In the vast tapestry of life on Earth, humans stand out as a uniquely successful species. We've conquered every corner of the globe, built sprawling civilizations, and even ventured into space. But what's the secret to our success? Many people assume it's our intelligence, our ability to create tools, or our capacity for violence. However, in her thought-provoking book "Survival of the Friendliest," Vanessa Wood presents a different perspective: our true superpower might just be our ability to make friends.
Wood challenges the common interpretation of "survival of the fittest" as a brutal competition where only the strongest survive. Instead, she argues that throughout evolutionary history, the ability to cooperate, form bonds, and build communities has been a key factor in survival and success. By examining evidence from various scientific fields, including evolutionary biology, anthropology, and psychology, Wood makes a compelling case for the importance of friendliness in human evolution and society.
This book takes readers on a fascinating journey through time and across species, exploring how social skills and cooperation have shaped not just human development, but the evolution of other animals as well. From domesticated foxes to peaceful bonobos, from early human ancestors to modern societies, Wood shows how the ability to get along with others has been a crucial advantage in the struggle for survival.
As we delve into the key ideas of "Survival of the Friendliest," we'll discover how our cognitive abilities evolved to help us cooperate, why friendliness is linked to certain physical traits, and how our capacity for forming social bonds has both positive and negative consequences. We'll also explore practical implications for building a more tolerant and peaceful world.
So, let's embark on this enlightening exploration of friendship, cooperation, and the true nature of human success.
The Evolution of Cooperation
Humans Have Special Cognitive Skills for Cooperation
One of the most remarkable things about humans is our ability to work together. We can coordinate complex tasks, share information, and build intricate social structures. But have you ever wondered how we developed these abilities?
Wood argues that humans have evolved special cognitive skills that help us cooperate. One of the most important of these is called "theory of mind." This is the ability to understand that other people have thoughts, feelings, and intentions that may be different from our own.
To illustrate this concept, Wood describes a simple experiment involving babies. If you hide a toy under one of two cups and then point to the correct cup, even a 9-month-old infant will usually look under that cup. This might not seem impressive, but it actually demonstrates a sophisticated cognitive skill. The baby understands that your pointing is meant to communicate something important.
Interestingly, our closest animal relatives, chimpanzees, struggle with this task. Even if a chimp knows there's food under one of the cups, they won't recognize a human's pointing gesture as helpful. They'll simply guess randomly. This shows that understanding the communicative intentions of others is not a given in the animal kingdom – it's a special skill that humans have developed.
Dogs, on the other hand, are pretty good at following human pointing gestures. This is likely because we've domesticated them over thousands of years, selecting for dogs that could understand and cooperate with us. This gives us a clue about how these cognitive skills might have evolved in humans too.
The ability to understand others' minds and intentions is crucial for cooperation. It allows us to coordinate our actions, share knowledge, and work together towards common goals. Without this skill, complex human societies would be impossible.
But why did humans evolve such advanced cooperative abilities? Wood suggests that there must have been strong evolutionary pressure favoring individuals who could work well with others. In other words, being friendly and cooperative must have given our ancestors a significant survival advantage.
Friendliness is Linked to Communication Skills
To understand how friendliness might have evolved, Wood takes us to an unexpected place: a fox farm in Siberia. In the 1950s, a scientist named Dmitry Belyaev started an ambitious experiment to domesticate foxes. He selected and bred only the friendliest foxes in each generation, those that showed the least fear or aggression towards humans.
The results were astonishing. After just a few generations, the foxes began to change. They became more docile and eager to interact with humans, wagging their tails and licking people's hands like dogs. But that wasn't all. The friendly foxes also developed physical changes: floppy ears, curly tails, and varied coat colors. These are all traits commonly seen in other domesticated animals like dogs and pigs.
Most interestingly, the friendly foxes also showed improved communication skills with humans. When presented with the two-cup test (where a treat is hidden under one cup and the human points to it), the friendly foxes could follow the pointing gesture much better than their wild counterparts.
This experiment reveals something crucial: friendliness, physical traits associated with domestication, and communication skills all seem to be linked genetically. When you select for one of these traits, you tend to get the others as well.
Wood suggests that this link between friendliness and communication skills might help explain how humans became so socially adept. If our ancestors faced evolutionary pressure to be more friendly and cooperative, they may have inadvertently also evolved better communication skills and cognitive abilities for understanding others.
This idea is supported by evidence from other species too. For example, Bengalese finches, which have been bred in captivity for centuries, are better at learning complex songs than their wild relatives. Similarly, domesticated ferrets outperform wild ferrets in tests of social cognition.
The implication is clear: friendliness isn't just about being nice. It's a complex trait that comes with a suite of cognitive and communicative abilities. These abilities would have been incredibly useful for early humans, allowing them to form larger, more complex social groups and to cooperate on a scale never before seen in the animal kingdom.
Self-Domestication in Bonobos
To see how friendliness might evolve naturally, without human intervention, Wood turns our attention to one of our closest relatives: the bonobo. Bonobos are a species of great ape that are closely related to chimpanzees, but their social behavior is strikingly different.
Chimpanzee societies can be quite violent. Male chimps often fight aggressively over territory and mates. They've even been observed engaging in what could be described as warfare between different groups. Female chimps aren't much gentler, often fighting each other and sometimes even killing the offspring of rivals.
Bonobos, on the other hand, live in much more peaceful societies. They rarely engage in serious violence, and conflicts are often resolved through sexual behavior rather than aggression. Food sharing is common, and females have a high status in bonobo groups.
What's particularly interesting is that bonobos show many of the physical traits associated with domestication. Compared to chimps, they have smaller faces and jaws, less pronounced brow ridges, and smaller teeth. They also show more variation in pigmentation, with some individuals having pink lips or light-colored hair tufts even as adults.
These physical traits, combined with their more peaceful behavior, suggest that bonobos may have undergone a process of self-domestication. In other words, they may have evolved to be more friendly and less aggressive without any human intervention.
But why would this happen? Wood suggests that it might be due to the different environments in which chimps and bonobos evolved. Bonobos live in areas with more abundant food resources, which may have reduced competition and made aggressive behavior less advantageous. Over time, individuals who were better at getting along with others may have had more success in this environment, leading to the evolution of a more peaceful, "domesticated" species.
The bonobo example is important because it shows that friendliness can evolve naturally, without human intervention. It suggests that under the right conditions, evolution can favor social skills and cooperation over aggression and competition.
This has profound implications for understanding human evolution. If bonobos could self-domesticate, could the same thing have happened to our own species? As we'll see in the next section, there's evidence to suggest that it did.
Human Evolution Favored Friendliness
When we look at the fossil record of human evolution, we see an interesting trend. Over time, our ancestors' faces became less rugged and more gracile. Brow ridges became less pronounced, jaws became smaller, and teeth became less intimidating. These changes mirror what we see in domesticated animals and in bonobos.
Wood argues that these physical changes are evidence that human evolution favored friendliness. Just as with Belyaev's foxes, selecting for friendliness in humans may have led to changes in physical appearance.
But why would evolution favor friendliness in humans? Wood suggests several reasons:
Better communication: Friendlier individuals might have been better at communicating and cooperating, allowing them to share knowledge and resources more effectively.
Larger social groups: The ability to get along with others would have allowed humans to form larger, more stable social groups. This would have provided better protection from predators and more efficient resource gathering.
Technological advancement: Cooperation and knowledge sharing would have accelerated the development and spread of new technologies, giving friendly groups an edge over less social ones.
Childcare: Human infants are exceptionally helpless and require a lot of care. A more cooperative social structure would have allowed for better childcare, increasing survival rates.
There's even evidence that these changes in friendliness affected our biology in ways that enhanced social bonding. For example, human eyes have white sclerae (the white part of the eye), which is rare in other primates. This makes it easier to see where someone is looking, which is crucial for non-verbal communication.
The evolution of friendliness in humans didn't just change our bodies; it also reshaped our brains and behavior. As we'll see in the next section, our brains evolved to form powerful social bonds, even with strangers.
Our Brains Evolved for Social Bonding
One of the most fascinating aspects of human biology is how our brains respond to social interactions. When we engage in positive social experiences, our brains release chemicals that make us feel good. Two of the most important of these are serotonin and oxytocin.
Serotonin is often associated with feelings of happiness and well-being. Oxytocin, sometimes called the "love hormone," plays a crucial role in social bonding. It's released during childbirth, breastfeeding, and sexual activity, but also during other forms of positive social interaction.
Wood explains that these brain chemicals played a crucial role in human evolution. As our ancestors became more social, individuals who got a stronger "high" from positive social interactions would have been more motivated to seek out and maintain social relationships. Over time, this would have led to stronger social bonds and more cohesive groups.
What's particularly interesting is that humans can get an oxytocin boost from interacting with strangers, not just close family members. This ability to form positive feelings towards people outside our immediate family was crucial for the development of larger social groups.
Wood gives the example of the Hadza, a group of hunter-gatherers in Tanzania. The Hadza share food extensively within their community, even with individuals they're not closely related to. This kind of sharing and cooperation, facilitated by our brain's reward system, allows human groups to thrive in challenging environments.
Our brains' sensitivity to social rewards also allows us to form a new category of relationship: the "intragroup stranger." These are people we don't know personally but still treat as part of our group. This ability is what allows us to function in large societies where we can't possibly know everyone personally.
However, this powerful social bonding mechanism has a dark side too. The same brain systems that make us feel good about cooperating with our group can also make us wary or even hostile towards outsiders. This brings us to one of the challenging aspects of human social behavior: our tendency to dehumanize those we see as different from us.
The Dark Side of Social Bonding
While our evolved capacity for social bonding has many benefits, it also has a troubling downside. The same mechanisms that help us form strong bonds within our group can lead us to view outsiders with suspicion or even hostility.
Wood illustrates this point with the tragic story of Rachel, a woman from the Banyamulenge community in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Rachel's life was torn apart by ethnic violence, culminating in the murder of her entire family by an outside rebel group.
This kind of intergroup violence might seem to contradict the idea that humans evolved to be friendly. However, Wood argues that it's actually a consequence of our strong in-group bonding tendencies.
Here's how it works:
Oxytocin's dual effect: While oxytocin promotes bonding within our group, it can also increase aggression towards perceived outsiders. This is similar to how a mother bear is gentle with her cubs but fiercely protective against threats.
Reduced empathy for outsiders: Our brains tend to engage less in "theory of mind" when dealing with people we perceive as outsiders. In other words, we spend less time considering their thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Dehumanization: In extreme cases, people may start to view outsiders as less than human. This process, sometimes called "simianization," involves depicting other groups as animals or subhuman creatures.
These psychological tendencies can be exploited by those seeking to promote conflict. Throughout history, propaganda has often relied on dehumanizing imagery to stoke hatred against other groups.
However, Wood emphasizes that violence and hatred are not inevitable outcomes of our social nature. While we have a tendency to favor our in-group, we also have the capacity to expand our circle of empathy. The challenge is finding ways to foster understanding and connection across group boundaries.
In the next sections, we'll explore some strategies for promoting tolerance and building a more inclusive society.
Building a More Friendly World
Fostering Tolerance Through Contact
If our brains are wired to favor our in-group and potentially fear outsiders, how can we build more tolerant societies? Wood suggests that the answer lies in something seemingly simple: contact.
She tells the story of Andrzej Pitynski, a non-Jewish Polish man who risked his life to help Jewish people during the Holocaust. What made Pitynski different from many of his neighbors who stood by and did nothing? According to research by sociologists Pearl and Samuel Oliner, people like Pitynski often had one thing in common: they had close friendships with Jewish neighbors before the war.
This anecdote illustrates a powerful principle in social psychology known as the "contact hypothesis." The idea is that positive, personal contact between members of different groups can reduce prejudice and foster understanding.
Wood provides several examples of how this works:
College roommates: Studies have shown that college students randomly assigned roommates of different racial backgrounds tend to be more tolerant of racial differences later in life.
Desegregated neighborhoods: In the 1940s, white residents of desegregated neighborhoods were much more likely to support further desegregation than those living in segregated areas.
Diverse workplaces: People who work in diverse environments often develop more positive attitudes towards people from different backgrounds.
The key is that the contact needs to be positive and personal. Simply being in proximity to people who are different isn't enough; there needs to be meaningful interaction and cooperation.
Wood argues that if we want to build more tolerant societies, we need to create more opportunities for this kind of positive contact across group boundaries. This could involve:
- Building more mixed-income housing developments
- Creating inclusive public spaces where people from different backgrounds can interact
- Encouraging diversity in schools and workplaces
- Organizing community events that bring different groups together
However, Wood also acknowledges that this isn't always easy. People often feel threatened by those they perceive as different, and forcing contact in the wrong way could backfire. The challenge is to create environments where people feel safe and comfortable interacting with those who are different from them.
One interesting approach Wood mentions is the idea of "Kindness Clubs" created by conservationist Claudine André in the Democratic Republic of Congo. These clubs allow local children to meet and interact with bonobos, fostering empathy and understanding not just for the apes, but potentially for other humans as well.
This leads us to an intriguing idea: could our relationships with animals help us build better relationships with each other?
Our Treatment of Animals Reflects Our Treatment of Each Other
In the final section of her book, Wood explores an fascinating connection: the way we treat animals may be closely linked to how we treat other humans.
She begins with the story of Claudine André, who went to great lengths to care for bonobos during the Second Congo War. André believed that teaching children to respect and love animals could help prevent future conflicts between humans.
This might seem like a stretch, but Wood presents evidence suggesting there's truth to this idea:
Ancient bonds: Humans have lived alongside animals for our entire history. We've not only used them for food and work, but also formed close emotional bonds with them. Archaeological evidence shows that our ancestors often buried their dogs alongside them, indicating the depth of these relationships.
Empathy link: Research by psychologists Gordon Hodson and Kristof Dhont found that people who attribute more thoughts and feelings to animals also tend to score higher on measures of tolerance towards other humans.
Hierarchy attitudes: Another study by Brian Hare and Wen Zhou found that people who believed some dog breeds were inherently superior to others also tended to favor hierarchies in human society.
These findings suggest that our attitudes towards animals and our attitudes towards other humans are closely intertwined. People who are able to empathize with animals and see them as thinking, feeling beings seem more likely to extend that empathy to other humans as well.
Wood argues that this connection could be leveraged to promote more tolerant attitudes in society. By encouraging people to form positive relationships with animals and to consider their welfare, we might also be fostering more empathetic attitudes towards other humans.
This idea ties back to the broader theme of the book: that friendliness, cooperation, and empathy are key to human success. Just as our ancestors' ability to form bonds with each other (and with animals like dogs) gave them an evolutionary advantage, cultivating these qualities in modern society could help us build a more peaceful and harmonious world.
Conclusion
As we reach the end of our journey through "Survival of the Friendliest," let's recap the key ideas Vanessa Wood has presented:
Cooperation is key: Humans have evolved special cognitive skills that allow us to cooperate on an unprecedented scale. Our ability to understand others' minds and intentions (theory of mind) is crucial for this.
Friendliness is linked to communication: The process of becoming friendlier doesn't just change behavior; it also enhances communication skills and even alters physical appearance. This is seen in domesticated animals and potentially in human evolution as well.
Self-domestication is possible: The example of bonobos shows that a species can evolve to be more peaceful and cooperative without human intervention.
Human evolution favored friendliness: The physical and cognitive changes in human evolution suggest that being friendly and cooperative gave our ancestors a significant advantage.
Our brains are wired for social bonding: The release of chemicals like oxytocin during positive social interactions reinforces our tendency to form strong social bonds.
In-group bonding has a dark side: Our strong social nature can also lead to suspicion or hostility towards those perceived as outsiders.
Contact can foster tolerance: Positive, personal interactions between members of different groups can help reduce prejudice and build understanding.
Our treatment of animals reflects on us: How we relate to animals may be closely linked to how we treat other humans.
Wood's overarching message is that friendliness, far from being a weakness, has been a crucial factor in human success. Our ability to cooperate, form communities, and extend empathy even to strangers has allowed us to thrive in diverse environments and build complex societies.
However, the book also highlights the challenges we face. Our tendency to form strong in-group bonds can lead to conflict with those we perceive as different. In today's interconnected world, finding ways to overcome these divisions is more important than ever.
The good news is that our capacity for friendliness and cooperation is not fixed. By creating opportunities for positive contact between different groups, fostering empathy (even towards animals), and building inclusive communities, we can tap into the better angels of our nature.
"Survival of the Friendliest" offers a hopeful perspective on human nature and our future. It suggests that by embracing our social, cooperative side, we can build a more peaceful and harmonious world. The key is to recognize that our true strength lies not in competition or aggression, but in our ability to form connections, understand each other, and work together.
As we face global challenges that require unprecedented levels of cooperation, the ideas in this book become even more relevant. Climate change, pandemics, and other existential threats can only be addressed through collective action on a global scale. By understanding and nurturing our innate capacity for friendliness and cooperation, we can rise to these challenges.
In the end, Wood's book reminds us that being kind, empathetic, and cooperative isn't just nice – it's a powerful evolutionary strategy that has been key to our success as a species. As we move forward, embracing these qualities may be crucial not just for our continued success, but for our very survival.