What It Takes to Heal Summary

What does it take to heal in a world filled with trauma, fear, and division? Vision, love, and the courage to act.

1. The Power of Vision

Healing begins in the mind with an act of imagination. Prentis Hemphill shares an early experience from fourth grade when they dressed as Harriet Tubman for a history presentation in a classroom filled with skepticism. Speaking boldly, "I freed people under your noses," they found strength in shedding the shame others projected onto them. This moment revealed that envisioning a different future can help break free from limitations.

Vision allows us to see beyond our immediate circumstances, dreaming of possibilities yet to be realized. Harriet Tubman’s unwavering pursuit of freedom, guided by dreams and commitment, reminds us how a clear vision can break through seemingly unchangeable realities. Without vision, we remain confined by others' expectations and reduced by a scarcity mindset.

Longing plays a central role here. Hemphill’s personal exploration revealed a yearning "to love and be loved," as prompted by their somatic therapist. Articulating this desire brought it closer to reality, proving that naming our longings helps steer us toward meaningful change.

Examples

• Harriet Tubman's dreams guiding her escape and others'.
• Hemphill's childhood experience of confronting limiting societal projections.
• Patients learning to name and commit to their personal visions in therapy.

2. Addressing Trauma

Trauma lives in our bodies and shapes how we see and interact with the world. Hemphill recounts the story of a grieving mother whose activism masked the deep pain of losing her son to police brutality. It wasn’t until she allowed space for her grief that she began to truly heal.

Trauma isn't just personal – it becomes embedded within activist spaces and social movements, creating barriers to progress. For instance, unhealed pain in leaders can erupt unexpectedly, as reflected in a moment when a respected leader’s outburst derailed a group’s hard work. Trauma stifles growth when left unaddressed.

Healing trauma requires safe spaces and collective practices. These might include community-led grieving spaces or trauma-informed organizational strategies. Hemphill emphasizes how addressing trauma on both personal and societal levels fosters resilience and movement sustainability.

Examples

• A grieving mother opening up after masking pain with productivity.
• An activist leader’s outburst stemming from unresolved childhood trauma.
• Organizations like the Chicago Torture Justice Center integrating therapy and system reform.

3. Connecting Healing to Embodiment

True emotional release requires us to connect with our bodies. Hemphill hadn't shed tears for years until a transformative moment in therapy led them to create intentional crying rituals. By setting time aside to listen to sad songs in a private space, they released years of held-back pain.

Embodiment is understanding the patterns we automatically act out physically and emotionally. Often, these patterns form through repetition, such as avoiding emotions to protect ourselves. By growing aware of these habits, we can begin to make more intentional choices and shift behaviors.

For instance, noticing a tight chest during moments of stress can signal deeper feelings and offer an invitation to respond with care rather than reaction. Developing this awareness allows us to live in alignment with our true selves rather than operating on autopilot.

Examples

• Hemphill’s deliberate crying sessions after decades of suppression.
• Recognizing and addressing automatic habits like people-pleasing.
• Using physical sensations as cues to explore and release emotions.

4. Actively Engaging with Change

Healing does not end with the self. Hemphill uses their gardening experience to illustrate this principle: cultivation starts with a dream but needs patience and action. Healing must extend to changing harmful systems that perpetuate trauma.

The Chicago Torture Justice Center embodies this philosophy, balancing healing for survivors of police brutality with efforts to dismantle the conditions that led to harm. By addressing both personal and systemic challenges, progress becomes sustainable.

Hemphill describes how one grieving mother improved her mental and physical health through the center's services, regaining sleep and finding connection within a supportive community. Personal transformation and systemic change go hand in hand.

Examples

• Starting daily work in a garden to explore care in action.
• CTJC creating both personal therapy programs and system-focused advocacy.
• Survivors building community and healing through group activities like the Freedom Songbook.

5. The Will to Belong

As a middle child navigating family expectations and confronting rejection in religious spaces condemning homosexuality, Hemphill learned how the pain of exclusion leads us to search for meaningful bonds. Finding belonging often requires creating intentional, chosen communities.

Sharing meals with chosen family every Sunday night became a grounding ritual for Hemphill. These relationships offered love and support during challenging times. Expanding who we consider family can help meet our innate need for connection.

Moreover, belonging doesn’t mean unconditional agreement. Real kinship involves embracing differences and investing in helping each other grow. A willingness to form "oddkin" connections strengthens us against the pressures of isolation.

Examples

• Sunday dinners with chosen family as a safe emotional space.
• Expanding definitions of family and community to include nontraditional bonds.
• Facing the pain of rejection to build more intentional relationships.

6. Building Empathy Through Kinship

Empathy is an essential practice for creating genuine connections. Hemphill frames empathy as not simply understanding, but letting another’s experience resonate within you deeply. This connects us in ways that verbal assurances alone cannot.

True empathy supports stronger allyship. Rather than performative solidarity, it requires shared action rooted in mutual understanding. For instance, showing up for injustice not because it happens to someone else but recognizing it affects all of us.

This depth of connection fosters long-lasting and effective collaborations for justice. Transforming community networks using empathy changes how we stand alongside one another during hardships and triumphs.

Examples

• Allowing someone’s grief to touch you rather than rushing to fix it.
• Demonstrating allyship by risking comfort or privilege for what’s right.
• Feeling shared humanity during moments of solidarity.

7. Courage to Act

Fear often stops us from pursuing what matters most. Hemphill describes being frozen on a narrow ledge during a hike, only moving forward when encouraged to “become bigger than the fear.” Courage doesn’t erase fear but creates space to act despite it.

Healing requires everyday courage – from starting therapy to speaking one’s truth during challenging conversations. Acting based on values rather than fear transforms how we move through life.

This kind of courage allows people to overcome the walls erected by political division or personal struggles. By refusing isolation, individuals can take steps to reconnect across fears.

Examples

• Facing personal fears during a strenuous hike despite feeling frozen.
• Choosing therapy despite stigma or lack of familiarity.
• Openly addressing personal beliefs during family or community disagreements.

8. Practicing Love as a Verb

Love is more than a feeling; it’s a practice. Hemphill sees love as showing up for oneself and others in small, consistent, and meaningful ways. This involves vulnerable honesty and recognizing shared humanity.

For example, love's power shines in movements demanding justice, bolstering individuals and creating safer spaces. Showing care even toward strangers can plant seeds of collective trust and enable growth.

By wielding love with intention, barriers between individuals and groups dissolve, making room for transformative relationships. Love becomes an agent for both cultural and personal changes.

Examples

• Participating in justice movements with a focus on care and affirmation.
• Daily acts of kindness that expand collective goodwill.
• Listening deeply to others’ experiences without rushing to resolve or judge.

9. Transforming Fear with Intentionality

Fear often drives division, particularly in polarized settings. Hemphill illustrates how fear builds walls that isolate people and hinder meaningful connections. Addressing it critically begins by sitting with it.

This kind of fear takes courage to face. Fear-based reactions can transform when individuals consciously pause and reflect on what truly matters. Consistently meeting fear creates new opportunities for connection.

Overcoming fear shifts not only individuals but entire communities. Transforming fear into purpose enables groups to organize, heal, and resist fragmentation.

Examples

• Political dialogue where participants listen without overreacting to fear-based assumptions.
• Personal moments where anxiety is met with mindful breathing.
• Aligning actions with core values despite risk or discomfort.

Takeaways

1. Take time to articulate your personal longings and visualize the future you want to create for yourself and others.
2. Build kinship networks by fostering deep empathy, trust, and chosen family relationships that offer support and belonging.
3. Face fear with courage, reframing it as an opportunity for growth rather than a barrier.