The Female Eunuch

Women have been taught to behave like eunuchs – subservient and desexualized – but they can redefine femininity and liberate themselves from societal expectations.

1. Society Encourages Women to Act Like Castrated Beings

Women's expected demeanor in society mirrors the qualities of a eunuch: submissiveness, passivity, and a lack of strong desire. Women are pressured to conform to the ideal of being nurturing and agreeable while suppressing ambition or assertiveness.

This dynamic is evident in media portrayals; independent and strong female characters often become subdued or dependent by the story’s end. A confident female lead might succumb to the hero, reinforcing the idea that dominant female traits need to be "corrected" or controlled by male authority.

Even the physical appearance society deems attractive for women – soft, youthful, and unthreatening – mirrors the desexualized essence of a eunuch. Women are bombarded with expectations to alter their natural looks, whether through makeup or body-shaping garments, to fit an unrealistic ideal.

Examples

• Television dramas where "bossy" or independent women find happiness only post-marriage.
• Beauty advertisements promoting smooth, wrinkle-free skin.
• Comic books where powerful female heroes are outdone by their male counterparts by the finale.

2. The Language of Sex Disempowers Women

Society often describes heterosexual sex in a way that positions women as passive participants, rewarding "good" behavior with intimacy rather than viewing them as equal stakeholders in pleasure.

Romantic novels and mainstream narratives perpetuate this by depicting women withholding sex until their partners commit emotionally. Women's sexual needs and preferences are rarely part of the conversation.

This framing has profound consequences. Many women have limited awareness of their bodies and struggle to experience fulfilling sexual lives. For instance, clitoral orgasms may be easier to achieve but are erroneously considered less "ideal" than the elusive vaginal orgasm, which requires deep emotional connection and mutual exploration.

Examples

• Advice articles framing sex as a bargaining tool in relationships.
• A lack of sex education that focuses on female pleasure.
• Pop culture referencing men’s sexual satisfaction but rarely women’s.

3. Gender Stereotypes Begin in Childhood

From an early age, societal norms ensure that boys and girls live within narrowly defined roles. Girls are encouraged to play quietly with dolls or stick close to their mothers, fostering dependency. Boys, in contrast, are urged to explore, take risks, and assert themselves.

Even when girls excel academically as kids, they often lack encouragement to develop independent thinking. Women entering university frequently aim for social mobility through marriage instead of focusing solely on intellectual pursuits, as societal expectations push them in this direction.

This teaching conditions girls to conform, stifling their curiosity and creativity just when they need to explore their potential the most.

Examples

• Parents warning daughters against rough outdoor play while encouraging sons to climb trees.
• University freshmen prioritizing appearances and relationships over academic exploration.
• A gap in confidence levels between young men and women in leadership classes.

4. The Eternal Feminine is a Dangerous Ideal

Historical depictions of women in art and poetry often show them as delicate and passive, likened to objects such as flowers or reclining figures. This "eternal feminine" flatters male fantasies but robs women of individuality and power.

Men design these images to project their desires onto women, turning them into objects of beauty to own or aspire toward, rather than recognizing them as autonomous beings. Women then internalize and replicate these ideals, perpetuating the pressure to fit into these limited molds.

By rejecting this fragile image, women can create identities independent of societal expectations and claim real authority over how they are represented.

Examples

• Paintings of “perfect” women in submissive postures, like Botticelli’s Venus.
• Victorian poetry praising women for modesty and vulnerability.
• Hollywood’s emphasis on beauty standards over character depth for actresses.

5. Women Have Been Alienated from Their Own Bodies

Menstruation and reproduction are viewed as shameful or inconvenient rather than celebrated as natural elements of female biology. Products like tampons and societal taboos work to conceal these processes.

Religions further stigmatize these natural cycles by labeling menstruating women unclean or restricting their participation in rituals. This alienation severs women from understanding their biology and limits their empowerment.

By embracing and understanding their bodies, women can overcome the misinformation and shame that have accumulated for centuries.

Examples

• Commercials depicting menstruation as a "secret" problem to fix.
• Religious rules barring women from temples during their periods.
• Female athletes hiding physical struggles tied to their reproductive health.

6. Women in Marriage Often Surrender Independence

Marriage traditionally reinforces women's dependence on men. Many women enter marriages expecting financial or emotional support while compromising on their career or personal ambitions.

Even today, despite more working women, societal norms push married women to quit jobs after having children, placing them back in the role of homemaker. This undermines financial autonomy and reinforces traditional gender roles.

By shifting this mindset, women can create partnerships where both contributions are equally valued and independence is respected.

Examples

• Women advised to prioritize their husband’s career over their own.
• Stay-at-home mothers facing difficulty reentering the workforce.
• Outdated marriage customs like dowries emphasizing dependence.

7. Women Must Redefine Femininity

Femininity, as defined by men, is often tied to softness, obedience, and beauty. Women have the power to reject this scripted idea entirely and explore what femininity means to them.

Taking control of their own definitions ensures a fuller identity beyond stereotypes. Whether in appearance, morality, or pursuits, women must dismantle the assumption that femininity equals weakness.

Rejecting socially constructed roles creates room for authenticity and fulfillment.

Examples

• Women choosing bold careers traditionally dominated by men.
• Media beginning to depict female heroes as leaders, not objects.
• Movements pushing back against beauty standards, like embracing natural hair.

8. Women’s Dependency Can and Must Be Shattered

By striving for independence, women can revolutionize both their personal lives and society. Experimenting with options outside traditional roles provides a roadmap for ambition, courage, and non-linear paths.

Rather than seeking security through dependency, women can focus on discovering their true calling – whether in careers or personal partnerships. Taking risks leads to a more meaningful identity.

Through self-awareness and self-reliance, women can break free of societal shackles and create more opportunities for future generations.

Examples

• Women-led initiatives challenging corporate power dynamics.
• Entrepreneurs breaking into male-dominated industries.
• Generational role models appearing in public leadership.

9. Both Genders Benefit from Rejecting Traditional Roles

Messages of masculinity and femininity are harmful to both sexes. Men are told to pursue violence and physical strength, while women idolize this misguided heroism.

Rejecting these constructs allows both genders to prioritize intelligence, empathy, and collaboration. Encouraging men to express vulnerability and women to act fearlessly creates balance in personal and societal dynamics.

When women stop rewarding violent heroism, societal pressures pushing both genders into conflict-based roles will weaken.

Examples

• Women admiring intellectual bravery over "toxic masculinity."
• New definitions of co-parenting showing men and women as team players.
• Post-conflict societies thriving with women in leadership positions.

Takeaways

1. Reclaim your body by learning about its natural processes and dispelling shame and misinformation.
2. Develop independence by questioning traditional roles in relationships and prioritizing personal goals.
3. Reject dangerous ideals of femininity by seeking authenticity over societal approval.