Introduction
Dan Savage, a renowned gay rights activist, sex columnist, and podcast host, has been a prominent voice in challenging societal norms and advocating for a more tolerant United States. In his book "American Savage," Savage takes readers on a thought-provoking journey through various aspects of sexuality, relationships, and social issues that continue to divide the nation.
Drawing from his extensive experience as a sex advice columnist and his personal life as a gay man, Savage offers candid insights and often controversial perspectives on topics ranging from religion and politics to sex education and gun control. His goal is to inspire readers to question long-held beliefs, challenge discrimination, and work towards a more inclusive society.
The Hypocrisy of Using the Bible to Condemn Homosexuality
One of the central themes in "American Savage" is the criticism of those who use religious texts, particularly the Bible, to justify their opposition to homosexuality and LGBT rights. Savage, who was raised Catholic, points out the inherent hypocrisy in this approach.
Many antigay Christians cite passages from the Old Testament to condemn homosexuality, often quoting verses that call for severe punishment for same-sex relations. However, Savage argues that these same individuals conveniently ignore other parts of the Old Testament that advocate for practices that are now considered unethical or outdated, such as slavery or the stoning of women who engage in premarital sex.
This selective interpretation of religious texts, according to Savage, reveals a fundamental flaw in using the Bible as a basis for modern moral judgments. He challenges readers to consider whether it's more appropriate to acknowledge the inconsistency in adhering to some parts of the Bible while disregarding others, or to accept that ancient texts may not be suitable for guiding complex issues of human sexuality in contemporary society.
Savage's argument extends beyond personal beliefs to the political realm, where he criticizes the Catholic Church's use of its considerable influence to oppose LGBT rights, including same-sex marriage and adoption. By highlighting these inconsistencies, Savage encourages readers to think critically about the role of religion in shaping public policy and personal attitudes towards sexuality.
Rethinking Fidelity and Sexual Relationships
In a controversial stance, Savage challenges conventional wisdom about monogamy and fidelity in relationships. Drawing from his experience as a sex advice columnist, he presents scenarios where extramarital sex might actually benefit a relationship.
Savage recounts cases where he has advised individuals in sexless marriages to discreetly seek sexual fulfillment elsewhere, particularly when one partner has lost all interest in sex or is unable to engage in sexual activity due to health issues. His rationale is that such arrangements can sometimes preserve otherwise loving and committed relationships, preventing resentment and frustration from tearing couples apart.
However, Savage is quick to point out that this advice is not a blanket endorsement of infidelity. Instead, he advocates for open communication and mutual understanding between partners. He introduces the concept of being "GGG" in relationships – good, giving, and game. This approach encourages partners to be attentive to each other's desires, willing to please without expecting immediate reciprocation, and open to trying new things within reason.
Savage backs up his ideas with research, citing a study from the Journal of Sex Research that found couples experienced higher sex drive and greater happiness when partners were attentive to each other's individual desires. By challenging traditional notions of fidelity and promoting open dialogue about sexual needs, Savage aims to help readers build stronger, more satisfying relationships.
The Failings of Sex Education and Religious Views on Sex
"American Savage" takes a critical look at how sex is taught and discussed in American society, particularly focusing on the shortcomings of both religious institutions and the education system.
Savage argues that the Catholic Church's view on sex is dangerously disconnected from reality. The Church's insistence on sex solely for procreation ignores the important role that sexual intimacy plays in establishing and maintaining relationships. This stance has led to harmful policies, such as opposition to birth control and abortion, which are at odds with the practices of many Catholics.
Savage presents statistics showing that a vast majority of Catholics support the use of condoms and view premarital sex as acceptable. He also notes that Catholic women have abortions at the same rate as non-Catholic women. These facts, he argues, demonstrate the growing chasm between Church doctrine and the lived experiences of its followers.
Turning his attention to the American education system, Savage criticizes the state of sex education in schools. He argues that many sex ed classes are more accurately described as "sex dread" classes, focusing solely on the risks and dangers of sexual activity while neglecting to discuss pleasure or healthy sexual relationships.
Savage is particularly critical of abstinence-only education, which he argues puts students at greater risk of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and unplanned pregnancies. He points to statistics showing that states with abstinence-only education, such as Mississippi, lead the nation in teen births and STD rates. The author draws a direct link between these education policies and the United States' high rate of teen pregnancies compared to other industrialized nations.
Even "comprehensive" sex education classes, Savage argues, often fall short by instilling fear rather than providing balanced, factual information about sexual health and relationships. By highlighting these shortcomings, Savage calls for a more realistic and holistic approach to sex education that acknowledges the complexities of human sexuality and prepares young people for healthy sexual relationships.
Debunking Arguments Against Marriage Equality and Same-Sex Parenting
Savage dedicates a significant portion of his book to dismantling common arguments against marriage equality and same-sex parenting. He recounts a dinner debate with Brian Brown, a prominent antigay marriage advocate, to illustrate the illogical nature of many arguments against same-sex marriage.
One key point Savage makes is the inconsistency in how religious conservatives apply their beliefs. For instance, when asked why he doesn't oppose divorce despite it being considered sinful by the Church, Brown argues that not everything considered wrong should be illegal. Savage then questions why this same logic isn't applied to same-sex marriage, exposing the arbitrary nature of these objections.
Savage also tackles the "natural law" argument, which posits that marriage exists solely for procreation between a man and a woman. He points out the flaws in this reasoning by asking about infertile couples or those who choose not to have children, highlighting the hypocrisy in selectively applying this criterion to same-sex couples.
When it comes to same-sex parenting, Savage presents evidence countering the claim that children need both a mother and a father for optimal development. He cites studies showing that children of same-sex parents are just as likely to be happy and well-adjusted as those raised by opposite-sex parents. Savage also notes that mainstream child health and social service organizations fully support adoption rights for qualified gay parents.
The author takes particular issue with extreme antigay rhetoric, such as that of Christian fundamentalist Bryan Fischer, who has likened gay men to predators. Savage argues that such baseless accusations not only lack scientific merit but also perpetuate harmful stereotypes that can have real-world consequences for LGBT individuals and families.
The Importance of Pride Events and Sexual Liberation
Contrary to the negative portrayals by some conservative critics, Savage argues that gay pride events and BDSM fairs serve important social functions. He presents these gatherings not as displays of depravity, but as liberating celebrations of freedom and safety.
Pride parades, according to Savage, are about more than just sexual orientation. They represent the freedom to be one's authentic self, challenging societal norms and celebrating diversity. He argues that these events can be beneficial for both LGBT individuals and straight allies, providing a space for people to express themselves without fear of judgment.
Savage also defends BDSM fairs and gatherings, arguing that they play a crucial role in promoting safe practices within the kink community. He points out that many BDSM activities can be dangerous when practiced alone or without proper knowledge. These events allow practitioners to share skills and safety information, potentially preventing accidents or injuries.
To illustrate the importance of destigmatizing alternative sexual practices, Savage shares the tragic story of Reverend Gary Aldridge, who died from autoerotic asphyxiation. Savage suggests that if there were less shame surrounding such practices, people might be more likely to seek information and practice them safely.
Interestingly, Savage draws a parallel between gay pride events and Halloween celebrations, noting that the latter has become an opportunity for straight people to express their sexuality more openly. He suggests that this demonstrates a broader societal desire for occasions to break free from restrictive norms and celebrate sexual expression.
The Nature of Sexual Orientation and the Harm of Staying in the Closet
Savage strongly refutes the argument made by some conservatives that being gay is a choice. He challenges this notion by pointing out the absurdity of the idea that one could simply decide to change their sexual orientation at will.
To emphasize this point, Savage extends a provocative invitation to John Cummins, a conservative politician who has argued that homosexuality is a choice, challenging him to prove his point by willingly engaging in a homosexual act. This rhetorical device serves to highlight the fallacy in the "choice" argument.
Savage argues that while sexual orientation isn't a choice, remaining in the closet as an adult is. He acknowledges that in the past, when discrimination against LGBT individuals was even more rampant, choosing to stay closeted was understandable. However, he criticizes contemporary cases of closeted individuals, particularly those in positions of power, who actively work against LGBT rights.
The author shares the example of Jim West, a Republican politician who opposed anti-discrimination legislation protecting gays and lesbians, only to be later caught soliciting sex from teenage boys online. Savage argues that such cases of hypocrisy not only harm the individuals involved but also perpetuate harmful stereotypes and impede progress towards equality.
By addressing these issues, Savage encourages readers to consider the psychological toll of living in the closet and the broader societal impact of internalized homophobia. He advocates for a society where individuals feel safe and supported in living authentically, regardless of their sexual orientation.
The Impact of the LGBT Movement
Savage's book highlights the significant progress made by the LGBT movement in recent years, particularly in terms of encouraging people to stand up against discrimination and bigotry.
One notable example is the response to Rick Santorum's comparison of homosexuality to child rape and bestiality. Savage and his readers creatively retaliated by redefining "santorum" as a crude sexual byproduct, forever linking the politician's name to the very community he sought to demean. This act of linguistic activism demonstrates the LGBT community's refusal to passively accept derogatory treatment.
Savage also discusses the creation of the It Gets Better project, which he and his husband started in response to the suicide of Billy Lewis, a 15-year-old boy who had been relentlessly bullied. The project aims to provide hope and support to LGBT youth who may be struggling with bullying or thoughts of suicide. By sharing stories of LGBT adults who have overcome similar challenges, the project seeks to show young people that life can improve and that they are not alone.
The author draws inspiration from earlier LGBT activists like Merle Miller, whose 1971 essay "What It Means to Be a Homosexual" was groundbreaking in its angry rejection of societal prejudice. Savage sees the current LGBT movement as a continuation of this legacy, pushing back against bigotry and fighting for equal protection under the law.
Through these examples, Savage illustrates how the LGBT movement has evolved from seeking basic acceptance to actively challenging discrimination and working to create a more inclusive society. He emphasizes the importance of continued activism and the power of individuals to make a difference in the fight for equality.
Beyond LGBT Issues: Healthcare and Gun Control
While much of "American Savage" focuses on LGBT rights and sexuality, Savage also addresses other pressing social issues, particularly healthcare and gun control.
Regarding healthcare, Savage criticizes the opposition to the Affordable Care Act (ACA), also known as Obamacare, especially in religious states. He points out the irony of this opposition given Jesus's teachings about caring for the sick. Savage argues that much of the resistance to the ACA is based on misconceptions, such as the belief that it represents socialism.
The author explains that the ACA actually has conservative roots, having originated from a conservative think tank and first implemented by a Republican governor. He suggests that much of the opposition arose only after President Obama supported the plan. Savage emphasizes the necessity of healthcare reform, noting that before the ACA, around 50 million Americans were uninsured, leading to tens of thousands of preventable deaths each year.
Turning to gun control, Savage argues that current U.S. gun laws are inadequate and contribute to a high rate of gun violence. He points out that the United States has both the highest rate of civilian gun ownership and the highest homicide rate among democratic industrialized nations.
Savage criticizes the tendency to postpone discussions about gun control in the wake of mass shootings, arguing that this delay tactic prevents meaningful reform. He calls for a more open and urgent dialogue about gun control measures, suggesting that the current situation, where concealed weapons can be legally carried in schools, shopping malls, and other public spaces, is untenable.
By addressing these issues alongside LGBT rights, Savage demonstrates the interconnectedness of various social and political challenges facing the United States. He argues for a more comprehensive approach to creating a just and equitable society, one that addresses not only discrimination based on sexual orientation but also access to healthcare and protection from gun violence.
Final Thoughts
"American Savage" is a provocative and thought-provoking exploration of contemporary American society, viewed through the lens of Dan Savage's experiences as a gay rights activist and sex advice columnist. Throughout the book, Savage challenges readers to question long-held beliefs, confront societal prejudices, and work towards a more inclusive and tolerant nation.
Savage's arguments for LGBT rights are grounded in both personal experience and scientific evidence. He effectively dismantles many common arguments against homosexuality and same-sex marriage, exposing the logical inconsistencies and hypocrisy often found in these positions. By doing so, he encourages readers to reconsider their own beliefs and biases.
The author's frank discussions about sex and relationships, while sometimes controversial, offer valuable insights into human sexuality and the complexities of modern relationships. His advocacy for open communication and mutual understanding in sexual matters has the potential to help readers build stronger, more satisfying partnerships.
Savage's critique of sex education in the United States highlights a critical area for improvement in how society prepares young people for healthy sexual relationships. His call for more comprehensive, realistic sex education is supported by compelling evidence showing the failings of current approaches, particularly abstinence-only programs.
While the book primarily focuses on LGBT issues and sexuality, Savage's discussions of healthcare and gun control demonstrate his broader concern for social justice and public welfare. These sections serve to contextualize LGBT rights within a larger framework of societal challenges and progressive reforms.
Throughout "American Savage," Savage maintains a balance between righteous anger at injustice and hope for positive change. His personal stories and experiences lend authenticity to his arguments, while his use of humor and provocative language keeps the reader engaged even when discussing serious topics.
Ultimately, "American Savage" is a call to action. Savage challenges readers to confront their own biases, stand up against discrimination, and work towards a more equitable society. Whether discussing marriage equality, sex education, or gun control, the underlying message is clear: progress requires active engagement and a willingness to challenge the status quo.
As society continues to grapple with issues of sexuality, equality, and social justice, "American Savage" offers a valuable perspective on these complex topics. While readers may not agree with all of Savage's views, his book provides ample food for thought and encourages critical examination of deeply ingrained societal norms and beliefs.
In conclusion, "American Savage" is a bold, unapologetic exploration of modern American society that challenges readers to think differently about sex, relationships, and social issues. Through his unique blend of personal anecdotes, logical arguments, and provocative ideas, Dan Savage invites readers to join him in imagining and working towards a more tolerant, accepting, and equitable United States.