Tribe of Mentors

Self-improvement isn't a single path but a journey filled with risks, lessons, and the wisdom of those who have walked before us. What can the world’s most successful individuals teach us about navigating this road?

1. Books Are Lifelines for Personal Growth

Books offer a wellspring of ideas that help shape perspectives, solve challenges, and open new horizons. Many of the world's top performers cite specific books as transformative influences on their thinking and success. Reading isn't just a pastime – it’s fuel for self-development.

The journalist Matt Ridley treasures The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins because it redefined how humanity understands evolutionary biology, providing scientific and writing inspiration. Similarly, actor Terry Crews and comedian Jimmy Fallon both draw wisdom from Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning, which helps them align their actions with life’s deeper purposes.

Books seeking to guide behavior are also favored. Dr. Brené Brown found Why Won’t You Apologize? by Harriet Lerner eye-opening in rethinking apologies, while Kevin Kelly of Wired magazine gained self-reliance insights from Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead. Leaders find lessons even in childhood tales, as TED curator Chris Anderson did when The Chronicles of Narnia sparked his imagination.

Examples

• Matt Ridley used The Selfish Gene to enhance his approach to science writing.
• Jimmy Fallon credits Man’s Search for Meaning with making him more empathetic.
• Chris Anderson developed a vivid sense of storytelling from The Chronicles of Narnia.

2. Failures Shape, Strengthen, and Free You

Rather than viewing failure as debilitating, forward-thinkers see it as a stepping stone for growth. Their missteps become the canvas for self-awareness and creativity, fostering resilience and unlocking paths they hadn’t yet envisioned.

Grammy-winning producer Rick Rubin embraced a lesson from flopped records: you cannot predict success, but you can stay committed to quality. Screenwriter Steven Pressfield turned rejection into reinvention when he left New York for Hollywood, flourishing professionally by improving his craft. Similarly, Leo Babauta overcame personal struggles by creating Zen Habits, helping millions lead healthier lives.

Failure can also remove limitations. Look at the Beastie Boys, who, after their sophomore album disappointed, had the freedom to focus on experimenting, culminating in their hit record Check Your Head. It's a testament to how failure can cultivate fearlessness.

Examples

• Rick Rubin highlights the unpredictable nature of creative success and failure.
• Steven Pressfield leveraged failure to pivot toward screenwriting breakthroughs.
• The Beastie Boys used disappointment as a springboard to artistic exploration.

3. Investments Go Beyond Money to Include Self and Others

The most impactful investments are often not financial but personal, focusing on skills, relationships, and health. Investing in growth, learning, or generosity creates returns beyond material gains.

Kevin Kelly built his career through a small $200 ad investment in Rolling Stone magazine, which launched his first venture. Meanwhile, therapist Esther Perel invested in learning nine languages, enabling her to foster cultural and global connections. CEO Jason Fried highlights the emotional rewards of selfless giving, like paying a friend’s rent during a challenging time.

Self-care investments are equally vital. Arianna Huffington transformed her work and relationships by prioritizing personal well-being. Mentors frequently tout meditation as another powerful form of self-investment, with notables like Yuval Noah Harari and Ray Dalio enjoying its focus-sharpening and stress-relieving benefits.

Examples

• Kevin Kelly started his publishing career with just a $200 investment.
• Esther Perel invested in linguistics to deepen global understanding.
• Arianna Huffington prioritized recovery after burnout to regain balance.

4. Communities and Priorities Foster Self-Improvement

Improvement thrives in supportive environments and thoughtful prioritization. Many top performers also change their perspective to turn challenges into opportunities.

Gym-based friendships helped Rick Rubin and Neil Strauss look forward to working out. Rubin lost over 100 pounds, attributing much of his success to his supportive gym circle. Prioritizing sleep and balance has led figures like Dr. Brené Brown and Jason Fried to long-term improvements in physical and mental health.

Meanwhile, changing one’s mindset can drive meaningful growth. From Bear Grylls seizing the present rather than fearing tomorrow to Professor Janna Levin seeing obstacles as life’s opportunities, mentors demonstrate that reframing situations unlocks success and well-being.

Examples

• Rubin’s weight loss tied to creating a gym community around himself.
• Brené Brown emphasizes sleep’s role in personal and professional improvement.
• Bear Grylls embraces the moment by shedding fears of the unknown.

5. Success Requires Saying “No” to Excess

Saying no sharpens focus and protects energy. Mentors recognize this as a key skill, especially amid chaotic schedules or growing responsibilities. Prioritizing oneself allows clearer thought and progress.

Walking amidst nature, known as "forest bathing,” is how Aniela Gregorek re-centers amidst demanding work. Others turn to mini-resets: Bozoma Saint John swears by naps, while Ashton Kutcher recommends building intimate connections. But conserving energy goes further – Neil Strauss curbs guilt-based decisions, declining commitments that don’t align with his objectives.

Gary Vaynerchuk reminds us to occasionally say yes for unexpected growth. While protecting time is imperative, 20 percent of his yeses lead to unforeseen opportunities.

Examples

• Aniela Gregorek uses forest walks as mental resets during times of overload.
• Neil Strauss practices saying no to guilt-driven work commitments.
• Gary Vaynerchuk leaves room for serendipitous opportunities by saying yes occasionally.

6. Future-Proof Yourself by Staying Present

Mentors emphasize working passionately in the present rather than worrying about distant outcomes. By focusing on daily actions, progress builds over time.

Gary Vaynerchuk criticizes wasting time on distractions, instead urging young professionals to perfect how they use each day. Blogger Leo Babauta sees uncertainty as fuel, not fear, for productivity. Likewise, Veronica Belmont and Tony Hawk advocate nurturing passion projects to show authenticity and dedication to future employers.

Even those unsure of their passion can stay adaptable. For example, Yuval Noah Harari advises future-proofing ourselves by building emotional intelligence and resilience to handle life’s unpredictability.

Examples

• Tony Hawk credits passion-driven careers for long-lasting fulfillment.
• Leo Babauta channels uncertainty into motivation for his blog’s success.
• Yuval Noah Harari stresses emotional resilience over narrow goals.

7. Avoid Trends, Focus on What’s Authentic

Bad advice often stems from following trends over substance. Trusted mentors recommend staying grounded in skills, perspective, and teamwork rather than gimmicks.

Weightlifting legend Ed Coan suggests sticking to fundamentals instead of chasing fads. Steven Pressfield critiques how social media loves hype but offers short-lived satisfaction. Focus on honing your craft instead. In science and business, sharing and breaking conventional rules – like Ray Dalio and Uber innovators have – often leads to original progress.

Examples

• Ed Coan emphasizes steady, tried-and-tested weightlifting techniques.
• Steven Pressfield warns against distraction by social media's superficial rewards.
• Ray Dalio advises against investments driven only by copying others.

8. Generosity and Collaboration Open New Doors

Mentors reveal how giving back enriches life beyond career goals. Helping others creates greater meaning, even in small ways.

Salesforce CEO Marc Benioff encourages making impacts at local schools through mentorship or guidance about career paths. For Sam Harris, fostering reasonable dialogue rather than conflict drives humanity forward. Whether in teamwork, sharing research, or volunteering, collaboration increasingly shapes successful endeavors.

Examples

• Marc Benioff prioritizes education volunteering at underserved schools.
• Sam Harris advocates for understanding through conversations versus violence.
• Scientists like Lewis Cantley find value in open sharing over personal acclaim.

9. Self-Worth Is the Foundation of All Success

The mentors’ final advice centers on being at peace with yourself. Believing in your unique journey is essential to thriving in work and life.

Maria Sharapova champions staying true to yourself despite criticism, while Leo Babauta reminds us all that we’re already “good enough.” Success isn’t about copying someone else’s path but defining your own terms and showing kindness toward others.

Examples

• Maria Sharapova embraces individuality as her north star.
• Leo Babauta inspires self-acceptance in overcoming personal hurdles.
• Sam Harris reiterates open-mindedness helps us connect deeper with others.

Takeaways

1. Set clear boundaries to protect your energy and time. Limit social media use and say no when commitments feel forced or unaligned.
2. Invest in books, hobbies, or self-care habits that nurture growth, challenge your beliefs, or relax your mind. These create balance and drive.
3. Align your daily actions with your larger goals. By being mindful of how you spend your time and energy, success is a byproduct.