The Soul of a Woman

“What do women really want? Women want to be heard.” This age-old question explored by Isabel Allende invites readers into a profound journey through feminism, love, creativity, and the ongoing fight against patriarchy.

1. Rooted in Feminism from Birth

Isabel’s introduction to feminism started within her own family. Witnessing her mother Panchita’s struggles with patriarchal norms lit a fire of defiance and advocacy within her. Panchita’s husband abandoned her and her three children, leaving her dependent on her parents. As Panchita faced societal scorn with no resources or experience to support herself, young Isabel internalized the suffering caused by machismo.

Isabel’s fire for justice wasn’t just confined to her family. As a child in Chile, she observed how the household maids were treated as invisible laborers. They were relegated to cramped, bleak living spaces and denied voices or opportunities. These experiences shaped Isabel’s lifelong resistance to patriarchal norms.

She grew up openly expressing her frustration with male dominance. Panchita even consulted doctors about Isabel’s strong-willed nature, which ironically wasn’t seen as alarming when displayed by males. Isabel now defines patriarchy as a system rooted in both misogyny and other forms of societal oppression, emphasizing feminism as the tool to replace this system entirely with one that values femininity equally.

Examples

• Panchita’s annulment agreement that her ex-husband wouldn’t care for the children.
• The maids forced to work tirelessly in dehumanizing conditions.
• Isabel’s childhood defiance, misunderstood as a medical concern due to her gender.

2. Love Comes with Sacrifices and Double Standards

Despite Isabel’s feminist ideals, societal pressures influenced her choices in love. In her twenties, fearing the label of “spinster,” she married Miguel, a decision influenced as much by love as by societal expectations. Yet, love sometimes led her astray, as seen in 1976 when she temporarily abandoned her family for a fleeting romance.

Women, according to Isabel, often sacrifice their time, happiness, and possessions for their romantic partners and children. This phenomenon reflects the deep psychological conditioning that compels women to value relationships even at great personal cost.

The societal expectations around love are riddled with double standards favoring men. For instance, men freely date significantly younger women, but older women pursuing younger men face societal scorn. Amid evolving dynamics like the rise of online dating, new avenues for abuse and manipulation also emerge, highlighting persistent challenges in modern romance.

Examples

• Isabel’s hasty marriage to Miguel at age 20, driven by societal pressure.
• Her affair with an Argentinian musician, causing turmoil in her family.
• Brenda, a woman conned by a smooth-talking architect she met online, a warning tale of romance and deception.

3. Creativity and Talent Under Patriarchy

Isabel found her calling as a writer while working at the feminist magazine Paula. Yet, her journey to success, highlighted by her breakthrough novel The House of the Spirits, was marked by patriarchal barriers. She faced slow recognition, starkly contrasting the rapid acclaim male counterparts received.

Patriarchy undervalues women’s creative contributions or redefines them as secondary. Isabel’s mother, Panchita, a talented painter, was never encouraged to value her own work, leading her to copy other artists rather than risk asserting her originality.

The value discrepancy extends beyond individuals to art markets. The creative outputs of women, such as handcrafts, are often labeled as lesser forms compared to men’s, even when equally or more intricate. This devaluation reflects an ongoing struggle for recognition and equality in creative fields.

Examples

• Isabel’s career breakthrough with The House of the Spirits in a male-dominated literary world.
• Panchita’s reluctance to embrace her talent due to societal views.
• Mass acceptance of a man’s simplistic artwork, like a banana taped to a wall, as “high art.”

4. Feminism and Femininity Can Coexist

Isabel enjoys dressing up and enhancing her appearance not because of societal pressures but because it brings her joy. She embraces femininity without seeing it as a contradiction to her feminism. Feminism and traditional self-expression can coexist when women claim control over how they express themselves.

Patriarchy often weaponizes beauty standards against women, monetizing insecurity with products and services to “fix” nonexistent flaws. Beyond appearance, women’s sexuality is also subjected to patriarchal regulation, as illustrated in the debates surrounding abortion and reproductive rights.

Her personal experience aiding Celina, a girl seeking an illegal abortion, solidified Isabel’s advocacy for reproductive freedom. She continues to fight for women’s autonomy through her charity, which supports vulnerable women globally.

Examples

• Isabel’s passion for makeup and fashion as a personal, empowering choice.
• The beauty industry profiting off marketed insecurities.
• Her foundation’s efforts to aid women facing issues like forced labor and abuse.

5. Aging as a Season of Possibilities

Isabel views aging not as a decline but as an opportunity for wisdom and purpose. Though physically changed, she sees her later years as a chance to simplify life and focus on meaningful pursuits like writing and advocacy.

She draws inspiration from Olga Murray, a 94-year-old who rescued thousands of child slaves in Nepal. Murray exemplifies how purpose can age-proof the spirit. Isabel encourages women to embrace the freedom offered by age, shedding people-pleasing habits and fear of judgment.

The concept of emboldened grandmothers highlights how women can harness life’s experiences to effect change. These women, with their rich perspectives, are integral to building a better society for future generations.

Examples

• Isabel’s shift to more relaxed writing habits post-70.
• Olga Murray’s work banning the kamlari practice in Nepal.
• The personal growth that comes with shedding societal expectations in older age.

6. Understanding What Women Want

The patriarchal answer to the riddle “What do women want?” reflects outdated assumptions laden with misogyny. Women desire authenticity: safety, respect, bodily autonomy, love, and peace. Yet, these are often denied to them, as seen in the enduring normalization of violence against women.

Patriarchy’s roots in aggression create environments where women live in constant fear. Biology may contribute to male aggression, but societal structures heighten it, fostering widespread suffering.

True change involves recognizing that fear and violence serve as tools of control. By dismantling these structures, society can start addressing the actual needs and desires of women.

Examples

• Repeated violence against women, such as daily femicides in Mexico.
• Biological differences in how men and women respond to threats.
• The global neglect of women’s safety and autonomy due to systemic patriarchy.

7. Investing in Women Transforms Communities

Empowering women is an effective way to improve societies worldwide. In impoverished regions, directing resources to women creates ripple effects as they invest in children’s education, health, and well-being.

Isabel reflects on visiting a group of women in Kenya who, despite adversity, fostered a vibrant, supportive community. Strong female networks counteract isolation and build resilience, laying the groundwork for social change.

This transformation can only be realized on a larger scale once society dismantles systems that label women as secondary or lesser. A world that values women equally benefits everyone.

Examples

• Mothers’ spending tendencies in developing countries supporting community growth.
• The laughter and strength of women in Kibisom, Kenya.
• The lasting benefits of fostering cooperative spaces for women.

8. Gender Equality Requires Systemic Change

Patriarchy celebrates traits like aggression while demeaning femininity. For true equality, society must embrace traditionally feminine values like cooperation, empathy, and nurturing.

From education systems to workplace practices, perpetuating male dominance in subtle ways ensures inequality persists. Feminism calls for not merely leveling the playing field but redesigning it entirely to honor shared human values.

Examples of progress show that countries investing in gender equity tend to flourish. These cases demonstrate that equality isn't a zero-sum game; it enriches all.

Examples

• The suppression of female literacy and education in patriarchal societies.
• Economic growth tied to gender equality in investments.
• Feminist efforts working to realign values toward inclusiveness.

9. A Vision of a World Without Patriarchy

Isabel dreams of a society free from patriarchy, where qualities like compassion and equality replace aggression and dominance. In this world, divisions based on age, race, gender, or class no longer exist.

The imagery of women’s circles around the globe encapsulates collective strength, fostering solidarity and healing. Feminism isn’t just about women’s liberation – it’s about human liberation.

This vision isn’t unattainable or abstract. It’s a project in progress, with every step forward bringing the world closer to balance and harmony.

Examples

• Women’s camaraderie observed in Kenyan communities.
• Grassroots movements advocating for gender equality.
• Dreams of a future driven by shared prosperity and peace.

Takeaways

1. Empower women economically to create lasting societal benefits by investing in education, businesses, and healthcare.
2. Develop communities and support networks among women to foster growth, resilience, and positive change.
3. Advocate for systemic changes that value empathy, collaboration, and nurturing to build an inclusive society.