Are we more defined by our differences, or do we share a universal blueprint for how we connect, care, and survive as humans?
1. Humans are hardwired with a universal blueprint for social behavior
Our behaviors are not solely shaped by culture or circumstance; we carry innate tendencies that guide how we interact socially. Nicholas Christakis discovered this realization from his childhood experience bonding with foreign peers on a Turkish island despite cultural and language gaps. These instincts form what Christakis calls the "social suite," a set of characteristics embedded within all humans.
The social suite includes our ability to experience love, seek friendships, and teach and learn from one another. These traits allow us to function as cohesive groups, whether on a playground, in communities, or large nations. However, these built-in traits have a flip side: alongside our ability to bond and collaborate is an inclination to favor those who seem similar to us.
Evidence of this bias appears in a 2011 study with five-year-old children wearing red T-shirts. Children favored peers wearing red shirts and disfavored those in shirts of different colors, regardless of the fact these shirts were randomly assigned. This illustrates how humans seek connection yet also create distinctions. Recognizing individual identities, as seen in the universal human practice of using names, roots us in love and friendship and ensures we treat others as unique individuals.
Examples
- Christakis' friendships in childhood formed despite cultural and language barriers in Turkey.
- The red-shirt study demonstrates preference for "in-groups" even without meaningful differences.
- Universality of personal names helps cement individual relationships critical for cooperation and trust.
2. Shipwrecked survivors reveal our innate social tendencies
When examining human behavior stripped of societal norms and structures, Christakis turned to historical shipwrecks. He compared two groups stranded in isolation in 1864 on Auckland Island: the Invercauld crew and the Grafton crew. Their contrasting fates provide a lens to see the role of our ingrained social behaviors.
The Grafton group, exhibiting aspects of the social suite such as cooperation and learning, worked together to survive—rescuing one another, forming strong bonds, and even creating a makeshift school. This unity ensured every member's survival. The Invercauld survivors, however, abandoned their cohesion. Within days, they neglected weaker members and split apart, resulting in violence and cannibalism. Only three out of 19 survived.
This stark difference underscores the evolutionary advantage of cooperation and adherence to social behaviors. Humans thrive not merely as individuals but through forming supportive groups, even in the most hostile environments.
Examples
- Grafton survivors rescued their weakest and supported each other to create lasting unity.
- Invercauld survivors' lack of cooperation led to disarray and death.
- A makeshift school formed by the Grafton crew highlights humanity's natural tendency to teach and learn.
3. Love is the universal foundation for human relationships
Romantic love, unlike kissing (absent in some cultures), is a universal element shaping human connections. Love, as defined by emotional attachment beyond physical attraction, likely evolved for survival, ensuring families stayed intact during child-rearing and pregnancy.
Christakis explains this evolutionary process using the concept of "exaptation." Just as feathers originally evolved for warmth but were repurposed for flight, an initial instinct to love offspring extended to romantic partnerships. This emotional intimacy helped ensure survival by creating tighter familial bonds and pooling resources.
Interestingly, only in the last 2,000 years has monogamy become the dominant social structure for couples. Anthropologists suggest monogamy reduces societal instability because it provides mates for more individuals, decreasing violence and antisocial behavior often linked to unattached men.
Examples
- The Tsonga people refraining from kissing while still expressing love illustrates love’s universality over specific customs.
- Evolutionary theory suggests early love for children adapted to include mates for survival.
- Monogamy's cultural spread correlates with decreased violence in societies with balanced male-to-female ratios.
4. Friendships are universal bonds that help us overcome hardship
Friendship, defined by trust, care, and vulnerability, exists across nearly all cultures. It is not just a comforting tie but an evolutionary tool that helps individuals survive. Zavien Dobson's ultimate sacrifice for his friends exemplifies how deeply rooted friendship can be in human nature.
While people worldwide form friendships, the ways they express them differ. In the US, friendships focus on shared activities and emotional disclosure, while physical gestures like handholding are central in other cultures, as displayed by former US President George W. Bush's holding hands with Saudi Prince Abdullah.
This emotional connection evolved as an adaptive strategy to navigate crises. For our ancestors, having friends bolstered one’s chances of surviving food shortages, injuries, or other life challenges. Even today, disadvantaged communities rely more on social relationships for support than wealthy ones.
Examples
- Zavien Dobson's selfless act to save his friends' lives represents deep friendship bonds.
- Bush and Abdullah holding hands highlights cultural variance in expressing friendship.
- Poor communities in America depend more on friendships for everyday aid like childcare and home repairs.
5. Technology offers a window into human cooperation
The rise of digital platforms like Amazon Mechanical Turk allows researchers to explore whether basic human social tendencies remain intact in the digital age. One experiment tasked participants with deciding whether to share money with online “neighbors.” Giving money benefited the neighbor more than simply keeping it, but relied on trust that others would later reciprocate.
In groups adopting cooperation early, the behavior thrived. However, if one participant withheld money, selfishness spread quickly. This highlights how cooperation is integral to human behavior yet vulnerable when trust erodes.
Digital platforms offer researchers unprecedented ways to study human tendencies in situations that mimic real-world challenges, proving that both cooperation and defection can ripple through groups.
Examples
- Amazon Mechanical Turk enabled researchers to study reciprocal behavior on a large scale.
- Cooperative groups earned more collectively when trust was shared.
- Non-cooperating participants disrupted entire groups, leading to widespread selfishness.
6. Animals share social behaviors with humans
Many animals display behaviors previously thought unique to humans, such as forming friendships or displaying empathy. Capuchin monkeys, for example, engage in actions like allowing friends to gently bite their fingers—showing vulnerability and trust in their bonds.
The concept of evolutionary convergence explains why certain traits, like trust and cooperation, evolved separately in different species. Just as both birds and bats evolved wings for flight, species like humans, elephants, and apes developed social behaviors because they too faced survival pressures in group settings.
Evidence of shared behaviors, from rat empathy to gorilla languages, suggests the social suite extends to other species, shaped by the shared demands of living collaboratively.
Examples
- Capuchin monkeys show vulnerability in friendships by allowing finger bites.
- Elephants form lasting bonds similar to human friendships.
- Rats demonstrate empathy, suggesting deep-rooted social tendencies.
7. Culture enables humans to thrive in diverse environments
While genetic traits hardwire us to form societies, culture provides the tools to adapt to unique local challenges. Culture, passed through generations, evolves over time, helping groups live harmoniously with their surroundings.
Human culture is tailored for survival. Christakis cites examples of European explorers perishing in unfamiliar lands because they lacked local knowledge, while those who collaborated with native groups thrived. Adaptations like fishing techniques, medicinal plant use, and seasonal migration patterns allowed indigenous peoples to survive hostile environments.
Through culture, humans transform knowledge into collective tools that, unlike individual instincts, are shared for group benefit.
Examples
- Indigenous Arctic communities pass down techniques for surviving extreme cold.
- Amazonian tribes cultivate cultural practices ensuring safety in the rainforest.
- Explorer failures highlight the importance of shared, environment-specific knowledge.
8. Cooperation remains humanity’s greatest survival tool
Humans are uniquely capable of large-scale cooperation, which separates us from most other species. Whether pooling resources, protecting the vulnerable, or forming agreements, this ability ensures mutual survival and prosperity within communities.
Even under extreme conditions, such as shipwrecked survivors of the Grafton, cooperative behavior enabled every group member's survival. Conversely, societies that neglect cooperation risk collapse, highlighting its essential role in human success.
Studies repeatedly demonstrate that people naturally lean toward collaboration, yet it requires trust and reciprocation to flourish sustainably.
Examples
- Grafton crew's survival depended on mutual aid and teamwork.
- Social experiments show collaboration thrives where trust is sustained.
- Modern cities exemplify cooperation on a massive scale, from economies to governments.
9. Genetics and culture complement each other in human success
Human genetic traits interact with cultural tools to enable survival. Traits like long lifespans allow intergenerational knowledge transfer. At the same time, cultural evolution equips communities to adapt to ever-changing external conditions.
Much like natural selection generates stronger individuals, cultures evolve by discarding ineffective habits over time. From simple tools to complex philosophies, this constant refinement equips humans for survival better than genetics alone.
This interplay, unmatched in other species, positions humans as unparalleled in their capacity to thrive globally.
Examples
- Inuit knowledge of hunting seals combines genetic resilience to cold and cultural skill-sharing.
- Traditions evolve, like farming techniques improving outputs over generations.
- Cultural shifts, like transitioning from polygamy to monogamy, shaped human social structures positively.
Takeaways
- Foster friendships and cooperation intentionally; these are central to human survival and well-being.
- Learn and pass on cultural knowledge that adapts to your environment to solve unique challenges.
- Build trust in your community to strengthen cycles of collaboration in work and personal life.