How To Be Black Summary

What does it mean to be authentically black in a society with rigid stereotypes? Baratunde Thurston tells his story, exploring identity, race, and humor in America.

1. African Names Bring Identity and Challenges

Having an African name like Baratunde in 1970s America was both a badge of pride and a recurring challenge. Teachers constantly mispronounced his name, and classmates mocked it, robbing him of simple introductions. As a child, he endured a range of incorrect pronunciations, like "Brad" or "Barracuda."

However, the name Baratunde, derived from Nigeria, connects him to his heritage, meaning "grandfather returns" or "the chosen one." This connection wasn’t always celebrated—even Nigerians sometimes resented his use of the name, questioning his right to claim it as an African-American.

This dual tension—celebrating heritage and addressing cultural estrangement—helped define his early years as he navigated both white and black spaces.

Examples

• His teachers panicked and shortened his name to easier options like "Brad."
• A Nigerian father's outrage when Baratunde explained his name's meaning.
• His African-American peers questioned his authenticity for embracing such a strongly African identity.

2. A Black Mom Isn't Just One Thing

Baratunde’s mother, Arnita, embodied multidimensionality, rejecting societal stereotypes. She was a single black mother raising her child in Washington, DC, in the 1970s, yet she defied common assumptions through her choices and interests.

Arnita embraced the rising health-food craze, preferred organic goods, and led outdoor adventures with her son. She introduced Baratunde to camping, hiking, and survival skills—activities many would not associate with black families. Her insistence on cultural education made sure Baratunde understood and valued his African roots.

She was also a classic "tiger mom.” She pushed him into extracurriculars like double bass in the DC Youth Orchestra, tae kwon do for discipline and self-defense, and scouts to foster camaraderie and culture. She balanced nourishment—both literal and emotional—for a holistic upbringing.

Examples

• Her trips to find organic foods to replace typical sugary and processed snacks.
• Field trips with Baratunde to the Blue Ridge Mountains and North Carolina wilderness.
• Periodic quizzes on African history to ensure Baratunde saw his heritage as a strength.

3. Private School Poses Unique Questions of Identity

Attending Sidwell Friends, a prestigious private school, Barthunde faced the dual pressure of excelling academically and representing blackness. As one of the few black students, he stuck out, often being singled out for lessons related to African-American culture.

For instance, during literature discussions about "Uncle Tom’s Cabin," his classmates would look to him to provide insight, unfairly assuming he spoke for all black people. This constant scrutiny made him more self-conscious but also taught him about managing expectations.

Sidwell also introduced the concept of “Oreo” dynamics (being black on the outside but white on the inside), which revealed the deeper pressures faced by black students to stay connected to their racial identity despite navigating a predominantly white school environment.

Examples

• Classmates would assume he had special authority during lessons on black literature.
• He learned to emulate Sidwell’s polished dialect to fit in.
• A black classmate introduced him to the “Oreo” stereotype, labeling him for befriending white peers.

4. Connecting with African Heritage Strengthens Identity

Baratunde’s childhood included participation in an African cultural group, Ankobia, which melded physical discipline, ancestral knowledge, and survival skills. This initiative aimed to ensure children in underserved communities forged strong self-identities and resisted societal temptations.

Ankobia exposed its members to African culture and history. Elders visited and shared stories about pre-colonial African life. The group also taught street survival, carpentry, and even firearm basics—acknowledging that young black men often needed self-defense knowledge.

Reading Malcolm X and works by Martin Luther King Jr. blended cultural pride with critical thinking about African-American identity. These experiences offered refuge from the pressures of whiteness at Sidwell and deepened his appreciation for his roots.

Examples

• Training drills where the coach, Baba Mike, emphasized physical resilience.
• Carpentry lessons integrated as part of practical education for independence.
• Community elders who lectured on spiritual practices tied to African ancestry.

5. Few Black Faces Create Safety in Numbers

Being part of a racial minority always comes with challenges; for Baratunde and his black peers, lunchroom gatherings became symbolic. White students at Sidwell felt excluded seeing all the black students seated together, inadvertently mirroring societal discomfort with racial unity.

Baratunde explained why black unity wasn’t threatening: it stemmed from a need for representation and a sense of belonging not present in predominantly white spaces. Pushing back against white students’ desire for reverse unions (like an all-white club) became an opportunity to discuss privilege.

The reality was simple—there was strength in numbers, even when the group size was small. For black students, lunch provided solace, solidarity, and reinvigoration.

Examples

• White students questioned the purpose of black-student groups at Sidwell.
• Baratunde pointed out how the entire school was, de facto, a "white union."
• Casual lunch conversations among black students turned into safe spaces to vent.

6. Touching a Black Person's Hair is Off Limits

As Baratunde grew an afro, he noticed an unusual phenomenon: strangers frequently commented on it and tried to touch his hair. This overt curiosity often turned into a breech of personal space, placing him in uncomfortable situations.

To Barantude, this obsession with touching his hair felt dehumanizing, akin to petting an animal. For white people, curiosity about different hair textures came across as innocuous, but for African-Americans, it represented centuries of objectification.

Baratunde emphasized boundaries for those who crossed lines, using both humor and confrontation to address these situations. Friends received the courtesy of patient explanations, while strangers might face swifter admonishment.

Examples

• Strangers would often reach toward his afro without waiting for permission.
• Analogies to petting animals helped him articulate why it was offensive.
• He crafted casual dodging techniques to gracefully reject unwelcome advances.

7. Friendships Dissolve Misconceptions

For white friends, having Baratunde as a friend became a mechanism for learning and confronting misconceptions. Some sought his presence to dispel accusations of racism, whereas others genuinely sought cultural insight.

Baratunde humorously labeled these friendships as his "service to America," emphasizing the value of breaking down racial misunderstandings through conversation. He balanced this role cautiously, ensuring it didn’t transform him into someone’s token black friend.

Genuine friendships helped open dialogue, slowly dismantling awkward questions like if “black people are natural-born dancers.”

Examples

• White friends would rely on him to justify their suspensions of stereotypes.
• White peers got a social “coolness boost” simply by associating with him.
• Conversations helped dispel generalizations, such as beliefs about "inherent rhythm."

8. The Workplace Brings Different Dynamics

Professional environments amplified racial dynamics for Baratunde. Some black coworkers turned out to be allies, while others felt threatened by the “new black employee” disrupting their solitary niche.

White coworkers also presented challenges, particularly when they treated him as an ambassador for the black community. Rather than battling assumptions head-on or becoming the token spokesperson, he tactfully handled work-related biases.

These interactions shed light on the persistent struggles for racial equality in office spaces.

Examples

• Encounters with “black deniers,” who avoided acknowledgment of shared racial identity.
• White coworkers cornering him with political topics framed through his race.
• Friendly black colleagues easing his transition through inside jokes.

9. Humor Serves as a Bridge Across Divides

Through humor, Baratunde found a way to communicate delicate truths about racial identity, systemic inequities, and social awkwardness. Humor softened interactions, allowing space for confrontation without escalation.

Satire, jokes, and anecdotes helped him call out misguided notions, such as ignorance surrounding black student unions or innocent cultural stereotyping. His ability to laugh at his own experiences empowered others to listen.

Humor created connection, encouraging conversations that might otherwise remain taboo.

Examples

• His comedic recounting of African name mispronunciations diffused tension.
• He jokingly performed ignorance about his afro to highlight racial hair obsessions.
• Jokes humanized otherwise difficult social themes for his audience.

Takeaways

1. Respect personal boundaries by avoiding invasive acts, like touching someone’s hair or assuming curiosity grants permission.
2. Confront biases with humor when possible—it can deescalate tension and pave the way for thoughtful dialogue.
3. Build spaces for community and representation in schools or workplaces to address the isolation minorities often feel.