The Greater Freedom Summary

“What happens when you grow up at the intersection of two cultures, and neither fully accepts you?”

1. Growing Up Torn Between Two Worlds

Alya Mooro’s childhood in Britain was shaped by the dual impact of her Arab roots and the predominantly white society she lived in. She often felt reduced to her “otherness” rather than her individuality. From a young age, her identity was nebulous, dictated more by external labels than self-exploration.

Arab girls, like Alya, often find themselves stuck between identifying as Black or white on forms and in communities that don’t account for their cultural uniqueness. Social systems and media magnify this erasure. For Alya, the lack of accurate representation in the media was a constant knock on her sense of self. Arab characters, when featured at all, were often stereotypes – usually as terrorists or tyrants.

This loss of representation has real consequences, especially for children. Alya notes that distorted portrayals of Arab girls set unrealistic and harmful expectations. Without positive role models, young Arabs may become disillusioned, even internalizing damaging stereotypes.

Examples

• Alya was often mistaken for other Arab or brown-skinned girls at school, showcasing society’s failure to see her identity.
• A study found that 92% of Middle Eastern characters in shows were non-regular and overwhelmingly negatively portrayed.
• Young girls mimic or react to media stereotypes, often adopting rebellious attitudes to fit societal perceptions.

2. Striving to Match European Beauty Standards

Arab women face relentless societal pressure to meet beauty norms deeply tied to Western ideals. Alya describes the “Halo Effect” – how appearances, particularly those aligned with European traits, seem to open career and social doors. This expectation, however, isolates women who cannot conform.

Alya’s experiences as a teenager attest to the pain of bending herself to societal ideals. She engaged in harsh rituals like chemical hair straightening and painful waxing, enduring physical harm to suppress her natural traits. These practices stem from colonial hangovers and the dominance of European standards in global media.

However, a cultural shift began with figures like Kim Kardashian, who represented curvier, darker beauty counter to traditional European norms. Alya eventually found pride in her natural body and features but recounts the years of discomfort spent chasing an unattainable image.

Examples

• At 13, Alya’s attempt to straighten her hair chemically caused scalp burns and permanent hair damage.
• Arab girls as young as nine start biweekly waxing routines that remove all visible body hair below the eyelashes.
• Kim Kardashian’s global rise helped Alya, and many other women, recognize beauty beyond Eurocentric standards.

3. Adolescence Highlighted Opposing Cultural Rules

Puberty for Alya was profoundly shaped by her exposure to vastly different societal norms in Cairo and London. When her family temporarily relocated to Egypt, she experienced a close-knit community but also suffocating expectations, particularly around female behavior.

In Arab societies, a woman’s reputation is heavily scrutinized, with gossip acting as a societal enforcer. Alya’s move back to the UK at 14 highlighted a social contradiction: while Western parties encouraged open displays of affection, such behaviors in Cairo led to taboo and severe judgment. Reconciling these conflicting values became a persistent personal challenge.

Such divergence forced Alya to safeguard her curiosity about sex and relationships while grappling with feelings of guilt. This duality left her feeling caught between suppressing desires and seeking self-expression without judgement.

Examples

• Alya recalls walking down a Cairo street and being cat-called by men of all ages despite dressing conservatively.
• At a London party, a couple openly engaged in sexual acts on the dance floor, an unthinkable act in her Arab community.
• Alya’s first secret kiss took place in a dingy elevator out of fear of being caught.

4. The Impact of Internalized Shame About Sexuality

Alya’s struggles with sex stemmed from longstanding societal guilt surrounding the female body. When Alya lost her virginity under ambiguous circumstances with a man she now calls “Satan,” she felt an overwhelming mix of guilt and fear – shaped by cultural teachings that villainize female desire.

Denied open conversations about sex during her formative years, Alya misinterpreted unhealthy experiences as normal. Worse, school gossip labeled her a “whore,” further embedding her discomfort with her sexual self. Rising from these experiences took years of reflection and self-healing.

Ultimately, through therapy and self-exploration, Alya learned to separate her physical experiences from shame. Embracing her sexuality became an act of self-liberation, forged from the trauma of suppressive teachings.

Examples

• A high school relationship ended with Alya shamed by peers for losing her virginity to someone unkind.
• Her mother had “The Talk” a full year after it was too late, omitting any dialogue about agency or desire.
• Hypnotherapy helped Alya embrace healthier sexual attitudes.

5. Marriage Comes With Overwhelming Expectations

In Arab traditions, marriage is seen as an obligation for women, with a timeline and requirements that prioritize cultural norms over personal choice. Alya experienced these expectations firsthand, including a preference for partners of similar ethnicity and faith, regardless of personal connection.

When Alya dated a Black man, societal chatter about their interracial relationship revealed deeply ingrained biases. Conversations about who one should marry often ignore compatibility, focusing instead on lineage, faith, and appearances.

Though many married young within her community, Alya realized she valued her independence and preferred creating joy for herself. Confidently single, she bucked cultural stigmas and embraced a non-traditional perspective on happiness.

Examples

• Alya’s relationship with a Black man was met with warnings from her mother and silent disapproval from family.
• Legal systems in Arab nations invalidate interfaith marriages, blocking access to birth certificates for non-Muslim spouses.
• UNICEF reports that one in five Middle Eastern girls marries by 18, perpetuating cycles of youthful obligation.

6. Islamophobia Brought Additional Pressure

After 9/11 and its global repercussions, Alya avoided associating closely with Islam, fearing both outsiders’ prejudice and judgment from practicing Muslims. The term “moderate Muslim” reflects the tightrope Arab diaspora members like her had to walk to stay accepted.

Western Islamophobia increased after terror-related tragedies, even influencing Alya’s personal biases. She recalls irrational fears of Muslims she misunderstood as dangerous, a reaction she deeply regretted after introspection.

She observed that Western stereotypes fail to capture nuance, such as agnostic or secular Muslims seamlessly blending modern life with cultural identity. For Alya, reclaiming her perspective became an act of defiance against stereotypes.

Examples

• Hate crimes in the UK spiked 500% after the Manchester Arena bombing in 2017.
• Alya polled fellow diaspora Arabs and found many self-identified as “not very Muslim” to avoid scrutiny.
• Satirical content creators are popular in Saudi Arabia, highlighting secular Muslims’ lighter sides.

7. Realizing Feminism Through Painful Lessons

Initially, Alya dismissed feminism as unnecessary or misaligned with her experiences. Deep-seated stereotypes convinced her that differences between genders justified imbalances. Over time, she confronted the reality that sexism, both subtle and overt, was ever-present.

Incidents like being dismissed as a “disposable vagina” by a rapper mirrored her observations of Middle Eastern conservatism. Both contexts diminished women to objects for men’s consumption or protection.

Reflecting on global gender inequality shaped her advocacy for equality. She reasons that empowerment stems from granting women complete agency over their choices, rather than dictating submissive or emancipated roles.

Examples

• A pitch voiced by a man's voice secured 68% of support, compared to just 32% for a woman’s delivery.
• In Egypt, six of ten worst-off countries in global rankings for gender equity are from the Arab region.
• Islam initially provided inheritance rights and elevated women, showing that equality isn’t foreign to Arab traditions.

8. Perspective Shapes Home and Belonging

Navigating British and Arab cultures, Alya learned to see both as equally flawed yet integral parts of herself. The balance between them depends on the perspective she applies.

She notes London’s diversity – 37% of residents were born overseas – as an opportunity for integration, while Brexit inflamed racism against immigrants. Similarly, her immigrant identity shapes behavior and choices, as she feels pressure to ‘behave’ in countries granting her acceptance.

Creating home isn’t tied to culture or geography but relationships and routines. She cherishes the freedom to adapt without allegiance to any particular labels.

Examples

• Alya spotted institutional racism reinforced when Shamima Begum lost her UK citizenship, linking culture strictly to heritage.
• A Sikh doctor in the UK was told to “go home” post-Brexit, reflecting language faced by non-whites.
• Alya now values the familiar, like station exits, and relationships to root belonging in self over external judgment.

9. Representation Changes Everything

Representation remains a major force in shaping confidence among marginalized groups. Alya repeatedly highlights that positive, realistic portrayals of Arabs could foster self-assurance for young kids and challenge existing prejudices.

Media representation lacking nuance perpetuates stereotypes of Arabs as dangerous, inferior, or alien. These images confirm biases in viewers globally, depriving Arab youth of aspirational, empowering characters that resonate.

For Alya, making her own stories felt vital to combat outdated tropes. By sharing perspectives, she hopes younger Arab girls won’t face the loneliness of growing up unseen.

Examples

• UK dramas show Arabs speaking with accents or branded as either villains or background noise.
• Alya found solace in conversation with peers in the Arab diaspora but struggled with isolation beforehand.
• Writing her book solidified her purpose to redefine norms and push toward inclusive media.

Takeaways

1. Challenge stereotypes in your daily life by learning about diverse cultures and engaging with media that portrays them fairly.
2. Reflect on society’s unrealistic expectations and take steps toward self-acceptance, prioritizing mental health over appearance.
3. Champion inclusive spaces, especially for marginalized communities, in work, media, and policy to combat implicit erasure.