to stick with them through good times and bad.

This commitment provides a container for love to deepen and mature over time. It gives you a reason to work through conflicts, make sacrifices for each other, and continue showing up even on days when you don't particularly like your spouse.

Commitment in marriage means putting the needs of the relationship above your own individual desires at times. It's cancelling work plans to keep a date night, or setting aside time for intimate conversation even when you're tired.

The same principles apply to other family relationships. Committing to being a present and nurturing parent or a supportive sibling requires ongoing effort and sacrifice. But it's through that sustained commitment that the deepest bonds are forged.

Vocation

Another key arena for living out commitment is through our work or vocation. A vocation is more than just a job you do for a paycheck - it's work you feel called to do because it allows you to contribute your unique gifts in service of others or a cause you believe in.

Pursuing a vocation requires first falling in love with a particular field or type of work. But then you have to commit to it - declaring a major, entering a training program, or otherwise dedicating yourself to mastering that craft or profession.

In doing so, you necessarily close off other options. Choosing to pursue medicine means not becoming a teacher or an artist. But it's only by going deep in one area that you can develop the expertise to make a real impact.

Living out a vocation means putting the needs of your field or the people you serve above your own comfort or advancement at times. George Orwell, for instance, was committed to honest journalism even when it meant criticizing his own political allies.

Religion and Spirituality

For many people, religious faith provides a powerful framework for living a committed life of service. Religions offer rituals, moral guidelines, and a sense of ultimate purpose that can sustain dedicated action over a lifetime.

Judaism, for instance, prescribes 613 commandments covering everything from dietary restrictions to caring for the poor. Following these creates a daily structure of practices that continually reconnect adherents to their values and community.

Christianity emphasizes selfless love and service in emulation of Jesus. Many Christians find that regular prayer, worship, and participation in sacraments helps renew their commitment to living out these ideals.

Even for the non-religious, some form of regular contemplative practice - be it meditation, time in nature, or philosophical study - can help ground people in their deeper values and commitments.

Community Building

A final key area Brooks highlights for living out commitment is through the work of building and sustaining community. This has become especially vital as traditional forms of community have eroded in many parts of the world.

Community building can take many forms - organizing neighborhood events, creating support groups, launching civic improvement projects, or revitalizing local institutions like libraries and parks.

The author calls people who dedicate themselves to this work "weavers" because they weave the social fabric that holds communities together. It requires a long-term commitment to a particular place and group of people.

Asiaha Butler provides an inspiring example. Growing up in a rough Chicago neighborhood, she eventually founded an organization called RAGE (Resident Association of Greater Englewood) to bring neighbors together and create positive change. Through job fairs, community shopping events, and other initiatives, she has helped revitalize her community.

This kind of community weaving often happens at the neighborhood level - a scale where individuals can have a meaningful impact without getting overwhelmed. There are endless possibilities for strengthening local communities if people are willing to commit their time and energy.

Embracing a Life of Commitment

So how can we put these ideas into practice and orient our own lives more fully around service and commitment to others? Brooks offers several suggestions:

  1. Identify your core values and what you feel called to commit to. This could be a particular cause, community, vocation, or set of relationships. What pulls at your heart?

  2. Make your commitment explicit through some form of vow or public declaration. This could be a wedding vow, a professional oath, or simply sharing your intentions with friends and family.

  3. Develop regular practices and rituals that reinforce your commitment. This might include volunteer work, family dinners, religious observances, or other consistent actions that align with your values.

  4. Surround yourself with a community that shares and supports your commitments. We're deeply influenced by the people around us, so find others on a similar path.

  5. Be willing to make sacrifices. Living a committed life means sometimes putting the needs of others or your larger purpose ahead of your own desires or comfort.

  6. When you struggle or falter, return to the "why" behind your commitment. Reconnect with the deeper meaning and purpose that inspired you in the first place.

  7. Celebrate joyful moments of connection and contribution along the way. A committed life isn't all duty and sacrifice - it should also be rich with experiences of love, purpose, and transcendent joy.

  8. Stay open to growth and evolution in how you live out your commitments over time. Your path may shift, but the underlying dedication to service can remain.

Conclusion: The Fruits of a Committed Life

By reorienting our lives around service and commitment to others, Brooks argues that we open ourselves to a deeper, more lasting form of fulfillment than chasing individual success and happiness can provide.

Yes, climbing the second mountain requires effort and sacrifice. But it also brings rich rewards:

  • A sense of meaning and purpose that transcends our own little egos
  • Deep, authentic relationships and a feeling of genuine community
  • The joy of losing ourselves in service to something greater
  • Wisdom gained through wrestling with life's big questions
  • A legacy of positive impact on others and the world around us

Ultimately, Brooks paints a picture of human flourishing that goes beyond mere personal contentment to a kind of spiritual richness - lives overflowing with love, purpose, and transcendent joy.

This vision serves as both an inspiration and a challenge. It asks us to examine our priorities, to consider what we're really living for. Are we content to remain on the first mountain of individual striving? Or are we willing to traverse the valley of vulnerability and struggle in order to ascend to a higher, more meaningful way of being?

The choice is ours. But for those willing to make the climb, the view from the second mountain offers a glimpse of what a truly good life can be.

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