This Will Be My Undoing

How can we build a world that recognizes the humanity and value of Black women, rather than forcing them to conform to stereotypes?

1. The Burden of Assimilation

Morgan Jerkins reflects on her desire as a child to suppress her Blackness to better fit into white-dominated culture. This aspiration stemmed from understanding that Blackness was often seen as threatening or undesirable. Black girls feel pressured to adopt whiteness in their behavior, appearance, and even social affiliations to survive and succeed.

Society often penalizes those who embrace their Black identity. Jerkins changed her hair, wore brands that signified whiteness like Gap, and avoided associations with Black classmates who rejected white-centric norms. These actions weren’t just about preference but survival in a world that favored whiteness.

Even when successful, a Black woman's achievements may be attributed to her divergence from the stereotypes of Blackness, perpetuating the harmful narrative that one cannot be both Black and human. Jerkins discusses her own experiences, like being told she didn’t seem like a “typical” Black woman because of her education and demeanor.

Examples

• Young Jerkins avoided natural Black hairstyles to appear less threatening.
• Choosing clothes popular among white peers gave her a sense of acceptance.
• A man couldn’t reconcile Jerkins’ Black identity with her Princeton background.

2. Why Ignoring Skin Color Harms, Not Helps

"Color-blindness" is often considered progressive, but Jerkins argues it erases critical truths. Declaring you “don’t see race” means ignoring the historical and societal context tied to Black identity. When people deny seeing skin color, they inadvertently dismiss the challenges and racism that come with it.

Black identity encompasses lived experiences, cultural heritage, and systemic hurdles. Dismissing someone’s Blackness means disregarding these realities, which are central to their experiences. Many white liberals avoid acknowledging race to prevent seeming racist but fail to see how this invalidates the identities and struggles of people of color.

Claiming to not see color can also mask a patronizing assumption: that success among Black people requires assimilation to white culture. This underlines a deeper problem where Black identity is only respected if aligned to white expectations and standards.

Examples

• White liberal peers told Jerkins they “don’t see color,” yet judged Blackness negatively.
• Successful Black individuals are often celebrated primarily for blending into white culture.
• The phrase “I see no color” leaves no room to address racial inequality.

3. The Fetishization of Black Women’s Bodies

Society has a long history of exploiting and dehumanizing Black women’s bodies, reducing them to mere objects of fascination or desire. Jerkins traces this back to slavery when Black women were viewed as property and subjected to violence and sexual exploitation. Sadly, remnants of these perspectives persist today.

Modern examples include the objectification of features like Black women's hair. When someone asks to touch their hair, even with admiration, it treats Black women as aesthetic novelties instead of individuals. Such interactions are rooted in ignorance of personal boundaries and an unwillingness to respect Black culture.

This fetishization strips Black women of their agency and reinforces harmful narratives of them being solely sexual or exotic. Even when it appears as praise, it diminishes their humanity and reduces them to stereotypes.

Examples

• The story of the Hottentot Venus, a Black woman exhibited for her physical features.
• Strangers asking to touch Black women’s natural hair.
• Media continuously portraying Black women as hypersexual beings.

4. How Traditional Feminism Leaves Black Women Behind

While feminism has advanced women’s rights, its mainstream narratives often exclude or undermine Black women’s experiences. Jerkins critiques white narratives that try to speak for Black women without understanding the nuances of their struggles. This continues the systemic silencing of Black voices.

The film Girlhood serves as an example: although it features a young Black girl, its white director dismissed the character’s Blackness as irrelevant. Such interpretations erase critical aspects of Black girlhood, such as the unique challenges Black girls face due to racism and sexualization.

True feminism must include space for the cultural and social realities of Black women. Without acknowledging these differences, feminism becomes another tool for marginalization rather than solidarity.

Examples

• The white director of Girlhood universalized the experience of a Black girl.
• Black girls regularly face stereotypes and sexualization that white girls do not.
• Feminist narratives often center white experiences, sidelining Black struggles.

5. Stereotypes and the Myth of the "Strong Black Woman"

Black women are often saddled with the stereotype of being resilient to all forms of suffering. While strength can be empowering, this expectation creates a damaging narrative that forbids vulnerability and expression for Black women. From a young age, many are taught to suppress their emotions rather than show weakness.

Historically, this stereotype has roots in slavery, where Black women were expected to endure immense suffering without complaint. In modern times, it persists as a method of dismissing the emotional and mental health challenges faced by Black women.

This expectation is perpetuated not only by white society but also within Black communities. Mothers may inadvertently pass this sense of "emotional stoicism" to their daughters as a survival mechanism—but it limits their daughters’ freedom to express themselves fully.

Examples

• The "Strong Black Woman" stereotype discourages expressing vulnerability.
• Black mothers teach emotional restraint to protect their daughters.
• Mental health struggles in Black women are often ignored due to this myth.

6. The Problem with Cultural Appropriation

Jerkins highlights the harmful effects when white people adopt and profit from Black cultural elements while Black people are criticized for the same expressions. Cultural elements tied to Black identity become acceptable only when repurposed by white individuals.

Take hairstyles like cornrows or dance moves like twerking: white celebrities receive admiration for embracing these, while Black women face judgment or even systemic pushback in schools or workplaces. This double standard trivializes the cultural significance of these practices.

Black culture isn’t a free resource for profit or entertainment. When appropriated, it reinforces inequality by benefiting the dominant group while alienating or punishing the originators.

Examples

• Miley Cyrus was praised for twerking, yet Nicki Minaj faced backlash.
• Black girls are penalized for wearing cornrows in professional settings.
• Kylie Jenner profited from Black hairstyles without acknowledging their roots.

7. The Crabs-in-a-Barrel Mentality

The scarcity of opportunities for Black women has led to a survival mindset. The "crabs-in-a-barrel" metaphor suggests that, out of fear, Black women may hesitate to support one another for fear of losing their own chances of success.

Jerkins emphasizes that this mentality weakens the community as a whole. To rise above systemic barriers, Black women must proactively uplift and support one another. Success for one should symbolize potential for many rather than competition.

Black women have an innate connection through shared struggles. This bond can be a source of strength if it’s transformed into a foundation for collective progress and mutual empowerment.

Examples

• Fear of supporting others stems from limited opportunities.
• Helping others can dismantle the systemic barriers represented by the “barrel.”
• Celebrating one Black woman’s success can inspire entire communities.

8. White Standards Drag Black Identity

The narrative of white standards being universal casts Black culture as "different" or "other." When Black individuals emulate these standards to survive, it diminishes their ability to fully express their own identities.

This can lead to erasure of Blackness, as the instances that adhere to white expectations are rewarded, while Black cultural practices are overlooked or discouraged. Jerkins argues that embracing Blackness fully is necessary for both individual empowerment and broader societal respect.

Assimilation strategies are not solutions but coping mechanisms in an unequal society. These keep systemic biases intact rather than addressing them.

Examples

• Black individuals adopting white cultural markers to gain acceptance.
• Professional environments setting standards coded in whiteness.
• The narrative of universal standards excludes Black cultural values.

9. The Power of Collective Empowerment

At the heart of Jerkins’ message is the importance of collective strength among Black women. Individual successes should not be isolated moments but stepping-stones for others. By working together, Black women can dismantle the societal barrel that confines them.

Success stories serve as inspiration, showing parents and communities what’s possible for future generations. When Black women lift each other rather than compete, the whole community progresses.

Jerkins encourages solidarity not just in sadness but in sharing and uplifting joyful moments. True support requires fostering collective hope rather than just reacting to shared adversity.

Examples

• Celebrating a Black girl’s academic success as a win for the entire community.
• Black mothers drawing inspiration for their daughters’ futures.
• Collective joys creating more positive narratives for the next generation.

Takeaways

1. Recognize and celebrate Black identity without trivializing or reducing its history and cultural significance.
2. Actively foster solidarity among Black women through mutual empowerment and collective growth.
3. Avoid “color-blindness” by acknowledging systemic challenges faced by Black individuals and advocating for meaningful change.