The Fifth Trimester

“How do you balance the demands of a career and the chaos of new motherhood? The Fifth Trimester offers a roadmap for navigating this challenging yet transformative phase of life.”

1. Self-care is not selfish: It’s essential for new moms.

Returning to work after having a baby can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re struggling with body image and exhaustion. Lauren Smith Brody emphasizes the importance of self-care as a way to combat postpartum depression and boost confidence. Taking care of yourself isn’t just about vanity—it’s about mental health and resilience.

Research shows that self-compassion can reduce the harsh self-criticism many new moms experience. Brody suggests small but impactful steps, like dressing in clothes that make you feel good and putting a positive affirmation on your mirror. These small acts can help you feel more in control and confident as you navigate your new role as a working mom.

Even if time is tight, there are quick ways to prioritize self-care. Staying hydrated, using a simple makeup routine, and wearing comfortable yet stylish clothes can make a big difference. These small efforts can help you feel more like yourself, even on the most chaotic days.

Examples

• A friend of the author placed a sticky note with a confidence-boosting message on her mirror to start her day positively.
• Psychotherapist Nitzia Logothetis recommends wearing well-fitting clothes that reflect how you want to feel.
• Drinking water and using algae-based eye creams can reduce dark circles caused by sleepless nights.

2. Trust your partner to step up.

Many new moms hesitate to share parenting responsibilities, often doubting their partner’s ability to care for the baby. However, Brody argues that letting go of control and trusting your partner is key to building a balanced parenting dynamic.

In a survey conducted by the author, nearly half of new moms believed their partners would need weeks to adjust to parenting. Yet, 76% of partners were ready to take on responsibilities right away. This shows that moms often underestimate their partners’ capabilities, sometimes due to guilt about not doing it all themselves.

To foster trust, Brody suggests learning new parenting skills together, like taking a baby CPR class. This not only strengthens your bond but also builds confidence in your partner’s abilities. When you return to work, think of it as an “emergency situation” where you have no choice but to trust your partner to handle things.

Examples

• A survey revealed that 76% of partners were ready to take on parenting duties without delay.
• Carolyn Pirak, director of the Bringing Baby Home Program, highlights how guilt can prevent moms from sharing responsibilities.
• Taking parenting classes together can help both partners feel more prepared and connected.

3. Choosing the right day care eases separation anxiety.

Leaving your baby in someone else’s care can be one of the hardest parts of returning to work. Brody advises that finding a high-quality day care can provide peace of mind and help you focus on your job.

The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development outlines three key factors to look for in a day care: a low child-to-staff ratio, well-educated caregivers, and positive caregiving practices. These elements ensure that your baby receives the attention and stimulation they need to thrive.

It’s also normal to feel jealous of your child’s caregiver, especially if your baby forms a strong bond with them. Brody reassures moms that this is a healthy sign of your child’s ability to form secure attachments. A consistent caregiver is better for your baby’s emotional well-being, so embrace this as a positive development.

Examples

• A good day care should have no more than three children per adult for babies under 18 months.
• Caregivers with certifications in child development provide better care than those with only a high school diploma.
• Research shows that children feel calmer and more secure with a consistent caregiver.

4. Breast pumping at work requires preparation.

For moms who want to continue breastfeeding after returning to work, mastering the art of breast pumping is essential. Brody provides practical tips to make this process smoother and less stressful.

Investing in two breast pumps—one for home and one for work—can save time and reduce the risk of forgetting your equipment. You’ll also need ice packs, storage bags, and a freezer with enough space to store a two-day supply of milk. This backup supply ensures you’re covered in case of mishaps.

Clothing choices can also make pumping easier. Button-down shirts and wrap dresses allow for quick access, while avoiding silk fabrics can prevent embarrassing stains. Starting your baby on a bottle before returning to work can also help ease the transition.

Examples

• Moms in Brody’s survey found that having two breast pumps reduced stress and saved time.
• Keeping a two-day supply of milk in the freezer prevents emergencies caused by overuse.
• Button-down shirts and wrap dresses are practical options for pumping at work.

5. Focus on the benefits of your job to stay motivated.

Returning to work can feel like a daunting task, especially when you’d rather be home with your baby. Brody encourages moms to focus on the positive aspects of their job to stay motivated and avoid quitting.

Studies show that children of working mothers grow up to be more ambitious and empathetic. Additionally, the most significant factor in whether a mom returns to work is how rewarding she finds her job. Reflecting on why you chose your career in the first place can help reignite your passion.

A gradual return to work can also make the transition easier. Starting part-time and slowly increasing your hours can reduce feelings of regret and help you adjust to your new routine.

Examples

• A Harvard study found that children of working moms are kinder and more ambitious.
• Women who take shorter maternity leaves report more daily regrets and are more likely to quit.
• Gradual returns to work help moms refocus on their careers without feeling overwhelmed.

6. Build trust and understanding with your colleagues.

Returning to work as a new mom can sometimes create tension with coworkers. Brody advises being honest and empathetic to avoid resentment and build strong relationships.

Some colleagues may feel that new moms receive special treatment, which can lead to jealousy. To counter this, show that you’re willing to pull your weight and repay any favors. Avoid acting superior by downplaying the challenges of motherhood compared to other responsibilities.

Sharing the less glamorous aspects of parenting, like sleepless nights and messy diapers, can also foster understanding. Being transparent about your struggles helps colleagues see you as relatable rather than privileged.

Examples

• 30% of working moms admitted to resenting coworkers with new babies before becoming moms themselves.
• Offering to repay favors shows that you’re a team player, not someone seeking special treatment.
• Sharing stories of parenting challenges can make you more relatable to colleagues.

Takeaways

1. Place a positive affirmation on your mirror to boost confidence each morning.
2. Invest in two breast pumps and prepare a two-day supply of milk to reduce stress.
3. Gradually return to work part-time to ease the transition and avoid burnout.