In her groundbreaking book "I'm Not Yelling," Elizabeth Leiba takes readers on a transformative journey through the challenges faced by Black businesswomen in corporate America. Born in the UK to Jamaican immigrants and later moving to the US as a teenager, Leiba's personal experiences and professional journey in higher education leadership provide a powerful backdrop for her insights and strategies.
The book emerged during a time of significant social upheaval, with the COVID-19 pandemic coinciding with a renewed focus on racial inequality following George Floyd's murder. Leiba's voice became a beacon for many Black women who resonated with her unfiltered accounts of racial profiling and microaggressions shared on LinkedIn.
While primarily aimed at Black businesswomen, "I'm Not Yelling" offers valuable lessons for anyone interested in creating a more equitable and inclusive workplace. The book is a call to action, urging readers to reflect, heal, and take decisive steps towards personal and professional empowerment.
Owning Your Story and Voice
One of the central themes in Leiba's book is the importance of embracing one's authentic self. Many Black women, she argues, have not allowed themselves the time and space to fully explore and understand their own stories. This lack of self-reflection can make it difficult to tap into the power of their voices.
Leiba shares her own journey of self-discovery, realizing that her carefully crafted professional image was hiding important aspects of her true self. She had suppressed her exuberant inner child, concealed difficult experiences like a false arrest at 19, and downplayed her struggles and achievements.
By reclaiming her full story, including the uncomfortable and challenging parts, Leiba found a new reservoir of confidence and creativity. This authenticity attracted new opportunities, including media attention and speaking engagements. It also meant letting go of relationships and situations that didn't align with her true self.
The book encourages readers to engage in deep self-reflection, asking questions like:
- What were your childhood dreams?
- Who were your heroes growing up?
- How much of your story do you want to share?
- What do you want your legacy to be?
Leiba emphasizes the power of affirmations in this process, suggesting phrases like "I release limiting beliefs of my past" and "My voice is powerful" to support readers in embracing their whole selves.
Challenging Imposter Treatment and Microaggressions
The COVID-19 pandemic revealed a stark reality: only 3% of Black professionals reported returning to full-time office work post-pandemic. Leiba explores the reasons behind this statistic, focusing on two major challenges: imposter syndrome and microaggressions.
A pivotal moment in Leiba's understanding came when a peer corrected her self-diagnosis of imposter syndrome. This realization led her to recognize that the problem wasn't her self-doubt, but rather the treatment she received from others. She wasn't experiencing imposter syndrome; she was subjected to imposter treatment.
Similarly, Leiba reframes the concept of microaggressions. These subtle, often unintentional discriminatory comments or actions can have a significant cumulative impact on Black women's mental health and sense of self-worth. Leiba committed to challenging these behaviors in the moment, despite initial discomfort.
The book encourages readers to reflect on their own experiences with imposter treatment and microaggressions:
- When do you encounter these issues?
- How do these interactions make you feel?
- Are there colleagues or managers you can safely discuss your concerns with?
Leiba provides affirmations to support readers in confronting these challenges, such as "I belong in every space I enter" and "My voice is worthy of respect."
Quitting Code-Switching and Image Managing
Another crucial aspect of Leiba's journey involves abandoning the practices of code-switching and image management. Code-switching, traditionally understood as alternating between different languages or dialects, extends beyond linguistics for Black women in the workplace. It often involves modifying speech patterns, body language, and even appearance to fit into predominantly white corporate cultures.
Leiba shares her own experience of spending hours each morning straightening her hair to conform to perceived professional standards. She realized that these practices of code-switching and image management, while often seen as necessary for success, came at a significant psychological cost.
The book challenges readers to question these practices:
- Do you engage in code-switching or image-managing behaviors?
- What do you perceive to be the benefits?
- How do you feel when enacting these behaviors?
Leiba's decision to embrace her natural self – including her afro, expressive mannerisms, and vibrant style – marked a turning point in her personal and professional life. She encourages readers to do the same, offering affirmations like "My authentic self is a gift" and "My hair is a crown."
Leadership and Mentorship
The final section of "I'm Not Yelling" focuses on leadership and mentorship, which Leiba sees as crucial for Black women's advancement in the business world. She shares her own disillusionment upon reaching a long-sought leadership position, realizing it wasn't what she truly wanted. This experience led her to advocate for building one's own "table" rather than fighting for a seat at someone else's.
Leiba notes the significant increase in businesses owned by Black women between 2014 and 2019, reflecting a shift from seeking acceptance in corporate spaces to creating entrepreneurial opportunities. For those who choose to stay in traditional workplaces, she emphasizes the importance of mentorship in reaching leadership positions.
The book highlights the tangible benefits of mentorship, citing a study that found Black women with mentors enjoyed a 37.4% increase in salary compared to those without. Leiba encourages readers to reflect on their professional goals and consider both seeking mentorship and becoming mentors themselves.
Questions for reflection include:
- Are you on track to meet your professional goals?
- What table do you ultimately want to sit at the head of?
- Do you currently have a mentor or mentors? If not, why not?
- In what ways could you mentor others?
Leiba provides affirmations to support leadership aspirations, such as "My truth is my power" and "I epitomize greatness."
The Bigger Picture
Throughout "I'm Not Yelling," Leiba emphasizes that the challenges faced by Black businesswomen have far-reaching implications. The costs are not only personal but societal, affecting the overall fabric of corporate America and beyond.
By understanding and addressing these challenges, Black women can not only improve their own well-being and success but also pave the way for future generations. Leiba sees this work as crucial in creating a more equitable and inclusive business world.
The book is a call to action, urging Black women to:
- Embrace their authentic selves and stories
- Challenge imposter treatment and microaggressions
- Abandon code-switching and image management
- Pursue leadership roles and engage in mentorship
While these steps may seem daunting, Leiba provides practical strategies, reflective questions, and empowering affirmations to support readers on their journey.
Final Thoughts
"I'm Not Yelling" is more than just a book; it's a movement. Elizabeth Leiba's work serves as both a mirror and a roadmap for Black businesswomen navigating the complex terrain of corporate America. By sharing her own experiences and insights, she invites readers to examine their own lives and take bold steps towards authenticity and empowerment.
The book's title itself is a powerful statement, challenging the stereotype of the "angry Black woman" and reclaiming the right to speak up and be heard. Leiba's message is clear: Black women don't need to change who they are to succeed in the business world. Instead, it's the business world that needs to change to fully embrace and value the unique perspectives and talents that Black women bring to the table.
Through personal anecdotes, practical advice, and thought-provoking questions, Leiba guides readers on a journey of self-discovery and professional growth. She encourages Black women to reclaim their voices, challenge systemic inequalities, and create spaces where they can truly thrive.
The impact of "I'm Not Yelling" extends beyond its primary audience of Black businesswomen. It serves as an eye-opening resource for allies, managers, and organizations seeking to create more inclusive work environments. By shedding light on the often-invisible challenges faced by Black women in the workplace, Leiba's book contributes to a broader conversation about diversity, equity, and inclusion in corporate America.
Ultimately, "I'm Not Yelling" is a testament to the resilience, strength, and potential of Black women in business. It's a reminder that true success comes not from conforming to others' expectations, but from embracing one's authentic self and using that authenticity as a source of power.
As readers close the final pages of this book, they are left with a sense of empowerment and a call to action. Whether it's speaking up against microaggressions, pursuing leadership roles, or mentoring the next generation, each step taken by Black women towards their full potential contributes to a larger shift in the business landscape.
Elizabeth Leiba's "I'm Not Yelling" is not just about surviving in corporate America; it's about thriving, leading, and transforming it. It's a powerful reminder that when Black women reclaim their voices and spaces, they don't just change their own lives – they change the world.