Introduction
In "How To Be Black," Baratunde Thurston offers a witty and thought-provoking exploration of what it means to be black in America. Through personal anecdotes and sharp observations, Thurston challenges stereotypes, confronts racial issues, and provides a unique perspective on growing up black in a predominantly white society. This book is not just for black readers; it's for anyone interested in understanding the complexities of race relations and the black experience in the United States.
Growing Up with an African Name
Thurston's journey begins with his name, Baratunde, which immediately sets him apart from his peers. Growing up in 1970s America with an African name presented numerous challenges, particularly in school settings.
The Name Game
From the first day of school, Thurston faced the struggle of having teachers and classmates mangle his name. He recounts humorous incidents where his name was butchered into various forms like "Barry Tune," "Baritone Dave," and even "Bartender." Some teachers, overwhelmed by the unfamiliar syllables, simply resorted to calling him "Brad."
Over time, Thurston developed a sense of humor about these mispronunciations, even anticipating creative new ways people might mess up his name. He now sees it as a sort of entertainment, waiting for the day someone accidentally calls him "Beelzebub" or somehow incorporates a "Q" into his name.
Unexpected Reactions from Africans
Interestingly, Thurston discovered that having an African name didn't necessarily endear him to Africans living in the United States. He shares an anecdote about calling a Nigerian friend and speaking with the friend's father, who was outraged that a non-Nigerian would use such a name.
When Thurston attempted to demonstrate his knowledge of the name's meaning – "grandfather returns" or "the chosen one" – the Nigerian man cut him off, repeating the exact same definition in an indignant tone. This experience wasn't isolated, as Thurston encountered similar reactions from other Nigerians throughout his life.
These experiences highlight the complexities of identity and cultural ownership, even within the broader black community. Thurston's name, meant to connect him to his African heritage, sometimes became a source of tension and misunderstanding.
Defying Black Stereotypes: Thurston's Unconventional Upbringing
Thurston's childhood experiences challenge many common stereotypes about black families and lifestyles. His upbringing, shaped by his mother Arnita Lorraine Thurston, was far from the typical portrayal of black urban life often seen in media.
A Health-Conscious Single Mom
Growing up in Washington, DC, Thurston was raised by a single mother who worked as a cook and phone-book delivery person. Despite their modest means, Arnita was deeply invested in the emerging health food movement of the late 1970s.
Thurston humorously recalls his mother's enthusiasm for organic and health foods, which often clashed with his childhood desires for more conventional treats. He describes the disappointment of vegan donuts covered in carob compared to the deep-fried, chocolate-dipped varieties his friends enjoyed.
Outdoor Adventures and Cultural Experiences
Contrary to stereotypes that might suggest black families are disconnected from nature, Arnita loved the outdoors and frequently took Thurston and his friends on camping trips and hikes. These experiences in places like the Blue Ridge Mountains and North Carolina's wilderness exposed Thurston to a side of life not typically associated with urban black youth.
The "Tiger Mom" Approach
Arnita's parenting style could be described as that of a "tiger mom," a term usually associated with strict Asian parenting. She had high expectations for Thurston and ensured he was involved in a wide range of extracurricular activities.
These activities included:
- Playing the double bass in the DC Youth Orchestra Program, which led to a performance at the prestigious Kennedy Center.
- Taking tae kwon do classes after having his bike stolen by local troublemakers.
- Participating in an all-black Boy Scout troop, which involved more camping and cultural events.
Emphasis on Cultural Heritage
Arnita was committed to ensuring Thurston understood and appreciated his cultural heritage. She introduced him to complex topics at a young age, such as buying him a book about apartheid when he was just eight years old.
To reinforce his knowledge of African geography and culture, Arnita hung a map of Africa in their kitchen and regularly quizzed Thurston about African nations. This early education in African history and culture played a significant role in shaping Thurston's identity and worldview.
Navigating Private School as a Black Student
Thurston's experiences as one of the few black students in a private school setting provide insight into the challenges and awkward moments that can arise in such environments.
Fish Out of Water
After spending time in public schools, Thurston's transition to Sidwell Friends, a prestigious private school, was a significant culture shock. He stood out not only because of his race but also because of the linguistic habits he had picked up in public school, such as "axing" questions instead of "asking" them.
The Burden of Representation
Being the only black student in his class often put Thurston in uncomfortable situations, especially when studying topics related to black culture or history. He recalls how, during a class discussion of "Uncle Tom's Cabin," all eyes would turn to him as if he were an authority on 19th-century literature simply because of his race.
Learning the Social Landscape
Navigating friendships in this new environment presented its own set of challenges. Thurston shares an enlightening interaction with another black student who introduced him to the concept of an "Oreo" – someone who is black on the outside but "white" on the inside. This encounter highlighted the complex social dynamics and expectations within the black community itself.
Balancing American and African Identities
Thurston's experiences with cultural education programs highlight the efforts within the African-American community to maintain connections to their African heritage while embracing their American identity.
The Ankobia Program
Thurston participated in a program called Ankobia, derived from the Twi language of Ghana, meaning "those who lead in battle." This program, aimed at children from less privileged backgrounds, sought to strengthen cultural ties and prepare young black individuals for the challenges they might face.
The program's activities included:
- Intense physical training led by the memorable Baba Mike, including exercises that pushed the children to their limits.
- Practical skills training in areas like carpentry and electronics.
- Basic firearms education, based on the assumption that such knowledge might be necessary in their lives.
- A reading list featuring works by influential black leaders like Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr.
- Visits from community elders who had lived in Africa, sharing insights into ancestral traditions and cultures.
These experiences provided Thurston and his peers with a strong foundation in their cultural heritage and practical life skills, while also instilling a sense of pride and resilience.
The Dynamics of Black Student Groups
Thurston's experiences at Sidwell Friends shed light on the complexities surrounding black student groups in predominantly white institutions.
The Lunchroom Divide
The tendency for the few black students at Sidwell to sit together during lunch caused concern among some white students, who felt excluded and questioned whether these gatherings should be seen as a threat. Thurston had to explain that this was simply a natural occurrence of friends wanting to sit together, no different from any other group of friends.
The Need for a Black Student Union
The formation of a black student union at Sidwell raised questions about the need for a white student union, revealing a lack of understanding about the challenges faced by minority students. Thurston had to explain that the entire school was essentially already a white student union, which was precisely why black students needed their own representation.
These experiences highlight the ongoing need for education and dialogue about the importance of safe spaces and representation for minority groups in predominantly white institutions.
Navigating Interracial Friendships and Boundaries
Thurston's experiences with interracial friendships provide valuable insights into the dos and don'ts of cross-cultural interactions, particularly when it comes to physical boundaries and cultural sensitivity.
The Hair-Touching Taboo
One of the most striking examples Thurston shares is the frequent desire of non-black people to touch his afro. He recounts how strangers would often ask to touch his hair, sometimes not even waiting for permission before reaching out. This led Thurston to develop a quick, graceful maneuver to avoid unwanted touching while explaining why it's not appropriate.
Thurston emphasizes that touching a black person's hair, especially without permission, is disrespectful and can be seen as treating them like a pet rather than an equal. He takes the time to explain this to friends who make this mistake, highlighting the importance of respecting personal boundaries and understanding the historical context that makes such actions problematic.
The Role of the "Black Friend"
Thurston humorously describes his role as the "black friend" to white people, seeing it as a service to America. He notes several benefits that white people gain from having a black friend:
- It automatically makes them seem cooler by association.
- It provides them with a defense against accusations of racism when they say something insensitive.
- It offers an opportunity for cultural exchange and understanding.
On a more serious note, Thurston recognizes the importance of these friendships in bridging cultural divides and fostering better understanding between communities. By being open to answering questions and addressing misunderstandings, he contributes to breaking down barriers and stereotypes.
The Boston Experience: From Hostility to Harvard
Thurston's experiences in Boston, particularly his time at Harvard University, offer a nuanced look at the challenges and opportunities faced by black students in higher education.
A Cold Welcome
Despite Massachusetts' reputation as a liberal state, Thurston and his mother encountered a chilly reception when they first arrived in Boston to visit Harvard. The city's history of racial tensions, particularly surrounding school desegregation in the 1970s, seemed to linger in the atmosphere. Thurston notes that the first person to greet them warmly on campus was another black freshman.
Finding Community at Harvard
Contrary to his initial fears, Thurston found that being black at Harvard wasn't as difficult as he had anticipated. His experiences highlight the importance of finding community and support within a large institution:
Roommate Bonding: Thurston was paired with another black student, Dahni-El, as his roommate. Their shared cultural background and experiences helped them form a strong bond from the start.
Cultural Pride: Both Thurston and Dahni-El openly displayed their African heritage, with Dahni-El hanging an African flag in their room and Thurston wearing traditional Ghanaian clothing.
Financial Solidarity: Recognizing the financial challenges many students face, Thurston and Dahni-El pooled their resources to help each other navigate the expenses of college life.
Campus Jobs: Thurston joined the Dorm Crew, a team of student janitors. While this might seem like a stereotypical job for minority students, Thurston found it to be a diverse group and appreciated the solitude and good pay it provided.
These experiences at Harvard demonstrate how finding a supportive community and embracing one's identity can help overcome the challenges of being a minority student at an elite institution.
Workplace Challenges: Navigating Race in Professional Settings
After graduating from Harvard, Thurston entered the workforce and encountered a new set of challenges related to being black in a professional environment.
The Complexity of Black Colleague Relationships
Thurston's experiences with other black coworkers were varied and sometimes surprising:
Supportive Allies: Some black colleagues were welcoming and supportive, offering advice and camaraderie.
Competitive Rivals: Others, particularly those who had previously been the only black employee, sometimes viewed Thurston as a threat and constantly tried to outperform him.
"Black Deniers": Thurston encountered coworkers who refused to acknowledge their shared racial background or any common experiences, distancing themselves from their black identity in the workplace.
These diverse reactions highlight the complexity of racial dynamics in professional settings and the individual ways people navigate their identities at work.
Challenges with White Colleagues
Interactions with white coworkers presented their own set of obstacles:
Spokesperson Syndrome: White colleagues often expected Thurston to speak on behalf of the entire black community, putting him in awkward situations where he was asked to provide "the black perspective" on various issues.
The Obama Question: Thurston shares a specific example of being cornered in an elevator and asked about his opinions on Barack Obama, with the implicit assumption that his view represented all black people.
Limited Response Options: When faced with such situations, Thurston found himself with three main choices:
- Avoid the question by changing the subject
- Confront the colleague about their assumption
- Provide an honest personal opinion, risking further questions in the future
Thurston advises opting for one of the first two options to avoid being constantly put in the position of unofficial spokesperson for all black people.
The Importance of Understanding and Humor in Addressing Racism
Throughout his book, Thurston emphasizes the role of understanding, communication, and humor in navigating racial issues and reducing discrimination.
Education and Dialogue
Thurston's experiences highlight the importance of educating others about the black experience and the impact of seemingly innocent actions or assumptions. By explaining why certain behaviors are problematic (like touching a black person's hair) or challenging stereotypes through his own life experiences, Thurston contributes to greater understanding between races.
The Power of Humor
Humor plays a significant role in Thurston's approach to addressing racial issues. By finding the funny side of awkward or potentially offensive situations, he creates opportunities for dialogue and reflection without alienating others. This approach can make difficult conversations about race more approachable and less threatening for all parties involved.
Embracing Complexity
Thurston's stories reveal the complexity of racial identity and experiences. By sharing his unique upbringing and the various ways he has navigated predominantly white spaces, he challenges simplistic notions of what it means to be black in America. This nuanced perspective encourages readers to look beyond stereotypes and consider the individual experiences that shape each person's identity.
Conclusion: Bridging Divides and Fostering Understanding
"How To Be Black" is more than just a humorous memoir; it's a thoughtful exploration of race relations in America and a guide to navigating the complexities of racial identity in various settings. Through his experiences, Thurston demonstrates that:
- Stereotypes about black people and black culture are often inaccurate and limiting.
- The black experience in America is diverse and cannot be reduced to a single narrative.
- Open communication and willingness to explain one's experiences can help bridge racial divides.
- Humor can be a powerful tool for addressing serious issues and fostering understanding.
- Embracing one's cultural heritage while participating fully in mainstream society is possible and enriching.
Thurston's book serves as both a mirror for black readers to reflect on their own experiences and a window for non-black readers to gain insight into the challenges and joys of being black in America. By sharing his story with honesty and humor, Thurston invites readers of all backgrounds to engage in meaningful dialogue about race and to consider their own roles in creating a more inclusive and understanding society.
The book's ultimate message is one of hope and possibility. While acknowledging the very real challenges and prejudices that persist in American society, Thurston's experiences show that it is possible to navigate these obstacles with grace, humor, and determination. He encourages readers to embrace their unique identities, challenge their own assumptions, and work towards a more inclusive and equitable world.
In a time when racial tensions continue to make headlines and shape national conversations, "How To Be Black" offers a refreshing and insightful perspective that can help readers of all backgrounds better understand and appreciate the complexities of racial identity in America. Through laughter and reflection, Thurston's book paves the way for more open, honest, and productive discussions about race, identity, and the shared experiences that unite us all.