Introduction
In "The Greater Freedom," Alya Mooro takes us on a deeply personal journey through her experiences growing up as an Arab woman in both Cairo and London. This thought-provoking book explores the challenges of navigating two distinct cultures and the search for identity in a world full of conflicting expectations.
Mooro's story is not just her own – it's a reflection of the experiences shared by many in the growing Arab diaspora across Europe and the United States. Through her own narrative and interviews with other women of Arab descent, she sheds light on the complexities of forging an identity while caught between traditional Arab values and Western ideals.
The book delves into a range of topics that shape the lives of Arab women, including beauty standards, sexuality, marriage, religion, and the impact of media representation. Mooro's honest and often raw account challenges stereotypes and offers a nuanced perspective on what it means to be an Arab woman in the modern world.
As we follow Mooro's journey from confusion and self-doubt to self-discovery and empowerment, we gain valuable insights into the unique challenges faced by those living between cultures. Her story is one of resilience, growth, and ultimately, the pursuit of personal freedom.
Caught Between Two Worlds
Growing up as an Arab girl in Britain, Alya Mooro often felt like she was living in two separate worlds. This sense of being caught between cultures is a common experience for many children of immigrants, but it can be particularly challenging for those from Arab backgrounds.
The Struggle for Identity
From an early age, Mooro felt defined more by her otherness than by her individual traits. In predominantly white Britain, she and other people of color were often subject to lazy stereotypes and generalizations. This led to frustrating experiences, such as being confused with other brown girls in her class, regardless of their actual backgrounds.
The author points out that even the concept of "Arab" identity is complex and often unclear. Different organizations and sources list varying numbers of Arab states, and many nationalities in the Middle East don't traditionally consider themselves Arab at all. This ambiguity adds another layer of complexity for those trying to define their identity in a new cultural context.
Finding Community in Difference
Interestingly, it was in the melting pot of London that Mooro's Arab identity began to crystallize. Surrounded by a diverse array of nationalities, she and her Middle Eastern neighbors found themselves bonding over their shared experiences and cultural similarities. This sense of community provided a contrast to the dominant British culture and helped shape a new, diasporic Arab identity.
The Challenge of Fitting In
Despite this sense of community, Mooro and her peers often struggled to find their place in British society. In highly segregated schools and on official forms, they were frequently forced to choose between identifying as white or black, with no option for "Arab." This lack of recognition left many feeling invisible and unsure of where they belonged.
The Power of Representation
One of the most significant challenges Mooro faced growing up was the lack of realistic and positive representations of Arab characters in mainstream media. This absence of relatable role models had a profound impact on her sense of self and belonging.
Stereotypes and Misrepresentation
Mooro observed that when Arab characters did appear in media, they were often reduced to harmful stereotypes. Even as representation improved following the events of 9/11, it was primarily through an increase in stories about terrorism, with Arabs relegated to playing terrorists or other negative roles.
A study analyzing television shows in 2015 and 2016 revealed the extent of this problem:
- 92% of scripted shows had no season regulars of Middle Eastern origin
- Of the few that did appear:
- 78% were portrayed as terrorists, agents, soldiers, or tyrants
- 67% spoke with an accent
This limited and often negative representation has far-reaching consequences, especially for children growing up in Arab diaspora communities.
The Impact on Youth
Without positive role models in media, children from Arab backgrounds can struggle to envision themselves in a variety of roles and careers. This lack of representation can lead to feelings of listlessness and, in some cases, may even push young people to conform to the very stereotypes they see portrayed.
Mooro argues that if society consistently portrays Arab children as angry or problematic, it becomes much easier for them to internalize and act out these expectations. This creates a self-fulfilling prophecy that perpetuates negative stereotypes and makes it harder for individuals to break free from these limiting perceptions.
Beauty Standards and Cultural Pressure
Like many women, Alya Mooro faced intense pressure to conform to specific beauty standards. However, as an Arab woman, she found herself caught between two sets of expectations, often feeling alienated by the images of beauty surrounding her.
The Halo Effect and Double Standards
Mooro discusses the "Halo Effect," a psychological phenomenon where attractive people are perceived more positively and given more opportunities. While this affects women across cultures, she argues that Arab women face even greater pressure to maintain their appearance.
This double standard is illustrated through an anecdote about an Egyptian-British friend who feels comfortable running errands with her hair tied up in London but would never do so in Egypt. The friend admits she would judge others harshly for doing the same in her home country, highlighting the internalized pressure many Arab women face.
Conforming to European Beauty Ideals
Growing up, Mooro quickly learned that European physical traits were considered more attractive, a standard influenced by factors ranging from colonialism to the spread of Western media through the internet. For Arab women, conforming to these standards often involves painful and potentially harmful practices.
Hair Struggles
One of the most significant challenges for many Arab women is dealing with their naturally curly, thick, and dark hair. Mooro shares her own experience of starting to chemically straighten her hair at the age of 13, using harsh treatments that burned her scalp and eventually led to hair loss. She admits that to this day, she has never attended an important personal or professional event with her hair in its natural state.
Body Hair Removal
The author describes the common practice among Arab women of removing all body hair below the eyelashes, typically using hot wax on a biweekly basis. This painful ritual often begins at a young age, with some girls starting as early as nine years old. While attitudes are slowly changing, Mooro notes that it's still considered newsworthy when a prominent woman chooses not to remove her body hair and appears in public in her natural state.
Body Image and Changing Ideals
Mooro also struggled with body image issues, feeling that her figure didn't match the slender European ideal promoted in fashion and media. It wasn't until the rise of celebrities like Kim Kardashian, who embraced and celebrated curves, that Mooro began to see beauty in her natural shape and coloring.
This shift in beauty standards helped Mooro move away from trying to squeeze into uncomfortable clothing that didn't suit her body type. Instead, she began to appreciate and celebrate her natural features, marking an important step in her journey towards self-acceptance.
Navigating Sexuality and Cultural Expectations
One of the most challenging aspects of Mooro's journey was reconciling her sexuality with the cultural expectations placed on Arab women. Her experiences highlight the complex and often contradictory messages young women receive about their bodies and desires.
The Cocoon of Community
When Mooro's family moved back to Cairo for a year when she was 13, she initially felt welcomed by the tight-knit community. Many of her classmates were extended family members or had connections to her grandparents. This sense of belonging provided a feeling of safety and comfort.
However, Mooro soon realized that this close-knit community also came with intense scrutiny, especially regarding women's behavior and sexuality. In Middle Eastern societies, gossip and social judgment act as powerful regulators of behavior, with women's sexuality being particularly policed.
The Burden of Virtue
In Cairo, Mooro observed that women couldn't walk down the street without being catcalled, regardless of their age or attire. This highlighted the double standard placed on women: they were expected to abstain from sexuality while simultaneously looking attractive at all times.
This social pressure made natural rites of passage, such as first kisses, feel furtive and sordid. Mooro recalls her own first kiss taking place in a filthy elevator, the only place she and her boyfriend could find privacy.
Cultural Clash and Acting Out
Upon returning to the UK, Mooro brought with her the internalized judgment of Middle Eastern society. This led to a period of rebellion against her parents' rules, including staying out late, drinking, smoking, and lying about her activities.
The contrast between the relatively conservative environment she had experienced in Cairo and the more sexually open culture of London created internal conflict for Mooro. She observed that while couples in Cairo might deny kissing at a party, in London, public displays of affection were much more common and explicit.
The Shame of Sexuality
For Arab girls like Mooro, sex was often portrayed as dirty and shameful. This conflicted with the more casual attitudes towards sexuality she observed among her Western peers. The result was a deep-seated sense of guilt and shame surrounding her own sexual desires and experiences.
Traumatic Sexual Experiences
The shame Mooro had internalized about sex set the stage for several traumatic sexual experiences. Her first sexual encounter occurred under what she describes as "really shitty circumstances," highlighting the dangers of not having open, honest conversations about sex and consent.
Mooro shares a particularly troubling experience with a partner she refers to as "Satan." Their relationship, which began when she was 15, was marked by secrecy and questionable consent. The shame and guilt surrounding the relationship prevented Mooro from seeking help or advice, even when she felt uncomfortable with the situation.
The Consequences of Silence
When word of her relationship with "Satan" got out, Mooro faced harsh judgment from her peers, who labeled her a "whore." The situation was further complicated when her mother found out. Fearing severe consequences, Mooro lied to protect herself.
This incident highlights the dangerous silence surrounding sexuality in many Arab communities. While some women face extreme consequences, including honor killings, for perceived sexual transgressions, even in more moderate families, the lack of open communication can lead to misunderstandings and missed opportunities for support.
Learning to Embrace Sexuality
It took years for Mooro to overcome the shame and guilt associated with her sexuality. Through therapy and self-reflection, she eventually learned to enjoy casual sex and build satisfying relationships. However, she notes that finding a worthy partner remains a challenge, even as she's become more comfortable with her own desires.
Marriage and Societal Expectations
In Arab culture, marriage is often seen as a crucial milestone in a woman's life. However, as Mooro explores in her book, the expectations surrounding marriage can be stifling and often disregard women's individual wishes and aspirations.
Impossible Standards
Arab women face a multitude of expectations when it comes to marriage:
- They are expected to get married.
- They should marry young.
- They must marry the "right" person.
- They bear the responsibility for sustaining the marriage.
These expectations create immense pressure and can lead to unhappiness and unfulfillment. Mooro points out that in many Arab societies, women are often blamed for marital problems, including their husband's infidelity or the decision to divorce.
Cultural and Religious Restrictions
For many Arab families, there's an expectation that young people will marry someone who looks like them and shares the same beliefs. This can create challenges for those who fall in love outside of these parameters.
Mooro shares her own experience of facing racism when dating a black ex-boyfriend. Her friends gossiped about the interracial relationship, and even her mother expressed surprise and disapproval. After the relationship ended, a family member admitted to secretly hoping it would fail.
Religious expectations also play a significant role in marriage choices. In many Arab countries, interfaith marriages are not legally recognized. Mooro explains that if she were to marry a non-Muslim and have children, their marriage wouldn't be recognized in Egypt, leading to practical issues such as difficulty obtaining birth certificates for their children or even sharing a hotel room as a married couple.
Changing Trends and Personal Growth
Despite these cultural pressures, Mooro has come to realize that she's most comfortable when single. This reflects a growing trend in England, where the average age of brides has risen to 35. However, she notes that this shift is not mirrored in the Middle East, where early marriage is still common. According to UNICEF, one in five girls in the Middle East and North Africa region is married by the age of 18.
As Mooro has gotten older, she's noticed increased pressure from her family and community to find a husband. She's often told that she should be less outspoken if she wants to attract a partner. However, through her journey of self-discovery, Mooro has realized that the most important relationship is the one she has with herself.
Navigating Religious Identity
Growing up between two cultures, Alya Mooro struggled to reconcile her Muslim cultural identity with the rising Islamophobia she encountered in Britain. This internal conflict led her to question her relationship with religion and how she presented her faith to others.
The "Technically Muslim" Label
For years, Mooro would tell people she was "technically" a Muslim. This qualification was a response to the increased Islamophobia following the 9/11 attacks. By distancing herself slightly from her Muslim identity, she hoped to avoid negative stereotypes and judgments in her British communities.
However, this approach came with its own set of challenges. Mooro lived in constant fear of being called out as a "bad Muslim" by more practicing members of the faith. This fear of judgment from both non-Muslims and devout Muslims created a sense of not belonging fully to either group.
Cultural vs. Religious Identity
Through conversations with other members of the Arab diaspora, Mooro realized that the need to identify as a "moderate Muslim" was unique to those living as minorities in Western countries. For Muslims in the Middle East, religious identity tends to be more fluid and less scrutinized.
Mooro points out that assuming everyone from the Middle East is a pious Muslim is as inaccurate as assuming everyone in America or Europe is a devout Christian. In reality, there's a wide spectrum of religious observance and belief within Muslim-majority countries.
The Impact of Stereotyping
The author argues that the stereotyping of Muslims and the resulting Islamophobia have had tragic consequences, including violence against innocent people. She shares a personal anecdote of succumbing to these stereotypes herself during a flight, only to feel horrified by her own prejudiced thoughts afterward.
Mooro identifies a lack of representation as a key factor in perpetuating these stereotypes. The absence of "moderate" or secular Muslims in mainstream culture means that when people encounter someone who is Muslim, they often assume they are an extremist. This reductive view of Islam is damaging for both Muslims and non-Muslims alike.
Finding Her Voice
Through her journey, Mooro has come to realize that her voice and experiences are valid, even if they don't fit neatly into predefined categories of Muslim identity. She argues that change will only come when people like her take their seats at the table and share their perspectives.
Embracing Feminism
Alya Mooro's path to feminism was not straightforward. For many years, she didn't identify as a feminist, having internalized many gendered stereotypes about men and women. However, her experiences in both Western and Middle Eastern contexts eventually led her to embrace feminist ideals.
Recognizing Internalized Sexism
Mooro admits that she once prided herself on being an "exception" to her gender, believing that she was different from other women because she didn't care about makeup and enjoyed football. This attitude reflected the internalized sexism that many women struggle with, often without realizing it.
As she grew older, Mooro began to recognize the pervasive nature of sexism in society. She cites a study that revealed significant gender bias in how people evaluate business pitches, with identical presentations receiving vastly different responses based solely on the presenter's gender.
Objectification Across Cultures
Mooro's feminist awakening was fueled by her experiences of objectification in both Western and Middle Eastern contexts. She recounts an incident in a Miami club where a rapper dismissed her as just another "disposable vagina," highlighting the dehumanizing way some men view women.
This experience led her to draw parallels with the treatment of women in the Middle East, where girls and women are often kept out of sight to avoid tempting men. Mooro realized that both approaches ultimately reduce women to their body parts, denying them full personhood.
Gender Inequality in the Arab World
While sexism is a global issue, Mooro acknowledges that gender inequality is particularly acute in the Middle East. She cites the 2017 Global Gender Gap Report, which found that six of the ten worst countries for gender inequality were in the Arab region.
However, Mooro cautions against simplistic explanations that blame Islam for this inequality. She points out that Islamic countries were historically progressive in some aspects of women's rights, such as allowing women to receive inheritance. Instead, she argues that the current state of gender relations in the Middle East is more a product of cultural interpretations and societal norms than religious doctrine alone.
Redefining Equality
For Mooro, true gender equality means women having control over their own lives. In the context of the Middle East, this would also require social welfare structures to protect women who make choices that go against traditional expectations.
Through her journey, Mooro has come to see feminism as a necessary tool for challenging the restrictive expectations placed on women in both Western and Arab societies. By embracing feminist ideals, she found a framework for understanding and combating the various forms of sexism she encountered throughout her life.
Creating a Home Between Cultures
As an immigrant and child of immigrants, Alya Mooro has grappled with the concept of home throughout her life. Her experiences have led her to develop a nuanced understanding of what it means to belong in a globalized world.
The Third Culture Experience
Mooro identifies herself as both Arab and British, while simultaneously feeling that she is neither fully one nor the other. This experience is common among immigrants and their children, often referred to as "third culture kids." In cosmopolitan cities like London, where 37% of residents were born outside the UK, this hybrid identity is increasingly prevalent.
Adapting to Different Contexts
Mooro observes that she and many of her friends unconsciously adapt their behavior to meet the expectations of their surroundings. In Cairo, she finds herself emphasizing her English-ness, while in London, she's careful not to embody negative stereotypes associated with wealthy Arab tourists.
This constant code-switching reflects a deeper anxiety shared by many immigrants – the subconscious belief that good behavior is a condition for remaining in their adopted country, regardless of their legal status.
The Fragility of Belonging
The author's sense of belonging was shaken by incidents like the UK's decision to revoke the citizenship of Shamima Begum, a British-born teenager who had traveled to Syria to join ISIS. The suggestion that Begum could apply for citizenship in Bangladesh, a country she had never visited, highlighted the precarious nature of belonging for those with immigrant backgrounds.
The Impact of Brexit
Mooro discusses how the Brexit referendum and its aftermath have made life more difficult for people of non-white backgrounds in the UK. She argues that it legitimized certain forms of racism, with anti-immigrant sentiment often expressed alongside pro-Brexit views.
Despite these challenges, Mooro notes that the majority of British people still believe that immigration has enriched modern Britain. A 2018 survey found that only 23% of respondents felt that immigration had undermined British cultural life.
Finding Home in the Everyday
Through her experiences, Mooro has come to realize that home is not necessarily tied to a specific place or culture. Instead, she finds a sense of belonging in the people around her and in the familiarity of daily routines. Simple things, like knowing which subway car to board for the quickest exit at her home station, contribute to her feeling of being at home.
The Freedom to Choose
Ultimately, Mooro's journey has led her to a powerful realization: she has the ability to make a home for herself anywhere she chooses. This freedom to define her own sense of belonging, rather than having it dictated by others, is what she considers the "greater freedom" referenced in the book's title.
Conclusion: Embracing Complexity and Forging Identity
In "The Greater Freedom," Alya Mooro takes readers on a deeply personal journey through the complexities of growing up between two cultures. Her experiences as an Arab woman in both Cairo and London highlight the challenges faced by many in the growing Arab diaspora across the Western world.
Throughout the book, Mooro grapples with a range of issues that shape the lives of Arab women, including:
- The struggle for identity in a world that often reduces people to stereotypes
- The pressure to conform to conflicting beauty standards
- Navigating sexuality in the face of cultural taboos and shame
- Dealing with societal expectations around marriage and relationships
- Reconciling religious identity with rising Islamophobia
- Embracing feminism while acknowledging cultural differences
- Finding a sense of home and belonging between cultures
Mooro's journey from confusion and self-doubt to self-discovery and empowerment offers valuable insights for readers from all backgrounds. Her story challenges simplistic narratives about Arab women and highlights the diversity of experiences within the Arab diaspora.
Key takeaways from Mooro's narrative include:
- The importance of representation in media and society for fostering a sense of belonging
- The need to challenge harmful stereotypes and expectations, both within and outside one's cultural community
- The value of embracing one's unique identity, even when it doesn't fit neatly into predefined categories
- The power of finding one's voice and sharing diverse perspectives to create change
Ultimately, "The Greater Freedom" is a testament to the resilience and adaptability of those who live between cultures. Mooro's story encourages readers to embrace the complexity of their identities and to find strength in their unique experiences.
By sharing her journey, Mooro contributes to a growing body of literature that gives voice to the experiences of Arab women in the diaspora. Her work helps to bridge cultural divides and foster greater understanding between communities.
As the world becomes increasingly interconnected, stories like Mooro's become ever more relevant. They remind us of the shared humanity that underlies our diverse experiences and the potential for growth and understanding that comes from embracing our differences.
In the end, the "greater freedom" Mooro discovers is the freedom to define herself on her own terms, to create a home wherever she chooses, and to live authentically at the intersection of her various cultural influences. Her journey serves as an inspiration for anyone struggling to find their place in a complex, multicultural world.