Book cover of The Lonely Century by Noreena Hertz

Noreena Hertz

The Lonely Century

Reading time icon12 min readRating icon3.9 (1,676 ratings)

Why, in an age of unprecedented connectivity, are so many of us feeling increasingly disconnected?

1: Neoliberal Capitalism Sparks Loneliness

Neoliberal capitalism has reshaped society by prioritizing self-interest and individualism over communal values. Since the 1980s, policies propagating market competition and small government have amplified wealth inequality, leaving many feeling unsupported by community structures and governments. As people focus on personal gain, empathy and solidarity have diminished.

Hyper-competitiveness has shifted our societal mindset, reducing our willingness to engage with our neighbors or act collaboratively. This "every man for himself" lifestyle has weakened communal bonds, making “being alone together” a reality for many urban societies. Consequently, loneliness has become a shared experience across generations, from teenagers to the elderly.

The move from collective well-being to individual success is reflected even in art and culture. For instance, pop music’s lyrics now lean heavily on first-person pronouns, emphasizing "I" over "we," a stark shift from the greater sense of togetherness often found in past decades.

Examples

  • The income gap in the US widened dramatically, with CEOs earning 58 times that of the average worker in 1989, but nearly 278 times more by 2018.
  • Elderly women in Japan commit petty crimes to escape isolation and receive care in prisons.
  • Political figures like Margaret Thatcher famously promoted the idea that "there's no such thing as society."

2: Loneliness Affects Physical Health

Loneliness isn't just an emotional strain; it takes a measurable toll on physical health. The human body, when lonely, enters a prolonged "fight or flight" state, leading to spiked cortisol levels, high blood pressure, and chronic inflammation. Over time, this can result in serious health conditions.

A sense of community has protective effects, as seen in tight-knit groups like Israel's Haredim. Despite poor diets and low incomes, their extended support networks lead to longer life expectancy compared to average Israelis. This connection emphasizes how relationships can bolster well-being.

Such physical consequences of loneliness aren't just tragic but costly for society. In the US alone, loneliness among seniors costs Medicare $7 billion annually, a burden set to increase as populations age.

Examples

  • Lonely people are 32% more likely to experience strokes and 64% more prone to dementia.
  • Israel's Haredim community thrives in spite of high obesity and poverty rates thanks to strong communal bonds.
  • Loneliness-related illnesses strain healthcare systems globally, especially in aging populations.

There's a connection between loneliness and the rise of right-wing populism. People who lack personal connections are more drawn to movements that promise cohesion and purpose. Totalitarian regimes throughout history have similarly exploited loneliness to gain power.

The rise of figures like Donald Trump illustrates this. Many of his supporters reported having fewer close relationships compared to other voters in 2016. Trump's messaging of unity through nationalism resonated with those seeking a sense of belonging, though it often came at the expense of scapegoating others.

When economic and social security vanish, people yearning for recaptured stability often turn to exclusionary ideologies. This offers insight into broader social unrest globally today.

Examples

  • Trump supporters were less likely to participate in community events or organizations, as noted through surveys.
  • Historical reference: Hannah Arendt argued loneliness fueled the attraction of 20th-century totalitarian regimes.
  • Current far-right appeals center on nostalgic promises like "Make America Great Again," tapping into loneliness and exclusion.

4: Urbanization Adds to Isolation

As cities grow ever larger, urban dwellers face profound isolation while surrounded by millions. Nearly half of urban residents now live alone. For many, the city itself is a place of transactional, rather than substantive, relationships. Services like RentAFriend or the global mukbang trend monetize companionship, though they don't replace true connections.

Urban life, with its demanding pace, leaves less time and energy for forming friendships. As people move for work or study, support systems grow weaker. Consequently, online interactions and impersonal, commodified experiences become substitutes for genuine relationships.

These trends reflect shifting priorities, where convenience and productivity overshadow meaningful interpersonal engagements in bustling city environments.

Examples

  • The author hired a service called RentAFriend, used by urban professionals to buy temporary companionship.
  • Cities like Tokyo and Manhattan see around 50% of residents living alone, increasing the risk of loneliness.
  • Mukbang hosts, eating in real-time online for viewers, earn millions by fulfilling their audience's need to connect during mealtimes.

5: A Contactless Economy Isolates People

Modern conveniences, like online shopping and food delivery services, minimize the need for human interaction, creating new forms of disconnection. Retailers like Amazon Go offer completely self-service stores, where you interact solely with machines. While efficient, this trend eliminates small but meaningful daily interactions.

Communal spaces, such as libraries or playgrounds, have been shuttered across many developed nations. This lack of shared spaces reduces opportunities for the quick chats and smiles that bolster collective happiness. Research proves everyday microinteractions can significantly boost one's mood and foster a sense of belonging.

When human contact fades, it’s no surprise that feelings of isolation grow more widespread and persistent.

Examples

  • Almost 800 libraries closed across the UK from 2008 to 2018.
  • Sociologists found friendly interaction with baristas made coffee shop customers feel happier.
  • Amazon’s fully automated stores embody an extreme of removing human touch from commerce.

6: Screen Addictions Hurt Children's Social Skills

Technology allows us to connect with anyone, anywhere—yet despite being always "online," we often lose connections in real life. Children especially suffer, with excessive screen time stunting their emotional and social development. Studies link prolonged screen exposure with reduced empathy and greater difficulty in handling emotions.

Social media compounds the problem, exposing kids to cyberbullying and fostering a constant comparison cycle. These experiences isolate children when physical play and face-to-face interactions are substituted with digital entertainment.

While technology's benefits are undeniable, clear boundaries are essential for younger generations to protect their mental health and relational well-being.

Examples

  • A Canadian study noted children spending 2+ hours daily on screens struggled to express emotions or problem-solve.
  • Teenagers report significant distress from cyberbullying, compounded by omnipresent digital access.
  • Screen-addiction parallels outrages in 1989 when mandatory seatbelts for children were resisted; change is still possible.

7: Robots as Companions?

Social robots may present an option for combatting loneliness, particularly among the elderly. Japan has embraced AI robots like PaPeRo to provide companionship for its aging population. These machines offer recognition, reminders, and personalized greetings.

But relationships with robots introduce ethical dilemmas. While they can fulfill practical needs or serve as comforting presences, replacing human connection with artificial alternatives risks reducing our investment in real relationships.

For some, like buyers of lifelike AI-enhanced sex dolls, these robots even serve dual roles as companions and sexual aids, offering further complexity around emotional reliance on non-human entities.

Examples

  • Two-thirds of Roomba owners named their vacuum cleaners, showcasing emotional bonding with machines.
  • In 2018, a majority of older Japanese respondents said they'd happily live with a robotic helper.
  • RealDoll's AI head, Harmony, demonstrates machines’ growing emotional responsiveness.

8: Structural Change Promotes Connection

While technology and capitalism have driven loneliness, deliberate structural changes can reverse these trends. Governments can reimagine economies and prioritize welfare and public health initiatives that unite communities rather than divide them.

History shows this is possible. After the Great Depression, programs like Roosevelt's New Deal restructured American society and mitigated inequality. Today, fostering inclusive democracies where every voice matters could help dissolve loneliness while bridging political and economic divides.

Change requires bold political shifts and individual efforts to practice communal values in everyday life.

Examples

  • Taiwan polls citizens on laws and local issues, giving everyone a say in governance.
  • Social programs like the New Deal reshaped America following mass economic suffering.
  • COVID-19 highlighted disparities, catalyzing discussions on creating more connected societies.

9: Personal Acts Can Combat Loneliness

Large-scale solutions are important, but personal actions often have immediate effects. Simple acts of kindness, such as more conversations with strangers or shared moments at work, build much-needed connections.

Learning to prioritize relationships over digital distractions also matters. Whether through spending quality time with family or engaging in a community project, everyone has the power to help build a loving, caring society.

These gestures may seem small but can make a big difference in others' lives over time.

Examples

  • Bringing cookies to a workplace can open up valuable social opportunities.
  • Engaging with a barista during coffee runs measurably improves happiness.
  • Choosing to turn off devices while spending time with loved ones promotes stronger connections.

Takeaways

  1. Make time for in-person connections every week, even if it’s just chatting with a stranger.
  2. Use social media and technology more intentionally, reducing screen time for more meaningful interactions.
  3. Support policies or local initiatives promoting shared public spaces and inclusive community development.

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