American Savage Summary

"What if the Bible's condemnation of homosexuality is no more valid than its endorsement of slavery?" This is the bold question Dan Savage tackles as he explores intolerance, human sexuality, and the power of truth.

1. Using the Bible to Condemn Homosexuality is Inconsistent

The Bible has often been used as a weapon against gay rights, with certain passages being emphasized while others are ignored. Dan Savage highlights this selective morality, calling attention to contradictions. For instance, while some Christians fixate on the Old Testament’s condemnation of homosexuality, they dismiss its approval of practices like slavery or the stoning of women who lose their virginity before marriage.

Savage argues that these contradictions expose a deeper hypocrisy. If Christians can adapt other Biblical teachings to fit today’s moral standards, such as rejecting slavery, they can also discard outdated beliefs about human sexuality. The underlying problem is not the scripture but rather how it’s selectively applied.

Instead of clinging to outdated texts, Savage champions a more progressive approach where modern values like equality and compassion guide interpretations. This shift could pave the way for a more inclusive society that respects all individuals.

Examples

• The Old Testament condemns homosexuality yet also endorses slavery and violence.
• Many Christians justify discrimination while ignoring outdated Biblical stances on other issues.
• Modern adaptations, like rejecting Biblical slavery, show selective interpretations aren't immutable.

2. Extramarital Sex Can Sometimes Heal Relationships

Though taboo, Savage believes extramarital affairs can preserve some marriages. He argues that in long-term relationships, sexual needs often ebb and flow, sometimes leaving one partner unsatisfied. In rare cases, the solution may lie in consensually seeking intimacy elsewhere.

Savage recounts letters from readers whose marriages faced stagnation due to mismatched libidos or chronic illness. For example, one man, driven by his wife’s permanent lack of sexual interest, found fulfillment discreetly while preserving their bond. These practical yet controversial solutions aim to balance honesty with compassion for both partners.

Central to his philosophy is the idea of being a “good, giving, and game” (GGG) partner. This means being unselfish and open to understanding your partner’s desires, even when they deviate from your own expectations, creating space for trust and intimacy.

Examples

• A husband saved his marriage by seeking sex elsewhere while continuing to deeply love his wife.
• Partners who align on GGG principles report higher relationship satisfaction and intimacy.
• Understanding individual desires sustains passion and connection over time.

3. US Schools and the Church Fail at Sex Education

Sex ed in the US is either too abstinence-focused or riddled with shame, often leaving students with fear and misinformation. Savage criticizes this approach for resulting in higher teen pregnancy and STD rates in states with abstinence-only programs. Schools fail many young people by ignoring discussions of sexual pleasure or safe sexual practices.

Likewise, he critiques Catholic teachings that depict sex as solely for reproduction, dismissing its role in emotional bonds. This stance alienates people who engage in natural, non-reproductive acts of intimacy yet still want to align with their faith.

These failures harm individuals and communities, particularly in states like Mississippi, where such policies correlate with higher rates of teen births and STDs. Savage advocates for honest, inclusive education that embraces sex as a natural part of life.

Examples

• Mississippi, an abstinence-only state, leads in teen births and STD cases.
• Catholic teaching ignores that sex is valuable for emotional intimacy, not just reproduction.
• Education focusing solely on risks skips essential discussions on consent and pleasure.

4. Arguments Against Same-Sex Marriage Lack Logic

The denial of marriage equality often rests on the natural law argument, which claims marriage is meant to unite men and women for reproduction. Savage systematically dismantles this by pointing out inconsistencies. Non-reproductive couples, such as the infertile or those who choose not to have children, still marry without controversy.

Dan Savage’s debate with antigay advocate Brian Brown further exposed flaws in opposition logic. For instance, Brown argued that while divorce is morally wrong, it doesn’t mean it should be illegal. Yet, he couldn’t explain why this same understanding wouldn’t apply to gay marriage.

Savage also defends same-sex parenting, highlighting studies that prove children of same-sex parents thrive just as much as those with heterosexual parents. This counters conservative claims that children need a mother and father for a “healthy upbringing.”

Examples

• Non-reproductive heterosexual couples still have marriage rights.
• Studies show same-sex parents are equally capable as heterosexual ones.
• Opponents of gay marriage apply inconsistent logic compared to other marital norms.

5. Pride Events and Kink Fairs Promote Freedom and Safety

Critics often dismiss pride parades or BDSM fairs as spectacles of immorality. Savage sees them as celebrations of liberation and understanding, fostering both community and safety. For instance, BDSM events help practitioners exchange safety tips, reducing risks from dangerous activities.

He draws comparisons with Reverend Gary Aldridge, who died from practicing autoerotic asphyxiation unsafely and in isolation. Events like these destigmatize such practices, potentially saving lives by promoting education.

Moreover, straight people have embraced similar liberation through events like Halloween, which reveal a universal desire for self-expression and exploration. Savage underscores that pride is not merely about sexual orientation; it’s about embracing individuality without shame.

Examples

• Pride parades create safe environments and celebrate freedom.
• BDSM events educate participants on harm reduction and safer practices.
• Halloween reflects a growing acceptance of liberated sexual expression among straight people.

6. Being Gay is Not a Choice, but Staying Closeted Is

The argument that homosexuality is a choice is central to bigotry. Savage argues that this claim overlooks the reality that orientation is hardwired, not consciously decided. To illustrate absurdity, Savage challenges anti-gay activists to “choose” to act gay for a day.

On the other hand, staying closeted is a decision some people still make despite today’s progress. Savage highlights conservative politicians like Jim West, whose double lives often resulted in bigoted policies that hurt the very community they secretly belonged to.

These stories reveal the harm of societal expectations that force individuals to hide their true selves, often leading to public hypocrisy and personal despair.

Examples

• Savage challenges choicers like John Cummins to "choose" to act gay.
• Closeted gay politicians like Jim West oppose LGBTQ rights yet seek same-sex relationships privately.
• Being closeted has cultivated cycles of shame and hypocrisy in public discourse.

7. The LGBTQ Movement Fights Back Against Bullying and Bigotry

Bigotry no longer goes unanswered, thanks to initiatives like the It Gets Better project. Savage recounts the story of Billy Lewis, a bullied teen who ended his life, as a stark reminder of how intolerance destroys lives.

Inspired by such tragedies, Savage and others have created platforms to send hopeful messages to LGBTQ youth. The movement has evolved from survival to empowerment, refusing to tolerate second-class status or bullying.

The story of how Savage redefined the term "santorum" to undercut Rick Santorum’s hateful rhetoric showcases the creativity and determination that fuel LGBTQ advocacy today.

Examples

• Billy Lewis’s suicide spurred the creation of the It Gets Better project.
• The term “santorum” became a humorous yet powerful protest against bigotry.
• Millennials raised during this activism have shifted societal perspectives on LGBTQ acceptance.

8. Healthcare Inequality Reflects Broken Religious Priorities

Savage critiques religious conservatives who oppose basic healthcare reforms like Obamacare, arguing that this contradicts Christian teachings of caring for the sick. States that reject healthcare reforms often have the worst outcomes for the poor and uninsured.

Obamacare, though flawed, began improving access to care, saving countless lives from preventable diseases. Still, religious rhetoric continues to vilify it as socialism without addressing its roots in conservative policy thinking.

Savage highlights how resistance to healthcare progress mirrors broader issues of using religion to deny equality. From gay rights to healthcare, using belief systems as shields for inequality harms those most in need of support.

Examples

• The ACA reduced uninsured rates but was falsely labeled socialist by conservatives.
• Religious opposition to Obamacare ignores Christian teachings on caring for the sick.
• Low-income regions disproportionately suffer from inadequate healthcare coverage.

9. US Gun Laws Need Immediate Reform to Save Lives

The United States leads the world in civilian gun ownership and gun violence. Savage describes the absence of meaningful gun control as enabling a culture where violence flourishes unchecked. Efforts to reform laws are frequently blocked by groups like the NRA, citing “freedom” over public safety.

The comparison to other nations is striking: the US homicide rate towers over countries with stricter laws, such as Germany or the UK. Savage urges Americans to demand debate rather than delay following each gun-related tragedy.

Advocating stricter background checks and limits on firearm access doesn’t infringe on responsible ownership—it saves lives. His call is simple: action must replace endless tragedy.

Examples

• The US has six times the homicide rate of Germany due to lenient gun policies.
• Concealed weapons are legally carried into schools and malls in many states.
• The NRA silences gun control debates by accusing reformists of exploiting tragedies.

Takeaways

1. Openly discuss sexual preferences with your partner early to avoid future issues in the relationship.
2. Support inclusive education policies that promote safe sex practices and represent diverse sexual orientations.
3. Advocate for meaningful laws addressing gun control and healthcare reform in your community.