Introduction
Michal Oshman's book "What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?" is a powerful exploration of how ancient Jewish wisdom can be applied to modern life to overcome fear, anxiety, and depression. Oshman, who has struggled with these issues herself, shares her personal journey of discovering the transformative power of Jewish teachings and how they helped her find meaning, purpose, and inner peace.
The book's title comes from a question Oshman encountered on the wall of Facebook's London office, where she worked. This question resonated deeply with her, as fear had been a constant companion throughout her life. Through her exploration of Jewish concepts and principles, Oshman found surprising insights that helped her better understand her anxieties and ultimately find a path to a more fulfilling life.
The Power of Jewish Wisdom
Oshman's journey began when she realized that traditional therapy, which often focused on childhood experiences, wasn't providing the answers she needed. Instead, she found solace and guidance in Jewish wisdom, which offered practical and helpful teachings that could be applied to daily life.
One of the first influential works Oshman encountered was Viktor E. Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning." Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, developed a form of psychotherapy called logotherapy, which focuses on finding meaning in life. This concept of meaning became a crucial element in Oshman's journey towards healing and self-discovery.
Inspired by Frankl's work and a chance encounter with a successful Jewish executive who balanced career, family, and religious observance, Oshman began to explore her Jewish roots more deeply. She started taking classes in spiritual texts, which marked the beginning of a transformative journey.
Finding Your Flame and Purpose
One of the fundamental concepts Oshman discovered in Jewish wisdom is the idea of neshama, or soul. The Torah describes neshama as the life force that God breathed into humans. This concept teaches that within each person, there's a unique flame burning with the desire to fulfill one's potential. However, material distractions, called kelipa, can obscure this flame and lead us away from our true purpose.
To reconnect with our neshama and find our purpose, Jewish wisdom teaches the practice of bittul, which roughly translates to self-nullification. Bittul involves letting go of ego and refocusing on community. It reminds us that instead of constantly thinking about ourselves, we should consider how we can help others.
Oshman suggests a self-assessment exercise to practice bittul:
- Reflect on what gives your life the most meaning.
- Identify activities you excel at.
- Recognize unhelpful thoughts, fears, or behaviors.
While these questions may be challenging to answer, the process of reflection can be truly transformative.
Embracing Mistakes and Brokenness
Another valuable lesson Oshman learned from Jewish wisdom is the importance of embracing mistakes and brokenness as paths to growth. She draws parallels between this concept and Facebook's workplace motto, "Fail harder," which encourages innovation by removing the fear of failure.
The Jewish concept of shvira, or brokenness, teaches that being broken is not only an unavoidable part of life but also an essential component of personal growth. As Rabbi Menachem Mendel Morgenstern said, "There is nothing more complete than a broken heart." This wisdom helped Oshman understand that maturity, wisdom, and strength often emerge through the cracks when we experience brokenness.
Leadership and the Concept of Tzimtzum
Oshman applies Jewish wisdom to leadership, drawing on the mystical concept of tzimtzum, which means contraction or concealment. This idea comes from the belief that God contracted His own presence to make room for creation. In leadership, tzimtzum teaches the importance of stepping back and giving others space to grow and flourish.
Effective leadership, according to this principle, involves:
- Making room for others to express themselves and showcase their best work.
- Holding back judgments and ego.
- Providing constructive feedback in a positive manner.
Oshman introduces the "one percent feedback tool," based on the idea that everyone is generally 99 percent on point. This approach focuses on small, manageable improvements and helps create a positive feedback culture both at work and at home.
The Mensch Approach to Leadership
The ultimate goal in leadership, according to Jewish wisdom, is to become a mensch – a person of integrity and honor who acts on behalf of others. A mensch leader focuses on helping others flourish rather than seeking personal glory or spotlight.
This approach to leadership extends beyond the workplace and can be applied to various aspects of life, including parenting and community involvement. It emphasizes the importance of contributing something meaningful to the world and pursuing causes with bravery and honesty.
Parenting with Jewish Wisdom
Oshman applies the principles of Jewish wisdom to parenting, emphasizing the importance of instilling values rather than asserting control. She draws on the advice of King Solomon, who said, "Teach a child according to his way; even when he grows old, he will not turn away from it."
The Hebrew word for education, chinuch, focuses on imparting values. Oshman encourages parents to prioritize raising children who become mensches – decent, community-minded individuals – regardless of their chosen profession. She suggests encouraging volunteer work as a way to instill these values, referring to it as "Vitamin V" for her children.
Key parenting principles derived from Jewish wisdom include:
- Offering care, support, and love rather than striving for perfection.
- Guiding children to discover their own path rather than forcing them down a particular route.
- Facilitating self-discovery and helping children figure out what's meaningful to them.
The Concept of Teshuva
An overarching concept in Jewish wisdom that Oshman finds particularly valuable is teshuva, which means repentance or return. This principle is central to Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement in Judaism, when people reflect on their lives and consider how they can improve themselves and their relationships.
Teshuva is not viewed negatively but rather as a regular part of life, full of forgiveness and free from judgment. It encourages continuous self-improvement and a return to one's essence – the flame that provides meaning and purpose.
Applying Jewish Wisdom to Modern Life
Throughout the book, Oshman demonstrates how these ancient Jewish concepts can be applied to various aspects of modern life:
Overcoming anxiety and depression: By focusing on finding meaning and purpose, rather than dwelling on past experiences.
Professional development: Embracing failure as a learning opportunity and practicing tzimtzum in leadership roles.
Personal growth: Using the concept of shvira to view challenges and setbacks as opportunities for growth and self-improvement.
Relationships: Applying the principles of bittul to focus on others and build stronger connections.
Parenting: Utilizing chinuch to raise children with strong values and a sense of purpose.
Self-reflection: Regularly practicing teshuva to continually improve oneself and relationships with others.
The Transformative Power of Meaning
The central theme running through Oshman's book is the transformative power of finding meaning in life. This idea, inspired by Viktor Frankl's work, is reinforced by various Jewish concepts and teachings. Oshman's personal experience demonstrates how embracing these principles can lead to significant positive changes in one's life.
By reconnecting with her Jewish roots and applying these ancient wisdoms to her modern life, Oshman was able to overcome her struggles with anxiety and depression. She learned to focus on what truly matters, moving beyond the ego-driven distractions of the material world to find purpose in helping others and contributing to her community.
Practical Advice for Readers
Oshman offers actionable advice for readers looking to apply these principles in their own lives:
Replace fear with action: Reflect on past experiences where you took a leap of faith. Consider what you learned from these experiences, even if they didn't work out as planned. Remember that moving forward often requires stepping into the unknown, and each experience contributes to personal growth.
Practice self-reflection: Regularly ask yourself questions about what gives your life meaning, what activities you excel at, and what thoughts or behaviors might be holding you back.
Embrace failure: View mistakes and setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than reasons for fear or anxiety.
Apply tzimtzum in leadership roles: Practice stepping back and giving others space to grow and express themselves.
Use the one percent feedback tool: Focus on small, manageable improvements when providing feedback to others or assessing your own progress.
Encourage "Vitamin V" in children: Promote volunteer work and community involvement to instill important values.
Regularly practice teshuva: Set aside time for self-reflection and consider how you can improve yourself and your relationships.
Conclusion
"What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?" offers a unique perspective on how ancient wisdom can be applied to modern life challenges. Michal Oshman's personal journey from anxiety and depression to finding meaning and purpose through Jewish teachings serves as an inspiring example of the transformative power of these principles.
The book demonstrates that regardless of one's religious background, there is much to be gained from exploring these time-honored concepts. By focusing on finding meaning, embracing failure as a path to growth, practicing selfless leadership, and continuously striving for self-improvement, readers can find new ways to overcome their fears and live more fulfilling lives.
Oshman's work serves as a reminder that the wisdom of the past can offer valuable insights for navigating the complexities of modern life. By integrating these teachings into our daily routines, we can cultivate a greater sense of purpose, improve our relationships, and contribute more meaningfully to our communities.
Ultimately, "What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?" encourages readers to look beyond their fears and anxieties, reconnect with their inner purpose, and take bold steps towards living a life aligned with their values and aspirations. It's a call to action for anyone seeking to overcome their limitations and unlock their full potential in both their personal and professional lives.